Wrapping my arm around her back to support her, I help her climb the stairs to the second floor. I try to ignore the lingering guests and savor the sight of the inn as we walk down the hallway, past the front parlor, and up the stairs.
In my bedroom, I pull off the beanie and sunglasses and toss them on my dresser. Aunt Grace locks the door then leans her back against it, staring at me for a few moments. Then she crosses the room to fold me in another hug. “I’ve missed you so much. This past year has been so lonely without you.” She pulls back to look at me again. “I can’t believe you’re alive!”
I pull back from her, stunned. “Year? What’s the date?”
“It’s July 19, 2014. Why? You didn’t know that?”
“No,” I say, running a hand over my face. “I’m way off target.”
“Oh, sweetie, I can’t get over this! God, your body was found burned in that old shack in the woods! I had to bury you!” She holds her hand over her mouth for a second, trying to hold back a sob. “What happened? Is this something like what happened with Nate? Something with the government?”
My heart aches for her, knowing that she’s suffered for over a year, thinking I was dead. “I have something with me that will explain everything,” I say as I cross the room to retrieve the Mind Redeemer out of my pants pocket.
It doesn’t take nearly as long to restore her memories as it did mine. Apparently whoever wiped her mind only erased the few hours surrounding my “death.” How freaking kind of them.
Once she remembers everything, I catch her up on my life in my new time, and when I’m finished, she’s as mad as I am.
“I can’t believe that DT … whatever treated you like that! What did they expect to gain by erasing your memories and lying to you? Did they think you’d run away to see me all the time?” She pauses and holds up a hand. “Wait, scratch that last statement. You obviously did that, but that doesn’t mean you would’ve done it any other time without a good excuse, right?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ve been following the rules. It’s just that I was so upset when I found out the truth. And I found Bridger and gave his memories back because I thought he’d help me, but I’m not sure if he will. He was just as mad as me, but he was also scared.” I pause and dig my fingers into the comforter. “I swear, Aunt Grace, if they had only trusted me with my own memories, I would’ve understood. I would’ve listened to them. But now … I don’t trust anybody from the DTA.”
Even as those words slip past my lips, I know they’re a lie. Sure, I don’t really belong in this time, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have a history here, and a relative I adore. Of course I’d have wanted to come see her, no matter what.
Aunt Grace purses her lips. “Maybe that’s the whole reason. I know you like I know myself. And there’s no way you would’ve agreed to never see me again. Maybe they took your memories to keep you from coming back here and messing with things. Remember how Bridger said the timeline had to be preserved, no matter what?”
“That’s ridiculous,” I reply. “I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the timeline. I don’t see how just visiting you would hurt.”
“Sweetie, maybe that’s just too big of a risk for them take. Even with you.”
I want to tell her she’s wrong, but I can’t. What she said makes sense. It doesn’t excuse the DTA’s decisions, but I can kind of see it from their point of view. I shrug my shoulders. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Of course I am. And as much as I love seeing you, you need to go back. I wish you could stay forever. But if your mom reports you missing, you’re going to find yourself in some serious hot water. And you need to do whatever it takes to convince Bridger to help you find Nate and his own father.”
“I just got here, Aunt Grace. It won’t hurt to stay a little longer. Besides, I don’t know what’s going on with you. Has that psychopath, Palmer, come back? I’m worried about you.” I reach over and clasp her hand.
She squeezes back. “You don’t have to worry about me. I doubt he’ll come around here again, what with all the media attention. And with my new businesses, he wouldn’t dare show his face.”
I perk up. “I suppose that has something to do with the wedding?
Aunt Grace’s expression turns devious, and she laughs. “Oh, yes. After what happened with you, I decided it didn’t make sense for me to sell the house. We had so many memories here. So I kept the inn open, started a catering business, and I also rent out the grounds for weddings and parties.”
I find myself grinning. “I’m so happy for you. But how did Celeste react when you backed out of the deal?”
“It wasn’t pretty, but I really don’t care. Life’s too short.”
We talk for a few more minutes about the people in town, and then the timer on my DataLink beeps. My stomach sinks.
“What’s that?” Aunt Grace asks.
“I forgot that I had set my alarm. I need to go now.” I stand up and grab my jeans and T-shirt off the floor, along with the sneakers. “Do you mind if I just keep the dress?”
“You can take whatever you want.”
I glance around the room, wishing I could take everything with me. Impossible, but I still want to. Instead, I decide to take just one more thing that was important to me while I was here. I search through my backpack, which is still propped against my desk, and extract my old purple sketch pad, the one that I left behind. Clutching it to my chest, I turn to face Aunt Grace. “Okay, I guess I’m ready to go.”
Then the dam that’s been building inside me since I first arrived bursts, and tears flow down my face. Aunt Grace envelops me in a smothering hug.
When I pull away, sniffling, she says, “It’s okay to go. I don’t want you to get into trouble.”
“I’m scared, Aunt Grace. What if the DTA finds out that I know about my past now and erases my memories again?”
“Then you just have to make sure that they don’t find out. I’m also counting on you to find Nate. And when you do, promise me that you both will come see me, at least once. I know you’re not supposed to mess with the past, but Nate used to visit me on my birthday and I don’t think that hurt anything. Okay?”
I nod. “I promise.”
I take a few steps away from her and give her a sad smile. “I love you, Aunt Grace.”
She wipes at her eyes and forces a smile. “Love you too. See you soon.”
Reluctantly, I close my eyes, clutching my sketch pad, my lifeline to the past. I think of the date I need to return to, and of my other bedroom that doesn’t feel like my bedroom. I barely notice entering the Void this time—I’m already numb. When I open my eyes again, I’m standing in my bedroom in New Denver.
And my mom is sitting on the bed, staring at me with a horrified expression. “Where have you been?” she asks in panicky voice. “And where did you get that dress?”
Oh my God, what is she doing in here? I was only gone two hours; she should have been asleep the whole time. I need an excuse—I don’t know if I can trust her with the truth. But all I can do is stand there like a Null, my brain completely empty.
“I thought someone from the DTA had taken you again,” she says, swiping tears from her eyes. “I came in here to check in on you and I couldn’t find you!”
I stare down at the floor, at the stupid silver sandals that I should have left behind, along with this stupid dress. Sure, I thought that Mom would sleep the whole time, but I should have considered the fact that she might not. I don’t know much about her. I don’t know if she likes to wake up early or if she prefers to stay up late. I don’t know her favorite color or her favorite food or what she likes to do for fun. What I do know is that she lost me once and when she learned I was living in the past, she was desperate enough to send Bridger’s father back to find me. Now I feel horrible for hurting her, for selfishly not thinking about how she would feel if she suddenly couldn’t find me. I cross the room and lean down to hug her.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. �
��I just … I just had to do something.” Despite my guilt, I can’t make myself tell her that I went to see Aunt Grace. I have no idea how she would react to that. “I couldn’t sleep again and I remembered that … that I had left this notebook and outfit at my quarters back at the Academy. They were going-away presents from my professors.”
It’s surprising how the lie came out of nowhere, how easily it slipped past my lips.
Mom stares at me for a few seconds. “I have no idea if that’s the truth, but I’m going to choose to believe you because I can’t lose you again. I just can’t, Alora.” She takes both of my hands in her own. “Please promise me that you won’t illegally shift again. You were supposed to have an Inhibitor on this weekend, and if the DTA so much as suspects that you’ve been shifting, I’m afraid they won’t let you come home with me anymore. Or even worse.”
At her words, my chests tightens and it feels as if someone has sucked all the air out of the room. I can’t let that happen, not if I’m going to search for Dad. From what she just said, I don’t think she would report me to the DTA if she knew that I’ve regained my memories. But I’m also sure she would do whatever it takes to keep me from searching for my father.
So I lie to her again.
12
BRIDGER
FEBRUARY 12, 2147
Sunday morning, Grandma takes Shan and me out for breakfast. Neither of us eat very much. We don’t talk much, either. I guess Shan is still too depressed, or whatever is wrong with him. I’m too angry about my memories being stolen, and I’m torn over Dad’s too-brief reappearance. It’s all I can do to keep pretending that everything is fine while I’m around Grandma. The only thing I really want is to punch something.
Then we head straight back to the apartment. More Purists are out today. Many gave hateful looks to us and other Gen Mods, and one idiotic Purist tries to start a fight with a Gen Mod just ahead of us. At least there are still plenty of police officers out patrolling; they immediately take control. Still, the whole time we’re outside, I can’t help but wonder how long it will be until another protest takes place. The Purists are still angry.
As soon as we get back to the apartment, Shan makes for his bedroom. That’s where he’s been all weekend, just playing one Sim Game after another.
“Hey, come back in here,” Grandma calls out to him.
He glances back, raising an eyebrow. “What? You want to talk to me?”
“I want to talk to both of you,” Grandma replies, her steely gaze cutting between the two of us. “Both of you, on the couch. Now.”
Shan give me a what-does-she-want look. I just shrug and sit down. He slumps on the opposite side from me, the leather creaking as he settles in.
Grandma takes a seat across from us, but she doesn’t say a word. I start to squirm. Shan looks down at his hands, his lips pinched together in a sour expression. I can see how Grandma rose to such a high rank in the military—she can be intimidating when she wants to be. That happens to be pretty much all the time.
“I’ve noticed you two aren’t very happy,” she says.
“That’s not true,” I begin, but Grandma holds up a hand.
“That’s complete bull. Shan has been moping around here all weekend. And you weren’t too bad until yesterday, when you came back from the Green Zone.” She takes a deep breath. “So I’ve decided to do something about that. I think we need to go camping for a few days.”
Shan’s head snaps up, his mouth forming a little “o” shape. And me? I’m not sure what to say. I used to love camping. Dad took us a lot when we were little. I carried on the tradition with Zed and Elijah. In fact, last year we used a camping trip as my cover story while I traveled to Georgia so I could illegally shift back to 2013 to find out why Dad wanted me to save Alora.
“Isn’t it too cold? And what if it snows?” Shan asks.
“It’s not that cold. And there is no snow in the forecast. I’ve already reserved our campsite, and I’m not taking no for an answer,” she says, gesturing in the direction of our bedrooms. “So go pack. We’ll head into the mountains tonight and come back Tuesday morning.”
“But what about school?” Shan asks.
“They’re not going to kick you out for missing a few days. With everything that’s happened lately, I’m sure Chancellor Tyson would agree that it’s best for you two to get away. The fresh air will be good for you.”
Shan glances at me, then back at Grandma. “What about Mom? Does she know?”
Grandma sighs. “Your mom would be perfectly happy letting you go.”
I snort. Grandma winks at me, then orders us to get cracking.
I’m nearly finished when I hear loud voices coming from the living room. Shan is standing in the hallway with the guiltiest expression I’ve ever seen on his face
“What did you do?” I ask as I walk down the hall. Shan follows me.
We stop at threshold of the hallway. I immediately spot Grandma, standing in front of the TeleNet on the far side of the living room. Mom is on the screen, her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, and she’s in her royal-blue and black field uniform. Even with dark circles under her eyes, she still looks furious.
I glare at Shan and whisper, “You just had to tattle, didn’t you?”
Shan argues back, in a quiet voice. “I thought she should know. Mom’s in Louisiana, and I didn’t even know if she knew we were here. And now Grandma wants to drag us camping without even asking her? I didn’t think that was right.”
I rake my fingers through my hair, to stop myself from wrapping them around his throat. “Shan, you can be such a furing idiot sometimes. All Grandma wanted to do was get us out of town for a few days. In case you haven’t noticed, things aren’t great around here.”
“Yeah, but …”
“But nothing, Shan. She was just trying to help us. And you had to go and call Mom.” I storm away from him. “It’s time you grew up.”
Shan recoils. “You think I’m stupid and that I’m babied by Mom, but maybe you’re the one who doesn’t get it. Maybe Grandma is doing something that isn’t good for us. Maybe I needed to look out for us.”
“Yeah, right. You don’t know how to look out for anybody but yourself.”
I join Grandma in the living room, where she and Mom have escalated to shouting at each other.
“I never gave my consent for them to stay with you, Judith, and I’m certainly not going to give my consent for them to go camping. It’s too dangerous. There could be Purists hiding in the woods.”
Grandma rolls her eyes. “If you believe that, then you’re a bigger fool than I thought. The mountains just might be the safest place I can take them.”
Mom notices me. “Bridger, I absolutely forbid you and your brother to go with her. I want you two to return to the Academy immediately.”
Grandma’s face flushes. “I’ve heard enough of this nonsense. I have every right to visit with my grandsons. And I’d love to see you try to stop me from seeing them.”
Mom’s lips flatten to a tight line, then she says, “Judith, those boys are my world. I don’t want anything to happen to them. Please, don’t do this.”
“I would never put them in danger, Morgan. They’re all I have left of my son.” Grandma says in a much quieter voice.
Then she deactivates the screen and turns to face me. “Well, that went well.”
I don’t know what to think of that. Mom said we’re her whole world. Not just Shan. Touching, but not really accurate.
I look back at Shan. He’s still standing in the hallway, looking like he could faint. Like I said before, he’s a total mama’s boy. I turn my attention back to Grandma. “So, does that mean we’re staying here?” I ask.
“Of course not. I’m not about to let her tell me what to do. Let’s go, boys!”
It takes us a little over two hours to rent a mobile camping shuttle, travel to the campsite in the Rockies, and set up everything up. I kind of wish we could have used Dad’s old army-green tent
and thermal sleeping bags. He used to say camping that way made him feel more connected to the ghosts we visited on each time trip because it allowed us to experience life the way it was for some people in the past. But since it’s still cold, Grandma figured the mobile shelter would be best. I’ve never used one before. It’s a rounded, silver vehicle about the same size as a small transport shuttle, but it has beds, indoor plumbing, and a tiny kitchen area. This one cost a small fortune to rent. But if anyone can afford it, she can.
“Well, that’s done,” Grandma says when we’re finished setting up the camp. She steps back and admires the view. It’s gorgeous. Nothing but mountains and pines and crisp air. “It’s been too long since I’ve been out here. Leithan and I used to come out here a lot when he was little.”
Shan does a weird double take at her. “You used to camp with Dad?”
“Seriously? Dad used to tell us stories about his trips with Grandma all the time,” I snap. How could he not remember? It was just Grandma and Dad. He didn’t grow up with a father figure, since Grandma never married, instead using a sperm donation from an anonymous Time Bender to have a child. Dad said that she claimed the military took the place of a demanding spouse.
Shan manages to look a bit sheepish. “I don’t remember a lot from back then.”
“Or maybe you weren’t paying attention,” I snap.
Before Shan can reply, Grandma interrupts. “You know what? I have something to show the two of you.”
While she steps inside the camper, Shan spits out, “I wish you’d stop being such a jerk. I really don’t remember things Dad talked about. I just remember having fun, so give me a break. I was a little kid when we did all of that.”
A few moments later, Grandma emerges holding her DataPad. “You might not remember this, but sometimes Leithan would record the two of you out here with him, and he would send the vids to me. It let me keep up with you from afar, since I couldn’t be here all the time.”
Shan and I stand next to her while she taps on the pad a few times and retrieves one of the messages. The time stamp reads August 22, 2137, when I was eight and Shan was four. The message starts with Dad’s face filling the screen, and then he starts speaking. Just hearing his voice makes me miss him even more, even though I know the cloned version of him is still here.
On Through the Never Page 9