He opened his mouth but closed it again. He shook his head. “No plans yet. Just thinking out loud.”
“I want to help.”
“I know, Cara, and you do help. But I want you to have fun this summer. If that’s with Mom, then great. Give me some time to think.”
“Last time I did that, I next heard from you at Christmas, and that was only because we were in the same house for the holidays. And you didn’t exactly say anything then either. Your mouth was sealed shut.” Like now. Jason’s mouth formed a hard line. “Are we dating or not?” She meant it as a softball question, but he didn’t answer right away. Oh God, were they going through this incommunicado thing again?
He dropped his gaze to the table.
“Jason?”
He met her gaze, his eyes green and clear. “Yes, Cara. Of course we are. I’m just…I have some things to think through with Mom.”
“Let me help.”
“Okay. I will.”
Cara’s hands were shaking, but with relief. “You scared me.”
“I don’t want to do that. I’m a little scared myself. You’re mixed up in this thing, and it isn’t what I wanted.”
He must have thought about this a lot, what they were doing. “What did you want?”
“To create a new relationship with you over the summer.”
The heart palpitations calmed. Even her hands stopped shaking. “Me too. I mean, not originally. But now.”
“But there are problems.”
She tensed. “Okay, now you’re scaring me again.”
“I want you to get your degree. I don’t want to distract you from your goal.”
“And I will. I’ll-I’ll go back to my original presentation and just do it over.”
He frowned. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”
“I need to muscle through it.”
“And move to Chicago.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know what else to do.”
“I think you should go through with it.”
Fear knotted in her stomach. Pressing her hands over her abdomen didn’t help. “What are you saying? My head is spinning.”
“I want you to fulfill your goals, Cara. I’m saying I support you.”
But Chicago will take me away from you, Cara wanted to wail. “Jason, what you’re saying is, well it’s just like what you said in high school. I have to go my own way. I thought you wanted to try our relationship again. I’m confused.”
“Neither of us has had enough sleep.” He shoved back his chair and came around the table, pulling her up and into his arms. His embrace was so strong and reassuring. Why couldn’t she stay pressed against his chest, forever? “Let’s just do what’s right in front of us. For me, I need to figure out a way to get Mom to specialists. For you, you need to finish up your degree. Start your job. You don’t have to stay there forever. But it will give you time to sort things out.”
She was making his T-shirt damp.
“Don’t cry, sweetie. It will be okay.” His strong hands smoothed her hair, warmed her. “Why don’t you go on home now and get some rest?”
What Jason was saying was logical. So why did this feel so much like the other time? They’d never been able to get their balance again, and once more he was sending her on her way.
His hand was warm in the small of her back as he guided her to the door. “Go home. Sleep. We’ll talk later. Okay? We still have three months. We’ll sort something out.”
****
Cara told Mama she was taking a nap and went into her bedroom where she sat on her bed, back against the headboard, tablet propped on her legs. Blanca had been gone for a week. Her side of their room was neat and…empty. A pang entered Cara’s heart. You’ll see her at the Fourth of July festival, she told herself. She opened her email to check it before her nap.
Her primary email folder displayed six new messages in bold. Three of them made her heart skip a beat. Professor Ortiz, Frank Elnos—her future boss at KMS—and Professor Ortiz again. She clicked on them in the order received.
Hello Cara, An urgent matter has come up at KMS. They want you to start immediately and contacted me about accelerating your graduation. I’m going to check with the panel. Since this happened so soon, many of them are still around. My colleagues haven’t all left for their vacations.
Cara swung her feet onto the floor then clicked on the next message.
Hello Cara, An employee in our department had an accident. We need you to start right away. Please contact me immediately.
Cara’s heart raced. She needed rest before she dealt with this, but everything sounded urgent. The emails had come in yesterday afternoon when she was already off to Bar Harbor to organize the outing for the residents. She hadn’t checked her email before collapsing in bed last night. Not such a crime since, after all, she was on vacation. So much for a summer of relaxation and recovery. Jason’s words replayed, we still have three months…
The next message from Professor Ortiz explained that he had organized the retake of her presentation to occur this Wednesday if she could get on an airplane. He asked her to call right away, which she did.
Despite the fact she dreaded what he had to say, his familiar cultured voice brought back good memories. He was a kind man, even when he had to tell her she flunked. “Hello, Cara. How has your summer been going? I’m sorry about this, but I hope you had some time to relax.”
“I’m fine, Professor Ortiz. Thank you so much for organizing the retake of the examination so quickly. Yes, of course I’ll be there.” She’d have to book an expensive flight at the last-minute. The ticket would mean owing even more money to Maya. Money she could pay back only if she had a high-paying job. And as for her idea for a new presentation, that was scuttled. She’d have to go with what she had before, even though her heart wasn’t in the venture capital matching idea. She just hoped she could convince the panel she had a sound business plan. Even though she would never implement the idea because she was going into consulting, she had to feign enthusiasm. Her future job in Chicago was old school, not snazzy new-economy work. But it would pay the bills.
“I thought you were napping,” Mama said, a few minutes later, looking up from a large orange, red, and blue display dish she was wiping clean.
“I’ll need coffee instead.” Cara set her tablet on the counter. “I have to make plane reservations. I have to deliver my presentation on Wednesday.”
Mama gazed at Cara over the rim of the dish, her brow wrinkled. “In California?”
Cara tapped on the web-browser icon. “Yes. I have to do it live.”
Mama’s lips pursed.
Shrinking inside, Cara said, “I’ll have to ask Maya for her credit card.”
“She won’t mind.”
But I mind! Cara wanted to shout. She released a breath. “Maya’s a saint. I can’t wait to pay her back every penny.” That goal would require Cara to go far away from everyone she loved. The thought was a stab to the heart.
Cara had a lead weight on her shoulders, but she willed herself to focus on the plane tickets. She had to go through with it; there was no other way. She lacked funding for an assisted-living facility in Lobster Cove. She wasn’t sure the idea would solve her problems anyway. The plan was just a dream. One that would require not only a huge amount of funding but expertise she clearly lacked.
She was going to do what Jason said. “Let’s just do what’s right in front of us, Cara.”
****
Jason settled Mom in her recliner, thinking about the appointment with Dr. Willson that morning. Mom was doing well, but the doctor said the attacks might be early warning of weakening muscles in the chest and abdomen, muscles needed for proper breathing. He thought Mom was indeed getting weaker. Physical therapy would make a huge difference. He also recommended a psychologist specializing in issues for people living with life-threatening illness. They didn’t have those resources in Lobster Cove, unfortunately. Not even in Bar Harbor. Boston would have t
hem, of course.
He headed outside to do yard work. A good sweat and getting some kind of result for his efforts would help.
Jason stopped and wiped his brow with the back of his wrist and nearly dropped the shovel. Cara was looking out through the sliding-glass door, her luminous dark eyes glowing in the light tan oval of her face. The door slid open.
The minute she walked down the ramp to the patio, he knew something was wrong. Her face was serious, her pace slow. He leaned the shovel against the back of the garage and met her partway across the grass. She stepped into his waiting arms. He held her close, patting her back, hoping his clenching gut wasn’t something she could feel. “What’s wrong?”
“I have to go back to give my presentation, and I have to start my job in Chicago immediately.”
Jason did the last thing he wanted to do, let go of Cara, and struggled to regain his balance. On top of everything else, Cara was leaving.
So much for having this summer to sort things out, to date like a normal couple. To try to get back to being a normal couple.
Jason clenched his jaw, fighting for control. He couldn’t let his feelings show. He had nothing to offer Cara at the moment. He needed to figure out what to do with his mother and what to do for a living. And she needed to make a living as well. He couldn’t help Cara with that right now, much as he wanted to. She had student loans to repay and ambitions to fulfill.
“I guess that’s it then.” His mouth was like sandpaper.
She looked up at him, her eyes misty. “Jason, I’m going to do what you said. Do what’s right in front of me—take that job for a while. It will buy me time to consider a different plan for the future. Meanwhile it allows me to get the money together to repay Maya.”
“That’ll take years.” Stop putting a spin on the ball. Facts were facts. Cara needed to go. He needed to stay.
The tears cleared from Cara’s eyes. She stared at him. “Jason, let’s have a long-distance relationship.”
His heart damn near jumped out of his chest. “We’ll give it a try, Cara.” But his jaw clenched, because his heart, which a moment before had leaped, was now twisting in his chest. How was he supposed to build anything with Cara when he couldn’t even be with her? All they were doing was delaying the inevitable. Well…he heaved a sigh. Sometimes denial could be a very good thing. He needed a dose of it right now. “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Hanging out with you?”
He grinned. “How ’bout spending the night with me?” At her nod, Jason’s heart…and other parts, stirred. “I’ll pick you up at eight. Come packed and ready to go to the airport.”
Her pretty brown brows arched. “Here?” She nodded her head toward the house.
He chuckled. “There are such things as hotels.”
The grin that split her face lifted his heart and left it high. “Okay, eight o’clock it is.”
Chapter Nine
Mama cradled Cara’s face, stood on her toes, and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. With her thumb she stroked a tear from Cara’s cheekbone. “Don’t cry. I’m thrilled you’re going with Jason tonight. You two need to have some space to yourselves. He came up with a very good plan, I think.”
Cara sniffed, regaining only partial control of her emotions. “Oh, Mama. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if we can manage a long-distance relationship.”
Mama patted Cara’s cheeks with her warm calloused palms. “Love will find a way.”
The porch door slamming was followed by tapping. Cara pushed the curtain aside, and smiled at Jason, who looked totally gorgeous. A lock of his hair, which was getting long, curled over his forehead, making him look rakish.
He greeted Mama, then carried her bags and lifted them into the back of his truck. He helped her into the passenger side. As they headed down the road to Lobster Cove, she asked what his mom was doing that night.
“I have a caregiver staying with her tonight.”
“How did the consultation with Dr. Willson go?”
“Okay. There’s not a lot of new information. I mean, I did guess right. It would be good for her to get this special physical therapy. Plus counseling. Neither of which she has access to here.”
Fighting the snake of fear uncoiling in her belly, Cara reminded herself this was the stuff that Jason had to do, just like she had to go to Chicago. Let’s just do what’s right in front of us. “What are you going to do?”
He stared at the road. “I haven’t decided yet.”
Cara trained her gaze to the pavement stretching out before them. Fighting to keep tears from her voice, she said as little as possible to wrap up the topic. “Keep me posted?”
“Of course.”
“Where are we going tonight, by the way?” She hoped it wasn’t to the Sea Crest Inn. The Sea Crest was a beautiful place, but it held bad memories for her now.
He shot her a smile. “The Frenchman Bay Motel.”
“Oh, perfect!” Would she have to face Gigi at reception? Sometimes living in a small town could be…a little less than private.
The road leading to Frenchman Bay Motel wove through scattered trees and gray, black, and white freckled granite boulders. They passed the “Morgan Mausoleum,” as residents jokingly referred to the cold-style mansion on the bluffs, and emerged around a bend where they could see the town, the harbor and piers, and the whole bay. The light on the historic lighthouse on the bluff across the bay shone with homey appeal. She remembered their “date,” the fun dinner at Mariner’s and the romantic walk to the lighthouse. Soon she would be leaving all this and going where she didn’t belong, to do something she didn’t believe in, far from everyone she loved. Her heart squeezed so hard she could barely breathe.
Jason pulled to a stop in front of the Frenchman Bay Motel, a fresh looking and inviting white motel with kelly-green shutters.
“You stay here.” Jason slammed the truck door. He loped to the motel office like a runner trotting around the bases after a home run.
Cara was tempted to scrunch down in the car then laughed at herself for being so silly. At the same time, she kind of liked the illicit feeling of checking into a motel with Jason. Maybe she was a bit like Francie. Well of course she was! Francie had nurtured Cara’s fun side since she was eight, when Papá died. Even though Cara was as grief-stricken as her family, being a child, she needed to play and have some fun.
Jason reappeared from the office. His long stride ate the distance, and he jumped in the pickup.
“What did Gigi say?”
“She acted as though it was the most normal thing in the world for me to check into the hotel. Didn’t crack a smile. She even gave me the whole welcome spiel. As though I didn’t already know everything about the place.” Jason blinked a couple times. “Although in fact, I don’t know everything about the place, of course. I just meant since it’s been here forever I would know. But I don’t know more than everyone else in Lobster Cove. I mean, I’ve never been here…”
She slapped him on the shoulder. “Stop.”
His jaw muscles clenched as he started the engine. Cara sighed, then pushed the possibility that Jason had brought one of his women here out of her head. Of course he hadn’t. Sin and Sheila would have told her if he had dared.
Their room was on the end with a view of the bay. Jason carried their bags inside and opened his duffel bag, withdrawing two bottles of chilled summer-wheat ale, her favorite kind because it was light and sweet. He popped the tops and led her out to the Adirondack chairs on the deck.
They settled and held hands, watching the orange sky of sunset shimmer over the bay. The last of the fishermen bustled around Pier 1. The “official” lighthouse stood behind them, its sweeping beam cutting through the dusk. The night was starting to get chilly, but Cara was comfortable in her sweater.
The critters grew quiet, the last calls of birds sounding a bit desperate as though risk
ing one last communication before nightfall. The breeze carried the scent of the ocean and of the pine forests that clung to the rocky bluffs beyond the end of the street. A few cars passed, heading to The Cliffside restaurant at the end of the road.
Chicago was so far from all this. Cara’s heart already ached with homesickness even though she was right here where she wanted to be. Knowing this moment wouldn’t last was killing her. “I don’t even want to think about how much I’m going to miss this.”
“Then don’t.” His deep husky voice soothed her. As if reading her mind, Jason stood and tugged her against his chest. With his free hand, he grabbed the two bottles of beer and led her inside where he pulled her into his arms. His hands roamed over her back. His chest was strong against hers, and the rub of him made her ache. He nibbled lightly at her lips, teasing her with the slightest flick of his tongue. His hands came up around her temples. He lifted her hair, letting the strands run through his fingers. “If I could touch your hair like this every day—”
What? She wanted to ask him, but he had cut himself off for a reason. He didn’t want to put any demands on her. He wanted to enjoy the moment, and so did she. This moment was all they had.
She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled his mouth down to hers, tasting him, savoring the pressure of his strong lips, drinking in his spicy clean scent, cataloging all these sensations to carry her through the weeks and months ahead.
He undid the clasp on her locket and lifted the necklace, letting the silver chain slide through his fingers. “I’m glad you wore this.” He looked into her eyes, as though he didn’t want to rush over what her gesture meant to him.
“It says something that you gave it to me, you know, as does when you gave it to me. You were so young to be so sensitive.”
“Only later did I turn into a clod.” Normally she would have laughed at his self-deprecation, but he said it thoughtfully, his eyebrows drawing together and his gaze turning distant. Where had he gone?
“Jase?”
His focus returned to her. He stroked her cheek with the back of his finger, looking at her as though seeing her for the first time.
Third Strike's the Charm Page 11