by Amy Durham
Even as I shook my head at the absurdity of it all, inside, I cringed at how close I’d come to being part of the rumor mill. In a school this small, there was nothing worse than being the subject of gossip. It didn’t even matter if what was being said was true or not, people would blather on and on about stuff, exaggerating as they went, and before long everyone was an expert on your life.
Headed up the hall toward my homeroom, I kept my head down and didn’t approach anyone or enter into the conversations. Considering how I’d spent my summer, invisible seemed like a pretty good idea.
Approaching Mrs. Harvey’s classroom, I found my best friend, Vivian Rogers, waiting for me. At least I hoped she was still my best friend. Though we’d talked a few times, I’d snubbed her pretty much all summer, in favor of Nikki and Courtney and the rebelliousness I’d found with them. I had no excuse, no real way to explain myself, other than admitting I’d been a stupid fool. I only hoped Viv would be forgiving.
“Hey Viv,” I said, hoping the contriteness I felt came through in my voice. “I’m sorry I didn’t call much over the summer. I was just –”
“It’s okay.” Viv just smiled, forgiveness and hurt showing equally in her eyes. Even through the hurt, she still tried to understand. “I know you were just fighting your way back after losing your dad.”
“I behaved like a moron.”
“Yes, you did,” she agreed. “Are you done with those two skanks?”
“Absolutely,” I said. “And I really am very sorry. For everything.”
“And I accept.” She nodded her head toward Mrs. Harvey’s room, her curly red hair bouncing around her face. “Let’s head to homeroom.”
Relief warmed me from the inside. Just like that, things were back to almost normal between Viv and me. Well, sort of. She’d accepted my apology, but I knew I’d still need to prove myself to her. Forgiveness didn’t necessarily mean complete trust just yet. But, if Viv could try to get past my stupidity, I had to believe that I could find some part of my old self – my real self – too.
* * *
Nikki and Courtney made their first appearance at lunch. Well, I figured they’d been at school the whole day, but since I was enrolled in honors classes, and they were… well… not enrolled in honors classes, I’d been able to avoid them.
Not so lucky in the cafeteria, which naturally smelled of some bland, generic vegetable steaming away. The two of them stood just inside the door. Though Vivian knew I’d spent some time sowing some wild oats with Nikki and Courtney, she had no idea about the night of the wreck. No one did.
Not even me, if you got right down to it.
“Viv, why don’t you get us a table,” I said. “I’ll be right there.”
“You sure?” she asked.
I nodded. I had to get this over with. I figured the two of them didn’t want word to spread about their arrests, which meant they couldn’t announce my involvement without implicating themselves. But that didn’t mean they weren’t going to try to make me miserable.
As soon as she stepped away, I turned to face Nikki and Courtney.
“You freaking ran out on us.” Courtney’s voice dripped with contempt. It was difficult to take her seriously with her low-cut shirt and ill-fitting push-up bra shoving her cleavage out at a very unnatural angle. Not to mention the cut-off shorts that clearly did not meet the school dress code. Also distracting was her artificial black hair, which looked like someone had resurfaced the black top of a driveway with her head. Combine that with the hoop protruding from her eyebrow piercing, and Courtney was a hot mess. It was a shame, really. She’d probably be kind of pretty without all that.
“Left us there to take the blame for everything,” Nikki added with a snarl.
Yes, I’d been drunk. Yes, I would’ve been in big trouble for that. But I hadn’t been driving, so technically that offense was Nikki’s alone. I decided I probably shouldn’t point that out.
Even with the fuchsia streaks in her blond hair, she didn’t look trashy like Courtney. I was pretty certain Courtney’s dye job came from a bottle she got at the discount store, while Nikki’s came from a pricey salon. And that just highlighted the difference between the two of them. Nikki was the money behind the operation, and Courtney was the tag-along.
“Look, I was just as drunk as you guys,” I said, keeping my voice low. “I barely remember the wreck, much less what happened afterward. I don’t remember getting out of the car, and I have no idea how I got home. I guess I walked.”
“Yeah right.” Nikki stepped closer, putting her face inches from mine. “You expect us to believe that you wandered over three miles to your house and have no memory of it? How stupid do you think we are?”
Answering that question honestly would probably get me punched in the face.
Ebony black hair caught my attention from across the cafeteria. It belonged to a really tall guy dressed in faded jeans and a light blue tee shirt, and even though his back was to me, I knew he was new here. Those broad shoulders were far more imposing than any shoulders that usually walked these halls. Though I mentally willed him to turn around so I could see his face, he tossed an empty water bottle in the trash and exited the lunchroom through the doors on the opposite side. On his way out, I caught a glimpse of what looked like black leather biker-style boots.
Interesting. Too bad I hadn’t gotten a good look at him.
Oh well. Rison was a small school. I’d see him again eventually.
Nikki’s tapping foot brought me back to my unpleasant reality.
“I don’t know what else to say.” I looked at both of them. “I remember pretty much everything up until the wreck, and then it’s just blank. I hit my head when we crashed and after that I don’t know what happened.”
“You skipped out and left us to get arrested, while you came out squeaky clean.” Courtney stepped closer as well. “We’re lucky Nikki’s dad knew the right people to call, but it’s still not over for us.”
“I’m sorry, I really am.” That much was true. I’d been there in that car with them, and I really was sorry that things had gone so badly. On the other hand, I was not sorry that the wreck had scared the stupid out of me. “But I can’t tell you what happened because I don’t remember.”
“We may not be able to prove you were in that car with us, but don’t think you won’t pay for abandoning us to take the heat,” Nikki said, just before the two of them stalked off.
Fantastic. Nikki and Courtney’s revenge radar was so not where I wanted to be.
* * *
Viv and I both had Political Science with Mr. Austin last period. I loved Mr. Austin. He was the sponsor of the Student Government Organization, so as president of my class freshman, sophomore, and junior year, I’d gotten to know him pretty well.
Which made his class the toughest one all day. First of all, he patted me on the back and told me he was so sorry to hear about my dad. I managed not to tear up, but it was a close call. Second, he pointed out the poster about Student Government Elections, and told me he was looking forward to working with me again.
I hadn’t thought about Student Government all summer. And the idea of putting myself out there, making speeches, being the advocate for the senior class? After the past few months I couldn’t imagine a scenario where I’d feel comfortable with all that. But Mr. Austin’s enthusiasm kept me from saying so.
I’d figure out a way to tell him I wasn’t running for office. Just not today.
Viv saved me when she came in like a whirlwind, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward a row of desks.
“Did you hear about the new guy?” she asked, her eyes wide with animation. Viv always got excited when she was the first to share something.
“No,” I said, glad I could answer truthfully. I hadn’t heard about the new guy, though I was pretty sure I’d seen him.
“Moved here from Florida,” she said. “At least that’s what I heard from Jennifer, and she helps out in the office during fifth period, so I
figure she knows. And get this. He rode to school on a motorcycle!”
A motorcycle? Wow. That was a first for Rison High.
“Why didn’t we notice that this morning?” I asked.
“He didn’t come in to enroll until just before lunch. I heard he’s living with his aunt while his parents are off on some top secret job somewhere in Europe.”
To be so sensible and down-to-earth, Viv loved gossip more than anyone I knew.
“Did you catch his name?” I was dying to know if tall, dark, and built had a name to match his looks.
“Not yet, but I’m working on it,” she said with a wink.
I rolled my eyes and giggled at her, thinking how glad I was to be back in a routine with my best friend. Nikki and Courtney had been poor substitutes for Vivian.
* * *
I waited on the front sidewalk with the other kids whose parents picked them up. By and large they were all either too young to drive or unfortunate enough to have overprotective parents who wouldn’t let them ride the bus. Then there was me – a licensed driver who’d lost her keys thanks to reckless behavior.
I saw him – ebony hair guy from the cafeteria – just as I noticed Mom driving down the street and pulling into line with the other parents. The motorcycle was hard to miss, large and gleaming black, standing between two pick-up trucks looking completely out of place and totally cool at the same time.
He picked up the helmet and turned to look straight at me, like he meant to. Like among all the other people in the parking lot and waiting on the sidewalk, he’d picked me out on purpose.
I couldn’t help but look back. There was something so familiar about him. Even from a distance I could tell he was tall, at least a head taller than the boy getting into the truck next to him. His hair, dark and just long enough to turn up on the ends, was just the right amount of messy. I couldn’t see the color of his eyes, but the deep dimples in his cheeks flashed when he smiled at me.
He. Smiled. At. Me.
A gentle breeze swirled around me and seemed to warm me from the inside. A sense of rightness simmered and hummed around in my soul, as if somehow he’d flipped the switch that had shut off when my dad died.
I smiled back, but only halfway. This moment was so surreal. My mind didn’t exactly believe the images my eyes were sending, and my heart was having real trouble with the emotional side of things.
He nodded, acknowledging my smile, and just as I was about to take a huge risk and wave at him, a car horn beeped.
Mom.
When I looked back toward motorcycle dude, his back was to me as he strapped on his helmet. Just as well. I was seconds away from making a total fool of myself.
But his smile and the dimples stayed with me the entire drive home.
We lived on Stableview Road, a little country lane a couple of miles off the main highway that ran through Rison. Though it wasn’t the center of the action, it wasn’t exactly the boondocks, especially since there were four other houses down our road, along with the lovely, rolling pastures of Bryton Farms, one of many horse farms in our neck of the woods.
“I hope today wasn’t too awkward,” Mom said, as we neared our driveway.
“Nikki and Courtney had their say at lunch,” I replied, conveniently leaving out the part about my being in the car when Nikki crashed. “They don’t get why I dropped them.”
“Well, you’ve made the right decision. I hope you still believe that.”
I nodded. “Viv and I are fine. For the most part. She was very forgiving.”
Mom smiled, pulling up beside the house. “Let’s see how the first few weeks of school go, and maybe you can have your car keys back.”
That thought perked me up a bit.
Mom went on. “I know you haven’t wanted to talk about your dad, but at some point we’re going to have to. I’m here when you’re ready.”
And that thought slammed me back down.
“There’s not much to talk about,” I said. “We said it all the day he walked out on us.”
“He didn’t walk out on us, Zoe.” She stopped and turned to me, sighing heavily. “There’s plenty left to say, and I think you know that. But I won’t push you. Yet. I know that what happened is more than you can easily wrap your mind around. But you can’t hold it all inside forever.”
I said nothing. Just opened my car door and started to get out.
Mom’s hand on my arm stopped me.
“I’ve got to get back to the office. I’ll be home at my regular time.”
“Okay.”
“Think about what I said, Zoe.”
I stepped out of the car and shut the door.
She backed out of the drive, and I watched her car disappear as she headed back to town. I dug my keys from my purse, but just as I turned to go inside, the sound of an approaching vehicle caught my attention.
It was louder than most cars that regularly drove this road.
That’s because it wasn’t a car at all.
It was a motorcycle. A big, black one.
Even with the helmet obscuring his hair, I knew it was the ebony-haired guy from school. The light blue shirt was my first clue. But really, how many black motorcycles ran the roads in Rison? He slowed as he passed my house, looking over with a wave. This close to the road, I could even see his grin and the dimples.
He and his bike were out of sight, further down the road toward Ms. Turner’s house, when I realized I hadn’t waved back.
Chapter 4
The advantage of starting the school year on Thursday was that Friday came quickly, and on the second day of school all buzz centered on the new guy.
The motorcycle seemed to be the biggest topic of conversation. I had to admit it was pretty cool. No one had ever driven a motorcycle to Rison High. I remembered seeing him yesterday, in the school parking lot and then again riding down my road after school. Despite the biker-persona, his eyes had been kind, and I found myself curious to know more about him. Like maybe his name.
Halfway to my locker, I caught sight of him. With Nikki Hughes. And Courtney Powell. Nikki was clearly on the prowl, judging by the way she slid her hand down his arm. Gag me.
Looking the other way, I pushed my way through the crowded hall and reached my locker. Naturally, Nikki’s voice rose louder as I got closer.
“There’s a party at Chad Blevins’s place tonight,” she said. “All the important people will be there.”
Like Nikki, Chad’s parents had money, and didn’t mind spending it on their son, to the point that Chad was as spoiled as Nikki, with just as big a sense of entitlement. I was quite sure there would be plenty of alcohol at Chad’s get-together, and probably other stuff I didn’t want to think about.
How had I ever thought I wanted any part of that craziness? Then I remembered the numbness I’d been looking for. The empty nothingness that had seemed to help me escape the awful mix of emotions I’d had after my father left. Then died.
Thank goodness I’d realized how insane an idea that had been before I screwed up any worse.
“I can swing by and pick you up.” Nikki’s voice screeched above the noise of slamming lockers and teenage chatter. “Or we could take your bike.”
For a split second I considered asking her what was going on with the drunk driving charges, but I really didn’t want to stoop to her level.
“No thanks,” came an unfamiliar voice. And what a nice voice it was. Deep and rich, and different from any voice I’d ever heard. “But it was nice to meet you.”
I hung my backpack in my locker and looked around for Viv, while Nikki continued to call after biker-guy. I rolled my eyes. He’d been polite, but pretty clear. He wasn’t interested. Yet she persisted.
Desperation was not an attractive quality in a female.
Looking to my left, I saw Viv making her way down the hall. And then he stepped into my vision, blocking out Viv and the rest of the chaos in the hallway.
Umm, wow. He was even better up close. The ability
to speak left me.
“Hey,” he said, and considering he was standing so close, I knew he was talking to me.
I looked up. Way up. He had to be over six feet tall. And looked straight into the most gorgeous set of baby blues I’d ever seen. The deep green shirt he wore today accentuated the color of his irises.
Black hair and blue eyes were totally hot together.
“I saw you yesterday,” he continued, unaffected by my stunned silence. “I’m Adrian.”
Adrian. It suited him. His name was just as beautiful he was.
I should talk. Say something. Introduce myself. Wipe the drool from my chin.
“Zoe,” I squeaked, cringing at how stupid I sounded. “Zoe Gray.”
“Adrian Shaw.” He stuck his hand out, waiting for me to shake it.
I stared at his hand. He wanted me to put my hand in his, and even as I told myself it was just a simple greeting, the thought of feeling his skin against mine left me frozen.
Snap out of it! Act like you have a brain, not just raging hormones!
I gripped his hand. His fingers closed around mine, and everything inside me went still, calm… right. The noise around me stopped. The bustle of the kids in the hall faded away. And I found myself lost in the feeling of my hand in his, drowning in the way his eyes searched mine.
“I’m living with my aunt, Maggie Turner.” His voice snapped me out of my trance, and at the same time anchored me to him even more. “She lives down the road from you, I guess.”
“Yes.” I nodded, pulling my hand from his with a healthy amount of regret. “I know her. She bakes cakes, right?”
“Right.” He leaned a shoulder against the locker next to mine, as if settling in for a long conversation. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other, since we live so close.”
“I guess,” I said, turning to look at my locker, in an attempt to not stare at him. Besides, I needed to grab my Pre-Calculus book for second period. I didn’t want to have to make a trip back to the locker.
“You going to that party she was just talking about?” he asked.
“Um, no.” I almost laughed out loud. Where was my Pre-Cal book? I’d taken it home to look through it, as if glancing ahead would somehow magically make me understand it all. I could’ve sworn I had it in my backpack when I left home this morning.