by Fiona Murphy
“Easier on you, but what about your child? Are you thinking at all about what you’re keeping your child from experiencing? You would keep them from having a father in their life, to guide them and give them insight only a man can provide, simply because it’s easy.”
“Are you saying a child has to have a man in their life to grow up whole and happy? I never knew my father and I’m better for it. There are thousands, millions of women who are single parents doing the best they can.”
“Because they have to. If a woman chooses to be a single parent, she’s incredibly selfish, and she may find out in the end her child resents her for depriving them of what they could have had.”
“How dare you judge a woman who decides to be a single parent as selfish. You speak from a level of privilege most of this country can’t even comprehend, moneywise and as a man. Because men get to have it all or walk away without a backward glance, you’re judging a woman for daring to do the same thing. As if having a man in a woman’s life or a child’s life is the end all and be all. It’s fucking archaic. You’re speaking from experience because your life was so enriched with your father?”
I flinch at the direct hit. The horror on her face couldn’t be faked. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
I’m done, beyond done. “Temperamental, impulsive, and a control freak. I pity your as-yet-to-be-conceived child with you alone as its parent.”
Without a look back, I walk away, grabbing my shirt from beside the bed then my jacket from the couch. Well, tonight was a complete fucking disaster. At least I found out before I got too deep, before I did something incredibly stupid.
***
Chloe
I lose track of time. It doesn’t help I knew what was going to happen or that it’s what I wanted to happen. Enzo has left the building, never to return. He’ll get as far away from me as he can. No more flashing dimple, teasing, or amazing nights at the opera. He’s probably wishing he had never walked away from that business deal to come back tonight.
Suddenly Russell is knocking on my door. “What’s the matter, pussycat?”
“Nothing, just a minute.” I grab my leggings and tug them on. “Where have you been?” I ask as I open the door.
“Uh, uh, don’t answer my question with a question. Que pasa?”
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter. I was too damn honest, and Enzo told me I was stupid and selfish, and I managed to fling up the whole his-father-killed-his-mother thing and generally made a complete ass of myself. It doesn’t matter though, it’s done. He’s gone, better now than later.”
Russell rolls his eyes then tugs me out of my room to the couch. “You told the guy you want to fuck you want to have kids through a sperm donor, and considering he wants to fuck you too, he hit back at you. Damn, girl, you have a weird way of getting a man’s attention.”
“I didn’t do it to get his attention. I did it to make him go away. We wouldn’t last longer than a bottle of wine at a book club. Better he leave now than later, once I’ve gotten attached.” Russell caught me on the sperm donor website months ago, leading to an hours’ long conversation over way too much wine about what we both wanted and hoped for. I was surprised Russell admitted he wanted to adopt a whole bunch of little girls.
“Whatever, you did it to bait his ass. You wanted to know if he was really in or out.”
“I wasn’t baiting him. I know what I want. I want kids and I want them while it’s still relatively easy to have them. There’s no time to waste on Enzo Sabatini.”
“Don’t even try it. You wanted him to care, you baited him. No, don’t, Chloe, I’ll give you all the babies you want, you don’t have to go to no sperm bank, I got plenty to give. I also know gorgeous Enzo only got married to the gold digger ex because he wanted kids. So you were making sure he knew you wanted kids as of yesterday. You’re ready, willing and able to be his baby mama.”
Even as I shake my head, a little voice is calling me a liar. I did bait Enzo. As if he really cared; what the hell is the matter with me? Having a child with Enzo Sabatini would be a thousand times worse than pretty much any other man out there, for all the reasons I shouldn’t want to even fuck him.
“You know, I don’t think it’s as much of a disaster as you think it is. Sabatini is all for outside of the box, he likes strong women. He’ll respect you not waiting for a man, that you have your shit together. Then your cherry on top is you’re practically Italian after living there for so long, you speak Italian, you love the food, you can cook the food.”
“How the hell do you know so much about Enzo Sabatini?” I eye him suspiciously.
“Hello, in my office we study men like Sabatini, Kaplan, Markhoff, the billionaires in Chicago who do so damn well we’re all secretly convinced they aren’t playing fair. We’re trying to figure out how they do what they do so maybe we can do it too.
“Also, you forget I was watching him like a hawk when he carried you upstairs last night. Girl, it was so damn romantic, he was all concerned about you. I can’t even carry more than three bags of groceries upstairs at a time, and he was carrying you like you was Cetta or something. I have a feeling he’ll be back sooner than you think. Give him a minute to adjust.”
Closing my eyes, I remember Enzo’s outrage. I’m not going to hold my breath. “I don’t want to think about it right now. Where have you been?”
A giggle comes out of him. “Adam isn’t a homophobe or a racist, he’s a silly boy who didn’t understand how to show his hand. We got into it at work for the billionth time, and Tom sent us out to lunch to get our shit together. Hmmm...we got into the cab, came back here and we worked it all the way out. Our lunch ran a teensy bit late. He wanted me to sleep over but I’m making him work for it a little more.”
“You slut. Good for you. I had wondered about how over the top you made him seem at times.”
“Yeah, he wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing considering when he started he had a girlfriend. Apparently he dabbled in college but didn’t think it was serious. He broke up with the girlfriend, though, when he realized he wasn’t as into her as he should be.”
“I’m happy for you, and not in the teensiest bit jealous.”
“Ah, you’re such a shitty liar. Wine?”
“No, I want to go to bed and slip into oblivion.” I get off the couch. Leaning down, I kiss his cheek. “Night.”
“Night.” I stumble into my bedroom and push off my clothes, but when I get into bed there’s no sleep, no oblivion. There’s just Enzo’s eyes, wide with shock and pain as I flung his father’s sin in his face.
9
Enzo
“Oh Dante, it’s beautiful. I love it. I want it.” Bethany exhales.
“Babe, we haven’t even made it out of the foyer. There has to be a reason Enzo didn’t pick this one.”
“I told you already, there wasn’t enough room for a pool and the other one’s lot was more private.”
Bethany’s forehead knots. “This isn’t private? We’re on the corner and it didn’t seem like anything was right behind us.”
I shrug. “It’s not bad, but I prefer the other one. Take a look for yourself. I’m starving, I was promised brunch.”
Dante nods. “I wonder where the hell Chloe is. It’s not like her to be late.”
“Chloe is coming?” He sure as hell didn’t mention her when he called me this morning, asking me to show them my place after they finished looking at this house. I would get brunch for satisfying Bethany’s curiosity about what my place looked like.
“Yeah, I figured she’d be able to answer any questions we had. She’s shown this place so many times I’ve lost count. I have some info on it from the listing, but I’ve never been here before. None of my usual clients want anything further north than Lincoln Park.”
Fuck. Before I can make an excuse to leave, the front door opens. Chloe sees me, and her eyes go big as they shimmer a steel gray. She takes a step back, I turn away as I bite my tongue, frustrated by the pr
esence of Dante and Bethany. Those big eyes have dark shadows beneath them, her long hair is in a thick braid I’m dying to undo, and my cock aches at the way the dark blue wrap dress hugs her curves.
“Chloe, I was just wondering where you were. I have no idea where Bethany went...” Dante and Chloe disappear into the house, I step out front, not trusting myself to not say something. Damn it, all over again I’m angry at her. Fucking livid at the idea of her actually going through with having a baby all by herself. And she’ll do it too. Determined, stubborn, beautiful...what the fuck is it about her that makes those things appealing? And if I could get over it real fucking quick, I’d be happy.
Bethany comes out of the house, followed by Dante and Chloe. “Oh my god, I can’t believe your house is better than this one. I have to see it now. Is it really right down the street?”
I nod. “What did you think of the kitchen?”
Dante shakes his head. “It’s not bad. I like Chloe’s idea of blowing the wall out to make it a family room, and open kitchen like we have in the condo. What the hell with the basement? All this time and no one could do something with it? I’ll need to sink in fifty K for it to be livable.”
Chloe is walking toward her car. “I’ll leave you guys alone now. I’m—”
“Woah, no way. I promised you brunch for getting you out here. Come on, you can tell us about the plans for Enzo’s place.” Dante takes it for granted she’ll follow, and she does.
“The basement in mine isn’t much better. That house just seemed like more stuff was needed.”
Bethany sighs as she bumps me with her hip. “It’s not that bad. Don’t harsh my buzz. I can’t wait to make it ours. I think it’s going to be fun picking out colors and tile together.”
“I don’t know, there’s a saying demolition equals divorce, so we’re going to take it easy.” Dante hugs her close as we check the street before crossing.
“We’ll be fine. Those are people looking for excuses. Wow, talk about curb appeal. Stunning. This lot is huge.”
“It’s on six lots. Your place is on five and a half, but there’s two thousand less square feet of house here, which is why the lot seems so big.” I unlock the door, going in ahead.
“Ah, another piano. Are you going to keep yours? I think it will be nice to keep the one in our place and the one Dante already has.”
I shrug. “I’m not sure yet.”
“Chloe mentioned your kitchen isn’t so great either. Ouch, she wasn’t kidding this is way worse than our kitchen. Why are there two stoves?” Bethany asks as she opens an oven.
“I have no idea, but I’m getting rid of them both.”
The tour of my place takes almost twenty minutes before we all head back to Dante’s SUV he bought a few weeks ago in preparation for the baby.
We’re settled in the restaurant, and Chloe is close enough I can smell her light perfume. Christ, I want out of here and as far away from her as I can get.
“I heard from Phil, you went in and out of New York last night.” Phil is our pilot. “What was up? You hate flying in and out.”
“No biggie, it was a bad deal. Yesterday was a shit day. A waste of time all the way around. I never should have gone, but I really shouldn’t have come back so soon.”
Dante frowns, he knows something off. “You aren’t skipping out on tomorrow.”
“I said I was going, I’m going.”
“You aren’t one for wasting time, Enzo. What’s the matter? You losing your touch?” Bethany teases.
“Hardly. It happens, things aren’t always what they seem. Sometimes you don’t know how rotten something is from the inside out until you get up close. No loss long-term though, I got out before I wasted any more time or money.”
“Because money is so important,” Chloe spits out at me.
“It makes the world go round. If you didn’t have enough money you’d never be able to complete your little family plan. Dante, were you aware your VP wants to go through in vitro to have a kid by herself?”
Dante sucks in air as he drinks his orange juice and chokes on it. Bethany bangs on his back. “Breathe, honey.” She looks at me with daggers in her eyes. “God, Enzo, I can’t believe you just drop news like that out of nowhere.”
“It was how it was dropped on me. I figured he might want to know.”
“Fuck you. You have no right to pass judgement on me for my personal life decisions. Go to hell.” Chloe dumps her ice water in my lap.
Then she’s up and gone.
Fuck, that’s cold.
“Jesus, what the hell is the matter with you? Quit being a miserable fuck. Just because you fucked up and got hurt doesn’t give you the freedom to go around hurting everyone else,” Dante yells as he goes after Chloe.
Bethany sighs. “Man, do I miss alcohol.”
“Do you think I’m a miserable fuck?” I lean back, prepared for her to give me her typical honest answer.
She studies me. “Hmmm...I think the wrinkles you’ve acquired over the last two years have given you a very distinguished look.”
“You can’t give me a simple yes or no?” I’m surprised by her lack of response.
“Enzo, there is nothing simple about you or the question. I do think it’s interesting for the first time in almost two years, you are actually showing emotions other than boredom or annoyance. I knew Chloe was going to flip your switch, but I had no idea it would be this big. I’m not going to tell you not to do whatever you’re going to do; I’m not dumb enough to waste my breath. I will say, be careful. Chloe isn’t like the women you’ve dealt with in the past, she’s hard on the outside to protect her soft inner core. And if you hurt her—”
“Yeah, I know, Dante will kick my ass.”
“No, she’ll hurt you right back. The problem with that is it will hurt her too, and you guys will just go round and round. She’s good people, real, genuine, and she deserves the same.”
The memory of Chloe’s face frozen in agony after she threw my father at me flashes brightly. “I think I’ll get my own ride home.” I watch as Chloe gets into a cab at the end of the block with Dante whirling away in exasperation.
Bethany is watching too. “Yep, you might want to exit out the back.”
I laugh. I’m not going out the back. Dante ignores me as I hail a cab. I really wish I’d stayed in bed and ignored his call this morning.
***
Chloe
Slamming into the cab, I try to swallow my sobs, only I can’t. I fucking hate Enzo Sabatini.
“It’s okay, miss. You cry all you want, there’s tissues back there.”
Oh god, this is so embarrassing. I can only nod at the man as I snatch up tissues. At least Dante gave him my address. God, Dante and Bethany. Shame fills me. I was always going to tell Dante, but I don’t know when, later, closer to when I did it and not in a way that made me seem so desperate and pathetic. How dare Enzo spill what I told him in private as if it was no big deal? He was lucky it was water I threw at him.
Stomping upstairs, I resolve to quit. I’m not working for him, fuck him. It’s not worth it. Until I’m lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. Three hundred and fifty thousand dollars for three months of work. With that money plus my investment in Enzo’s fund, it would be the perfect down payment on a multifamily property without me having to touch my savings. I need that money. No, fuck him. I’m not going to make anything easy for him. If he wants me gone, he’ll have to fire me. God, is it too early for wine?
10
Enzo
My phone ringing pulls me out of a restless sleep. Damn it, I got no sleep last night, and the clock by the bed tells me I only got another hour from the nap I was taking. It’s Bethany. “Yeah.”
“You’re coming, right?”
“I said I would be there.”
“Then why haven’t you left yet?”
“I’m leaving now, okay?”
“Good, see you in an hour.”
Fuck. I’m still groggy. I decide
to jump in the shower, hoping it will help clear my head.
I don’t bother knocking, the door is open. I’m barely three feet into the family room when Matteo takes a running leap at me as he yells my name. Damn this kid is fearless, and big. He’s grown at least three inches since I saw him at Christmas, it’s only been four months. I catch him close and swing him around, and he squeals in delight. Not one to be left out of the fun, Sophia toddles up to me, demanding I lift her. Fuck, I really thought the whole melting in my chest was going to go away on my orders, but nope, it’s still there as I pick up Sophia. She’s so damn small, delicate, adorable, her giggle as sweet as her smile. Then she demands a hug. Her little arms can’t even go all the way around my neck, but it doesn’t stop her from trying.
It takes almost a half hour to untangle myself from the kids. I make my way outside where Che, Dante, and Dom are standing around the huge barbeque Che is using.
Che nod then frowns the minute he sees me. “Where were you?”
“I’m here, man.”
Dante nods. “At least you look like shit. I hope you feel like it too.”
“What the hell is the matter with you two?” Che looks from Dante to me.
“He’s got a hard-on for Chloe but he’s a fucking twelve-year-old, so he’s hitting out at her. He made her fucking cry yesterday and didn’t even blink.”
Che shakes his head and sighs. “Fuck, Enzo. Chloe is an awesome woman, but she is not for you. No man, just no.”
Straightening in surprise, Dante hits Che on the arm. “What the fuck are you talking about? Enzo would be lucky to have a woman like Chloe. He should go down on his knees begging for her to give him a chance.”
“Look, I respect Chloe, I like her—as an employee. As a woman to get involved with, no. She’s got way too much baggage any man would get buried under all of that the way she has let herself be. Enzo’s got enough baggage all on his own. It would be a disaster.”
Dante is offended. “We all have some baggage. Chloe’s has been earned, it’s not her fault she grew up with her mother and grandmother fucking with her head, then some assholes clinched it. At least she isn’t some vapid, gold-digging bitch. She’s real, she cares about people...she’s exactly the kind of woman he needs.”