by Cindi Madsen
“But you can’t promise that.”
“I can. I planned on demanding you go to lunch with me—I wasn’t going to ask. In fact, I was just going to pull up at the restaurant and bark at you to get out. Then I was going to order your food for you.”
I shook my head, fighting the smile, because then he’d think I was cool with this. He slid his hand down my arm and laced our fingers together. He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and then walked toward the group of guys waiting for us.
He introduced me around, and I felt like a judgmental jerk, because they were all so friendly, well-spoken, and honestly, most of them quite good-looking—maybe racecar drivers and their crew members were the new most eligible bachelors to look out for. If you could deal with their reckless driving and the fact they did it for a living.
The lead instructor, Hamilton, talked about the cars’ features, and how these two were sturdier than a stock car. Even after he detailed the lengthy list of safety features, my nerves remained stretched to the fraying point.
Then Linc and I watched a twenty-minute video, because apparently that was enough to teach newbies how to drive.
“Ready to ride?” Hamilton asked, holding out two helmets, one to Linc and one to me.
For a long time, the only person I had silent conversations with was Ivy, but right there Linc and I had one. A quirk of his eyebrow to ask if I wouldn’t reconsider. A slight shrug on my part, because while I couldn’t stop thinking about that day on the freeway, there’d only be two cars on the track, and after all of my outings with Linc, I hated the thought of him doing it without me almost as much as I hated the thought of getting in the car and having a panic attack.
Maybe even more, which was super crazy.
Then Linc stepped closer and put his hand on my neck. My pulse leaped under his touch and a swirl of heat unfurled in my chest. “I wanted to do this with you, but I’m not going to force you. I would never purposely put you in danger, and I’d love your input when I write up this article. Either way, I am going to take you out to eat after”—he flashed me a teasing smile—“but the driving part is totally up to you, because I’m generous like that.”
“Generous, huh?”
“In many, many areas,” he said, his voice dipping with innuendo.
I bit my lip, and I swore Linc’s gaze zeroed in on the motion, which only made it harder to think.
“I know I won’t be in the same car, but I’ll be on the track, and I’ll be waiting for you at the end. I asked for the best guys, and I know Hamilton will take care of you.” Linc raised his voice and glanced over his shoulder. “You’ll take care of my girl, won’t you, Hamilton?”
My heart skipped a beat at the my girl, and it added a thread of longing to the need and desire pumping through my body.
“You have my word,” Hamilton said.
Linc turned back to me, his eyes so blue they matched the cloudless sky. And then that one eyebrow cocked up.
“I doubt I’ll ever get another chance like this,” I said, and while my voice came out shakier than I would’ve liked, at least I’d managed to push out the words. “It’d be a shame to regret it.”
“I bet you even have a quote about regrets you could use right now.”
“Well, I did have a full breakfast of affirmations today, so…”
The smile that curved his lips made happiness echo through me, even though it was fighting off a heavy dose of apprehension. Linc always made me feel so much at once—too much, probably, but it’d been a long time since I’d felt so alive.
It’d also been a long time since I’d fallen so far from my own program. My decisions weren’t well thought out, rational ones based on research. They were all with my heart. I always told my clients to follow their hearts, but make sure to take their brain along for the ride, and here I was, ignoring my own advice again.
Let’s put that away to analyze later. Be in the moment; be in the moment.
Of course we had to sign our lives away first, which put a significant dent in the amped up, can-do mood I’d finally achieved. Something about signing your name to a paper that said you wouldn’t hold them responsible for your death made it impossible not to think about death, death, death.
Linc reached over and squeezed my shoulder, like he knew I needed a little reassurance.
Dressed in fire suits, helmets in hand, we approached the cars.
“See you after a few laps,” Linc whispered as he kissed my cheek, just a quick touch of soft lips and a brush of whiskers that made my skin hum. He walked over to the car with his instructor and dove in feet first as instructed.
Oh holy hell, the door doesn’t even open. Am I really going to do this?
Linc flashed me a thumbs-up, and then I was shoving myself through the window, feet first, because I’d obviously lost my mind.
Hamilton belted me in, each snap sending my blood pressure higher, and there were a crap-ton of snaps. Part of me was glad for the security of being pinned to the chair, and the other part of me screamed that being pinned to the chair might not be a great idea. Especially if the car caught on fire.
Why, oh why had I watched Rush? I mean, I’d watched it because of Chris Hemsworth, of course, but now it seemed like I should’ve stuck to the Thor and Avengers movies, because at least the Asgardian God of Thunder coming to earth was highly unlikely in real life.
Speaking of, I still haven’t asked Linc for his updated superhero preferences. Surely he doesn’t like Superman, despite his ballgame reference.
That thought distracted me for a moment, but then Hamilton placed his hand on my shoulder, bringing me back to real life and the fact that I wasn’t an invincible superhero. “You okay?”
“Maybe?”
“Don’t worry. Once you start driving, the nerves will go away. We’ll let those guys get a bit ahead of us—you look like the type to try to beat him.”
I turned to insist I wasn’t that type, but Hamilton flashed me a grin. Anyway, I think it was a grin, considering all the gear made it hard to even see.
Linc’s car took off with a spin of tires and a loud roar, and I said a silent prayer that both of us would come out of this unharmed.
Hamilton gave me instructions, and I depressed the clutch and eased it into gear. It’d been a long time since I’d driven a stick shift, but Daddy had a truck that took every ounce of my strength to switch gears, so I’d learned on the toughest. How much harder could a racecar be?
Turns out, the shifting was easy. The car accelerated like a dream. It didn’t even feel like I was going that fast, the way smooth-running vehicles tricked you into accidentally going ninety miles-an hour. Then, when the policeman pulled you over and told you how fast you were going, you insisted it couldn’t have been that fast.
But there were no cops to worry about. Linc’s car was even a ways in front of us. All those sayings about becoming one with whatever thing you’re working with? Well, I became one with the car. The track. The orange needle pushing into the one hundred twenty range.
“Right, right,” Hamilton said, reaching for the wheel, but I took care of it before he had to jump in. “Good. You’re doing great. Go ahead and give it just a little more.”
I pressed down on the accelerator, and the force pinned me to my seat, the same feeling as when an airplane tilted up into the air during take off. I gripped the steering wheel and enjoyed the flood of adrenaline soaring through my veins.
Then Hamilton told me to slow it down. Apparently we’d gone eight laps already. I pulled up to where I’d started, and the pit crew whizzed into motion. I climbed out of the car and peeled off the helmet and the fire suit. Even the humid air felt cool after all the hot layers.
I glanced up as Linc rushed over, and he immediately pulled me into a big bear hug, going so far as to lift me off my feet. “You okay?” he asked.
I nodded, and okay, a giggle came out. “It was awesome. Did you have fun?”
“Hell, yeah.” He set me down, but kept his a
rm securely around my waist. Linc asked a few more questions, not bothering to write down the answers, and then we thanked the crew. They told us to go into the clubhouse and grab a drink and whatever else we needed.
Linc led me inside the building and we both sighed in unison as the A/C hit us. We shared a smile, too, and then the air did that shifting thing it seemed to do whenever we were together.
His steps slowed, and he used the hand holding mine to draw me closer.
Attraction and adrenaline crashed, until the space between us crackled with it. Then, like his lips had become magnetized and I was useless to the pull, I tipped onto my toes and kissed him.
He didn’t waste any time reciprocating. I don’t even know where the room came from, but one minute we were in the hall, and the next I was being pushed through a doorway, into a deserted office. Linc pressed me against the door and deepened the kiss, rolling his tongue over mine.
A click sounded as he reached behind me and turned the lock, and then his body pinned me in place, every inch of us from shoulders to hips melded together. Still I arched against him, wanting more. He groaned, and the urgency and need coursing through me fired hotter.
He wound his fingers through my hair, tugged my head to the side, and lowered his warm mouth to the rapidly beating pulse point at the base of my neck. I could sense rational thoughts trying to poke through, but then he slid his hand between us, his fingers dipping low enough that all thoughts besides more and yes faded away.
Within a few moments I was panting, moaning, and arching into his touch. Once I tumbled over the edge, he kissed me hard on the mouth. Then he peeled off my shirt and tossed it aside. I tugged his shirt off and ran my hands over the firm muscles, loving the way they twitched under my touch.
My body continued to tremble, from satisfaction and anticipation for more. One slow inch at a time, Linc slid my jeans from my hips until they fell to the floor, and I kicked them aside, happy to be rid of all the fabric that was getting in the way.
Which meant his jeans needed to go next, and I wasted no time undoing the button and zipper.
Linc swore under his breath, and I froze. “What? Is someone coming?”
“No. I…I don’t have a condom.”
“In my purse.”
The relief on his face nearly made me laugh, but then he made quick work of the wrapper and backed me onto the desk. I turned into a puddle of liquid lust, every cell in my body short-circuiting.
A nagging, stupid gnat of a thought rose up, buzzing about all the steps I was breaking, but we were far past the point of no return. It’d been too long since I’d had sex, and I wanted it with Linc. I’d wanted it for a long time, even though I knew I shouldn’t. I’d driven over a hundred miles an hour today. What was one more reckless action?
Especially one that’d be so much fun?
No thinking about the crash.
Linc leaned over me, hands braced on either side of my hips. His lips touched mine and that delicious delirium I craved took away all the pesky thoughts.
Our first time had been urgent and frantic, and while this had that same edge, Linc took his time, bringing me to the brink, and then going so torturously slow. I finally wrapped my legs tighter around him and bit his shoulder.
His harsh exhale stirred my hair. He released a soft laugh, and then he kissed me like I was oxygen and he’d been underwater for hours. I clung onto him and kissed him right back, until both of us tumbled over the edge together, a string of moans and names and taken and given breaths that made it feel that for the moment at least, we were one.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Linc pulled up in front of my building, and silence descended as he looked at me. A slow smile spread across his face and butterflies erupted in my stomach, fluttering all the way up to the spot over my heart.
He leaned in, kissed me, and rested his forehead against mine. His fingers tangled in my hair, and I waited for my skin to tighten uncomfortably—I even brought my shoulders up out of habit, but then I realized the only thing I felt at the touch was happiness. My muscles relaxed and I sighed as he dragged his thumb across my cheekbone.
It’d been pretty embarrassing to come out of that room, tugging at our clothes and undoubtedly flushed, my lips tingly and slightly swollen and my heart rate still twice as fast as usual, only to run into our driving instructors.
Hamilton had laughed and said, “Yeah, that’s a pretty common reaction after the adrenaline rush of the track. Makes you crave other rushes.”
I’d blushed, thinking a gentleman would’ve pretended not to notice—or at least kept his mouth shut at the very least—but then Linc tightened his arm around my waist and said, “Well, we’ll leave you two to the room, then.”
The guys had laughed and I couldn’t help but join in, even as my cheeks continued to flame. I’d never gotten so carried away that I hadn’t cared about when or where. Except for maybe the first time I had sex with Linc, but we’d still been in a house and a room with a bed.
Oh my gosh, I slept with Linc again.
What does this mean? Am I stupid? A masochist? Delusional?
“Uh-oh,” Linc said. “You’re starting to over think this, I can tell.”
“Am not,” I said, because I was really good at arguing.
Linc brushed his lips over mine and an electric current traveled through my body, down to my toes. Suddenly I wanted to be stupid and masochistic and delusional, and most of all, I wanted to bask in this euphoric afterglow, not question it.
“Sorry we had to rush lunch.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. “Even though it’s kind of your fault that we didn’t have time for more than fast food.”
“Just mine, huh?”
His lips moved to my neck. “Okay, maybe a little bit mine, too.”
I grinned, letting my mind drift back and relive our office escapade without the worry getting in the way. Add the adrenaline-filled spins around the track and this had pretty much been the perfect day.
“Hey, this is totally silly,” I said on a shallow breath, remembering the thought I’d had on the track when I’d been fighting off a panic attack, “but I keep meaning to ask you… Is your favorite superhero still Wolverine? I thought maybe after all the new movies you might’ve changed your mind.”
He pulled back to look me in the eye. “Is your favorite still Jean Grey?”
I thought about it for a second. While I dabbled in cheering for a few other heroes, and certainly appreciated their eye-candy appeal, when it came down to it, I had to stick with my girl. “Yes.”
“Then I’m definitely still Team Wolverine—he’s kickass, has the killer claws and regenerative powers, and despite Cyclops being in the way, Jean loves him the most, you know.”
“I think Wolverine is just cocky enough to think that,” I said, and then I initiated the next kiss. Back in college this would be where we debated the merits and why our chosen hero was better, but now that we were kissing, none of those details seemed worth going into at the moment.
Linc stole a glance at the clock on his dashboard and groaned. “Unfortunately, I’ve got to go to work now.”
“Yeah, and even though I’m still full from our late lunch, I need to rush to my parents so I make it in time for dinner. Not to mention catch up on everything I’ve been neglecting lately. I have a meeting with a reporter tomorrow for an interest piece she’s doing in conjunction with the mayor’s wedding, too. I should probably think about preparing for that.”
“You’ll do great.”
Luckily I had a lot of experience with public speaking and talking about my program, so my main worry was the time it’d take from the rest of my massive to-do list. For a moment I toyed with calling Mama and telling her I couldn’t make it to dinner, but it’d be faster to simply go than explain why I couldn’t and deal with all the guilt trip phone calls afterward.
I picked my purse off the floor. “Well, I’ll let you go. Thanks for bringing me with you to drive the racecars. It
was…exhilarating.”
“As exhilarating as it was, I think my favorite part was after.”
Excitement swelled, but I held it at bay the best I could, afraid that letting myself tiptoe into twitterpated territory would eventually lead to a crash. What did I tell my clients when they hesitated to let another guy in?
It’s okay to believe in love again. Of course, that was after the guy had proved to be red-flag free.
Linc slid his hand behind my neck and drew me closer. “Savannah, I’ve wanted this for so long.” A weird sense of déjà vu took over, making it hard to focus on the moment without wondering why it seemed so familiar.
Using his grip on my neck, he closed the distance between us and pressed his lips to mine. I wrapped my hand around his biceps and fell deeper into the kiss, slipping my tongue into his mouth for another taste. His moan vibrated against my lips and sent shock waves down my core. I’d told myself before that passion wasn’t everything—that chemistry could grow over time. But I’d obviously forgotten how powerful a kiss from a guy you had off-the-charts chemistry with could be.
It made everything right with the world. Made you believe love could conquer all.
Maybe it could.
Yes, there were some past issues, and I’d broken a lot of my rules, but maybe…maybe he and I were the exception.
Hope and desire swelled, and I dragged my hand down Linc’s whiskered cheek.
Despite the many red flags, I wanted to believe he and I had a long, happy future.
They say ignorance is bliss, but right now, I was thinking delusional optimism seemed way more blissful.
…
With her full-skirted, yellow dress and red, beaded necklace with matching heels, Ruby Upton, reporter for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, embodied the perfect mix of classy and down-home charm, which no doubt made people feel perfectly safe opening up to her.
I’d suggested meeting at the Daily Grind for the interview, because one, caffeine, and two, familiar, cozy setting with an easy vibe. We even scored the two cushy chairs in the back.