Disillusioned Love

by Amy Lee Peine

  “Absolutely not.” Sam stated.

  Alex looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. Sam was beautiful. A classic beauty within her quirkiness. “Why not?”

  Samantha smiled warmly at him then out towards the golden sun. “A few reasons I suppose.” She began considerately. “First of all, Riana is a people pleaser--shocking I know.” She laughed. “If she knew you had feelings for her she’d likely feel obligated to jump into things I don’t think she’s quite ready for.”

  Alex’s heart sank. “I don’t want her to feel obligated to do anything.” He admitted. He knew exactly how that felt and refused to make Riana feel the same way.

  “I know. Which leads me to reason number two. She’ll get there Alex. But she needs to get there on her own.” Alex nodded silently and watched Sam. “You’re good for her Alex, like really good for her. Stick it out if you truly love her, she’ll make it worth the wait.”

  Alex smiled as he imagined what it would be like to be Riana’s partner. “I don’t doubt that at all. I’ll wait as long as it takes.” Sam couldn’t have smiled any bigger or brighter.

  “That’s what I like to hear. You should probably come inside in a few. We have to start dinner soon if you want it to be ready when they get back.” Sam shot him a wink then hopped off the fence.

  Riana and Matt got to the airport with ten minutes to spare. Riana couldn’t stop the panic in her chest, or the trembling of her hands. They stood at baggage claim and watched for Tabitha and Spencer. “So remind me again, how old is Spencer?”

  Matthew looked over at Riana and shook his head. “You really aren’t anything like most fans.” He laughed as he referred to what Riana considered to be the disgusting amount of information D.M.A.’s fans kept logged away in their obsessive brains. As the years had passed in Riana’s life her love for D.M.A. the band never diminished but she grew up; and realized her pipe dreams of marrying Matthew Sullivan were ridiculous. She always loved the music though, which is why she remained a fan. She never understood the appeal of essentially stalking their lives. “Spencer is four.”

  “Okay, got it.” She breathed deeply.

  Matthew grabbed Riana’s upper arm and pulled her from her distracted thoughts. “There they are!” He hollered. He pulled Riana along with him for a moment then let go as he and Spencer ran to each other.

  “Daddy!” Spencer squealed delightedly. Matthew scooped him up and kissed his cheek. Tabitha approached behind and Matt turned and happily met her lips. Riana smiled warmly at the intense love in this little family. They chatted eagerly as Matt brought them back to where Riana stood awkwardly.

  “This is Riana.” He started as he smiled at her. She gave a shy smile back. “We’re going to be staying at her ranch for a while.”

  “Hi.” Riana greeted softly. She looked towards Tabitha and noticed she stared at Riana with an intensity Ri wasn’t prepared for.

  “Riana.” She stated coolly.

  Riana would have been incredibly overwhelmed had Spencer’s small voice not brought her back to the moment. “You have ponies?” He asked excitedly.

  Riana laughed lightly. “I do.” She replied as they started towards the baggage corral. “Do you like horses?” She asked. Spencer nodded quickly. “Good. I’ll take you to meet all of them.” Matthew started a juggling act as he held Spencer and grabbed bags. Riana noticed Tabitha seemed to be having difficulty grabbing the last two bags and Spencer’s car seat. “I can take that if you’d like Tabitha.” Riana offered hesitantly.

  She looked at Riana a bit suspiciously but gave a small smile. “Thanks Riana.” Riana let go of a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. Matt gave her a reassuring smile, and Ri quickly rolled her eyes at him. She still wasn’t looking forward to the three hour drive back to the ranch, but at least she didn’t quite feel like Tabitha would strangle her from behind.

  Lexi and Derek lounged in the sitting room deemed “the theater” watching some TV after they got their fill of water and sun outside. Alex took off a little while ago and Sam was getting cleaned up. “So,” Lexi started. “You think we’re all ready for this?”

  Derek intently stared at the screen of “World’s Dumbest Criminals.” He shook out his head and looked over to Lexi. “Ready for?”

  “Tabitha.” Lexi stated simply. “Obviously it was only a matter of time before we all met her..”

  Derek gave Lexi a smile then patted the spot next to him on the couch. Lexi grinned and moved from the armchair to the place next to him. She curled her legs up under herself and turned to face him. He gazed at her for a moment then tucked a bit of her unruly curls behind her ear. “I think it’s wonderfully sweet how worried you are about Riana and Tabitha.” Lexi felt a light blush warm her cheeks as Derek’s fingers barely touched the side of her face. “I think between Riana’s assertiveness and Alex and Matthew’s protectiveness of her Tabitha will quickly discover any resentment towards Ri will not be tolerated.” Lexi barely nodded. “Tabitha isn’t all bad Lexi. She’s actually very fun and sweet. She wants the best for those she loves and I think the more she gets to know Riana, the more she’ll see she’s good for Alex.”

  Lexi sighed uneasily. “I hope you’re right.”

  Derek pulled her into his side and squeezed her. “Of course I’m right.” He laughed. He didn’t remove his arm from her shoulders. Lexi took a deep breath through her nose and settled into him. It thrilled her to be nestled so closely to Derek as they laughed at the ridiculous blunders of criminals caught on tape.

  Alex remained on the fence for a bit after Samantha left. It difficult to process everything; how he so effortlessly fell in love with one of his best friends, how terrified he was that she would find out, and how desperately he didn’t want her to feel obligated to be with him just because he couldn’t stop a progression of feelings that should have been kept in check right from the beginning. Yet, he wanted nothing more than for her to feel the same way, to know he loved her, and he wanted her to choose him over Ryan. He knew it was incredibly selfish. He grimaced a bit, glanced down at his watch and figured it was about time to start on dinner if he wanted it ready by the time they got back. He smiled when he jumped off the fence as he thought about how happy it made him to take care of Riana any way he could; and he’d start with dinner.

  Alex entered the house, proceeded towards the kitchen and noted he couldn’t seem to find anyone else. He walked the halls in search of them. This place would be absolutely epic for hide and seek. He chuckled to himself. Alex found Lexi, Derek and Sam absorbed in terrible reality TV. Lexi and Derek were cuddled up together on the couch and Sam was in the armchair next to them. He cleared his throat. “Hey, anyone want to help me make dinner?”

  Lexi smiled brightly at Alex. “Absolutely!” She yipped as she got up and out of Derek’s embrace.

  “Right behind you dear!” Samantha called as Lexi and Alex hurried to the kitchen. “Come on, D.”

  They gathered in the kitchen as Alex slipped on one of Riana’s aprons and started to search the refrigerator for ingredients. Sam giggled a bit. “Love the look Alex.” He turned his head and winked at her. “So what are you going to make her?”

  “Stuffed Italian shells.” Alex announced proudly as he turned from the fridge with a handful of cheeses, fresh spinach and milk.

  “Ooh! She’ll love it!” Lexi exclaimed delightedly. Alex hoped Riana would be pleased with what he made. He got to work, with the help of the ladies, while Derek made up drinks. They chatted happily, and Alex realized as his heart swelled and his smile radiated, that yes; this was exactly how his life was supposed to be. He was just getting the cheesy garlic bread ready to go into the oven when they heard the dogs begin to bark.

  “They must be back!” Lexi called over her shoulder as she scampered outside. Alex took a deep breath and looked worriedly towards Derek and Sam.

  “It’s going to be fine, Alex.” Derek assured as he patted Alex on the back and headed outside. Alex relented and followed in t
he wake of everyone else.

  The ride back to the ranch would have been tenser had it not been for Spencer’s endless chatter. He kept Riana, Matthew and Tabitha terribly amused; and his questions of Riana seemed to be the beginning of Tabitha being able to get to know Ri without them having to directly engage. Spencer asked Riana all sorts of questions; how old she was, if she had kids, if she was married, what she did for a living. Though Spencer asked it as only a four year old could, “My daddy makes music, do you make music too?” Riana was all too happy to oblige him and answered all of his questions with a smile on her face.

  Spencer fell asleep thirty miles from the ranch. The end of his rambling created a silent and awkward moment. Riana was relieved when they finally pulled up to the wrought iron gate. She reached out, swiped her card and drove through.

  As they pulled into the ranch Tabitha’s expression changed from one of indifference to one of awe. Matthew caught her eye and smiled knowingly at her. Riana parked the Jeep and they stepped out, and quickly stretched before they took on the task of gathering the bags. Lexi and Sam were the first ones out of the house. “Tabs, this is Lexi and Sam.” Matthew introduced. Tabitha gave them both a warm smile; so unlike her reaction to Riana.

  “It’s so nice to meet you.” Tabitha gushed happily. Sam and Lexi both smiled but Matthew could tell they would keep their guard up until they knew their beloved Riana was in the clear in Tabitha’s eyes.

  Derek was shortly behind the ladies. He jogged to Tabitha. He picked her up in a tight hug and swung her around. Tabitha laughed happily at him. “Hey D.” she grinned.

  The atmosphere changed the moment Alex stepped out of the house. Tabitha locked her eyes on him and her lips changed from a happy smile to an intense, tight line. Alex was oblivious to Tabitha and instantly drawn to Riana. She stretched her arms over her head by the open driver’s side door. Alex could tell she was exhausted. Riana looked in Alex’s direction and lit up. Alex increased the speed of his stroll and Riana met him halfway. She found instant comfort in his embrace.

  Alex closed his eyes happily, only to open them to Tabitha’s cold stare. Alex narrowed his eyes back at her, and Matthew knew, as he watched the exchange, things would get worse before they would get better between Alex and Tabitha. Alex squeezed Riana tighter as he kept his cold gaze on Tabitha. Matthew grabbed Tabitha’s hand to break her concentration on Alex. She turned her heated gaze onto Matt and he knew he would definitely get an earful once they weren’t around everyone.

  “How’d everything go?” Alex asked Riana quietly.

  “Okay I suppose.” Riana whispered. She looked up at him as he kept his hands on her hips. “We’ll talk later.” Alex nodded and reluctantly let go of her.

  Riana turned around and went to help unload the back of the Jeep. “So there’s definitely room in the house for all of you if you want, otherwise I do have the guest house just past the stables.” Ri explained as she grabbed two bags.

  “I think we’ll take the guest house.” Matthew said. He knew perhaps for a while it would be best to provide Tabitha some distance from Alex. Riana nodded.

  Tabitha surveyed the area as she slung a backpack over her shoulder. “I take it public speaking is going well?” She asked Riana offhandedly.

  Riana smiled, “Can’t complain.” Tabitha nodded silently. Alex hoped if Tabitha saw how well off Riana was, maybe she would realize Riana wasn’t a gold digger who purposely sabotaged his relationship with Kim for her own selfish or financial reasons.

  “D, can you keep an eye on Spence for a moment while we take all this stuff in? He’s sleeping but I’d like him to eat before I let him punk out for the rest of the night.” Matthew requested. Derek agreed as he leaned up against the Jeep and glanced in on Spencer.

  Riana led the way to the guest house and gave them a quick tour. She offered open access to the pool and hot tub at the main house and invited them to share meals. “Speaking of meals,” She started. “I’m going to go see if dinner is done. Come on in whenever you’re settled.” She gave a shy smile and Matthew thanked her as she let herself out.

  Matthew tossed Tabitha’s bag onto the king bed in the master suite. “Are you hungry?”

  “How can you say there isn’t anything going on with Alex and that woman?” Tabitha snapped quickly.

  Matthew took a deep breath, he had hoped to avoid this conflict until after dinner. “That woman is one of Alex’s best friends. In fact, she’s a great friend to all of us.” Matthew defended as anger built in his chest. “There isn’t anything going on between them. Riana’s remained faithful to her partner, just as Alex remained faithful to Kim when they were together.”

  “He may have been physically faithful to her, but it’s obvious he wasn’t emotionally faithful!” Tabitha yelled. “The way he looks at her hides nothing!”

  “And why do you think he would have done that Tabs!? Can’t you pull back for a damn minute and see he wasn’t happy with Kim? There was something missing Tabitha and it’s not fair for you to have some sort of expectation on him to make your friend happy!” Matt fired back. “He stayed longer than he should have.” He finished.

  “That’s cold Matthew.” Tabitha seethed sharply. “She’s absolutely heartbroken and you’re totally dismissing it!”

  “I’m not dismissing it okay? I’m sure she’s upset, but I rather focus on how much happier my best friend is!” He yelled exasperatedly. “If you just… stop looking at this through the lenses of Kim and see it for what it is, you might just see Alex didn’t break up with Kim because of Riana. He did it because he knew something was missing. Riana is a good woman Tabs. A sweet, funny, smart and witty woman. She’s not looking for a fight, and she didn’t want to cause any problems.” Matthew dropped the intensity of his voice. “She wants you to like her Tabs.” Tabitha dropped her head. She knew she was being unreasonable. “Now, let’s go get some dinner.” Matt urged as he reached out to take her hand.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Signs

  Riana left Matthew and Tabitha and went back to the main house. She entered the door and was greeted by the mouth-watering aroma of Italian food. Riana hastened to the kitchen where Alex pulled fresh cheesy garlic toast from the bottom oven. He turned around to put the pan on the island and grinned at Riana. “This smells absolutely scrumptious.” Riana declared as she moseyed around the island to get her nose closer to the saucy, cheesy goodness.

  “Thanks.” Alex blushed. “I hope it tastes as good as it smells.” He laughed as he cut up the loaf of toasty bread.

  Riana snuck her head under his arm and stole a piece of toast. “Oh, yeah, definitely.” Riana mumbled around the hot, gooey toast stuffed into her mouth.

  “Riana!” Alex laughed as he put down the knife and tickled her sides. “You can’t be stealing food!”

  “I bought it!” Riana argued as she squealed beneath his fingers. Alex playfully pinned her against the kitchen island. Suddenly they both froze. Alex once again had a playful, yet urgent grasp on her hips. He was so close. Riana worried he was too close. She felt him lean in. There was a faint scent of sweet, white wine on his breath and her eyes unwillingly fluttered shut. Her hands, given a life of their own it appeared, reached up under Alex’s arms and grasped his shoulders as Riana sighed. She felt herself pull Alex closer, even though she knew she shouldn’t. The sound of Derek clearing his throat tore them from their moment and Alex’s dark skin quickly flushed.

  “Um, sorry.” Derek fumbled. “The table is set. Did you want me to grab anything?” Riana remained leaned up against the island and tried to slow her frantic heart.

  “Yeah, sure. The bread is ready to go.” Alex stuttered. Riana saw Derek nod out of the corner of her eye. She was unable to bring herself to look at him. She was mortified at being caught in a moment that surely couldn’t happen--and definitely shouldn’t happen. She heard Derek’s footsteps move into the dining room and she barely had enough courage to look at Alex. He dropped his head, “Ri, I’m sorry.
”

  Riana quickly turned around and started to clear the cutting board and knife Alex had just used. “Huh? For what? Nothing happened.” She rationalized hastily. She refused to admit how close they had gotten to crossing a very distinct line.

  She heard Alex take a deep breath before he muttered, “You’re right.” Her heart sank in her chest. She knew what almost happened, she should have accepted his apology. She turned to face him; she wanted to hug him and apologize but he was already well into the dining room with two pans of stuffed Italian shells.

  She sighed, defeated, and went to the theater room to get Lexi, Sam and Spencer. When Matt and Tabitha didn’t come back out right away, Derek took it upon himself to wake up Spencer and bring him inside. “Hey, you guys hungry?” Riana asked as she entered the room. Sam was on the couch watching Lexi play with Spencer. Spencer looked up and nodded with a smile. “Well, come on then, Alex made some yummy stuff!” She encouraged. Spencer quickly hopped up and ran towards the dining room. Lexi followed closely behind. Riana smiled softly as she watched her; Lexi had a natural maternal instinct like few others.

  Samantha stepped in next to Riana as they followed behind Lexi. Riana leaned into her, “I can’t wait for his night to be over.” She grumbled with a small laugh.

  As they approached the dining room Riana noticed Alex leaned up against the door frame. The brighter lights of the dining room illuminated him from behind. His jeans hung low on his hips, his hair fell into his eyes and his t-shirt clung to his brawny chest and solid arms. Alex literally oozed sex appeal. Riana’s eyes traveled along his body, then landed on a glass of Asti in his hand. She smiled as she approached him. “I thought you might want this.” He purred with a sly grin.

  Riana took the cool stem from his hand. “You, dear, are absolutely correct.” She took a sip and smiled around the sweetness. “Thank you.” She eyed him suspiciously as she took another sip. “Wait… You aren’t planning to liquor me up and take advantage of me are you?” She teased.