by Bart King
The Big Book of Spy Stuff
Bart King
Illustrations by Russell Miller
The Big Book of Spy Stuff
Digital Edition v1.0
Text © 2011 Bart King
Illustrations © 2011 Russell Miller
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any means whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except brief portions quoted for purpose of review.
This book contains material that is interesting and entertaining. (At least, that’s what I like to tell myself.) But as it’s about espionage and other anti-social activities, remember that you assume all legal responsibility for all your actions. Please obey all laws and respect everyone else’s rights. And just to be clear, both the publisher and I are disclaiming any liability from your actions.
I have relied on my own experience as an intelligence agent as well as many different sources for this book, and I have done my best to check facts and to give credit where it is due. In the event that any material is incorrect or has been used without proper permission, please contact me care of the publisher so that it can be properly amended.
Gibbs Smith, Publisher
PO Box 667
Layton, UT 84041
Orders: 1.800.835.4993
www.gibbs-smith.com
ISBN: 978-1-4236-1875-1
To the most cunning, deceptive, and deadly man I’ve ever met: Jared Smith
The Big Book of Spy Stuff
Table of Contents
Danger Is My Nickname
“Ethical Issues”? What Are Those?
High-Tech Espionage!
Secret Agent Tool Kits & Self-Defense!
Espionage & Communication
Dishonesty—It’s the Best Spy Policy
avesdropping!
Surveillance
Disguises, Alibis & Covers
Animal Spies
Sneaking, Following & Escaping!
Operation Mincemeat: Based on a False Story
Misinformation
Sabotage & Assassination?
Secret Messages & Code-Breaking
Spymasters
Keeping Secrets Secret!
The Best (and Worst!) Secret Names Ever
Spy-Catching and Lie-Detecting
The Best-Dressed Agents
Famous (& Infamous) Spies
The 12 Types of Spy Screw-Ups
Weird Assignments
Becoming a Pro
Agencies!
Terminology!
Selected Bibliography
Danger Is My Nickname
Hey, can you hold still for a second? This book is electronically scanning your right eye to figure out your security clearance. (You’ve heard of e-books, right?)
While it’s doing that, let me tell you about my spy credentials. First, I am an expert in sabotage (SAB-uh-taj), the art of destroying or damaging things for spy-ish reasons. My list of accomplishments includes derailing a toy train and blowing up a pumpkin.
Furthermore, I can kill with my bare feet (although I prefer not to step on caterpillars if I can help it). And while I can’t confirm or deny any more details on my background, I can tell you that I’m a writer...and trust me, writers are spies! The difference is that a writer wants to discover secrets and then share them with everybody. A spy wants to discover secrets and share them with nobody (or sell them to a high-paying client).
Hey, it looks like this book’s eye-scan is done, and—uh-oh: you’re not cleared for any top secret material at all! That’s too bad. So please stop reading right now.
Did you hear what I said?
Well, I guess THAT’s not going to work.
Wait! By continuing to read despite my threats, you’ve proven your interest in discovering hidden secrets. And that’s good enough for me! After all, “learning secrets” is why most spies get into spying. Because being “one up” on everyone else is pretty cool.
Of course, not all spies want to be cool. Some just don’t have any choice! For example, in 1993 a man named Bin Wu was arrested for trying to smuggle night-vision equipment out of the United States and into China. But here’s what’s amazing: Bin Wu hated the Chinese government! In fact, Bin Wu had been arrested for protesting against China’s policies. After Bin Wu was arrested, he was given a choice: either work as a secret agent for China or go to prison for a long time. (Guess which one he picked?)
Spies: The Exception to the Rule
Guess what? Many people automatically dislike anyone who has the word “agent” in his or her job title. Literary agent, talent agent, chemical agent...we hate ’em all! Do you know the only exception to this? Secret agents!
According to this book’s electronic scan, you’re also an honest person. So maybe you don’t think you’re cut out for spying. Think again! If you’ve read this far, you’re almost ready to trade in your goody-two-shoes for spy boots with poison gas canisters hidden in their heels. And then you’ll be ready to do something really glamorous, like writing up spy reports.
Nobody knows what the first spy report was. But the oldest one we know of was written 4,000 years ago on a clay tablet somewhere in what is now Iraq. (It was a secret plan to watch for fire signals on the Euphrates River.)
My guess is that the actual oldest spy report was from hundreds of thousands of years ago and went something like this:
“Commander Thok, I am ready to give my report.”
“Go ahead, Agent Boomp.”
“I saw Reegu collecting shells!”
“Good work!” *pause* “Uh, why do you think Reegu was doing this?”
“Maybe he wants to start using the shells for money?”
“But that would totally destroy our current system of buying and selling items using very small rocks!”
“Perhaps he just thinks seashells are pretty.”
“They are, aren’t they? I especially like the curly ones with the blue insides.” *pause* “But we should probably hit Reegu over the head with something hard just to be safe.”
As we have learned from the cavemen, spying is very exciting! It combines danger, secrecy, and the potential for making really big mistakes. And in modern times, spies get to wear cool sunglasses!
Why Spy?
But cool sunglasses alone don’t explain spying. The fact is that every nation wants to protect its borders and its citizens. Here are three ways nations can do this:
Make treaties with other countries.
Have a military.
Spy!
While I don’t know for certain that cave people used spies, ancient civilizations did. For example, Greek mythology had the story of the demigod named Prometheus (pro-MEETH-ee-us). He stole secret technology (namely, fire) from the head god, Zeus (zoos). Then Prometheus gave this classified information to the humans. Finally, after getting caught, Prometheus was sentenced to having his liver eaten by an eagle. Just like spies today!
And in between screams, I’ll bet Prometheus would have agreed with the words of ancient Chinese leader Sun Tzu: “An army without secret agents is like a man without eyes and ears.”
Hey, did you hear that? “Eyes and ears.” So that’s why spies need sunglasses (and earpieces).
Okay, now we understand why nations have spies. But I have to point out something before going onward. People like me love to learn about the secrets and failures of spies throughout history. But for every flub or mistake that a spy or spy agency makes, there are countless times when they save lives, foil enemy plots, and otherwise do exactly what people hope they will do.
So why don’t we hear more about spies saving the day? Because these successes are SEC
RET! The CIA (Central Intelligence Agency) even has an unofficial motto: “Our failures are publicized. Our successes are not.” So don’t think that all spies are dangerous, bumbling nincompoops...because only some of them are.
And the spies who are really good at their jobs are the ones you’ll NEVER hear about. (Like me!)
“Ethical Issues”? What Are Those?
I’ll admit it. This book is steeped in treachery, lies, and deception.[1] Look, a spy has to deceive other people. It’s even in the job description: “Spy—a person who secretly collects information on an enemy or competitor.” (One former agent told me that a three-word motto for his job was “Befriend and betray.”)
In order for a spy to secretly collect information, he or she will use many, many forms of trickery, starting with lying! In fact, you could say that a spy is a professional liar. But while you may believe lying is always wrong, sometimes telling a lie can prevent something awful from happening. This means that lying and deception can be necessary—and even good! Here’s what I mean:
Bad deception—A spy who’s working for a private agency sneaks his way into a job with a corporation. There he learns of a new, top secret cure for baldness. The spy steals the formula and sells it to a rival corporation for millions of dollars. Meanwhile, the original inventor of the baldness cure (my hero!) doesn’t get a penny.
Good deception— Using a secret identity, a government spy sneaks his way into a terrorist group. There he learns of an upcoming attack on his country. He warns the authorities, and the lives of innocent people are saved!
But the lines between bad and good deception are not always so clear. The world of spying can be so tricky and murky, it’s been called a “wilderness of mirrors.” So that makes having a strong moral sense of right and wrong one of the most important traits of a spy. Of course, “right” and “wrong” can depend on a person’s point of view and what country they come from.
During the Revolutionary War, American agent Nathan Hale had a friend who thought spying was always disgraceful. Hale said something like this to him: “Anything done for the good of the majority is honorable because it’s necessary.” And this leads us to the age-old question: When does the end (the outcome, or result) justify the means (the method, or spying)? Put another way, what makes it okay to do something illegal (the means) for the sake of helping a nation (the end)?
Imaginary Case in Point I
The neighboring nation of Piddlehinton is on good relations with your homeland. But your spymaster informs you that Piddlehinton might have plans to invade your country. If you’re willing to go on the mission, you can go to Piddlehinton and steal those invasion plans!
Should you go? Is that the right thing to do?
If you say “yes,” that means you would be committing a crime of theft against a country that has done no harm to yours. In fact, you’d be stealing something from one of your country’s allies.
But let’s say you go through with this theft anyway. As you stick the secret invasion plans down your black turtleneck, a security guard shows up. What would you be willing to do to protect the invasion plans?
Surrender
Try to knock out the guard
Use your ninja throwing stars on the guard.
If you chose b or c, you’d be attacking a person who is trying to stop a crime. Uncool!
Of course, we could turn this around. What if a spy from Piddlehinton were trying to steal top secret invasion plans from your country. Remember, this spy would be doing exactly what you were going to do!
Would you try to stop him? Capture him? Throw ninja stars at him?
Imaginary Case in Point II
Ooh, I have an even tougher dilemma! Let’s say your country and Piddlehinton are already at war. War is hard on more than just the soldiers. And you’ve heard that some of the people of Piddlehinton have been dying of disease.
Through your spy network, you catch word that Piddlehinton agents are smuggling supplies into the country. While investigating, you find a group of women and children that are about to cross the border into Piddlehinton.
At first, this seems okay, but then you notice that all of the children have dolls. You’ve always been secretly afraid of dolls, so you have an agent take a closer look at them. The agent finds that all of the children’s dolls are filled with...medicine!
What do you do? On the one hand, this medicine is headed to an enemy country. On the other hand, it will probably be used to help innocent people. Are you going to take the medicine away and arrest a bunch of women and children?
This actually has happened before. During the Civil War, secret agents smuggled medicine into the South using dolls. These were sometimes found by Union soldiers, who had to decide what to do with the dolls. (Playing with them was not an option).
Do you see how complex the world of spying can be? It’s a BIG complex world, too, because every single nation has spies. Even Vatican City, a country with fewer than 1,000 citizens, has at least one spy!
Nations usually send their spies to both friendly and unfriendly countries. That’s because a friendly country might have better secrets than an enemy. And there is always the chance that a friendly country might become an unfriendly one...so, better safe than sorry!
The United States and many other nations have secret agents in every other nation in the world. And all U.S. agents have permission to spy wherever they are, except for the American agents in Great Britain, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. These countries (and the U.S.) are known as the Five Eye allies, and they have a “you don’t spy on us, we don’t spy on you” agreement with each other.
Most nations in the world accept the fact that CIA agents are running around in their country. And in many cases, they’re happy to have the spies! That’s because CIA agents might find out some good information and then share it with those countries. The United States often returns the favor by allowing foreign spies within its borders.
It’s a tricky problem!
It’s hard to prove that friendly countries really aren’t spying on each other. As one agent said, “How would you verify it—by spying?”
Our Role Model: Sir Francis Walsingham
Is it even possible to be a good person and also a good spy? Maybe. Sir Francis Walsingham (c. 1530–1590) created England’s first spy agency. In his 20 years of leading a team of more than 70 secret agents, Walsingham protected Queen Elizabeth from assassins and England from invasion by Spain.
In all the time Walsingham ran the spy agency, he never once used it for his own benefit. In fact, Walsingham paid his spies himself, out of his own pocket. (Trust me, that’s impressive.) So, although Sir Francis Walsingham cheated, lied, and spied for his nation, he was actually an honest man!
We can see that even in the world of spying, there are rules. And that brings us to traitors. A traitor is someone who betrays his country. Someone like John Walker. He was an officer in the U.S. Navy who sold over 250,000 secret documents to Russia.
When Walker was arrested in 1985, it seemed clear that he was a traitor. Not only did he sell his nation’s secrets to a rival nation, he hadn’t even been recruited. Walker just walked into to the Russian embassy and asked if they needed secrets! (Walker was given life in prison.)
Then there’s the case of Jonathan Pollard, a U.S. intelligence officer who stole more than one million pages of classified material. Pollard sold those papers to a nation that is a FRIEND of the United States, namely, Israel. Is that just as bad as what Walker did? (Pollard was also given life in prison.)
What do we call a person who gives his nation’s secrets to the public? In 2010, a U.S. Army intelligence analyst named Bradley Manning was arrested for leaking a video. The video showed the crews of two American attack helicopters firing at a group of mostly unarmed people in Iraq. (Eleven people were killed in the attack, including a news photographer.)
Manning gave this video and thousands of secret messages to a website called WikiLeaks. (It’s an onlin
e source of information that governments and corporations would prefer to keep secret.) Manning wanted ALL of this material to be made public. Was it because he wanted to betray his country? Or did he have an honest desire for people to know the truth? (This kind of person is called a “whistleblower.”) If he was, in fact, a whistleblower, does that make Manning a traitor or a hero? Or something in between?
NOT Our Role Model
From the early 1970s to 2007, Monzer al-Kassar was the man to see for anyone looking for guns or explosives. It didn’t matter who you were or what you wanted the weapons for—if you had money, al-Kassar would sell them to you.
When asked how he could work with hostile spies, terrorists and criminals, al-Kassar answered, “How do I know who’s good and who’s bad? The bad people for you may be the good people for me.”