“I’d really like that Derek.” She assured. She couldn’t think of a much better way to spend her birthday than being with him. He was sweet and funny, articulate and caring. An all-around honest, nice guy. Derek smiled and nodded.
“Sweet. Then I guess I’ll pick you up Wednesday, say 8am?” Lexi giggled and nodded. “Have fun with the girls, Lex.” He called as he left Lexi’s room. Lexi grinned to herself. It appeared she had a date-like thing with a wonderful man in three days. She squealed just a bit as she bounded out of her room with her bag and down to Riana’s room.
Riana’s dreams had been twisted and heartbreaking. She was exhausted. She had wanted to find the sense of safety with Alex again, but knew if she did it would only make things worse. She stayed burrowed within her blankets and cynically thought that her bed was much too large to be alone in. She closed her eyes and willed herself to remember what it felt like to be held by him. His warmth. The protective nature of his embrace. As her mind trailed further into the comforting image she was ripped from it when she realized it wasn’t Ryan her mind envisioned, it was Alex. “ARGH!” She growled as she flung her blankets off and stormed into her en suite for a shower.
Riana had been a bit short with everyone as they got ready to leave. She barely spoke two words to Alex. He looked absolutely crushed. Sam frowned as they walked through the door and to the barn. Riana silently tacked up Adonis and loaded his saddle bags. She led him outside, mounted, then looked back to Lexi and Samantha expectantly. Lexi took a deep breath and hoped the tension wouldn’t last long.
The first fifteen minutes of the ride were painfully silent. Riana’s gaze was hard and cold to the horizon. Her jaw was rigid. Lexi knew Riana was close to bursting from the emotional turmoil within her. She also knew an intense run would probably help work out some of the frustration. Lexi leaned forward, into Chester’s neck as she gave him a solid kick. Chester lurched forward and they blasted past Sam then Riana. Lexi glanced back, just quickly enough to catch a mischievous grin spread over Riana’s face. Lexi knew Chester wouldn’t maintain his lead for long once Riana let Adonis free so she whooped and cheered as they led the charge and left dust flying up behind them. Too soon, the sound of powerful, heavy, pounding hooves not belonging to Chester caught up to them. Samantha and Lilo approached from the left and then Adonis shot out in front of them on the right, Riana laughter trailed behind the black streak.
Lexi turned her head to Sam and smiled. Riana continued on, then looped Adonis back around to Lexi and Sam. Chester and Lilo tried desperately to keep up, but Adonis was by far Riana’s strongest and fastest horse. The racing, chasing and playing continued. The horses panted and were covered in sweat. Riana finally eased up on Adonis and allowed Lexi and Sam to catch up. “That was great.” Sam commented as she and Lexi reached Riana.
“Indeed ladies.” Riana agreed. She took a deep breath and frowned lightly, the weight of her issues hadn’t faded away like the dust behind them. Lexi knew they’d have to stop soon so they could talk.
“Ri,” Sam called. “Let’s get the horses some water.” Riana nodded and veered right. They trotted towards the river that fed into the lake and Lexi started to debate on how to get Ri to talk.
Riana pulled back on Adonis, halted him, and dismounted. Sam and Lexi followed suit. Lexi was
acutely aware Riana probably picked the river rather than the lake due to memories of Alex. They led their horses towards the bank where they pulled off their boots and socks. They rolled up their pant legs and proceeded to wade into the water, horses in tow.
“So,” Lexi began. “Derek sort of asked me out.”
Riana’s head quickly snapped in Lexi’s direction, excited. “Seriously?” Lexi nodded.
“What did you say?” Samantha asked quickly. Lexi grinned and bit her lip, a blush barely showed through.
“I told him no.”
“LEXI!” Riana screeched. She startled Adonis and Riana reached up to stroke his nose.
“I’m kidding.” Lexi laughed. “Of course I said yes. I mean, he didn’t actually call it a date.” She rationalized.
“Well, what did he call it?” Samantha implored impatiently.
“He said he heard a rumor my birthday was coming up…” Lexi shot a stern eye at Riana. Riana dropped her mouth in exaggerated offense.
“Why do you automatically assume it was me?” Riana laughed. She knew full well Lexi was right in her assumption.
Samantha giggled as she led Lilo further into the current. “Ri, you’re such a terrible liar.”
“Anyway!” Riana laughed. “So somehow D found out your birthday is coming up.”
Lexi smiled lovingly at Riana. “So he invited me to spend the day with him in Prescott. Catch some theater, dinner. Just some nice one on one time.” Her blush finally deepened. Sam gave a delighted squeal.
“And how do you feel about this?” Riana probed. Lexi furrowed her brow, wasn’t she supposed to be the one asking Ri that question?
“I’m pretty excited I guess.” Lexi replied as she stroked Chester. “A little nervous maybe.” She admitted reluctantly. She adored Derek. She found him alluring, intelligent, compassionate, funny and definitely easy on the eyes. She despised the drama of relationships though.
“Aw, miss independent, it’s okay to like an awesome guy like Derek.” Riana assured as she snuggled Adonis’ face.
There it was, Lexi’s chance to turn the attention off her and onto Riana. “Much like it’s okay for you to like a wonderful man like Alex.” Samantha heard the growl that rolled through Riana’s throat and shot Lexi a worried glance. Samantha hated confrontation, but worried especially about confrontations that included Riana. Ri’s temper was one with its own reputation.
Lexi was a seasoned professional when it came to confrontations with Riana. It was one of the things that made their friendship so strong. “That was uncalled for Lex.” Riana seethed as she pulled on Adonis’ reins and started to lead him out of the river. Lexi tightened her jaw.
“Was it?” Lexi snapped from behind Riana as she too led Chester from the river. “I found it a perfectly logical thing to say.”
“You would.” Riana snarled. Sam reluctantly followed behind with Lilo. Lexi continued her pursuit of Riana.
“And why’s that Riana?” Lexi pushed. “Personally, I think anyone who saw you with Alex would feel justified in saying it.”
Riana spun on her heel and faced Lexi, fury burned in her eyes. “No, Lexi, they wouldn’t.” She retorted. “They wouldn’t carelessly encourage me to cheat on my boyfriend!” Riana turned her back on Lexi and tied Adonis to a tree before she sat to put her socks and boots back on. Her cheeks flushed with frustration. “You’re so damn insensitive!” She yelled.
“Fucking hell, Riana, you know that’s not true.” Lexi countered as she stood over Riana. “I love you Ri. I want you happy. But I don’t think Ryan truly makes you happy.”
“Even if that were true,” Riana started, despite the fact that Lexi spoke the truth; Ryan made her miserable. “it wouldn’t give me the right to cheat on him.” Lexi and Sam both sighed. Riana, even with her temper, was a loyal and loving person; whether or not the recipient deserved it. They felt Ryan didn’t deserve such loving treatment.
“You don’t need to cheat on him Ri.” Lexi murmured. “I’m just saying you don’t have to ignore all the good in Alex or the feelings you have for him.”
“I don’t have feelings for him.” Riana snapped with cold eyes. Lexi was tempted to expose that she had seen Riana and Alex in the kitchen and it had been more than obvious she had feelings for him. She knew, though, that given Riana’s level of resistance she’d chalk it up to a moment of weakness in physical attraction.
“Riana.” Sam pleaded softly.
“Ugh.” Riana growled. “Stop. It doesn’t matter how I feel about Alex, I’m with Ryan.” Riana’s eyes finally softened as she looked to Sam and Lexi. “As my best friends I need you both to support me in that. Can you do that
for me?” She finished softly.
Lexi approached her and pulled her into a hug. “Of course honey.” She assured. “I just want you happy.”
“Me too.” Samantha whispered as she snuck in between Riana and Lexi’s hug. Riana kissed Sam’s forehead.
“Thank you.” Riana mumbled. She pulled out of the hug and untied Adonis. “So, where are we setting up camp?”
Chapter Twenty
Unpredictable
Alex felt completely rejected by Riana as she gave him the cold shoulder before she, Lexi and Sam departed. The last twenty-four hours had been the most intense and emotionally draining twenty-four hours of his life--or at least close to it. He and Riana had gone from a pair of run of the mill friends, to having Riana viciously defend him against Tabitha, to their lustful encounter in the kitchen, the silent treatment, cuddling outside as they watched the movie, and then more silent treatment. It exhausted him. However, he couldn’t justify giving up. He loved her, and he knew it wasn’t easy for her either. He imagined it was likely much more difficult for her. He groaned as he threw his head back against the pool lounge chair. He heard the sliding glass door open then close, but didn’t bother to turn his head.
“Alex, man, what’s up?” Derek asked as he claimed the chair next to Alex and slid his sunglasses onto his face.
“Dude, you don’t want to know.” Alex moaned with his eyes closed against the sun. He heard the crack of a can being opened, then felt the chill of metal against his bare arm. Alex opened his eyes and looked at Derek over the top of his sunglasses. Derek lifted the can of beer and tipped it towards Alex in offering.
“Things not going so well with Riana lately, huh?” Derek presumed as Alex accepted the can and took a deep swallow.
“Not so much.” Alex admitted with a sigh. “She’s… confused.”
“Well, let’s not dwell on it. Let’s just sit back and relax. I’m sure things will work out.” Alex pursed his lips and wondered how it was everyone seemed so sure about things between him and Riana. First Sam, now Derek.
“I don’t know Matt, I don’t think he’s going to forgive me so easily.” Tabitha observed as she brushed out her hair and watched Matthew get dressed. Matt turned from the dresser and sauntered to Tabitha as she stood in the bathroom doorway.
He grabbed her small hips and kissed her softly. “He loves you Tabs. He’ll appreciate you going to him. Although, he might resist a bit until he knows Riana’s in the clear.” He smiled a bit and Tabitha nodded. “I imagine the hardest part will be apologizing to her.”
Tabitha pulled away and turned back into the bathroom. Matthew followed her and found her eyes in the mirror. “That woman scares the hell out of me Matt.” It was clear she was being honest, the fear in her eyes spoke louder than her words.
Matthew didn’t want to discount his wife’s feelings but a smile still played on his lips and in his startling azure eyes. “Her bark is worse than her bite.”
Tabitha laughed just a bit, but it was more a nervous laugh than anything else. “Oh, I don’t know. You fail to remember she had me pinned against a horse stall.”
“Oh honey,” Matt soothed. “Riana’s a softy. You’ll see.” He kissed the top of her head. Matthew had decided months ago to keep his history with Riana from Tabitha. He knew how she blamed Riana for Alex’s “abandonment” of Kim, so he could only imagine how paranoid she’d be about him and Riana. Of course, he worried that keeping it from Tabs might end badly, but he hoped to help out Alex and limit the reasons Tabitha might have for her dislike and mistrust of Riana. Surely she would understand when he finally told her; considering he didn’t even let Derek and Alex in on her nine years ago. He figured he’d tell her once she was over the Alex and Kim drama.
Tabitha approached tentatively to where Alex sat at the bar. “Alex,” She started softly. Alex snapped his cold, chestnut eyes to her. “I… I didn’t mean to get so angry yesterday.” She confessed with humility. Alex wanted to stay angry at her, but the look on her face convinced him she was authentic. He didn’t know how to respond. He knew it couldn’t say it was okay, because it wasn’t. She had been out of line. “I just wanted to… understand more, but it escalated so fast…”
Alex placed his hand on top of Tabitha’s as he found her soft cognac eyes. “I know the whole breakup was a shock to you, to her-- to almost everyone really. But it was a long time coming Tabs. It was a decision I had to make, and Riana just got thrown in the middle.”
Tabitha gave him a weak smile. “Riana... She’s a feisty one.”
Alex couldn’t stop the laughter that rolled out of him. Matthew quickly looked over from the pool and smiled when he saw that Tabitha joined Alex in his laughter. “She certainly is.” Alex chuckled.
“It’s obvious she cares about you, and it’s clear she makes you happy.” Tabitha dropped her eyes for a moment as she wrung her hands together. “That’s all I really want Alex,” she admitted quietly. “For you to be happy.”
“I am Tabs. I’m much happier.” Of course Alex would have been happier still if Riana could believe he loved her and she should be with him instead of Ryan. For now, Alex would take what he could get.
Tabitha nodded. “Okay then.”
Alex quickly pulled her into a hug. “I love you Tabs.” He mumbled as his chin rested on her petite shoulder.
“I love you too, Alex.”
Lexi, Samantha and Riana rode past the lake and up towards where the trees thinned into rocky edges and decided to set up camp. They weren’t exactly girly-girls but they weren’t candidates for “Survivor” either. The process to set up camp was pure entertainment. Riana hated tents, truly and honestly hated them. It seemed to Riana there were never enough pieces to make it all work. Lexi was her hero in this regard, as she was a bit rougher around the edges when it came to outdoor endeavors. While Lexi and Riana fought with the tent, Sam gathered kindling for their fire. “I’m sorry for pushing the Alex thing.” Lexi deplored as she threaded a pole through the loops on her end and pushed it through to Riana’s side.
“I know.” Riana sighed. “It’s just...It’s becoming too complicated.” Riana bent the pole down and attempted to slide it through the last loop before she pushed it into the ground.
“It doesn’t have to be.” Lexi started again. Riana felt tension form in her temples.
“I feel like I owe it to Ryan to talk about things. I mean, we’ve been together for three years.” Lexi walked around to Riana’s side of the tent with the rubber mallet to finish securing the tent.
“You’ve been with him for three years. I don’t see that he’s been with you for those three years. He’s left you totally alone and questioning for months, yet you still hold on and love him. You deserve so much better Ri. If you give Ryan the chance to talk about things, he’s going to say he wants you. But you have to really think about what that truly means. You two don’t even date anymore. You don’t go out, you don’t hang out with friends together. He keeps you a secret; isolated and alone.” Riana dropped her head and took a deep breath. She felt the truth in everything Lexi said.
“I love him.” Riana whispered.
“You love who he was, Ri. Not who he is.” Lexi declared. “There’s a difference.” Riana narrowed her eyes at Lexi. She was so tired of this same conversation, they had it all the time. Riana wondered if she would ever believe Lexi, or if she would ever truly be able to see her relationship with Ryan for the twisted, manipulation it actually was. She was sure Lexi was tired of it as well. Riana felt hopeless. She couldn’t understand why Lexi didn’t just give up on her, she was a lost cause when it came to Ryan.
After they finished the first bottle of wine, Riana, Sam and Lexi were finally relaxed and laughing. “No, I’m serious!” Riana laughed. “He seriously thought it was a picture of a horse! I have to show you the video when we get home because it’s hilarious!” Riana was happy to be back with her girls and not talking about Alex. After the laughter subsided, they silently watched the carefu
l roasting of their marshmallows. “So I guess Matt already knew about my encounter with Tabitha.” Riana blurted. Sam quickly looked over at her. “I felt like an ass of course, but he assured me that it needed to be said.”
“He’s absolutely right.” Lexi interjected.
Samantha brought her marshmallow up and gently touched it to gauge the center gooeyness. “If she knows what’s good for her, she’ll get over it.” She observed with a small laugh.
“What if she doesn’t?” Riana groaned.
“She will. But, for argument’s sake, even if she doesn’t, I don’t think you’ll lose the guys. D’s made it clear, his intention to keep us around. And, well… I don’t think Tabitha could sway Alex when it comes to you.” Lexi assured as she rotated her marshmallow.
“I know.” Riana relented. She spun her stick and inspected how evenly her marshmallow was toasted. She brought the golden brown, toasted, gooey mess to her mouth. “I just hate how much she despises me without even knowing me.” She mumbled around the sweetness.
“You’re such a delicate flower, Ri.” Sam teased. Riana swiftly gave Samantha the finger with a laugh.
“Alright.” Riana declared as she poured herself another glass of wine. “You have a point. Why the hell should I care if she likes me?” She laughed as she raised her glass in a toast.
“You and Alex make up?” Matthew asked against Tabitha’s ear as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.
Tabitha hummed happily at the sensation of his lips. “Yes we did.” She confirmed. “I might not ever fully understand, but he’s happier now. As much as I wanted him to be as miserable as Kim; it’s obvious he’s happy.” Matthew kissed her just under her ear and turned back to the grill.
Disillusioned Love Page 20