by J. M. Dabney
Renny finished up with the outline. Recited the aftercare instructions and wrapped his calf in plastic wrap. He paid and ushered Philly outside. He wrapped his arm around her and draped it over her shoulder, tugged her tight to his side.
“You ever going to let me see what you got?”
“Maybe…one day.”
“Mysterious.”
He’d wanted to bring the bike but didn't think if he bought her a dress she'd be comfortable riding on the back with her skirt flying up. Instead, he'd brought his truck. He'd parked in a paid lot a few blocks away.
“I have to pay you back, Bret.”
He'd known it would come, but he'd thought he'd have a bit more time.
“Why?”
“I don't feel comfortable with you buying me things.”
“Do you think I expect something from you if I buy you a present here and there?”
“Not really, but…”
Sometimes getting Philly to talk to him was like banging his head against a wall. He felt for every step forward they took together he’d inadvertently knock them back two with a statement or an action.
“But what, baby?”
“It's weird.”
“You've taken care of yourself for seventeen years. I'd like to spoil you a little.”
“I don't know why you'd want to spoil me.”
He pulled her to a stop and flexed his arm to bring her flush to him. Philly's arms went around his waist, and she rested her cheek on his chest. His woman liked when he bestowed her with affection. Hugs, cuddles, the occasional innocent kiss to her cheek or forehead. He knew she'd gone without those basic displays and he wanted to make up for lost time.
He walked forward, taking her with him as he moved them from out of foot traffic on the sidewalk.
“Let me tell you something, Philomena Kilmer, I've wanted you for a long time. I want to take you on dates. Get to know all those secrets you've kept over the years. I want you to see me as someone you can trust and give a chance.”
“I just don't understand why. I'm just me.”
Her voice was soft and almost drowned out by the traffic on the street, but he didn't miss the way she drew patterns on his chest.
“And you're special. I always thought so. Even when you were in my class. Then I saw how strong you were raising Miles on your own. You didn't let any of that get you down. I know you hide a lot. But, baby, it's okay to break sometimes and let someone take care of you. You're not alone. I’ve spent the last fourteen years wanting to take care of you. I did what I could to help with Miles. In my gut, I knew you wouldn't let me be what I wanted to be to you.”
“I liked watching you and Miles with your heads pressed together as you worked on his homework. Or giving him batting advice or advice for whatever other sport he wanted to play. You helped a lot, more than you'll ever know. I always felt that Miles needed a male influence, someone strong and capable. You were, and sometimes his favorite stories about school or activities were about spending time with you.”
“You should've said something.”
“I never thought I was a good enough parent. It was always the two of us, and I didn't do all those boy things. I couldn't throw a ball to save my life.”
“That's what I was around for. I hated having to hold back because I felt my interest wouldn't be welcome because of who I was. Fifteen years older. You remember the night I stopped by with the pizzas?”
“Yes, I was so nervous to be alone with you. My main fear was because I had Miles so young that men would expect things from me.”
She gripped the sides of his t-shirt and rubbed the soft fabric as if trying to comfort herself. He didn't like that she felt she needed that comfort. All he'd ever wanted to do was make sure Philly was okay. However he could do that, he had.
“Baby, how many times do I have to tell you that I know what happened and it was in no way your fault.”
“Some guys would come into the diner and try to get me to go out to their places after I got off work.”
Rage hit him at the thought of someone else touching her. Assuming they had the right to proposition her.
“They were wrong to do that, and I'd ask for names, but I'm sure you wouldn't give them to me.”
The small tilt to the corners of her mouth called to him to brush kisses to those subtle curves of her beautiful, lush mouth. He'd imagined kissing her—loving on her—for longer than he wanted to admit.
“I didn't just run into Miles. He came out to see me because he wanted to talk.”
“What did he want to talk about?”
“If I was interested in you?”
Philly opened her mouth to say something and shut it, then seemed to try again.
“Baby, I was and am, but he asked was the reason I never tried anything because I didn't want a package deal. That was the farthest thing from the truth. I would've been proud to say Miles was my son and if you ever let me, I still would. I was so proud of everything he accomplished. Every A he showed me when I came to the diner. Every picture he drew and wanted me to have.”
“I never had to share my baby before.”
“But you did, you just didn't notice you were.”
“Do you really want to…” Philly paused and attempted to look everywhere but at him.
“No, I want you to look at me so you can see that I mean what I say.”
He gently tucked his curled fingers under her softly rounded chin and waited until her gaze met his.
“Ask your question.”
He didn't care that they were on a public street. Pressed close like lovers. The only thing that was important was Philly started to believe him.
“You really want to be with me?”
“Very much, but whatever happens needs to be your decision. You'll have to make the first move.”
Telling her that, he knew it was going to kill him. He'd already waited years to have Philly. So many of them wasted and all out of some sense of what was appropriate. He’d wanted Philly since she was barely legal. If they hadn’t lived in a small town, he probably wouldn’t have thought twice. Although, that wasn’t the case. In Brand, everyone knew everyone, hell, gossip traveled at the speed of light. He couldn’t take the chance she’d be even remotely hurt by comments made about them.
“Me?” she asked, and her voice cracked.
“Yes, you. So, as much as it pains me to say it, I will wait for you to take advantage of me.”
He chuckled at her cute little snort and the roll of her pale, brown eyes. She leaned her head back against the side of the building.
“Who says I want to take advantage? Maybe I'm happy with being friends.”
“I'll be utterly crushed, but I think I'll survive. Miles going to be home tonight?”
“Well, last I heard he was going to go with Klein to a horse auction.”
He liked the ranch hand. The young man was hardworking and respectful, but Klein was twenty-one. Klein would be gone for a week. He trusted Miles, but he just wasn't so sure about Klein and Miles being alone in motel rooms.
“Klein took Miles with him?”
“Yes, is that a problem?”
“He's only seventeen, should he be going away with grown men for a week?”
“You do know that he's going to be seventeen and away at college with grown ass men?”
“Maybe he'd like to take a year off—”
He stopped talking at her loud laugh and the push of her hands against his chest.
“I'm well aware that my son hasn't been a virgin for at least a few years and he knows how to protect himself. Besides, I think him and Klein may have thought about getting involved when they were both in high school. I don't think anything happened then because Klein was leaving for college. Maybe that'll be the case this time, but I know my son was heartbroken when Klein left town.”
“You're not making me feel any better.”
“Take me shopping.”
“Your distraction will only last so long.�
� He took her hand in his and continued down the sidewalk. Her arm brushed against his, and she pushed closer when people passed.
“Should I cut my hair?”
He jerked his gaze down to the top of her curly, black hair. “Absolutely not. Your hair is gorgeous.”
“It always looks a mess even when I put it up.”
“It looks sexy, don't touch it.”
She gave him a fleeting glance and then turned her attention back forward.
“No one has thought something about me was sexy before.”
“I think you're wrong there. After I started noticing you were an adult, I always thought you were. Now, let's go get something to wear for dinner. Since Miles won't be home, do you want to stay here tonight?”
“What about Clayton?”
“Except for the speech issue and the slight weakness, he's healthier than he ever was before. If it makes you feel better though, I can arrange to have someone stay with him.”
“What would we do if we stayed here?”
“Nothing unusual. Have dinner. Hang out. Maybe go see a movie.”
“I haven't stayed away from home before. Not have to worry about Miles or work.”
“It'll be like a mini-vacation. You deserve it.”
Philly nodded in agreement, and he made a mental list of everything they'd need for the night. He just wanted Philly to be able to experience the things she hadn't in her life. Her life revolved around Miles and work, while there wasn't anything wrong with that, she was only in her early thirties; Philly had so much time left. They walked around until they found a store with dresses in the window.
He stood back as Philly smiled at him while she searched through the racks. Philly was so beautiful and innocent, and she'd missed out on so much, but he was going to make sure she made up for lost time.
Philly Shouldn't Be There
She hadn't thoroughly thought out this spending the night situation. As she heard the room door open, she glanced over her shoulder through the glass balcony doors and watched as Bret entered the room. Bret had run down to the truck to grab the items they'd picked up. A gown for her to sleep in and some toiletries. The room had two beds, but she hadn't slept in the same room with anyone other than Miles in her life.
She made herself not tug at the hem of the short dress she'd picked up. It was a pretty, cream-colored sheath dress and it exposed her shoulders. Nervously she took her hair in her hands and twisted it up into the usual messy bun and tucked the stray curls behind her ears. She stared down at the street and watched the traffic creeping by and tried not to get lost in her thoughts and insecurities. The one thing she had very few issues with was her body. Yes, it was larger than normal in some areas. She’d had a baby, and her body showed it. She’d worked hard to be comfortable in her own skin. Her self-consciousness had more to do with her inexperience with men and dating.
“I hit the drink machine before I came up.”
She pivoted on her toes and leaned back against the metal railing to take the bottle of tea. Bret had changed back into his cargo shorts and t-shirt he'd worn earlier in the day.
“Thank you.”
“I know you're nervous. You don't hide it well.”
“I've never shared a room with anyone, well, except Miles but that's when he was a baby, and I was brea—um, he liked to sleep with me.”
Bret towered over her, and she didn't know how she felt about it. An hour ago, she'd walked down the street and through stores holding hands.
“I feel so stupid.”
Bret took a seat and stretched out his legs, crossing his ankles.
“Tell me why you feel stupid?”
She turned and flopped down in a chair. Then she sighed loudly. She set the bottle down and laced her fingers over her stomach. How do I explain?
“I don't know. All day we've held hands and walked around. We've been alone at my place a bunch of times. I feel…I shouldn't be nervous about being alone with you here. Maybe we should've gone home.”
Bret didn't respond, and the longer he remained silent, the more she wanted to demand an answer or something.
“If I ask you some personal questions, would you answer me?”
“I don't know, depends on how personal you're thinking.”
“You've never had a positive sexual experience with someone, and I'm safe in assuming I'm the only man you've ever been alone with since Miles was born.”
“It's not like I haven't thought about sex. I'm normal”—she paused—“ish.”
Bret's laugh was deep and comforting. She turned her head, and her cheek rested against the back of the chair.
“You said I was your first kiss, so you've never once had a good teenage make-out session.”
“No, I was the nerdy, fat chick in high school. I don't think anyone even noticed me.”
“You weren't fat then or now.”
“I don't have a problem with the word. It's an adjective, not an insult. It would be nice if the top matched the bottom though.”
“Stand up.”
She felt her brows draw together. She'd never heard Bret use that tone before. She opened her mouth about to ask him what was wrong, but he’d cut her off by grabbing her hand and tugging her to her feet. Bret straightened in his chair and parted his legs to tuck her between them. His big hands settled on her waist. Sitting down his face was level with her small breasts. She wasn't sorry about much, but she'd always wished they were larger to counteract the width of her waist, hips, and thighs.
She inhaled deeply and held it as he turned his head to rest it against her upper stomach and breasts.
Bret took her wrists in his hands and wrapped her arms around his head. When she was once again getting ready to ask what was going on, he hugged her waist and let out the most contented sigh she'd ever heard. As his beard and breath teased her inner forearm, she slowly stroked her nails over the short hair on the side of his head.
“I lost count of how many times I dreamed of just doing this.”
Her stomach did this weird tight flip, and she wasn't naïve enough not to know what it meant. As her heart seemed to speed into overdrive, she tried to rid herself of that lump of fear from her stomach. It wasn't fear of him or the act like she expected but of the unknown. She'd gotten herself off so many times. She was curious.
She cupped Bret's chin to turn and lift his head until his eyes met hers. Her body started trembling from the toes up. She switched her gaze from his eyes to his mouth. Bret didn't make any move to kiss her, but he'd told her she'd have to make the first move.
She urged her pulse to slow, but it was a lost cause as she closed the distance, hesitating briefly and then continuing until her soft lips touched Bret's firmer ones. She curled her fingers into his beard as she tentatively nipped at his lips with small kisses.
The stroke of his rough touch over her hips and lower to the hem of her dress barely registered. Then Bret's hands were on her skin, and she gave a shuddering sigh as his fingertips danced upward over the back of her legs until he met the lower curves of her ass. Bret pushed his fingers between her thighs, and she let out a needy whimper at his caress over her pussy lips. The minuscule crotch of her thong was no protection from his touch.
When he pulled away, she felt as if she'd done something wrong. Bret only retreated far enough to look up at her with his shadowed light blue eyes.
“Lift your skirt. I want to see those tiny panties.”
She couldn't bring herself to look at him, so, as she lowered her hands to the bottom of her dress, she let her eyes close. The cool night breeze stroked over the front of her thighs as she did as Bret ordered. Her eyelids flew open at the caress of the paunch of her lower belly. She moaned and shook as he tongued the indent of her belly button.
“So sexy, baby.”
“Really?”
He nodded in answer, his nose and mouth brushed her belly.
She sighed and let her head fall back. Bret lifted her right foot to rest on the chair beside
his thigh. The man touched her with gentle and fleeting caresses. Once she'd become accustomed to one place, he'd move to another. Bret skimmed the cotton covered flesh at the apex of her thighs with the backs of his fingers. Her hips jerked forward. Bret wasn't pawing at her. Wasn't pushing her past her limits just letting her experience and revel in the newness of his attention.
She nearly went up in flames of embarrassment when he removed her dress completely. When she was naked except for her panties, she wanted to know what he thought. Yes, she was confident in her body, but her body housed a human for ten months and was already larger than average before that.
“Holy fuck, I swear my fantasies came nowhere near this.”
The last word hissed out a bit as his huge hands palmed the sides of her breasts. Plumped the tiny curves. Her nipples were hard and taking up most of her tits. He sharply pinched at the puffy peaks.
“You like them?”
She hated being insecure about something so unimportant.
“Like doesn't even come close.”
He tilted his chin to flick his tongue over one distended nipple, and she fisted her hands in the cotton on his shoulders. The sharp edges of his teeth scraped along it, then closed around it and tugged.
“Now, I'm going to pull your panties to the side.”
Even as he warned her, he did it and the thin sides of her underwear sunk into the flesh of her hips. He never broke eye contact with her as if he was looking for the smallest flash of fear. She was too fucking turned on for fear. They were tucked into the safety of the alcove of the balcony.
She dug her nails into the skin of his upper back as he gently slid one thick finger into her. His one equaled two of hers. Her breathing harsh and labored as he fucked in and out lazily. It was as if he had all the time in the world. No rush to finish her off so he could get off himself.
Then a sharp gasp parted her lips as the calloused pad of his thumb circled her clit. His stroke light and teasing.
“So fucking slick for me. May I have one taste?”
“You want to…”
She'd fantasized about Bret eating her pussy a time or two, but those were just brief flashes as she rubbed herself off in her bed at night.