On Through the Never

by Melissa E. Hurst

  “Over a month,” Bridger replies.

  “You know what I think? I think he’s been too busy going on whatever missions Anderson has been assigning to him. Try to relax. At least for today.”

  Bridger flashes a grin at me, displaying his dimples. “I’ll try. So what’s been going on with you? Did you ever go in search of your father?”

  Here it is, the moment of truth. Answer honestly and risk rejection, or lie? But I don’t want to lie anymore. Carefully, I say, “I did find him.”

  A tiny crease forms between Bridger’s eyes, and nothing else. “Okay. And how did that go?”

  My mouth goes dry. “Things weren’t that great.”

  I tell him about the Purist compound run by Jode Lincoln, where Dad was practically being held prisoner. How they were threatening to hurt me to control him, how he wouldn’t leave with me because he thought he was a monster.

  “What did he do that made him think he was that bad?” Bridger asks.

  If there was a time to stretch the truth, this would be it. But I don’t want any more secrets between us. Still, I can’t look directly at Bridger as I say, “Dad was the gunman at the museum massacres. They forced him to shift back in time over and over again, until he shot up all the museums that Jode Lincoln had chosen.”

  Bridger’s eyes seem to bulge out and his face flushes. “He what? He was the person who hurt my brother?”

  Oh God, I didn’t think of how that information would affect Bridger. Now he will hate my father forever.

  Bridger starts to say something, but the deafening sound of an explosion cuts him off. Fire and smoke shoot up into the sky to our right. Screams pierce the air like knives, and people begin running, trying to flee the area. Then another blast goes off to our left. And thirty seconds later, another goes off directly across from us.

  I jump to my feet, but Bridger grabs my hand.

  “Wait a second,” he says, his eyes searching the crowd. My instinct is to get away as fast as I can. What if another explosion goes off closer to us? But I also understand what he’s doing—we need to find our friends.

  Elijah and Tara run at us through the throng of people trying to flee. When they reach us, Tara asks, “Did you see what happened?”

  “No. Did you?” I ask.

  “No,” Elijah replies.

  “Have you seen Zed and Everly?” Bridger asks.

  Elijah and Tara shake their heads. Bridger suggests splitting up to find them, but I don’t want any part of that. “We need to stay together, no matter what,” I say.

  They agree and we slip into the surge of people still running past us. My mom and Everly’s find us first—she must have been tracking my DataLink. Mom throws her arms around me, and I feel her shaking. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so happy you’re okay.”

  “Where’s Everly?” her mother asks in a frantic voice.

  “She went with our friend Zed,” I say. “We’re looking for them now.”

  “I’ll track her,” she says, lifting her wrist to check her DataLink. “I thought she’d be with you.”

  I look at the ground. Everly was supposed to stay with me. I hope she’s okay. She has to be okay.

  I glance at Mom, but she’s not focusing on me anymore. Her eyebrows shoot up when she sees Elijah and Tara. And when her eyes land on Bridger, standing off to the side, she looks stunned.

  “It’s you,” she whispers, her face turning even paler. “Both of you remember?”

  My heart skips a beat. Of all the places for her to learn the truth about Bridger and me, it had to be here. But I can’t worry about that now. “Mom, we need to find Everly and Zed. We can talk later.”

  “Right. This isn’t over,” she replies, her eyes slitting at Bridger.

  Everly’s mother points behind in front of us. “I see her! Over there.”

  We all set off, dodging people who are still trying to run away. We call out Everly’s name.

  She turns around, her arms clutched against her chest. I gasp and her mother screams. She’s covered with soot and blood.

  Her mom races to her and yells, “Are you hurt?”

  As we catch up, we hear Everly’s response. “It’s not my blood. It’s not mine.” She’s sobbing, shaking. “He was right there … I left him in line because I needed to use the restroom, but I didn’t get that far when I heard the explosion. I tried … I went back and tried to save him and I couldn’t. I couldn’t save him, Mom.”

  She turns to look behind her, and lets out a wail again.

  Bridger’s face loses all color. Elijah shakes his head slowly in disbelief. Police officers are screaming at everyone to clear the area. What’s left of a nearby food booth is in flames, and injured people are scattered all around the blast perimeter. A few are writhing and moaning in pain. Most aren’t moving. There’s so much blood everywhere. And something else. As we advance, I realize what it is.

  Parts of bodies.

  My stomach lurches and I get a flashback of seeing Dad’s body when he died in 1994, when his consciousness was uploaded by the team of Time Benders who recorded everything.

  And then we see Zed.

  Or what’s left of him.

  32

  BRIDGER

  APRIL 3, 2147

  I’m sitting on the edge of Zed’s bed in our quarters. The room is barren now, devoid of his personality since both of his fathers cleared out his belongings yesterday. I glance down at the shimmery red shirt I’m wearing with a pair of black pants. It’s an antique from the 1970s, with long, loose sleeves. The collar is the worst. It’s long and pointed. I’ve always hated it, but it was one of Zed’s favorites. He said it was his lucky shirt. If only he’d had it on at the Unity Day celebration.

  I’m just happy that his fathers said I could have it.

  My DataLink chimes. I think about ignoring it, but I’m sure it’s Mom.

  “Where are you?” she asks, her face twisted in worry. Her dark hair is pulled back from her face, and she’s wearing a red dress. In the background I can see other people standing, all wearing red, too. She’s already at the memorial ceremony at the Academy’s ballroom in the main building. Red is the color for today, since it was Zed’s favorite. My thoughts drift back to Vika’s memorial ceremony. Everybody wore blue on that day. It feels like forever since that happened.

  “I’m still in my room,” I say. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. Is Shan already there?”

  “He is.” She pauses for a second. “Do you need me to come over there? It’ll just take me a few minutes.”

  “No, Mom, I’m fine. I’m leaving right now.”

  After I disconnect the comm, I look down at the shirt again. Red for Zed. Red for all the blood that covered him and the others who were blown up by those damn Purists. Most of the Purists who orchestrated the mass shootings last month had already been arrested. But more popped up, placing bombs in several cities during their Unity Day celebrations. It’s like a saying about the villains from some ancient movies Dad used to love. You cut off one head, and two more appear to take its place. The ache in my chest begins to expand, threatening to devour me. My breathing grows labored.

  I stagger out of Zed’s room and into mine. Calmer, I need Calmer. Once I grab a vial from my dresser and inject it, I feel less panicky. But the emptiness is still there. I wonder if it will ever entirely go away.

  I wish Elijah was here, but he didn’t come to school today. He’s been having an even harder time with Zed’s death than I am.

  I barely take two steps past the guard posted outside the residence hall before my DataLink chimes. I check it, thinking it’s Mom again. But it’s a text that instructs me to go to the back side of Phoenix Hall. I don’t recognize the sender. I think about ignoring it, but curiosity gets to me. I head to my right, where the Rockies sit on the horizon, then circle around the building. Someone is standing at the rear corner, motioning for me to hurry.

  It’s Ellis.

  He’s still dressed exactly the way he was befo
re—shabby clothes and cloth around his face.

  I storm over to him and grab him by his jacket. His eyes go wide before he does a slick maneuver that easily pushes me away. I’m surprised. He’s stronger than he looks.

  “What’s wrong with you?” he asks. “I told you I would come back right before the bioweapon attack to warn you. It’s going to happen in two days, so you need to be ready to leave tomorrow, when I come for you. Your top priority is to prepare your mom, brother, and Alora to evacuate.”

  “You knew about the Unity Day bombings, didn’t you?” I say, poking him in the chest. “Why didn’t you tell me? One of my best friends died, and if you had said something, I could’ve saved him!”

  He has enough sense to look away. “Look, I’m sorry. But my mission is to preserve the timeline up until the bioweapon attack. That’s the only way I’ll be able to stop it.”

  I throw my hands up. “How could saving Zed’s life change the bioweapon attack?”

  “I know how much it hurts. Believe me, I’ve lost everybody that I love. Everybody.” Ellis inhales sharply and looks away for a moment. “But sometimes sacrifices have to be made. If I had warned you, then that could’ve changed the plans for the bioweapon. Its location, the date it’s detonated—any change would prevent me from stopping it. I need things to go exactly the way they already have in my past. I can only change things at the time of detonation.”

  Anger consumes me. “So what you’re telling me is that it’s just fine for you to come here and prevent the bioweapon attack in order to save everyone you love, but I can’t do the same? And what about all the other people who died in the bombing? Who died in the shootings last month? They’re not important? And what if you can’t prevent the bioweapon from being detonated? Don’t you think we should be warning people instead of trying to get a few of us to hide?”

  “You’re talking about a small number of people, Bridger. I’m talking about billions. Don’t you get it? I’m trying to prevent what amounts to genocide. The only way I can do that is to take out the person responsible for the bioweapon.”

  It’s as if someone poured ice over my head. My body chills to the core. “You know, I do get it,” I say between gritted teeth. “But you shouldn’t discount the people who just died. They didn’t deserve it.”

  Ellis shakes his head, looking sad. “Nobody ever does. Now, can you please be ready tomorrow?”

  “I’ll try,” I snarl before walking away. Over my shoulder, I call out, “Today I have to say goodbye to someone who doesn’t mean a damn thing to you.”

  The last memorial ceremony I attended was Vika’s. It was here at the Academy, too, and I only made it through because I had Zed and Elijah. And now I’m here for Zed’s memorial ceremony. It isn’t right. This shouldn’t be happening.

  I keep playing over and over in my mind the last time I saw Zed. I was a furing idiot for snapping at him. He was just joking. That was Zed: always joking about something. Sometimes it irritated me, how he never seemed to take things seriously. But to be honest, that’s part of why we were friends. He had a way of making things a little brighter.

  The world is a much bleaker place without him in it.

  I look to my right, where Elijah and Tara sit beside me. Elijah is in a black suit with a red shirt, and Tara wears a floor-length red dress. The chairs lining the walls of the ballroom are mostly empty right now while the mourners mingle. I catch snatches of conversations. Some people are reminiscing about Zed. He was well-known on campus. But a lot are still gossiping about the bombing. How the government said we would be safe after they raided Jode Lincoln’s compound and took most of the inhabitants into custody. But clearly we weren’t.

  Yesterday, President Tremblay announced that they had identified Lincoln as one of the Unity Day bombers—and that he had been killed along with the blast’s victims. He was the only one of the bombers who died. Investigators say it appears that Lincoln was going to place a bomb at the food booth where Zed and Everly were waiting in line to get their lunch. But a military officer stationed in the crowd recognized Lincoln and tried to arrest him. But the officer’s gun went off, killing Lincoln. And apparently the bomb was connected to Jode—when he died, it triggered the explosion. Zed was caught up in the blast simply because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

  The feds also learned that while Lincoln had been living on his farm, he’d been stirring up a lot of Purists online. And when the Responsible Citizen Act was passed, it sent him into a frenzy of hate because he and his wife couldn’t afford cancer treatments for their ten-year-old son, just like he said before the museum shootings. Lincoln talked a lot about bringing down the government. But it was all done through secret virtual chat rooms and people that he recruited to train at his farm, including hackers. That’s how Lincoln was able to cover his tracks for so long, until the raid on his farm, when his wife and son and most of his recruits were taken into custody. Apparently Lincoln and the one other person who managed to escape were among the terrorists who planted bombs at the Unity Day ceremony. Fortunately, the others bombers were captured and confessed everything.

  They said only one of the bombers was still on the run. Hopefully they can find him soon. Supposedly, he was shot in the shoulder before he shifted.

  I’m shaken out of my thoughts when Elijah says, “This is so messed up.” He’s staring straight ahead, his face a stone mask. But his eyes are glassy. Tara is holding his hand, trying to make him feel better.

  I focus on holding my own hands still because they’ve started shaking. I should have taken a double dose of Calmer. Because right now I want to hit something. Hurt somebody the same way I’m hurting.

  Ellis is at the top of my list. I should have decked him outside.

  Pressure is building in my head. I absently rub my temples, thinking a migraine is coming on. Then I hear Tara suck air in through her teeth.

  “Who’s Ellis and what did he do to piss you off?” she asks.

  I turn to glare at her. “Don’t ever read my mind again without my permission.”

  She holds up her palms to me. “I’m sorry, but you looked like you were about to wild out over there.”

  “Next time ask,” I snarl. “That’s what normal people do.”

  “Would you two stop it?” Elijah asks, his eyes now brimming with tears. “Now is not the time to bring him up. We can deal with Ellis later.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry,” Tara says to Elijah.

  None of us say anything for a while. It’s too hard. If Zed were here, he’d be cracking jokes or doing something to make us smile. I’m going to miss that about him.

  Tara sits up and waves at Alora, who we can see pushing her way through the crowd. She’s in a knee-length red and gray dress with her hair slung over one shoulder in a braid.

  She’s beautiful.

  I look away, thinking how Zed would have noticed me staring and made a smart remark. I’d give anything to hear that now.

  “Hey, I didn’t think you would be here,” Tara says once Alora reaches us.

  Glancing over her shoulder, Alora says, “I didn’t either. It took a lot of convincing to get my Mom to let me come today. She really doesn’t want me to come to school at all this week.”

  Her eyes seek out mine. I know what she isn’t saying. Her mom doesn’t want her around me now that she knows Alora and I remember each other. Just like my dad doesn’t want me around Alora.

  In the aftermath of the bombing, Adalyn pulled me to the side and told me that she wouldn’t turn us in. But she wanted us to stay apart—she was afraid that being seen together would raise too many suspicions. She’s right. And then there’s my dad and his threat to have Alora’s memories erased again.

  Why can’t everyone leave us alone? Let us live our lives the way we want?

  “Where is your mom now?” Tara asks.

  “She was cornered by Professor March. I figured that would be a good time to slip away.”

  “What about Eve
rly?” I ask.

  “She’s not coming. Her mom is thinking about transferring somewhere else. Somewhere safer.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Tara says. “They’ve caught the people responsible.”

  Elijah starts breathing hard, and he stands abruptly. “I’ve got to get out of here. I can’t do this.”

  He doesn’t wait for us, and we rush after him. He heads to the double doors that lead to the lobby of the main building. We catch up to him leaning his forehead against the glass wall facing the campus. Tears stream down his face.

  I don’t know what else to do other than hug him. Behind him, Tara and Alora both have tears sliding down their cheeks. The only reason I’m numb is because of the Calmer. Otherwise I’d be a sniveling mess right now.

  We stand there for I don’t know how long. When Elijah finally pulls away from me, he wipes his face and says, “Can you imagine what Zed would say? He’d be laughing and calling us a bunch of babies.”

  “Or worse,” I add.

  “I wish I’d known him better,” Alora whispers, coming to my side. “I didn’t know him long, but he was my friend, too.” Her eyes seek out Elijah and Tara. “Just like you’re my friends. I don’t want to lose any of you.”

  I think about Ellis again. How he claimed everything had to happen in a certain order so he can stop the bioweapon detonation. I get what he’s trying to do. And yet, how could he let so many people die the other day? Fifty-seven people lost their lives.

  And I remember what Dad said to me the last time I saw him. That General Anderson has been manipulating events because he claims they had to happen to maintain the timeline. What if the DTA has been doing other things like that? Going back and making minor changes to suit their needs, using Anderson’s excuse as justification?

  I’m sick of the DTA lying to us. Lying about what happened to me and Alora, taking our memories. Lying about the existence of Dual Talents. Lying about not cloning people anymore.

  Surely if they can get away with those things, then we can too.