Well Done God!

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Well Done God! Page 20

by B. S. Johnson


  (off, contemptuously) Carrion-eater!

  CHAPLAIN:

  . . .then you may be saved. . . .

  WOYZECK:

  If you could make things as they were, then you would be some use to me! (pause) Time is the criminal, time.

  CHAPLAIN:

  (solicitously) My son. . . .

  WOYZECK:

  (kidding) Daddy! (Roars with almost hysterical laughter. Cuts off sharply. Pause.)

  Lights up. Absolutely bare stage. WOYZECK at very front, back to audience, standing quite still with hands behind back as though bound.

  Long pause.

  WOYZECK begins to walk very slowly, but directly and calmly, towards the back wall of stage.

  No sound but his footsteps.

  WOYZECK reaches the back wall.

  Stops, facing it.

  Long pause, held until audience is almost bored.

  Suddenly WOYZECK turns to face the audience, very quickly, and then he shouts at the top of his voice:

  WOYZECK:

  Yes!

  Immediately a volley of shots; two or three wounds on WOYZECK’s shirt (use blood-pellet guns).

  Before he falls

  BLACKOUT

  What is the Right Thing and Am I Doing It?

  EDITORS’ NOTE

  What is the Right Thing and Am I Doing It? was commissioned by ATV in 1971 for their one-hour Armchair Theatre programme. The script was not produced and, until now, has never been published.

  CHARACTERS

  GHENT, about fifty; handsome, fit for his age; a leader; the sort of man who usually dominates any company in which he finds himself; upright, moral, and emphatically not a criminal in the ordinary sense although he has just come out of prison

  GWEN, his wife; early forties; still an attractive woman

  HIND, about 28; tall, thin, intense, dedicated

  CHRISTINA, 25, blonde, highly intelligent as well as pretty

  DOCTOR (JOHN), old friend and contemporary of Ghent; self-assured, calm, sympathetic

  NEWS EDITOR, about 45, sharp, bald little man, Americanised

  JOURNALIST, about 27, subservient hack, Americanised

  SACSEN, Ghent’s generation, old friend, soft-centred, vague

  ERICSSON, about 28; sharp, clever

  YOUNG FARMER, about 20; callow, rash

  YOUTH, guest at party

  GIRL ONE, guest; about 20

  GIRL TWO, guest; outsider; about 20

  SON, aged 5; non-speaking

  TELEVISION INTERVIEWER, standard; voice-over only

  GUESTS, about half a dozen, mainly Ghent’s generation, non-speaking

  Accents should be more or less standard English, with no regional variations.

  SETS

  1) A composite main set consisting of a large living area flanked on the right by a kitchen and on the left by an open terrace or balcony overlooking a view. A large, well-modernised farmhouse in a remote, hilly area.

  2) Main set: bedroom in the same farmhouse, first floor.

  3) Corner: prison cell.

  4) Corner: newspaper editorial office.

  5) Corner: committee room of the Language Association.

  6) Corner: doctor’s study/consulting room in a rural practice.

  TIME

  The present; May – June.

  PART ONE

  1. INTERIOR. BEDROOM. NIGHT

  In double bed are two forms lying apart: GHENT and his wife GWEN.

  At first, only their voices can be heard in the dark during a semi-circular track round foot of bed. Then gradually reveal their faces.

  GHENT (slowly)

  You had to float. (pause) You had to float between (pause) events. Even the tiniest thing could be an event, the next thing to look forward to. Until then you had to float, to stay above the (pause) situation.

  FLASH INSERT

  Side shot: two-tier prison bunks, with sleeping forms in them. End flash insert.

  GHENT

  If you didn’t float (pause) it got on top of you. You learnt that very quickly. (pause) Rimmer would sometimes be up all night, three paces to the window, three back, all night. And all the time he would be rubbing his hands together with the same (pause) circular motion. (pause) A dry sound. You know?

  GWEN says nothing: stares up at ceiling, listening carefully.

  GHENT

  Rimmer had been in Burma in the war. A Japanese soldier smashed him in the face with the butt of his rifle and was about to bayonet him when one of Rimmer’s mates shot the Jap. (pause) So Rimmer rubs his hands, walks up and down and stares. (pause) So he told me. (pause) It was his way of floating.

  GWEN

  Will you see Rimmer again?

  FLASH INSERT

  CU hands being rubbed together. End flash insert.

  GHENT

  Will I see Rimmer again? (pause) You have to float.

  FLASH INSERT

  Wider shot of hands of men walking towards camera. End flash insert.

  GHENT

  Rimmer has another five years to do. At least.

  FLASH INSERT

  Full shot, hands, figure: as we see the face it is GHENT and not Rimmer, whose presumable form lies in the bottom bunk beyond. End flash insert.

  GHENT

  You had to ignore so many of the (pause) grievances, the causes for grievance.

  FLASH INSERT

  Greasy plate with uneaten food on it. End flash insert.

  GHENT

  Otherwise you’d blow up. Many of them blew up. (pause) Not Rimmer. You had to float to survive. I can’t put it any better than that, though it’s a cliché. Sometimes the use of clichés can be the only response to (pause) deep emotions. It’s sometimes the only way they can be expressed. (pause)

  GWEN

  But there were the poems. . . .

  GHENT

  Yes, I had the poems. (declaims)

  “Long in the lizard’s green labyrinth

  Slumbered the seed of my country’s grief.” (pause)

  GWEN

  You must get them down.

  GHENT (smiles)

  Believe me, I shan’t forget them. (declaims)

  “Moment and moment in forge and field

  Marking the hour of my country’s need.”

  CU GWEN’s face: doubtful, anxious.

  FLASH INSERT

  Prison cell: full shot: GHENT stands at far end, feet apart, hands down and slightly away from sides, fingers spread, palms towards camera. End flash insert.

  GHENT turns to GWEN, addresses her directly for the first time.

  GHENT

  I’m sorry.

  GWEN (impassive)

  Patience, it will come.

  2. INTERIOR. FARMHOUSE – COMPOSITE LIVING AREA. KITCHEN. TERRACE. NIGHT

  A small party is in progress: perhaps fifteen to twenty people, of whom about half are the same generation as GHENT and the rest younger.

  As we dissolve between one group and another, overhearing snatches of conversation here and there, it becomes evident that all these people have something of a spirit and a purpose in common: they are in fact part of the core of a dedicated minority nationalist movement.

  GHENT is the centre of the largest group; he is relaxed, buoyant.

  GHENT

  Mind you, the cocoa was good, last thing at night. In fact, if our boys had come over the wall to get me out at cocoa-time, it would have been a toss-up whether I went back with them or not!

  The others laugh.

  QUICK DISSOLVE TO:

  Another group including HIND and CHRISTINA.

  CHRISTINA has just finished saying something in a foreign language; clearly this particular nation’s language. The others all laugh, except for one YOUTH.

  YOUTH

  What does that mean?

  CHRISTINA (pleasantly; but with an edge)

  It’s an old story about the impossible rent asked for a farm — a snowball in June, and a rose at Christmas. (pause) It doesn’t make the same sense
in English, as usual.

  HIND

  “Scorian y vall, lorian a Summass.” You can hear the difference, at least, can’t you?

  YOUTH nods, looks embarrassed.

  QUICK DISSOLVE TO:

  SACSEN, an older generation nationalist, and ERICSSON, about 28.

  SACSEN

  D’you shoot pigeon?

  ERICSSON

  No, but when I’m in London I make a point of kicking stones at them!

  QUICK DISSOLVE TO:

  Group including DOCTOR.

  DOCTOR

  . . .for two hundred years the charts showed a depth of fifteen fathoms when there was only three at high water — generations of wreckers in that quiet little village must have been paying clerks at the Admiralty to keep the charts unchanged. Shifting sands, they’d say, but there was always solid bedrock there that would tear the keel of any ship afloat to tatters. And there they’d be on the shore, generation after generation, waiting to kill anyone unfortunate enough to avoid drowning, and then. . .

  QUICK DISSOLVE TO:

  GHENT’s group, which now includes HIND and CHRISTINA: all young people as well. GHENT is now noticeably drunker: clearly he is not used to alcohol after his long lay-off.

  GIRL ONE

  It must have seemed never-ending.

  GHENT

  No, I could always see an end. Who was it said we all get what we want in the end: that’s the trouble! (laughs)

  CHRISTINA (half-jokingly)

  Not when the end we reach is power. . .

  GHENT

  Especially when we gain power! What do we do with it? Why, John Stannis and I would reach a point — usually when we were drunk, and it was late at night — Oh, I can see John Stannis now, sitting there like a young Toby Jug he’d be, and I’d say ‘What are we going to do when we win, John Stannis?’ And he’d think a while, and he’d say, ‘Damned if I know, Ghent!’

  GHENT roars with laughter; GIRL ONE joins in; CHRISTINA begins to smile, then stops herself; HIND does not smile.

  GHENT

  Then we’d just decide to win first, and work out then what we’d actually do with the power!

  HIND (quietly)

  We know now what we’ll do when we win.

  GHENT

  Eh?

  HIND

  We’ve worked out a policy to cover every important area which. . . .

  GHENT

  Policy! What policy can there be? How can we possibly decide until we’ve won?

  HIND

  This isn’t the right time to discuss it. We’ll meet later in the week and have a whole day to go over everything.

  QUICK DISSOLVE TO:

  GIRL TWO

  Is that his wife?

  YOUNG FARMER

  Yes. . .

  ERICSSON

  She worships the grass that grows under his feet.

  ERICSSON wanders off as GWEN approaches.

  GWEN

  Hullo, you must be Calnin’s son. Is the farm still up for sale?

  YOUNG FARMER (somewhat guiltily)

  Yes. He says he can’t work it on his own now Stahl is retiring, and I’m away at college most of the time.

  GWEN

  Is there no other way? Won’t you come back after you’ve finished college anyway?

  GIRL TWO

  What is there here for him?

  YOUNG FARMER looks embarrassed; GWEN looks reproachful.

  QUICK DISSOLVE TO:

  Group including GHENT and SACSEN.

  GHENT

  You have to float, you know, that’s the only way to. . . .

  SACSEN

  . . .survive? To keep going? I couldn’t have done it, Ghent, and it might so easily have been me.

  GHENT puts his arm round him.

  GHENT

  Ha! Yes, we kept you out, didn’t we, boy! There was nothing they could do about it! (hesitates, then commits a rather drunken indiscretion: but for a purpose — to exorcise) You might say we kept John Stannis out, too! (pause) One way or another!

  An awkward pause.

  SACSEN

  The poems, Ghent, what about the poems? If they’re half as good as the novels they’ll be marvellous!

  GHENT

  Ah yes, the poems.

  SACSEN

  Aren’t you going to let us hear them this evening?

  GHENT

  If I’m sober enough!

  QUICK DISSOLVE TO:

  GWEN and DOCTOR on terrace.

  GWEN (coolly)

  It’s interesting how fit he seems. You remember how easily he would put on weight? You once warned him about his heart.

  DOCTOR

  Perhaps the physical regime of eight years in prison has added as many again to the end of his life. Perhaps even longer. I’ve known something similar happen.

  GWEN’s cool expression does not change.

  GWEN

  You’ll give him a complete check-up as soon as you can fit one in?

  DOCTOR

  Of course.

  QUICK DISSOLVE TO:

  Another group including GHENT.

  GIRL TWO

  I mean, everyone’s entitled to an opinion. . . .

  GHENT is by now very drunk, almost falling around.

  GHENT

  Opinion! Entitled! I’ve decided to give up opinion! What use is opinion! What does it matter? I didn’t go to prison for being entitled to opinions, but for holding them so strongly that I was prepared to back them up with action! With violence! (pause) Without it, mere opinion is useless — (mimics childishly) he holds this, someone else holds that — what does it mean! (pause) I had a long while to get used to mere opinion! (pause) The ‘intellectual support’ is about as useful as a truss with perished elastic! Ha!

  GHENT’s voice has been raised so much that everyone in the room has fallen silent: a certain amount of embarrassment is evident at his drunkenness, but it is mingled with realisation that, having been deprived of alcohol for so long, it was virtually bound to happen; and, in any case, the occasion entitles him to a certain amount of licence.

  GHENT

  What use are these intellectual theorists without action in support of their ideas? None at all! (pause) None! (pause) I judge people by what they do, not by what they say! Ha!

  He is now totally dominating those present; and he knows it.

  GHENT

  Why are you all here tonight? (pause) No answer. You’re here because of what I did all those long years ago, eight years, it seems a lifetime, eh? I am your conscience, I was the one who did what you all wished you had the nerve to do, the courage, the guts! (pause) There are people here tonight who should have been there instead of me, there are others (pause) who should be here tonight who cannot be. (pause)

  He is lost as to how to go on. Anti-climax. To cover up, he searches around for yet another drink; and fortunately finds one to hand; drinks; end on BCU GHENT drinking.

  3. INTERIOR. BEDROOM. DAY

  GHENT and the DOCTOR. They are clearly old friends: an easy atmosphere between them.

  GHENT is pulling on a roll-neck sweater, and it is apparent that the DOCTOR has just concluded a medical examination of him. Throughout the first part of the conversation he tidies away various pieces of medical gear into a case.

  DOCTOR

  The only things I can find at all wrong with you are consistent with the hangover I know you must have after last night.

  GHENT (clearly hungover)

  How long will it be before I can take as much as I used to?

  DOCTOR (smiles)

  Depends how hard you work at it. I wouldn’t advise shortening the process to less than a month. Here, I use this myself when the next morning rears its aching head.

  Hands GHENT a pill; GHENT goes across to washbasin, rinses out toothmug, takes pill, drinks.

  DOCTOR (half seriously)

  That was one of the main reasons I became a doctor — so that I’d know what was wrong with myself and be able to treat it as
quickly as possible.

  GHENT

  But what if you had something serious, really serious — fatal, even?

  DOCTOR

  I’d rather know. It’s true I’ve had to train myself to accept that I’d know, and I tend to examine every little twinge minutely for what larger implications it might have. But that’s how I’ve chosen to live. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  GHENT (nods)

  ‘Choosing how to live’ is something of a new idea to me at the moment, you understand. (laughs)

  DOCTOR

  Physically, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t adjust very well — though you’ll put on weight, of course, for the first few weeks. (pause) Apart from physically. . . .

  GHENT (guessing)

  Mentally, I know, it’s going to be more difficult to adjust.

  DOCTOR

  Some things have changed, Ghent.

  GHENT (rhetorically, rehearsed)

  Ha! You don’t have to tell me about change! I know all about change, John, change is one of the conditions of life — and perhaps the most important condition, too. Everything is changing constantly. We change physically over the years, we change our habits, our likes and dislikes — but we don’t change our characters, John, we can’t change our character!

  DOCTOR

  No?

  GHENT

  No. We are what we are. I am what I am. I don’t understand how I came to be what I am, but I do know that I’m stuck with being what I am. Until I die. Do you remember those long arguments we used to have about whether Freud was right, or the conditioned reflex theory, or. . . .oh, you know, all that? Have your opinions changed?

  DOCTOR

  Well, I’m still a Freudian, though a severely modified Freudian, I find, the longer I live.

  GHENT

  There! Change again! And if Freud hadn’t lived it would have been necessary to invent him! You don’t know how much I missed some form of (pause) engaged, intelligent conversation. . . .

  DOCTOR

  I can imagine. . . .

  GHENT

  Rimmer had only two basic subjects, football and crime, and I couldn’t pretend to be interested in either of them beyond a certain point.

  DOCTOR

 

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