by Jade Powers
“Hannah, I’d like us to date, see if there could be something real between us. From the way you handle yourself, I know you’ll be a good mother. I think you should know that I want to be a good father to this baby.” Drake was in profile. Hannah would have seen a lie had there been one at all on his face, but he was in earnest. Her heart felt so full. Was it possible that she could be loved? That there could be someone on this earth made for her?
“I’d like that. What do you like to do?” Hannah could think of a few things she wanted. She wanted to hold hands with Drake while they walked around the lake at the University of Miami. Not that she would ever go back there, but if she did, somehow she imagined Drake with her. She thought of him sitting next to her in drawing class, and that he would probably be a terrible artist, and they would laugh at his stick figures.
“Hiking. I love the ocean. Maybe we could walk on the beach somewhere.” Drake grinned and the worry lines erased from his forehead making him look years younger.
“Let’s do it. Do you like to draw?” Hannah asked.
“I haven’t drawn since I was a kid. I used to draw a pretty awesome R2D2, though.”
“Maybe we could take a drawing class or something,” Hannah said. She thought it was silly. Drake was far too important and busy for a drawing class. Blushing, she said, “Never mind. That was stupid. I’m sure you’re too busy for that.”
With one hand on the steering wheel, Drake reached out with his other hand, taking hers. He said, “Don’t say that. I’d love to take a drawing class. Let’s plan on it.”
They were silent for a few minutes. He found a small home-style-cooking restaurant and turned into it. Before they got out of the car, Hannah said, “I’m sorry about my Dad.”
Drake turned and watched Hannah. She was staring down at her hands, and from the shame on her face, he knew how deeply her father had wounded her. He said, “You know he’s not your real dad, right?”
“What?” Hannah jumped as if electrified. Her expression was completely surprised and yet believing.
“No. He’s treating you with too much resentment. He was either cuckolded or they married shortly after your birth. Either way, I would bet a thousand dollars you’re not his, and he knows it. That’s why he’s such an ass.”
Hannah giggled. It was an explosion of laughter, almost hysterical. She said, “He really is an ass.”
“Yeah. Don’t let it hurt you anymore, okay?” Drake said. He swooped into the parking lot so quickly that Hannah grabbed the handle on the car. She would be a terrible backseat driver if they ever passed the polite part of their relationship. Drake stopped the car and jerked up the emergency brake. He said, “Do you want to come home with me? I can’t see that a long term stay with your father would be at all good for you, emotionally or physically.”
“Where is home?” Hannah asked.
Drake paused to think. For a moment, he froze, and that moment opened a window into his psyche. He didn’t really have a home, at least not one that was really truly his. Finally he shrugged, “There’s Sun Valley, Denver, or we could stay in New York.”
“As in the city?” Hannah asked.
Drake nodded.
“I’d rather it be Sun Valley. Denver is too close to where they held me prisoner, and New York is too big.”
“Before the end of next year, I’m going to sell the corporation. Soon there won’t be anyone left to manage.” Drake spoke with such authority and strength that Hannah knew he would do as he promised. When they exited the car, she watched how he walked, the strength of his arms, the sure steps. Too bad he wasn’t wearing shorts. She had only seen his legs the one time, but they were fine, muscled and sculpted.
They ate breakfast.
When they got back in the car, Hannah joked, “Do we have to go back to my house? Maybe we could just drive into the sunset or something.”
“We really don’t. I can take you, well, anywhere else.”
“But there’s Mom. She’s been making an effort. She took the week off to be with me.”
Drake slid a finger along Hannah’s cheek, a mischievous smile on his face, “I’ve got an idea.”
He drove to the small airport where his personal jet was parked. He would have his driver return the rental car once they were in the air. In the meantime, this was one of his better plans. He said, “I’ll send the car for your parents. I doubt your dad will join us, but I bet your mom will.”
Chapter 12
AFTER A COUPLE OF PHONE calls, they settled in. Hannah’s parents didn’t answer, so Drake just sent the car anyway. Hannah waited eagerly for the car to pick up her mom. She couldn’t even believe she was thinking like that. Drake’s chauffeur arrived forty-five minutes later, with a pair of suitcases.
Drake watched the joy drain from Hannah’s face, her eyes dull with the knowledge that she was alone. She was a ball of tension, her shoulders hunched, her breath coming in a staccato rhythm. Hannah was trying not to cry. If Drake wasn’t so good at reading people, he might have missed it. She held it in so well.
He put a hand on her shoulder. She leaned back into him, her eyes closing. She said, “I thought she would come. He talked her out of it. I always thought he didn’t want me because he didn’t want children at all. I didn’t realize it was personal, but when I think back to some of my parents’ arguments, I know you’re right.”
He gently tugged her into an embrace. Her hair smelled fresh and he rested his chin on the top of her head. In that moment, he wanted her more than anything. His past loneliness made sense now. Of course he would never be right without this woman. She was tough and vulnerable, strong and tender. He said, “Come home with me. Be my wife.”
Hannah squeezed her eyes shut. This was what she wanted. And exactly what she didn’t want. The memory of a marriage proposal mingled with abandonment by her family. She would always wonder if she answered out of devastation or love. She whispered, “I would like nothing more. But the answer is no until I beat this cancer. We need a chance to be more than lovers. Propose to me again when I’m well.”
Drake held her for a few more moments. He let Hannah pull away when she was ready. She wiped her eyes, silent tears that had fallen when he held her. Drake said, “I’ll wait for you. But you’d better kick this cancer in the ass.”
“I don’t think cancer has an ass, but I’ll erase it completely from my body,” Hannah chuckled.
Drake handed her his handkerchief, and she wiped her face. He held an arm out for her, and she put her hand into the crook. He said, “Shall we, my lady?”
Hannah grinned wider, “Do you read romance novels?”
Aghast Drake put a hand to his heart, “You shock and wound me.” As they walked toward the stairs of the plane, he said, “There were a limited number of novels available when you were in surgery.”
“So you chose Mary Balogh over Tom Clancy?” Hannah teased.
“If you haven’t read a “Simply” novel, you haven’t lived,” Drake said, adding, “Besides, I’d already read the others. They were donations from my collection.” He sounded like he was putting her on, but then he knew one of the romance titles.
“Seriously? You read romance?”
Drake rolled his eyes, “No, I’m teasing.” I saw the book on your bed stand.
As she climbed the stairs with Drake close behind, Hannah felt safe. Safe and warm and happy. She could live with this man forever. As they turned into the airplane cabin, Hannah realized they had the whole thing to themselves. With a wicked smile, she drew closer to Drake and said, “There’s one reason to be grateful my Mom isn’t accompanying us this trip.”
Capturing his mouth in a fervent kiss, Hannah pulled Drake into the airplane cabin. Behind her, she heard a deep throat-clearing.
Hannah swore. She’d forgotten the pilot.
“I’m sorry, Ma’am.”
The pilot was a short fellow with an easy grin that said he was planning to tease Drake as soon as they had a minute alone. Drake might
be the boss, but he and the pilot were close.
Drake enjoyed the blush that crept up Hannah’s face when he said, “I have the prettiest girl in the world on this plane. Let’s get off the ground.”
“Yes, Sir.”
It took a bit of time to get into the air. By that time, Hannah was comfortably seated in the front, looking out the window. Drake was disappointed, to put it mildly. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Want to make mad passionate love in the back?”
Turning toward Drake, inches from his lips, Hannah answered his request with husky agreement, “I thought you’d never ask.”
He leaned forward and kissed her slowly. With arms entwined and lips locked, navigating the short distance to the bed in the back was a challenge. If there was a bump or a bruise, neither lover thought to mention it.
Drake touched Hannah everywhere, his own body in flames. Desire wasn’t a powerful enough word to describe his emotions. He helped her slip out of her jacket, her blouse, and then moved to unhook her bra. The damn thing was stuck.
Hannah laughed, a low chuckle that made his dress pants feel as if they’d shrunk. He said, “You’d best handle the bra.”
As she quickly divested herself of that strange contraption, he divested himself of shoes and pants. Her hands explored his body, the taut muscles in his stomach, the delicious thrill of her hand sliding along his member. His body reacted. Drake groaned.
He growled, “My turn.”
Lifting Hannah, he gently lowered her to the bed, kissing her gently and inviting her to explore him. Her stomach and her round belly enthralled him. There was a little life growing there, a seed he had planted, and he found himself alternatively terrified and thrilled at the prospect.
He found her secret place and smiled triumphantly when she said, “Oh.” with such surprise that he knew he’d found it.
He teased and tickled until her back arched. Her breath came in short gasps. She said, “I need you. Now!”
Drake held back, sliding carefully into her body. She welcomed him. He moved with deliberation, holding back so that he wouldn’t hurt the baby. Hannah moved with him, urging him on until he spent himself inside her.
They cuddled while the plane flew cross-country.
HOURS LATER, THEY LANDED. Hannah and Drake walked together into a room set up to be Hannah’s treatment room. A doctor Hannah had never met greeted her. Drake introduced them. “Marie Prudacheck is an expert in treating cancer in pregnant patients. She comes highly recommended. As soon as I found out about your situation, I sought her out and the experimental research she was doing.”
Marie walked Hannah through the options of her treatment. Drake held Hannah’s hand, and it felt right. Marie surprised Hannah when she said, “We should be able to determine the sex of the baby now. Would you like to know?”
Hannah straightened. She had been anticipating this moment. Somehow in her mind it was a little girl, Noel Hope something. She really needed to ask Drake his last name. She imagined a warm, wriggly little human tugging at her hair and cooing while she sang. Maybe some good had come from all that babysitting she did in high school.
Looking to Drake, Hannah saw her eagerness mirrored in his eyes. She said, “I’d love to know.”
“Will two o’clock work?”
It was four hours away. Hannah nodded. She glanced at Drake, “Would you like to join me?”
Her request transformed Drake’s smile, widening it so far that he was truly beaming. “Yes.”
The four hours passed quickly enough, and they returned Dr. Prudacheck. Hannah stretched on the table trying to relax. Earlier the doc had taken a pint of blood to make the super cancer-fighting blood, and now Hannah felt weak. Even the glass of orange juice didn’t quite make up for losing some of her blood.
Hannah slid her feet into the stirrups and pushed up her shirt to receive the gel. It was cold on her belly. She felt a little insecure with Drake in the room. Funny that. He actually made the baby with her, touching parts of her that had never been touched and here she was worried about his opinion of her growing stomach.
“Are you ready?” Marie asked. It was a fair question. Hannah was scared to death and excited. That baby had suffered with her through the mind-control experiments, the surgeries, and the cancer treatments. She couldn’t bear it if something was wrong.
Leaning back, Hannah said, “I think so.”
Marie moved the paddle across Hannah’s stomach. It took a moment to bring up the baby. It looked like Hannah thought it should. She said, “Does the baby look healthy?”
Marie smiled, “I don’t see any cause for concern.”
Drake leaned close to the monitor. He lifted a finger to the screen, “We made a baby.”
Hannah smiled. Drake was so proud. She asked, “Is it a girl or boy?”
“Girl,” Marie said.
Hannah nodded, her eyes sparkling with the announcement. She turned to Drake, “A girl! I have a name picked out.” For the first time, Hannah realized that she wanted to share this experience with Drake. She wanted him to be a real father to this little girl. She hoped he would want the name she chose. Shyly, she added, “If you don’t mind.”
“What will you name her?” Drake asked. He hoped she would pick something good. He couldn’t very well offer an opinion without first hearing the name. Drake waited with baited breath.
“Noel Hope,” Hannah said, “Do you like it?” Even while they discussed the baby’s name, neither parent could take their eyes off the screen. It was a miracle, the creation of a wee little life. A true miracle.
“It’s a good name,” Drake said. His happy grin and the crinkle at the corner of his eyes didn’t hide any negative opinions or displeasure with her choice. Hannah relaxed.
“Would you like to pick the second name? I picked Hope while I was in Colorado, but I’m not stuck on it. If you want to acknowledge her as your own, I’ll give her your surname. If not, she’ll have mine.” Hannah didn’t want to dance around the topic forever. She needed to know what kind of father Drake wanted to be. He said he was interested in being a father, but she wanted it spelled out.
“Noel Hope Ward. I want to be a father in every way. Hannah, I know this isn’t what you planned for your life, but would you consider a life with me? This is not an unwanted child for either of us, and I find myself more attracted to you with each passing day. Perhaps we fit in other ways.”
Hannah Ward. Hannah smiled.
“There is still the cancer,” Hannah said. It had to be dealt with. Somehow Drake lived in a world that bowed to him, that gave him everything he needed. The universe didn’t always work that way. Sometimes things were insurmountable. Hannah wondered if her only purpose was to have this baby. Maybe that was her point in life. She didn’t see a reason for getting pancreatic cancer so early in her life. Maybe this was her reason for living.
“You’ll win that battle,” Drake said. He held his hand out and helped Hannah turn, a strong anchor for her as she climbed down. She longed for him, an ache that settled in her heart like a shroud.
Seeing her sadness, Drake tilted his head, “What’s wrong?”
Hannah didn’t want to say, didn’t want to admit how much she wanted to be in his arms at that moment or how impossible it seemed that he would be able to love her for more than an afternoon.
“Nothing.”
Drake sensed her need, sensed her desire. He said, “Would you like to join me in my suite for a few hours? I could use the company.”
Hannah gratefully accepted. She needed equilibrium. Drake made her feel too many things. Like a skittish colt, she was a bundle of nerves. Drake was tall and handsome. When her fingers brushed the top of his hand, she felt a deep ache, worse than desire, a hunger that would not be resolved. She felt undeserving of his attention, not good enough. As long as the cancer provided a barrier, Hannah could pretend, but this talk of healing and forever scared her, because she wasn’t sure Drake really meant it.
Drake’s roo
ms were immaculate and sparse with the exception of his music collection. He had a whole rack of CD’s, His taste was eclectic. Drake led her to the couch where they sat.
She fidgeted and wouldn’t look him in the eye. She’d been so tough out on the mountain. This was something else.
Capturing her hands, Drake said, “I’m the same man you kissed in Miami. And in the airplane on the way here.”
He leaned forward, drawing Hannah to him. She turned and met him with a slow kiss. She murmured, “You’re so much more than I even imagined.”
“Just wait until you see my faults,” Drake joked. He deepened the kiss. He hesitated, “May I touch you?”
Hannah breathed his cologne and whispered, “My boobs have been a little lonely lately.”
Drake slid his hands under her t-shirt. He played with her nipples, lightly squeezing and sliding his fingers across her skin. The ache in her heart disappeared under his attention. She drew his head closer and they kissed again, this time with tongues flickering and licking and teasing.
“Do you want to go further?” Drake’s husky voice promised resolution, completion, the feeling of belonging. Hannah wondered for how long.
“Yes.” Hannah whispered.
He lifted Hannah into his arms, causing her to squeal and laugh. If there was a note of hysteria under the giggle, Hannah thought she might be forgiven. Her body felt so alive, so joyous.
Carrying her to the bed, Drake lowered her onto the blankets as if she were spun glass, his eyes caressing her as much as her hands. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered.
The last piece of her soul fell into place. With Drake, she felt beautiful. Until his touch, she had felt lacking in some fundamental way. The words weren’t just on his tongue but in his eyes as well. And that confirmed for her that somehow she was worthy of love, worthy of attention, and indeed, beautiful. She traced her thumb across his brow and let her fingers settle in his hair. Hannah whispered, “Let’s make love.”
Drake made love to Hannah. She brought fire to his cold heart, warmth to a chilled soul. And Drake knew he was in passionate love. The thought scared him. Holding her, he held the universe. It astonished him that he could feel so much just from the days of conversation, from the image of a teeny tiny speck of life, from a woman who surprised him every day with something new.