by Raye Morgan
He appeared pained. “See, Sara, you don’t understand how things work in places like that. There is no official authority taking care of civil rules and regulations. Everyone’s being paid off by someone. The only rule is the rule of gold. Rich people get their way, the others scrabble to stay alive. Regular Joes don’t have a chance.”
“But then why...?”
“Unless they get together and form a unit, like the guys and I are planning to do.”
She shook her head. Tears flooded her eyes. “Jake, you said it felt like you’d stepped into civilized behavior by moving in here. Can’t you understand that part of civilized behavior is having an authority force that can keep the order and make sure bad things don’t happen? When people take the law into their own hands, society falls apart.”
He nodded solemnly. “I hear your words and I understand what you’re saying. I even agree with what you’re saying.” His gaze rose to meet hers. “But then I come back to what my heart tells me to do, and my heart says, go.” He shrugged as though he knew there was no way he could make her understand.
“These are my friends, my fellow soldiers, and I owe them my allegiance. Some of my buddies are still in that prison camp. We can’t leave them there. We have to rescue them.”
She took a shuddering breath and dropped his hand, pulling away. “If you go, if you do this thing, I’ll never forgive you.”
He watched her. He saw the fire in her eyes and he knew the threat behind it. A dark, burning anger simmered in him that she would be thinking that way, but he knew that she was—and he thought he had some idea why. After all, marrying him hadn’t been her first choice.
He knew what he was risking. He’d wondered about it ever since he’d heard about the three-month grace period during which Sara could file a complaint against him. She’d wanted Savannah all for herself from the beginning. If she could get Savannah without him attached, she would probably like it better that way, even now.
“What are you going to do, Sara? File a grievance with the agency? File a lawsuit to get me disqualified?”
She stared at him, stung that he would think such a thing, but she didn’t answer.
Suddenly his eyes filled with fury. “So that’s it. You’ve been hoping for something like this, haven’t you?” He rose and started to leave the room. “Well, here you go. Have at it. See you in court.” And he was gone.
Sara sat in shock. How had it come to this? How could he think that she was just waiting for an excuse to catch him out? Didn’t he understand how she felt about him?
Obviously not.
He barely looked at her the next day and didn’t speak to her at all. She was in misery, but she didn’t know how to approach him. She couldn’t weaken on the trip. She couldn’t give him her permission to go. And yet, what did she have if he left this way? She had to find a way to talk him out of it.
She found out where Starman was staying. Leaving Savannah with Jill, she took the ferry to the mainland and found the rented room, knocking on the door. A very surprised and startled Starman opened it to her, and she surprised him even more by insisting she wanted to come in.
“I have to talk to you,” she told him. “I know about the mission you guys are planning to the prison camp.”
Starman scowled. “Jake shouldn’t have told you about that.”
“You’re the one who gave me the alert,” she noted. “And I’ve talked to Jake. And now I want to ask a favor of you. Please, please convince him that he can’t go.”
He looked shocked at the thought. “But, Sara, he’s our best man. Without him, the entire mission will fail.”
“No, it won’t.” She wished she knew how to be more persuasive. “You can keep it on an even keel. You’ve been his right hand man all along. You can do it.”
Starman thought for a minute, then nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “I can do it. But do I want to do it without Jake?”
“I don’t know. Do you?”
“No.” He scowled at her. “No, I don’t.” He glared at her for a moment, then added grudgingly, “But I will.”
She nodded, smiling in relief. “Good. Because, Starman, you know he’s done it before. He’s done his part. He’s never shirked, has he? It’s just that his circumstances have changed. He can’t go do this sort of thing anymore.”
Starman didn’t look happy about it. “I guess you’re right.”
“Yes. Now here’s the hard part. You have to talk him out of going.”
He frowned, shaking his head. “But I just talked him into going.”
She shrugged, tugging nervously on the buttons of her sweater, one after another. “Tell him you’ve changed your mind.”
He looked confused. “But I haven’t.”
“No. But I have. I don’t want him to go.”
“Oh. Right.”
“He’s got a baby now. He’s got me. He can’t act like a footloose adventurer. He needs to be here, building a life, building a business, finding ways to make this all work. The prison camp should be in his past, not his future. Can’t you explain that to him?”
“Sure.” He straightened his shoulders and looked tough. “I can do that.” He wavered for a moment. “Doesn’t mean he’ll listen.”
“I know. But you can try.”
He nodded, looking emotional. “You know I’d do just about anything for you and that little girl. Okay. I’ll try.”
And he did.
But it didn’t do any good. Jake came to her right away to tell her that Starman had failed.
“Listen, Sara,” he said, holding her hand. He didn’t want to get into a fight if he could help it. “I know you mean well, but you can’t get to me through my friends. It won’t work.”
She shrugged, searching his beautiful face, wishing she knew the right words. “I had to try,” she said softly. “Oh, Jake, I’m so scared.”
He looked at her in surprise. Her eyes were huge and filling with tears. He wanted to pull her close, but he hesitated.
“I wish I could make you understand,” he said. “It’s a matter of honor. It’s a matter of loyalty and camaraderie. They need me. I’m there for them if I possibly can be. I owe them that. We’ve got to go. We’ve all got to go. We’ve got to make those bastards pay for what they did to us and rescue those we left behind.”
She shook her head, tears coming fast. “I think I do understand. Being a rescuer is part of who you are, and you don’t want to lose that part of your identity. But, Jake—you have a new role now. You’re a father. And for the next few years, that has to come first.”
She was right, and yet... He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t turn his back on his friends. He reached down to kiss her and her arms came around his neck, pulling tightly.
A shiver went through him. He realized that he was risking more than losing Savannah. He was risking losing Sara, too, and that was becoming more and more important to him. For just a moment, he wavered.
* * *
But Jake left on Monday, just as he’d planned. She was still totally against it and she didn’t let up, but she kissed him goodbye and wished him luck, and then stood with Savannah in her arms as he drove off toward the ferry. He looked back and saw her and everything in him wanted to turn around and go back. But he couldn’t do that.
Sara went on, living the next few days just the way she had been doing for the last two months. But she felt like a robot. No emotion. No joy. Everything she did was under a cloud of doom. She was sure something terrible was going to happen.
Mrs. Truesdale called to check on how things were going and Sara tried to put on a calm front. Unfortunately the woman saw right through it.
“All right, Sara. Tell me what’s happened. I can tell there’s a problem. Let me help.”
There was no way Sara was going to tell her where Jake was or what he was doing, but she couldn’t hide the unhappiness, no matter how cheerful she tried to appear.
Mrs. Truesdale could smell out dissension in the ranks. “My
dear, whatever it is you’re going through, believe me, I’m on your side. We’ve been through a lot together in getting this situation squared away, and I was so sorry things seemed to be ruined when Jake appeared out of nowhere. I made sure you two had the grace period in your contract, just in case. And if you find that you need to exercise that clause, you call me right away. I’ll do all I can for you.”
“Oh, but there’s really nothing wrong....”
“Just remember, you have a duty to that little girl. You are the gatekeeper for her future welfare. If you feel something is going awry, you must take action.”
Sara hung up the phone feeling worse than before she’d talked to the woman. Jake had accused her of wanting to use the grace period clause when he’d been angry with her, but she’d never even imagined doing such a thing. No. Jake was Savannah’s father. She couldn’t take that away from her—or him. Jake was who he was, and no matter how angry she got with him, she would never betray him. Didn’t he know that?
She packed Savannah up and headed for Jill’s house, hoping to get some reassurance and moral support, but Jill was in a frenzy over a last minute order for her Bundt cakes and Sara kept her misery to herself. Jill had enough to contend with.
She took her baby home and watched her play as she fixed her dinner. She watched the international news, in case there was anything on about the Pacific area, but nothing out of the ordinary seemed to be happening. She turned off the TV and started to gather the plates. For just a second, she happened to look up, and there was Savannah, taking her first step.
She clamped her hands over her mouth to stop the scream that wanted to alert the world, and then she laughed and ran to her girl, helping her back up when she fell, and coaxing her to do it again.
“Wow,” she said. “Barely more than ten months and a half and you’re walking! If only...” Her voice choked and tears filled her eyes. Jake should have been there to see this. How could he miss a milestone like this? It wasn’t right.
Suddenly she was angry. Her tears melted away. What good were they, anyway? This was all Jake’s doing and he was paying the price.
But so was Savannah! It wasn’t fair. Her daddy ought to be there for her special achievements. It made her so angry that he’d voluntarily walked out on that.
She put Savannah down for the night and then went out to sit in the living room. She left the lamp off so she could see the lights across the bay. Should she consider doing what Mrs. Truesdale obviously thought she should—file a complaint against Jake? Did Savannah deserve it? Did Jake?
She wasn’t sure. She didn’t want to. But if he was off doing what he felt was his duty, maybe she ought to be doing the same. She looked at her phone and tried to decide. She knew she could call Mrs. Truesdale’s number and get her answering machine. All it would take was a couple of words, and the gears would begin to grind.
Was she really that angry with Jake?
She closed her eyes. She couldn’t do it. With a sigh, she got up and went to bed.
* * *
It must have been about three in the morning when she woke up and realized there was a man in her room. She wanted to scream but he was already sliding onto the bed to sit beside her. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear.
“It’s me, Sara. It’s Jake.”
She gasped, trying to shake the cobwebs from her sleepy brain. “What?” she said, then lowered her voice, thinking of Savannah. “Jake! How did you get here?”
“I flew into Seattle a few hours ago. I didn’t want to call and wake you up.”
“Jake...” She reached for him. “Oh, Jake. You’re safe. You’re back.” Clinging to him, she burst into sobs.
He held her, but his voice was full of surprise. “Sara, what’s the matter? Are you okay?”
She sobbed harder, rocking the bed with it.
“Why are you crying? There isn’t anything wrong with Savannah, is there?”
She shook her head. Finally she managed to get a word out.
“Oh, Jake, you didn’t die.”
He thought about that for a few seconds, then asked, incredulous, “Do you really care that much?”
She only pressed against him harder, her face buried in his chest, her fingers clutching at his muscular arms. He was back. Those words kept echoing in her head. He was back. He wasn’t out in a jungle waiting to be killed. The relief she felt proved how utterly shell-shocked she’d been by his going.
He stroked her hair and murmured sweet words and finally she pulled back, hiccupped and sniffed deeply. “You jerk!” she cried at him. “You claim to know all about the nuances of women’s emotions. Hah!”
He looked bewildered. “When did I ever claim that?”
“Numerous times.” She sniffed again, feeling around for a handkerchief. He provided one. “If you’re so good at it, how come you can’t even tell if your own wife loves you? Huh?”
He drew back, astonished. “Seriously?”
“You!” She threw a pillow at him. “Yes, seriously. I completely love you and you...you...”
“Wow.” He stared at her in wonder. “Who knew?”
“Anyone with half a brain,” she muttered, using the handkerchief and handing it back. Then she stared at him in the darkness. “Is it over? Did you do what you went to do?”
He pulled her back into his arms. “No. I only made it as far as Hawaii. We met there and I decided to come home.”
Home. It had a good sound. So he considered this place home, did he? She felt a glow beginning in her heart.
“And the others?”
“They went on. They’re prepared and well-equipped. And I decided I had more important things to do at home.”
That word again! It was like gold to her.
“I talked to Starman. He set me straight. Sort of slapped me around and told me to wake up.” He grinned. “Figuratively speaking, of course.”
“Of course.”
“I’ve been on these missions before. I’m usually one of the ones saying we’ve got to do it. But there was something missing. I began to realize it wasn’t fair to you, or to Savannah. And that was when I decided I could use money instead of flesh and blood. The more money they have, the less chance something will go horribly wrong.”
“Oh.” She tried to understand, but her mind was fuzzy. She only knew that he was here with her and not over there and that was all that mattered right now.
“Well, nowadays, I’ve got money,” he reminded her. “I can do my part that way, funding the guys and making sure they have all the supplies they need. Giving them a little bribe money to grease a few palms and make sure they don’t get held up for ransom. Things like that.”
“A financial backer,” she said sleepily. “A philanthropist.”
“Maybe. I was torn, Sara. But now I’m not. I know what is most important to me. It’s you, you and Savannah. It’s home. That’s where I have to be.”
She sighed with happiness, stretching next to him. He kissed her mouth and she sighed again.
“I love you, Sara,” he said, his voice husky with emotion. “I realized that while I was in Hawaii, missing you and your warm smile. I love you like I never thought I could love a woman. You taught me how.”
“I feel the same way,” she said with a sigh. “I was never going to love a man, and then there was you.”
His kiss was deep and hot and had all the sparkle she would ever need.
“How’s Savannah?” he asked her, pulling back to look at her in the golden lamplight. “I stopped in and looked at her on my way here. She was sleeping like a rock.”
She smiled, then giggled as she remembered their baby taking her first steps. “She’s fine. She’s going to have a surprise for you in the morning.”
“Is she?” There was a smile in his voice, too. “I can hardly wait.”
“Me, too.” She turned to face him. His hand slipped beneath the straps on her nightgown. “How about you, Sara?” he asked softly. “Do you have a surprise for me?”
Her pulse began a wild race through her entire system. She caught her breath at his touch. “Yes, Jake. Yes, I do.”
She reached up to kiss him again, but only for a moment. He began to unbutton his shirt and pull it off, then went to his belt.
“Are you inviting me into your bed?” he asked her softly.
“I’m inviting you into our bed.”
“That is an offer I would be a fool to refuse,” he said as he came to her.
She laughed and turned in his arms, letting him pull her nightgown off and then pressing herself against his naked body. She’d never felt anything more exciting. Her breasts against his hard, rounded muscles, her skin against his smoothness, his mouth on hers—this was what she’d been waiting for ever since their wedding. She lost herself in his heat and closed her eyes, living for the moment.
He was home.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from Little Cowgirl on His Doorstep by Donna Alward
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CHAPTER ONE
HE HAS A face that could frighten small children.
That was the first thing that sprang to Avery Spencer’s mind as she stared up at the imposing figure of Callum Shepard. With his stubbled face and long tangle of hair, he didn’t look anything like the clean-cut, charismatic groomsman she’d met just over a year ago. And definitely not the image of a doting dad, she thought with dismay. He stood with feet spread wide, one broad hand splayed on the edge of the door, glowering down at her like she’d committed a cardinal sin.