Flinging aside the sheet wrapped around his hips, he left the comfort and warmth of his bed, prowling naked into the main part of the house in search of his sexy lover. It didn’t take but a few seconds to understand that she wasn’t there. Shit. Finding her gone was the last thing he expected.
Standing there naked, sporting a quickly diminishing erection, Cameron scrubbed both hands back and forth through his hair and across the stubble covering his face. Grabbing at his chest like a man in the midst of a heart attack, he was overwhelmed with a crushing sense of loss, as if her absence foretold an impending doom.
Had he done something stupid? Fuck. He couldn’t remember anything except a handful of memories swirling with so much passion and emotion that he could barely take it all in. His intention to sit down with her and talk about what was going on between them had been completely circumvented when his dick got hard at the sight of her in those damn cowboy boots and not much else.
Finding his jeans laying on the floor where they’d landed after she’d pushed them down his legs, Cam quickly stepped into them commando style in his increasing hurry to find out where she’d gone and why. Yanking up the zipper, he snapped the waistband closed a second before the slight bulge in his pocket registered. What the….? Pushing his hand into the pocket, he withdrew the small black jewelry box containing the delicate pearl earrings he had wanted to give her as a peace offering.
Oh, Jesus, he thought. Had he really been that stupid? Instead of explaining his ignorant behavior while he’d been gone and softening her up with some modest bling, he’d once again reverted to type and simply demanded she get naked. So he could fuck her. The sour taste in his mouth let him know without a doubt what an asshole he’d been.
What the hell was wrong with him? One minute he wanted to keep her at a distance and the next he was going at her like his dick was a divining rod in search of her sweet pussy. Fuck. Fuck Fuck! That wasn’t what he intended. Or was it?
Hurrying to find the rest of his clothes, he quickly pulled on an old t-shirt plus a pair of ratty house shoes and headed for the door. He didn’t care that he looked like hell. He didn’t care that anyone seeing him would know how his night had ended. All he cared about was finding Lacey and fixing whatever he’d done.
Slamming out of the house he decided against firing up his truck, opting to stomp like a madman along the dirt lane that would take him to the casita. And if she wasn’t there, he would move on to the big house. With each pounding thud of his feet on the packed dirt, Cam remembered more about the previous night. He was ashamed of his earlier thought that what they did was just fucking. The sharpening memories of her seduction, not just of his body but also his heart, invaded his mind. She’d asked for more and as a shiver of awareness shot along his spine, he remembered giving it to her. Remembered crying her name a thousand times, remembered telling her of his need. For her.
At the casita he tapped on the front door even though there were no signs she was home. Shit. That meant she was in the office or at the big house. Neither of those options appealed to him since they each involved the possibility of other people being present. Ah, what the fuck. Screw all this sneaking around crap. She deserved better from him. Time for him to buck the hell up and act like a man. He only hoped he hadn’t blown it with her completely.
Coming upon Draegyn and Alex in deep conversation as he entered the Villa’s large kitchen, Cameron searched for evidence of Lacey’s presence but found none. He didn’t especially want to talk to anyone but her right now but having been seen by both men he couldn’t exactly turn his back and walk away.
“Yo, dude!” Drae chuckled. “You look like shit. Too much partying last night? Couldn’t help but notice that you and Blondie went missing at the same time.”
The man’s smirk did nothing to lighten Cam’s mood. “Shut up, Drae.” Holy crap, he sounded like a wounded animal even to his own ears. The knowing look Alex fixed on him didn’t help.
Drae held his hands up in mock surrender. “My bad, my bad. Sorry. Who you sleep with is none of my business.”
Cam caught the flash of a conspiratorial look between his two brothers but didn’t slow down long enough to consider what it meant. “I mean it. Shut the fuck up! You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Well, I know enough to see that there’s more going on than just the naked rhumba with someone who I might add is technically your employee.” At Cam’s stern look Drae laughed and continued, “Oh, like I’m gonna shrink from one of your dark scowls! Get real. Look bro, all I’m trying to say is I really hope you know what you’re doing. That girl is out of your fucking league, man.” Alex nodded in agreement.
“Everyone here thinks she’s the tits and the balls. Even that grumpy bastard over there,” Drae added with the jerk of his head in Alex’s direction. “And by the way, if you don’t get an assistant soon,” he said still looking at Alex while swinging his finger back and forth between himself and Cam, “we’re gonna fucking mutiny. Capisce?”
Cam had to admire the way Drae had diplomatically placed himself as antagonist and co-conspirator with each of them. Smart move. Meant he could say whatever the fuck he wanted and he’d have to stand there and take it.
“Back to Ponytail,” Drae challenged with dripping emphasis on the endearment Cam had let slip earlier. “She’s got quite a posse of friends and admirers, my friend. The lady’s smart and quick as shit. Word around the barn is that not only did she get the office back in shape, she’s even added a few touches of her own to our management style. I believe you’ll be getting a MEMO about Throwback Thursday. Apparently, we’re all gonna bond over crappy eighties music and grungy nineties fashion!”
Alex and Drae laughed in unison, shaking their heads in wonder at the idea. Cam wasn’t surprised that she’d fit in so easily or that she’d taken on her new life with determination. Why had he been trying so hard to act like her appearance in his life had been no big deal?
Drae moved a few feet from his shoulder and crossed his arms over his chest. “What I’m trying to say is, if you’re just messing with her, you might want to think that through. She’s not like your usual emotionless fembots. She deserves better, man.” He shrugged. “If you think you have some obligation to look after her, that’s cool. But believe me, she won’t be by herself for very long. There isn’t anyone here, ladies included, who don’t have some form of a crush on her.” Drae and Alex both laughed in unison again, and Cam felt the white-hot flare of insane jealousy rise up again in his mind.
The feeling scared the shit out of him, it made him feel hot and cold at the same time. He didn’t like it, not one bit. Jealousy set the beast inside him on an angry prowl the minute it shot through his mind. Feeling out-of-control and not knowing how to contain the flood of feelings and emotions sweeping him away, Cam reverted to form while he tried to get a grip.
“You looking for a new conquest, Drae? Need a fuck buddy? Well,” he growled, “won’t be the first time you had my sloppy seconds.”
The startled gasp that split the air behind him brought three pair of eyes in search of whoever had let it loose. The last thing Cam expected was to swing around and find Lacey hovering in the doorway, a bunch of papers in her hand and a look of absolute horror on her face. She’d clearly heard what he’d said.
He reflexively moved toward her gesturing as if in supplication. “Lacey, I can ……..”
Crack! Her hand hauled back and smacked him so hard he was staggered for a moment. From somewhere behind him, Cam heard Drae mutter, Whoa! He silently wished a hole would open up in the floor and swallow him whole before this awful moment got any messier.
“Fuck you, Cameron!” a white-faced Lacey screamed at him. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”
She had never uttered a single swear word in his presence until now. All three men gasped at her foul language.
“I can explain,” he gritted out, hating that Alex and Drae were witnessing what was essentially going to be his do
wnfall.
“No!” she spat out as she slapped the stack of papers she’d been holding on the marble counter. Turning on him with both hands on her hips and a look of complete disgust on her face, she looked him up and down with derision dripping from her every pore. “There is no explaining sloppy seconds. Ever! You’re a fucking pig. And I hate you!”
Her words hit him square in the face even harder than the slap. He’d been right all along, that she was too good for him. Too real. Too honest. Look what he’d done to her. The self-loathing that lashed at his soul was too much for him to bear. She hated him.
Escape seemed like the only option in the face of what had just detonated between them. He made for the door, looking back one last time, to see her shove trembling knuckles against her mouth as her body shook with the emotion she was choking back. Seeing her like that cracked open a hole in his heart. He really was broken now.
Lacey stood there frozen but not numb. No, the pain from what she’d overheard was tearing her apart inside. She’d been such a fool to hope they were moving to a better place in their relationship after last night. They hadn’t shared anything but body fluids. Sloppy seconds? How could he say that? She felt sick.
She heard Alex, dear grumpy, disorganized Alex, issue a single terse command. All he needed to say was “Draegyn” in that tone he used that said it wasn’t a good idea not to obey. When Drae moved to go after Cameron, she snapped.
“Oh sure! Run after him, the poor thing. Y’know gentlemen, all that tortured soul bullshit is just that – BULLSHIT!” She almost laughed at the shocked expressions on both their faces but that didn’t stop her from saying what was on her mind.
“Shit happens. In everyone’s life. News flash! You three aren’t the only ones who’ve had bad things happen to them. The thing is though, in Cameron’s case at least, he’s still pissing and moaning about stuff that happened…what? Like decades ago? When is it enough? Seriously! Why does he get to cling to past hurts and traumas but everyone else is expected to move past such things? Run after him if you have to. Clearly, you’d know better than sloppy old me.”
Had she imagined it or did they both just cringe at her choice of words? Exasperated she glanced around the big, modern kitchen where this strange turn of events had gone down. She liked it here, but this was Cameron’s home. He belonged here, not her. That Alex and Drae’s first instinct was to chase after him said a lot.
She was startled and it showed when Alex moved silently to her side and put his arm around her. “Honey, everything’s gonna be alright.” He tightened his hold on her and jostled her in a friendly way. “C’mon Lacey. Trust me, okay? Let me and Draegyn calm things down. We were taunting him when you walked up. He didn’t mean what he said. Really. He has a habit of running away from the obvious. We all do.” The look he and Drae exchanged was fraught with meaning that she didn’t understand.
“You don’t have to tell me he’s a runner, Alex. He’s been running from what’s been happening between us from the moment we met. I think the message is loud and clear. That’s what he does. I’m no different or more special than anything or anyone else he’s ever turned his back on.”
“Ah, but you are. That’s the whole point and if you hadn’t appeared when you had, I’m pretty sure he would have admitted just that … eventually. Please trust us, Lacey. Don’t do anything rash, okay?”
She nodded hesitantly but didn’t look at either man. Alex left her side and told Drae, “You know what to do.” Drae started to go after Cameron but stopped to squeeze her shoulder before leaving. His look asked her not to rush to judgment and she nodded again.
“I’m going back to work,” she announced twenty seconds after Draegyn left the room. “Those papers,” she pointed to the stack she’d thrown on the counter, “all need your signature.” Clearing her throat she shifted into business mode. “If you need me, you know where I’ll be.”
After leaving the house, Cam made a bee-line to the vehicle garage, jumped on an ATV and headed to his house. From there he grabbed a bottle of whiskey, his sunglasses, and a side-arm for good measure.
About two hours later Drae found him. By then he’d gotten as far as an old cabin, miles from the main area of the compound, where he’d pulled over and plopped down on an old rickety chair by the cabin’s door. A good portion of the whiskey bottle now stood empty, and a fence post some distance away was riddled with bullets from the inebriated target practice he’d been doing.
His old friend didn’t say anything, just climbed out of the truck he’d driven and sat down next to him. A minute went by and then, Drae’s hand shot out and took away the gun. Not that Cam minded. He hated guns. After the military, he’d had enough of that sort of thing. He wasn’t sure why he’d grabbed it in the first place.
Once the pistol had been safely put aside, Drae handed him an ice cold bottle of water. “Take it, dude. Either that or I’ll pour it down your throat myself.”
The heat from the mid-day sun was making his alcohol fueled brain fry so he grabbed the bottle, tore off the cap, and drank the entire thing to the head. “Thanks.”
Silence descended. Drae was waiting him out. Probably a smart move considering how crazy he’d been acting. In the end, he could only think of one thing to say. “Is she alright?”
Drae leaned forward with his forearms on his thighs and didn’t say anything at first. Cam got nervous because his friend was rarely so cautious or tentative. Fuck. Was Lacey alright or not? He hung his head, catching it with one hand, covering his eyes. The whiskey and the heat had given him a thumping good headache that one bottle of water wasn’t going to cure. The fact that his conscience had been screaming at him from the moment he left the Villa probably hadn’t helped.
Turning to the side with his head still supported by his hand he groaned at his friend, “Please.”
Draegyn straightened in the chair he’d claimed, throwing Cam a serious expression before finally responding. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear.
“She said something after you left that I keep thinking about. Basically,” he snorted, “she accused the three of us of being whiney pussies when it comes to the past.” The smirk on his face told Cam her comment had hit its mark. “I think she may be right.” Grabbing another bottle of water from the rucksack he’d carried, Drae tossed it to Cam, and then retrieved one for himself.
They sat there, downing the water, each lost in their own thoughts about the meaning of her words. “Look at us, man. Successful in every sense of the word, with solid reputations, and more money than we need. But at the end of the day, I’m a fucked up trust-fund baby, Alex is shouldering the aftermath of an entire war, and then there’s you my old friend. You’ve been carrying a tremendous chip on your shoulder because of shit your mom did decades ago. Lacey reminded us in no uncertain terms that all of that is in the past. Dragging it along like luggage through our lives means we each need a personal valet just to handle our bullshit. She wasn’t wrong.”
Drae stood up and gathered his stuff, making moves to leave him alone. He still hadn’t told him whether she was alright or not. Cam started to ask again but got cut off.
“Are you in love with this woman? You do know it’s all right if you are. Fuck dude. If you can fall in love, maybe there’s hope for the whole world, y’know?”
Cam’s chest heaved as he answered, “She means everything to me, Drae. I don’t even know how or when that happened, but it’s the truth. Believe me. I know she deserves better than someone who’s irretrievably broken, but that’s the way it is.”
Draegyn nodded at his assessment but added, “You might be a little banged up but you’re not any more broken than I am. Or Alex for that matter. We’re survivors Cameron. That’s what counts, not how we got to this point. And the hard truth of the matter is that the lady in question doesn’t think you’re a lost cause. How often in life do you think something like that’s gonna happen? You’d be a fool to let her go without a fight. It’s something t
hat would haunt you forever and then you really would be a broken man.”
He flipped his sunglasses on and turned to walk away. “To answer your question,” he said while striding to his truck, “she’s confused. Mad as hell, yeah, but she really got hurt by what she walked in on. To be honest, I think she’ll probably bolt. If that’s what you want, then by all means stay here. If it’s not, I suggest you get your shit together and go try a bit of groveling.” With that Drae climbed in the truck, started it up, and drove away with a cloud of desert dust coming from under his wheels.
It was awhile before Cam finally made ready to leave the secluded cabin for the ride home. He’d had a lot to think about and he needed time to let some of the whiskey-haze fade away. He wasn’t surprised by what she’d said about the past being the past. She was proving the truth of that statement by just being who she was. Why did he presume that his painful childhood had more importance than the years of neglect and abuse she’d suffered? Lacey had survived a mountain of challenges and managed to stand tall. He, on the other hand, wore his challenges like a hair shirt. Never letting any of it go, living his life as though a difficult beginning was the only thing that defined him. God dammit. He’d been such a complete ass.
Lacey hadn’t felt much like having dinner, so she settled on her back patio with a cup of yogurt and a spoon. Anything more substantial would probably make her gag anyway. How she’d held herself together and stayed busy in the office all afternoon was a mystery and a miracle. After the dreadful scene earlier with Cameron speaking about her in such a degrading way, she’d been numb with shock and heartbreak.
Right before she closed down the office for the day, she’d spied Draegyn slipping into Alex’s bat cave, but no sign of the man he’d been sent to bring back. Just as well, she figured. What was the use in trying to fix this mess? Even though Alex had asked her to trust him, she’d spent a good portion of the afternoon contemplating what she should do now. She certainly couldn’t stay here, no matter how much she wanted to.
Broken Justice (Justice Brothers) Page 25