by Terry Towers
I wouldn’t and couldn’t allow my thoughts to linger on the worst-case scenarios. But at the same time I wasn’t foolish enough not to prepare myself for any scenario going in.
Leaving the sniper rifle in the trunk, I walked the remaining distance, my pistol at the ready. The house appeared quiet as I crept in through the back. I’d seen the driveway and no cars filled it. But I wasn’t going to let myself feel secure in the fact everything appeared safe.
Keeping to the shadows, I avoided the cameras I had planted in case someone was watching from my control room in the attic of the house. The sliding doors were locked – just as I left them – unlocking them, I soundlessly slid it open big enough to fit through and closed it behind me.
As I walked deeper into the house, I began to hear the soft sounds of crying coming from the living room, just past the kitchen. The crying was soft, either from a child or woman.
Oh Jesus! Austin!
My need to find out what was going on overrode my caution and I began to run, but the sprint was short-lived as I skidded to a stop at the kitchen. My mouth fell open as I stared at the body lying in the middle of the kitchen floor, in a pool of blood.
“Robyn!” I called out, running past the kitchen and to the living room.
“In here.”
I released a sigh of relief; she was okay. As I entered the living room, I found her cradling Austin in her arms, her face streaked in tears and Austin sobbing uncontrollably. They were both fine. I silently thanked a deity that I didn’t even believe in that they were safe.
“What happened? How did Gabriel…?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Mommy killed him. Mommy killed Daddy!” Austin wailed, attempting to free himself from his mother’s arms.
Oh fuck. I groaned inwardly, switching the safety on the gun and shoving it back into its holster. This wasn’t the worst-case scenario, but it was certainly a shit show. I’d be lucky if the kid didn’t need a lifetime of therapy after this.
I wanted to ask a million questions, but couldn’t, not in front of Austin.
“I want to see Daddy!” the boy cried out again, once more attempting to escape Robyn’s grip.
“You can’t honey. Daddy’s gone.” She looked up at me with anguish in her expression.
I nodded. I knew what I had to do. The story of how this all came about would have to wait – I had a body to dispose of. Heading down to the basement, I grabbed a blue plastic tarp and duct tape then retreated upstairs and to the kitchen. I’d have to stage a crime scene. It would have to look like some rival drug dealer took him out. Robyn needed her nightmare to be over with and it certainly wouldn’t hurt to make sure she was free and clear of all suspicion.
We could simply call the police and claim self-defence, but that wasn’t guaranteed a free and clear for her. It would be a lot of hell for her and Austin. I could see the headlines now, alleged drug kingpin murdered in self-defence by wife in front of their child. Depending on how it went down it could get very, very messy. Plan A was her best shot. She had an alibi and he had more enemies than you could count. It was the best way. We’d just have to figure a way to handle Austin so he wasn’t scarred for a lifetime.
Fuck, so many problems. At least Gabriel Salvatore had screwed her for the last time and now life could go on.
Entering the kitchen, I sighed. It was going to be a lot of work to get the kitchen cleaned of blood. It was a bugger to get out, especially since it had seeped into the cracks. Well, whatever. First thing was first – body disposal.
~*~ TT ~*~
Robyn
Thank god, Austin had cried himself to sleep in my arms on the sofa. I wanted to take him upstairs, but was too scared I’d wake him to attempt it. An hour ago, Constantine left the house claiming to be back by morning. He was going to take care of everything.
Unfortunately, I didn’t think that he’d be able to fix what Austin had seen. And how in the hell would I be able to convince Austin to keep what he’d seen to himself? Maybe I should have called the police and come clean. Constantine insisted his way was the best way and all I could do was trust he was right. Gabriel had come packing heat; his intentions were far from pure. He’d hired Constantine to kill me – he must have decided to do it himself.
I did what I had to do. I kept telling myself that, over and over, but it didn’t take away the guilt. I should never have shot him in front of Austin, but I hadn’t seen Austin until it was too late.
Dammit, how was I ever going to live with myself?
Epilogue
Three months later
Constantine
“It’s okay. Shhhh.” I pulled Robyn into my arms and held her tight to me as she awoke from yet another nightmare. Thankfully they weren’t near as bad as they were a couple of months ago.
Her eyes fluttered open as she clung to me. It took a moment for recognition to register in her eyes. A tight smile formed on her lips and she snuggled her head against my neck and released a barely audible sigh.
“Was it the same as usual?”
“Yeah. Gabriel breaks in and kills you, Austin and then pulls the gun on me.”
Chances were that was what would have happened. To ensure nothing ever happened to her, I also took care of what had appeared to be his closest men. No one would ever come after her. She was safe now.
“You’re safe now. Nothing will ever happen to you or Austin as long as I’m alive.”
“But…”
This was our normal routine. Normally, I would reassure her that everything would be okay and by the time I finished my sentence she’d be softly snoring beside me. Apparently, not tonight. Neither one of us talked about what we referred to as that night. We kept attempting to put it behind us, but it was never behind us – it was the elephant in the room that we both one day hoped would go away.
“But what?” I didn’t want to ask the question; I had a feeling it wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have with her. But I asked anyhow.
“You haven’t stopped, have you?”
“Stopped what?” I knew damned well what. My occupation. Of course it bothered her, it would bother anyone. Well, any normal person.
“Your business.”
I was so fucking tempted to lie, it would be so much easier to tell her what she wanted to hear, but I couldn’t. She deserved the truth. There had been too many lies between us in the past, I refused to have lies between us in the future. We’d been through too much together both in our distant and recent past.
“Yes, I am still taking contracts.”
“How many?”
“Just two.”
She laughed, but it was a hollow sound. “Two lives.”
“They are not good people, Robyn. I get paid for taking out the trash. I’m doing the world a service.”
“It seems so wrong.” She lowered her gaze from mine and buried her face against my neck. Tears began to drip from her eyes and onto my bare flesh.
This was the part where I was supposed to ask her what I should be doing instead and she’d perhaps give me a suggestion. Maybe take over my dad’s bar? I’d thought about it numerous times and just last week Dad suffered a heart attack. I knew it was coming; he was pushing himself too hard to keep that bar up and running. I’d temporarily stepped in and taken over for him; I supposed I could do that permanently. Though I knew I would miss the adrenaline rush of getting a target in my sights. The godlike feeling of taking a life and knowing that the streets were a better place because of it. Yes, I know, I sound like a monster, but it’s the truth.
But I now received a different kind of rush, because of Robyn. The rush of love. The feeing of power knowing someone depended on and appreciated me, not for taking a life, but just for existing. That was a powerful, powerful thing.
Her soft snores took me off the hook for answering, but I thought I had an answer for her. We didn’t need the money. I had a house, bought and paid for. Cars, also paid for. Money in the bank and hidde
n in the house. Money wasn’t what I needed, but there were two things I did need – Robyn and Austin.
~*~ TT ~*~
Robyn
It was going to have to be me and Austin or his job. I’d made the decision this morning, after I woke up the previous night from yet another nightmare. Austin and I needed a stable and secure life. We didn’t need money or power, all we needed was a husband and father who loved and took care of us. One I didn’t have to worry about getting killed every night, or who would lie to me about his whereabouts and doings.
I’d been lied to way too much throughout my lifetime.
Today, I spent the day dwelling on my time with Constantine, both past and present. Tonight, Constantine would make the decision. Austin was getting way too attached to Constantine. If we were going to leave, it would best be sooner rather than later.
“I’m hungry. How much longer to eat?” Austin asked, coming into the kitchen, led by his stomach.
“Constantine will be home in a few minutes. Then we eat.” Spaghetti and meatballs. Our first and maybe last meal together would be the one I made that he loved the most. It almost felt like I was attempting to bribe the answer I wanted out of him with food.
“Constantine is home tonight, yeah!”
“Yup, it’s slow at the bar so he’s home all night.” Looking down at his beaming little face, I smiled. It was a rueful smile. Austin was still struggling with the loss of the man he’d known as his father, but never mentioned the incident. The psychologist Constantine had us both going to felt he may be suppressing the memories of that night. I was grateful. They may come back at any moment, but at least it wasn’t today, giving him time to heal and bond. With any luck when the memories came back he’d dismiss them as some horrible nightmare that was simply a figment of his imagination.
If not… we’d cross that bridge when we came to it.
“Hey baby, I’m home. Virtually no traffic,” I heard Constantine call out as the front door opened and closed.
Just hearing his voice made me smile. But my smile quickly faded and it hit me in the gut like a Mack truck, leaving me winded. If he chose his profession I’d be even more devastated than I was the first time I left him, pregnant and alone.
“We’re in the kitchen. Supper is ready.”
“Smells like it.” A couple of minutes later he appeared in the kitchen archway. He looked tired though he smiled, but as sexy as he always did and it made my heart rate accelerate – just a little. Entering the kitchen, he walked over to kitchen drawer that contained the cutlery and pulled it open. Grabbing a spoon, he dipped it into the meat sauce and brought it to his lips, sampling it. “Amazing. Swear you’re the best cook, babe.”
Before I had time to answer he spun away from me and made his way over to the table where Austin had perched himself at his spot at the table. “Hey little buddy, how was your day?” He sat down at the head of the table and gave Austin his complete attention.
As they chatted, I set the table and filled it with the dishes I’d prepared. Constantine had a hired cook on-site, I was surprised how much I enjoyed cooking even if I felt the cooking was sub-par. Maybe I’d take a class.
Once I seated myself and we dished out our servings, Constantine touched my hand, sending warmth through me. “Would you like to go for a walk in the gardens once Austin is to bed?”
“I’d like that.” I just hoped I’d have the nerve to give him the ultimatum I planned and had the willpower to follow through with it.
~*~ TT ~*~
Robyn
“Such a beautiful night.” My insides trembled at what I needed to do, trembled so badly that a few times I felt I was going to be ill. Maybe I could accept what he did? But as the thought came to mind I knew I couldn’t, that wasn’t the person I was. It had to be a fresh start from everything. That was the only way I could move on with him.
“It is. I don’t think I could have planned a better night than tonight for what I’m about to do,” Constantine said as we entered the gardens and he led me to a large marble fountain back up against a stone wall. He motioned for me to sit down and I obliged; I needed to sit because my knees were threatening to collapse under me.
“I have something to say,” I started, trying to just get the jump in on him.
“Just let me start, okay?” I nodded. What I had to say could wait a little longer.
He sat down next to me, taking my hands in his. “Remember the first day we met?”
My lips spread into a wide smile. Of course I did. “We ran into each other in the courtyard before second period. I skinned my knee and ruined my new nylons.”
Constantine smiled; there was such love in his eyes that it made my insides melt. Maybe I should have gone first. If he continued down memory lane I’d never be able to say what was necessary. “That wasn’t an accident.”
The smile on my lips faded and I frowned. “You knocked me down by accident?”
“I didn’t mean to actually slam into you that hard; it was meant to be a romantic comedy type of introduction that we’d laugh about for years to come. At the very least I was hoping it would be an icebreaker.”
“That’s lame.”
“Worked though, didn’t it?” he pointed out.
He had me there. I shrugged, giving him a sheepish grin. “Fine. You win. It worked.”
“From that very moment I knew that you were the woman I wanted… No, wait… Needed to spend the rest of my life with.” He slipped from the bench to the ground, on one knee.
Oh shit, was he about to do what it looked like? The entire world stood still and all I could do was sit and stare at him. I needed to stop him, get out what I had to say before he did… But I couldn’t move, frozen in place as he reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the ring case I’d found in the hidden compartment of his drawer.
“Constantine…” I managed to squeak out.
“Those feelings have never changed, Robyn. Even after all that has happened and all the years that have passed, I’ve never stopped loving you.”
Stop this! the voice in the back of my mind yelled at me. As soon as the words “will you marry me” came out I’d be done for and would say yes before I could get out my condition.
Breaking through my temporary paralysis, I placed my index finger on his lips, stopping him and no doubt ruining what was going to be a well thought-out proposal. “I need to say something before…” I didn’t want to say the rest; I was feeling like a horrible human being right now.
“Okay,” he said the word slowly, eyeing me with intense scrutiny. “What’s wrong?” He looked down at the ring case and repocketed it.
Oh god, I hope I didn’t just ruin everything! “I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and I just can’t handle what you do for a living. If you were going to do what I think you are, I need your reassurance that it’s going to be a new start for you and us. The,” I gulped the word causing a knot in my throat, “killing has to stop. I want an honest life. I don’t need to be rich, but I do need security and stability, as does Austin.”
A look of relief washed over Constantine’s features and he smiled. “If you’d allowed me to finish you would have heard that I have been talking to my father and I’m taking over the bar. He can’t do it anymore and it would kill him to see his life’s work go up in flames. I’m buying him out, he’s going to enjoy retirement and I’ll be retiring from my current occupation.”
My mouth fell open and I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I wished I hadn’t doubted him, but I had and I felt like a gigantic ass.
“Now that the truth is out, you and Austin are the most important things in my life.” He pulled the ring case from his jeans pocket again and opened the box. “We can get you a larger one if you like, but I thought this one would have more meaning.”
When I didn’t respond, he continued.
“So, Robyn Vaughn, this is long past due, but I love you more than you can ever imagine and know I’ll never love anyone as much o
r as deeply as I do you. Will you marry me?”
There was only one answer I could possibly have. “Yes!”
~*~ TT ~*~
Constantine
Was I nervous when I proposed to Robyn? Honestly, I didn’t think I could have been any more nervous… but I was as we sat Austin down the next day. His bright blue eyes looked from me to Robyn and back again. He knew something was up; he was a perceptive little guy.
“Austin, honey.” Robyn looked over her shoulder at me and I gave her a nod of reassurance. “There’s something that you need to know.”
“Uh-huh.” His brows knit as he looked back and forth between us.
“Remember when I said that your real daddy was in heaven?”
He nodded. “Yes, Mommy.”
Her body tensed to the point where her back was board straight. I could almost feel how hard this was for her. I wished I could do something to ease that situation for her, but nothing but the truth could unburden her.
“That isn’t entirely true.”
Austin’s eyes narrowed and he looked at me with such intensity it made me shift from one foot to the other. “Is Constantine my daddy?”
The tension burst from Robyn and she slumped back against my thighs and nodded. “Yes, Austin, he’s your real daddy. I’m sor-”
She couldn’t get the apology out. Austin leapt from the sofa and ran to me, wrapping his arms around my legs and holding tight. “I wished you were my dad. I kinda look like you.”
I didn’t know what to say, but let me tell you the relief I felt rivalled Robyn’s. The child not only was accepting me but wishing for me to be his dad. Something inside of me burst and for the first time in a very, very long time tears filled my eyes and spilled out onto my cheeks. All of my life I’d wanted a family I could call my own, a place where I belonged and finally after all these years, despite all the heinous things I’d done I’d found people who accepted me.