by Amy Durham
Mom lowered her voice. Even though I couldn’t understand her, the frustration in her tone was evident.
Great.
“That was Principal Burton,” Mom said, coming into the living room a few minutes later.
I gave a noncommittal grunt.
“Another student has a video,” she began, dropping to sit next to me on the sofa. “It’s a cell phone video of the hallway when Mr. Austin’s things were stolen. The student didn’t realize until today that he’d inadvertently taped someone putting the items in your locker. He showed it to Mr. Burton.”
It took a second for her words to sink in. When they did it was with a thud in the bottom of my stomach, a weird combination of relief and uncertainty. “So I’ve been cleared?”
She nodded. “The administration met together after school. Your punishment has been revoked, of course.” She sat down next to me. “Zoe, I’m so sorry. I wanted to believe you. I just didn’t know what to think.”
“Save it Mom.” I shook my head to stop her from continuing. “I know I’ve been a real pill for a while, but I was making an effort. It would’ve been nice to have the benefit of the doubt from someone.”
Thankfully, she didn’t respond. There was just no way I could have a conversation with her right now. My brain was still processing the fact that I was off the hook, and wondering who in the world had managed to get a cell phone video. True, the hall had been crowded, but most kids had been barreling toward the cafeteria. Of course, I’d been busy dealing with Courtney and her unceremonious stop at my locker, so it’s not like I would’ve noticed.
But I had noticed Adrian at the end of the hallway.
Adrian.
And just like that I knew what I needed to do.
“Mom, can I please have my car keys?” I figured she might feel bad enough about not believing me that she’d hand them over, at least temporarily. “Just for tonight. I’ll give them back. I just need to clear my head.”
I could tell she struggled with the idea, but even she had to admit that this latest blunder had not been mine.
Without a word, she walked to the kitchen, returning seconds later with my keys. And my cell phone.
“I ate junk food all day, so I’m not hungry. But I won’t be out late. I promise.” I thought it would be a good idea to play nice.
She took a deep breath. “Okay.”
I headed for the door.
My hand was on the doorknob when her voice stopped me.
“Zoe,” she said, and I paused and turned around. “I love you. I realize it’s been far too long since I said that.”
Emotion clogged my throat, and though I’d spent the better part of the day completely pissed at her for doubting me, I couldn’t help but smile.
Chapter 19
Adrian’s bike stood, gleaming black in the late afternoon sun, pulled to the gravel shoulder near the creek. I managed to park my car and turn off the ignition, though in my haze of urgency I didn’t remember either.
When I hit the clearing he was there. I wasn’t surprised. Nothing about him surprised me anymore.
The wind moved quietly around me, lifting my hair from my shoulders, comforting and peaceful. Even then I knew the feelings weren’t just from the pleasant breeze.
The blanket was already spread beneath the tree, two Twix candy bars and two cans of ginger ale in the middle of it. The sight of the chocolate might’ve been enough to make me groan after all I’d eaten during the day, were it not for the obvious fact.
He was waiting for me.
If I’d needed another bit of confirmation that Adrian was more than met the eye, finding him here was it.
“You knew I’d come here.” It wasn’t a question.
“I had a hunch.” He shrugged his shoulders and leaned his head toward the blanket. “Come sit?”
It seemed as good a place as any to have this conversation, so I walked over and sat, not next to him this time, but across. A large part of me wanted to snuggle up beside him, the same way I had the last time we sat here, but I reminded myself I’d decided alone was the best way to go.
And there was the matter of all the questions I had.
“Mr. Burton called earlier,” I said, reaching for a ginger ale. The top popped with a satisfying fizz. “Told my mom about the video.”
He just nodded, opening his own drink.
“I know it was you.”
He smiled, lifting a shoulder in nonchalance.
“First of all, thank you,” I whispered.
“You’re welcome.”
“Second of all, there’s no way you could’ve made that video.” I looked directly at him, searching his eyes for any hint of explanation. “You weren’t at that end of the hall. You were in the lobby. I saw you.”
He didn’t say anything, just looked at me with raised eyebrows.
“Did someone else video it and give it to you.”
He shook his head. “I did it.”
“How?” I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper. Sitting my drink to the side, I scooted closer, the fabric of the blanket soft beneath my legs. He hadn’t denied being in the lobby, but he insisted he’d been the one to shoot the cell phone video.
“How do you think I did it?” He scooted closer too and leaned down so we were eye to eye.
And here it was. The moment of truth.
“I think you’re something other than human.” The words left my mouth in one big rush, like if I’d hesitated in the least they would never have been voiced. I could not believe I’d just said that out loud. But how else could I describe all the things that were unexplained about Adrian and his presence in my life?
He said nothing, but the slight smile on his face and the light in his eyes told me to keep going. Naturally, he would make me pick every last detail out of him.
“The morning after the car wreck,” I whispered, halfway afraid of what his answer would be. “Were you in my bedroom, sitting on my bean bag?”
“Yes.” His answer was simple and swift.
Holy cow. Even though I’d known, shock zinged through me at his affirmation.
“The night I dreamed about seeing my dad at the cemetery?”
“I was there that night too. And yesterday, when you saw your dad in the bathroom at school.”
I couldn’t keep up with the spinning in my mind. How could he have known about either of those things?
Remembering the night of the car accident and those arms around me, I asked, “After the car wreck, did you get me out of the car?”
He smiled, nodded. “Yes. I took you home.”
“What are you, Adrian?” My mind spun with possibilities. The more questions he answered the more I wanted to ask, and yet it seemed so silly to put words to my suspicions. I dropped my eyes to the blanket. “Some kind of superhero? An angel?”
“Not really an angel, but there are some similarities. Angels are supernatural beings. I’m human. Just like you, but with a few… extras.”
“That doesn’t really tell me what you are.” The creek trickled softly in the background, its timbre calm and serene, and I smiled despite the crazy nature of this conversation.
“We’re called Messengers.”
“We?” Of course there would be more.
He nodded. “It’s not really an official title, but I guess over the years that’s just how we’ve come to think of ourselves. The best way to describe it is that we’re a sub-species of humans. We were created to assist in certain situations.”
Assist. Sounded like a basketball play, instead of something so huge it re-shaped your reality.
“Are you immortal?” I could not believe that just came out of my mouth.
He shook his head.
“But you have extras?”
“Yes.”
“When I saw you in my bedroom – both times – you were there one minute, then I blinked and you were gone. Can you make yourself invisible?”
He nodded, and my reality shifted even more. A wick
ed little smile tugged at his lips, like he was enjoying watching me figure it all out.
“My Pre-Cal book? The first day we met. Did you do that?”
“Yes.”
His one-word answers, while truthful, were becoming annoying. “What, you used your superpowers of invisibility to return the book to my locker?”
Adrian promptly cracked up. “When you put it like that it sounds like something out of a comic book,” he said between bursts of laughter. “But yeah, something like that.”
“Can you fly faster than a speeding bullet?” I asked. “Is that how you got the book from my house and put it back in my locker?”
“No.” He shook his head. “We don’t fly. But…”
He paused for dramatic effect, and it worked. I felt like a kid being told a bedtime story, waiting to see what happened next.
“What?”
He opened his candy bar, offering one of the pieces to me, and said, “We can teleport.”
“No way!”
Holy freaking cow! My mind spun like a tilt-a-whirl at the county fair.
“Not with any loud noise or huge gust of wind or anything you might see in a sci-fi movie. It’s more like we just will ourselves to a different place. Comes in handy when we’re on assignment.”
“Assignment?”
“The Boss,” he said, pointing his index finger up toward the sky, “assigns us to certain people or situations, to help things work out in the best possible way.”
And just like that, the wonder of all that Adrian was became a weight in the center of my chest as I realized the why of his presence in my life.
“I’m your assignment.”
There was some comfort in the fact that the Boss, as Adrian referred to Him, had taken such an interest in my situation, but knowing that I was an assignment to Adrian cut deep.
“Yes,” he said, tentatively reaching for one of my hands. When I didn’t pull away, he grasped my fingers and continued. “But not just an assignment.”
“I bet you say that to all the girls.” Cliché, I knew, but it was the best I could do to make light in this situation that, despite my efforts to push him away, was breaking my heart.
I didn’t want to be his assignment.
“Zoe, do you remember when I told you that I was happy?”
I nodded. I’d never forget that moment. Ever.
“Do you remember that I said I didn’t expect to be happy? That I thought coming here was just something else I had to do?”
“I remember.”
“I meant that,” he said, squeezing my hand again. “I’m happy. With you.”
I didn’t even remember what happiness felt like anymore, but I figured what I felt with Adrian was something pretty close. But there was still the matter of the huge mess my life was in, the fact that I had yet to truly forgive my father, and the many, many questions I still had for Adrian.
Since I could do nothing about the mess or forgiveness at the moment, I decided to keep going with the questions.
“Why did you rescue me from the car wreck,” I asked. “Why not just let me get arrested with Nikki and Courtney and learn my lesson the hard way.”
“I think you did learn your lesson the hard way,” he said. “If you’d gone to jail with them, it would’ve only tied you to them even deeper. You’d have had a common problem, a common goal, and what you needed was a reason to leave them in the dust.”
“It worked,” I admitted.
Dusk began to settle around us, cloaking the clearing with the shadows of the trees that surrounded us. Through the trees the sky began to blush an opaque pink color as the sun started its descent. I had always loved dusk. I’d always thought of it as the time of day when heaven was closest to earth, when the sun met the horizon and the sky glowed with color.
I couldn’t help but think it fitting to be here with Adrian, at this precise moment.
“I’ve never told anyone what I am.” He shifted the conversation, as if somehow sensing the overwhelming feelings bubbling inside of me. “Neither has my dad. Well, except for my mom. I never imagined telling anyone the truth about myself, so this is uncharted territory for me.”
“Are you not supposed to tell anyone?” I asked, worried that he might get into some kind of trouble for telling me.
“There’s not like a vow of secrecy or anything, but our purpose is to help the people we’re assigned to, and when we’re on assignment it’s easier to succeed if no one knows we’re there working behind the scenes. I doubt we’d be very effective if the whole world knew we existed. I guess I’m afraid that revealing myself will compromise my assignment.”
“Is there some kind of punishment if you don’t succeed?”
“The Boss is pretty forgiving.” He smiled, squeezing my hand. “But if I fail here, with you, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”
“What exactly is your assignment?”
“To help you forgive your father, and yourself.” He scooted close enough that our knees touched. “So that your life can go on.”
“I haven’t been very accommodating, have I?” It dawned on me just how much he’d sacrificed to come here, to help a girl he’d never met. He lived a life that revolved around serving and helping other people. And so far I’d done precious little to make his job easy.
“You’ve made progress,” he said with a smile. “This is my first solo assignment. Until now I’ve worked with my dad, so I’ve seen the whole gamut of situations.”
The sun dipped lower, lighting the sky in a bright orange. The sunset reminded me that I’d promised my mom I would be home early.
“As much as I don’t want to, I’ve got to head home before long,” I said. “Mom reluctantly let me drive my car, and I know I’m still on thin ice with her, so I can’t be late.”
“Okay.” He touched my cheek, the gesture sweet and reassuring. “I’m glad we talked. Glad you know the truth about me, awkward as it is.”
“Before I go, I have to know how you made that video.”
His eyes dropped, and he shoved one hand through his hair. Clearly he was uncomfortable with the subject.
“Please,” I asked. “I’m really really grateful, but I need to know how you did it.”
“There are other abilities,” he began. “Things I haven’t told you about yet.”
I pressed on. “And they helped you record a video you were in no position to record how?”
“I can manipulate time. Revisit places, events.”
Already on overload, my brain threatened to explode or shut down completely. “You mean time travel?” I barely choked out the words.
“Not exactly,” he said. “I can’t go back and be a part of a previous time. I can go back and observe, but not interact.”
“So no one would be able to see you?”
“Right.”
“You jumped back to that moment didn’t you?” Finally the pieces began to fit. “You went back and watched Nikki steal that stuff out of Mr. Austin’s room and then stow it in my locker.”
“I could see you from the lobby, and I knew Courtney was at your locker. I was worried about you. I could see beyond her a bit, and it was obvious she was trying to block your view of whatever was going on. I caught a glimpse of Nikki coming out of Mr. Austin’s room. I knew they were up to something but I wasn’t sure what. When I heard later that you’d been suspended for stealing something from Mr. Austin, I realized what they’d done.”
“And you went back to watch,” I breathed, pretty much in awe of what he’d done for me. “That’s when you recorded that video.”
He nodded.
“Thank you,” I said. “Again.”
“Revisiting is not a skill we’re supposed to throw around frivolously. It’s only supposed to come into play when it will benefit the assignment. Using it for personal gain or for entertainment, well, it doesn’t look good on the resume.”
“But this wasn’t for your personal gain,” I said. “You didn’t do it for yourself.
You did it for me.”
“Everything I do for you is also for myself,” he replied. “Feeling the way I do about you, everything I do to help you benefits us and what’s between us. I’m still trying to decide if revisiting that moment was for the good of this assignment or just because I was so pissed at the two of them for framing you.”
“I think it was probably both.” I reached for his hands, which were clenched into tight fists on his knees, forcing his fingers to relax as they curled around mine. “Being accused and punished for something I didn’t do was going to push me over the edge. I was already totally freaked out about Courtney’s mom and my dad. Then Viv got mad at me, and it was like everything was falling down on top of me. This morning I didn’t care what happened. In my mind, my life was ruined. And now I have hope again.”
I made sure his eyes were on mine when I finished. “Because of what you did.”
I kissed him then, as much for myself and my own desires as for guaranteeing him that he’d done the right thing for the right reasons. He’d not only rescued me, he’d done it thinking there might well be consequences for his actions. He’d risked for me.
His hand came against my cheek, the gentleness almost breath-taking. We lingered there a moment longer, both of us reluctant to move.
When he pulled back, it was only a breath. “When you’re ready, I can take you back. You can revisit moments in the past that might make a difference. Things that you didn’t see when it was all going down.”
“You mean see my dad again?” The thought that that was even possible made my head swim.
“When you’re ready,” he repeated.
My heart raced with the yearning to say right now. The thought of seeing my dad again, of maybe finding some sort of closure, dangled in front of me like some kind of drug that was necessary for my survival. But the sun was even lower in the sky and I knew I needed to get home.
And I knew I needed time to digest everything I’d learned tonight and all that was now possible.
Adrian was right… when I was ready.
Chapter 20
Lying in bed later that night, I realized I felt more at peace than I had since before my parents separated and my family imploded. The talk with Adrian had been therapeutic, not only because I finally knew the truth about him, but because I’d given voice to the fact that I had hope again.