by Jade Powers
Hannah said, “That’s between me and Drake. Ask him if you’re curious.”
“Look, he’s not the kind of man who would abandon you if he got you pregnant. You should talk to him when you’re feeling better.” Johnson made it sound so feasible. The hero rides in and saves the day, becoming father of the year. What about in ten years, when there was a child who really needed a father? Would he be around then or off on some mission? Would he resent her for keeping the child?
“It’s mine. I’m going to look out for this baby. I don’t need help.” Hannah said firmly. She wondered if it had the same impact when she was staring at the ceiling. Her stubborn resolve involved a lot of hurdles, chief among them surviving this cancer that had invaded her body. Drake might be raising the baby alone. What if he got killed on a mission or decided a baby was too much trouble? He might leave her alone for months on end in some private school. Worse, her parents might raise Noel Hope. No. Hannah had to survive.
“Would you like to have a book or watch television?” Dr. Johnson asked. His gray hair was askew. At moments like this, he was the epitome of the trusted doctor, the person who would make everything okay. Hannah didn’t trust the image.
She said, “Sure. Do you have Nora Roberts?”
“I’ll check.”
Just a few minutes later, Dr. Johnson returned with a stack of five hard-cover books. One was a Nora Roberts and the rest were unknowns, but looked interesting enough. He put them in reach. He said, “The nurse will be by in ten minutes to give you something for the pain.
As promised, the nurse came in. Whatever she had done to Hannah’s I.V. worked. First, Hannah tasted a hint of garlic. Then she felt better. The pain was still there, but Hannah just didn’t care. She dozed and for a while, things were okay.
DRAKE HATED HIMSELF for riling things up with Hannah. He went for a walk in the cool mountain air. In the meantime, he had to contend with the rogue military arm and their scientists. If what they had done to Hannah was any indication, the group was ready to move to the next level. No one would like that outcome. He felt additional guilt for his part in accepting the contract and using his company to further the mind-control technology to a point where it could be tested on human subjects.
While he walked, Drake considered his next move. With renewed purpose, he walked along a lane shaded with trees on both sides, breathing deeply of the fresh air, paying close attention to every blade of grass, every wisp of cloud.
It was past time to shut down Spokane. He needed to close down the branch and give severance to the employees who survived the attack. He had waited too long for clean-up so that he could find Hannah. She obviously didn’t need or want him now.
He dropped by Sven’s office, “Are you ready for Spokane?”
“Hardly. Minka is still recovering.” Sven was friend enough to keep any resentment at still working for Drake out of his voice. Sven and Minka circled each other like a pair of birds in mating season, chasing and flirting. Eventually, they would settle. Sven had already purchased a ring, and Minka was going to move with Sven to his new house in Montana.
“I know. I’m sorry. I just need you for a few more weeks, a month tops.”
When Drake’s private jet lifted out of Sun Valley, his focus was torn between the events in Spokane and Hannah. He’d left things with Hannah an emotional mess. It was a great reminder for why he didn’t do relationships.
Hannah rested for three days. Every morning she looked for Drake, waited for him to pop in and ask forgiveness or say hello. By the third day, she came to the conclusion that he was done with her.
Johnson released her from the weird little hospital room that morning. He said, “We set up a place for you. It’s bare, but it has a few books and furniture. We’ll start treatment tomorrow.”
As they walked together across a perfectly manicured lawn, Hannah could almost believe she was walking across a college campus. A huge house provided the centerpiece to the estate with smaller houses dotting the countryside like tiny ornaments. The hospital building was a three-story brick building set a good way down the hill and surrounded by trees.
The old Hannah would have gotten winded walking up the hill. Even recovering from her injuries, the new Hannah could feel the difference in her own strength. Johnson showed her the house, furnished completely, down to the well-stocked refrigerator. He handed her a set of keys. She had several pair of hand-me-down clothes, although she never met the person who originally wore them. Johnson said, “There’s a small town a couple of miles down the road. We’re pretty low-key here. No one knows exactly what we do, so if you go shopping, don’t talk too much. You should be safe for a few days anyway.”
“Why a few days?” Hannah asked.
Johnson shrugged, “I’m pretty sure our enemies will be focused on other places.”
He was carrying one of those leather binders that corporations love. He unfolded it, pulling out an envelope with cash. He handed her the envelope. “Drake thought you might want to set one of the rooms up as a nursery. He said you would feel better if you knew the little bugger would be taken care of.”
“Is this guilt money or go-away money?” Hannah asked. She had never held that much money in her hands before. She couldn’t believe how angry it made her.
“Neither. He will be a good father. Give him a chance,” Johnson sounded sincere. But what did he know? He was part of Drake’s corporation, paid to make problems go away.
Hannah held the envelope with both hands until Johnson left. A little house all her own, an envelope full of cash—the whole thing screamed set-up. She barely knew Johnson. For that matter, she didn’t know Drake, either. This was a dangerous game with too many players. And she didn’t know enough to win.
With a sigh, she stashed the money in the empty bedroom closet on the top shelf out of sight. Grabbing the most comfortable pair of clothes they had provided and a towel, Hannah took a long shower, grateful for the hot water flowing over her tense muscles. After the shower, she turned on the television and flipped channels.
Three hours later Hannah was still watching. She thought about reading or going for a walk, but her energy level was at an all-time low. Hannah didn’t want to do anything. As she was flipping through channels, her mom and dad appeared on the screen. She almost missed it.
Hannah listened while her mom said, “We believe our daughter is still alive. If you know anything, anything at all, please call.”
The fervency of her mother’s plea struck Hannah. All that time growing up, she had felt like an obstacle, something in her parents’ way. They were ultra-successful and she never thought she would measure up.
Tears slid down Hannah’s cheeks when her Dad broke down right there in front of all of those reporters. Not her dad. He was logical and always kept it together. Hannah had never seen him lose it before, not once.
“They love me,” Hannah whispered her whole body leaning toward the television as if to soak up the images. That was when she made her decision. No matter what, she was going to live her life without fear. If Drake and his corporation wanted to come after her, she wasn’t going to make it easy. If some clandestine government agency wanted her dead, she would cause as much damage to them as possible before it happened.
Hannah packed quickly, trying on clothes to see what fit, wishing for gloves and a hat in case she had to hitch-hike through higher elevations. When everything was sorted and packed, she went to the kitchen and searched the refrigerator. It was full of fruits and vegetables. Ignoring the healthy snacks, Hannah fried two burger patties. She ate them with a bag of potato chips.
The cupboards had a few boxes of granola bars. She packed them and the beef jerky she found in the refrigerator. After washing the dishes, Hannah couldn’t think of anything left to do but wait.
She waited an hour past sundown to get started. Taking the cash out of the envelope, she shoved one of the hundred dollar bills in her jeans pocket. She put on two pairs of socks, using the socks as a wa
llet. She pushed the other nineteen bills into her socks, splitting them so that she was carrying around a thousand in each shoe.
Turning up the volume on the television, Hannah checked to make sure it was audible from outside with the door closed. She turned off all of the lights but the kitchen. Leaving the cozy little house was the hardest thing Hannah had ever done. She avoided the lights along the road, choosing instead a path along the grass.
The walk to town wasn’t bad, although Hannah regretted putting money in her socks. They seriously irritated her feet. Still, she wasn’t about to change now. All the planning in the world won’t help a person when they have a certain moral compass. For example, even in her desperate position, Hannah wasn’t willing to steal a car. She couldn’t really buy a car, not in this small town. She wouldn’t make it ten miles before word got back to Drake or at least Johnson.
It would have to be hitchhiking, which was a totally bad move. As she approached town, she moved from grass to asphalt, grateful when the sidewalk started. She found the place where the speed limit changed from twenty-five to thirty-five. There were no street lights there, though.
Hannah kept walking until the row of lights illuminating Main Street welcomed night drivers. Not that there were many. Hannah stood at the edge of the road holding her thumb out through seven cars. No one stopped. The idea of walking to the next town was just too overwhelming. Headlights flashed over the slight hill, and Hannah put her thumb out once more.
Success! The car pulled over.
“Can I have a ride?” Hannah asked, as the passenger window rolled down.
The girl in the driver’s seat had a pixie haircut with stylish glasses. She was around Hannah’s age. She said, “Where you headed?”
Hannah took a deep breath. She didn’t know where she was and where she was headed was several states away. With a shrug, she said, “To be honest, I’m trying to get as far away from this town as I can.”
“I’m visiting my sister in Wisconsin. At eleven I’m going to stop at the first hotel I come to. I’ll drive you that far.” At that point, she introduced herself as Nell.
Hannah jumped into the car, feeling for the first time a sense of optimism. “Thanks so much. I can’t even tell you how much this means to me.”
“Just don’t murder me on the road,” Nell joked. Even though she was smiling, Hannah could see just that thrill of fear behind the façade. Nell was risking something here.
Hannah said, “Don’t worry, I’m not a psycho. I’ll help pay for gas”
The car smelled like cinnamon gum. It was still night and now that the light in the car had turned off, Hannah felt better, maybe because the darkness made her feel anonymous. After flipping through all the radio stations on her preset buttons, Nell turned off the radio. She drove ten miles over the speed limit. The roads were winding.
Too embarrassed to ask what state they were driving through, Hannah just watched the road signs. That’s how she discovered Drake’s secret hideaway was in Idaho. At least the hideaway with the surgeon who removed her implants—Drake might have a dozen nestled villages for all Hannah knew.
As they drove, Nell asked, “So what’s your story?”
“Bad breakup. He took off, and I thought if ever there was a time to leave, this was it.” Hannah leaned her head against the window, glad for the darkness because in the light, Nell might see how much leaving was tormenting her. Hannah asked, “How about you?”
“I’m running away,” Nell said with a twinkle in her eye. Hannah liked her, more than just for the fact that she pulled over and picked up a complete stranger in the middle of the night.
“From?” Hannah almost didn’t ask. She should know more than anyone about dangerous questions.
“This sorority girl stole my boyfriend. We’d been going together since we were sophomores in high school. This girl knew both of us. And it’s not like she even tried to keep it a secret. Once when we were all talking in the commons, she joked to my face, “I’m going to steal Sean. Just a warning.”
“What happened?” Hannah felt a little sick to her stomach. It reminded her too much of high school.
“Turns out it wasn’t a joke. She did it...and him,” Nell clenched her teeth and released the gas when she realized that her story made her speed up.
Hannah said, “I’m sorry. I can totally understand why you’re running away.”
“Oh, that’s not all of it. I’m a lab assistant for a few biology classes and take care of the mice. I sort of released them into the wild. If you consider a sorority house wild.”
That pulled a laugh out of Hannah. She said, “I wish I were brave enough to do something like that.”
Which was really a silly thing to say, because Hannah knew she was brave.
Nell ruefully broke into a grin. She said, “They are going to know it’s me as soon as they figure out where the mice came from. I packed up all my stuff and left.”
“What about your classes?”
“I quit school at the beginning of semester. It costs too much. I’m working two jobs, one on campus and one at the grocery story, which I hate. To be honest it was a relief to quit,” Nell made a brave case, but she was hurt. It didn’t take an empath to see how much he hurt her. “Lonnie wasn’t just my cheating-ass boyfriend, but my roommate, too. Lonnie doesn’t even know he lost his roommate. I packed up all of my clothes and left.”
“But you made her pay. That’s something.”
“I did, didn’t I? I feel like a coward running, but there is nothing for me there. I got even with him, too. I bleached all of his clothes.”
“Remind me never to cross you.” Hannah said.
Laughter pealed through the car as Nell exploded into glee. “That’s a life’s lesson. Don’t get tangled up with someone you’re not one hundred percent sure about.”
Hannah thought of Drake and the way he left the minute he found out she was pregnant and sick. She said, “Boy, you’re not kidding.”
The conversation turned to Hannah. She admitted to being pregnant. By now she was about five months along and beginning to show. The kidnapping and experimentation was too far-fetched to be believed. Hannah kept those weeks buried as she talked about the University of Miami and the Intro to Drawing class she loved, the salamanders that sunned themselves on the sidewalks, the palms that were nothing like the trees from home.
“So what about the guy who impregnated you. He just left?” Nell asked. She stretched her back as if the answer didn’t matter, but somehow Hannah knew it did. She wondered at that, at why Nell would take such an interest in the absent father. Maybe Hannah was just overreacting.
Hannah’s throat constricted. Drake was her first real love, and it was all pretend. Now she had a child that she wasn’t ready for, one she might never be able to care for. How maudlin an ending. With a shrug Hannah said, “He’s got his own life. He asked if the baby was his. I told him it was none of his business and poof he was gone. Off the hook, on the road.”
“Wow. Cold. Are all guys dicks?” Nell chin jutted up a little, her focus on the road unwavering even while she stomped on the gas.
Hannah gripped the handle on her door. She had definitely hit a nerve. The road was a little too dark to be taken at the speed.
“Sorry. It sounds like we’ve both had tough times.” Odd that two strangers could share a car ride and find so much in common. Of course, Hannah wouldn’t have gotten into a car with a guy or a scary woman.
“I’m pregnant, too.” Nell said. In the twilight darkness of the car, the confession made her seem old and tired. She asked, “Are you keeping yours?”
Hannah thought of the cancer spreading through her body and the looming fear of death that percolated in the back of her mind consistently popping out at the most inopportune times. She said, “I’m going to try.”
Nell gave her a look. “What the hell does that mean? You can’t have a kid and just try to raise it.”
“I have pancreatic cancer. I may not survive
long enough for the baby to survive.” Hannah blurted out. Had she thought about it, she would have held back.
Nell grabbed a cinnamon gum stick from the console and pulled it expertly out before tossing the pack to Hannah. She sat silently for a few seconds and forgot to accelerate. “I’m sorry. And here I am whining about stupid crap.”
“We all live our lives from the inside out. It’s okay. I plan on having the baby and beating the cancer. I just can’t take it for granted, you know?” Hannah asked. Her butt was starting to get sore from sitting so long. She longed to stretch her legs, get out of the car, and stop thinking.
“Yeah. Hey, you can stay at my sister’s house for a day or so if you want.” Nell offered.
“That would be nice. I’m going to call my Mom at the next stop. She might send me airfare or something. You said we’re going through Minneapolis. Do you think you could drop me off somewhere there?”
Seeing a rest stop, Nell said, “Sure. I can take you to the airport in Minneapolis if you want.” Indicating the rest stop, she said. There’s one. Do you need to go?”
Hannah said, “Yeah.”
She had a shoe full of dollars but no change. Hannah found the pay phone outside the restroom. It would be six in the morning back home. Hoping for the best, she asked the operator to put a collect call through to her parent’s home.”
Her dad answered.
“Collect call from Hannah McKay.” The operator’s voice sounded bored. Her dad’s acceptance was anything but emotionless.
“Yes. Yes. Of course. Oh my God. Hannah? Honey, are you okay? Where are you? What happened?”
“Daddy? I’m on the road in Montana. There’s a lot going on. Can you come get me?” Hannah felt herself tearing up.
“I’ll be on the next flight out. What town?” Her dad was always the most reserved, most distant man in the room. Oh, he could play for an audience. That was the only time he livened up, when he had a ‘show’ to put on. Now he was only her father. The past seemed to wash away, and Hannah felt like she was five again and really his daughter, not some stranger who said hello at breakfast.