by A. J. Wynter
***
The next day the office was quiet, as the excitement of the strange country girl joining the team had died down considerably. I dressed more formally this time, using the money I had brought with me to buy some new office clothes, which included two blazers with sets of dress pants to match, in navy and beige, and a white blouse. When I looked at the receipt, the reality began to sink in deeper: I wasn’t going back to South Dakota anytime soon. What the hell was I doing?
Johnathan smiled at me politely as Sabryna and I walked in. He certainly wasn’t acting antagonistic towards me, but he wasn’t necessarily being extremely welcoming to me either. I figured he probably had bigger things to worry about than who was getting lower-level office chores done for his employees. It was my coworkers who I would probably have to worry about more than my boss.
“See ya soon,” Sabryna said, smiling at me as she went to sit at her desk. I sighed, alone again, and retreated to my office all the way in the back.
The door groaned as I opened it, and I made a similar sound soon after: the desk was piled in what must have been hundreds of pieces of paper, binder-clipped and stapled together, and many of them covered with urgent looking sticky notes in various colors. It looked like an entire week’s worth of work…did they expect me to complete all this in one day? Did I even have the training to do it? I felt myself begin to panic for the first time since I had arrived in Seattle.
I sighed and sat down to look at the first stack, which had a sticky-note placed upon it by a guy called Mark who was apparently from the marketing department. He wanted me to read a bunch of research reports and then synthesize them into a more manageable document for Johnathan. I groaned. This alone would take me all day.
I started reading the first report, highlighter in hand. It was dull work, and I found myself looking at the clock on my phone far too much to be at all healthy. Two hours passed, and my head felt completely numb from the reports, which were filled with strange words and graphs that probably only a statistics professor could decipher. I heard the doorknob turn, jumped out of my stupor, and turned around to see Cassidy, standing there in the doorway like he knew exactly how handsome he was, even this early in the day.
“Morning love,” he said with a smirk that made me blush. “How’s the first real day of—what the hell?”
I stared at him blankly. “What?”
“This,” he said, shuffling through the papers on my desk. “Fucking…this?”
“What?”
He practically grabbed the research report I was reading out of my hands, and then looked at the accompanying sticky note from Mark. “Stupid fucking wanker. Of course he did. Of course.”
Cassidy suddenly stormed out and I followed him down the hall timidly. “Cassidy?” I called after him. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
I saw him turn down the hall until he found an office, and then practically kicked the door down. Sitting inside was a red-haired man with glasses, who quickly minimized a tab on his computer that was most definitely Netflix. I backed away down the hallway before the man, who I figured was Mark, saw me.
“What the bloody fuck is this, Mark? You lazy shit. Are you kidding me?” Cassidy yelled. “Are you capable of doing anything yourself?”
“Sorry, Cassidy, I just thought the new girl was here to help with stuff, so I—”
“Small secretarial chores, Mark, not your entire fucking job. This is like a week’s worth of work for you, and not just any work, but work that you’re pretty much the only person in the office that has the training to do. And you were trying to hand it off to her so you could sit in your office and watch Stranger Things? Seriously?”
“Look, sorry, I just—”
“Piss off,” Cassidy said, and shut the door. I noticed that a few people had cracked their doors open to listen to the argument, and Cassidy had noticed too.
“There,” Cassidy said. “I don’t think anyone will bother you with any absurd amounts of work for a while, don’t you think?”
I stood there silently, a bit flabbergasted. We walked back to my office in silence, and I couldn’t think of the right words to say.
“Thanks,” I practically mumbled. Cassidy was leaning against the open door of my office, practically hovering over me. “I really appreciate it, that report was uh…messing with my head.”
“I’m not going to let anyone take advantage of you,” Cassidy said. “Never, okay? I’m your friend here.”
I felt myself blush again. “Okay.”
For the first time, I really noticed how strikingly attractive Cassidy was. He wore a tailored gray waistcoat over a white button down with the sleeves rolled up, showing off his muscled forearms. His blue eyes were especially striking—not just because of the color, but because they had a deep intensity to them, like they were permanently set to bedroom. And of course, I had to admit that watching him step up to defend my honor like that was just a tiny bit sexy.
…okay, a lot sexy.
It was then I noticed I was staring.
“Are you alright?” Cassidy asked, and the tones of his British accent were suddenly making my knees weak.
“Oh, yeah,” I said quickly. “And thanks again.”
“Of course,” Cassidy said, and gave me an electric sort of smile that suddenly took me aback. “I’ll see you around, okay?”
In a quick, almost invisible movement, Cassidy rested his hand on my waist before he left, letting it rest suddenly as he made eye contact with me. “Good luck, Eliza.”
I took a deep breath of…relief?...as Cassidy left the room. His presence made me feel…well I don’t know what, but it had made an impact.
I thought about the way he had rested his hand on my waist and stared at me, a delicate move yet one laden with meaning. Did he want me? I thought back to Sabryna’s stories about his womanizing. So, I mean, he wanted everyone, right? Maybe it was nothing.
Well, he was going to be disappointed, I thought with a sudden confidence as I sat down at my desk. I had a man, a wonderful one, and this summer, I was going to become his wife.
***
There was warmth…lovely morning warmth peeking through the windows, the kind of quiet Sunday you only get in a place like South Dakota. I was in my room, which was next door to Ben’s—we had always kept to separate bedrooms to avoid temptation, as I was still determined to keep my virginity until my wedding night.
I rolled over to see a figure underneath the sheets, and I could almost feel his warmth as I stretched out, letting the sun warm my bare legs.
“Morning,” I said, letting out a tiny yawn.
“Morning to you too,” a voice replied from behind me, a thick British accent sending shivers down my spine.
I giggled and turned to find Cassidy, his dark blond hair tousled and showing glimmers of red in the sunlight. He was lounging next to me, his shirtless and chiseled form propped up on a pillow as he gazed at me.
“That was incredible last night,” he said. “You were incredible, Eliza, love, you really were.”
I saw myself giggle as he leaned in to kiss me in an electric rush of happiness, and I noticed that I was completely naked underneath the sheet I had wrapped around myself.
“You know that he’s never going to be able to fuck you the way I can, right?” Cassidy said with a sudden burst of intensity, quickly pulling me against him, and—
I woke up in a cold sweat, almost panting as I looked at the glow of the digital clock and noticed Maggie sleeping at the end of the bed. I was at Sabryna’s. My clothes were on. Right.
I drifted back to sleep, trying to clear my mind, trying to think about anything else, to think of Ben, of home, of anything that would stop me from thinking about—
He’s never going to be able to fuck you the way I am.
I was in for a long night.
Chapter Five-Cassidy
The office is the last place I wanted to be today. It’s a Thursday, which means I’m already thoroughly exhausted but
can’t quite delve into the relief of Friday quite yet. I made my way into the break room and whipped myself up a large caramel macchiato on one of the fancy Swiss coffee machines. Mark is waiting for a cup of tea to finish steeping in the corner, and he narrowly avoids my gaze. What a wanker.
I’m still not quite sure why I flipped out at him so much the other day. I mean, I’ve never really liked him in the first place, to be honest, but my reaction was still a little bit over the top. I had already grown fond…and perhaps a bit interested, in Eliza Cameron, and seeing Mark act like such a dick to her must have made the old chivalrous instincts kick into full gear.
Speak of the devil. I watched Eliza walk in, dressed in a tiny purple floral number, and make her way to the fridge to put her lunch away. She wasn’t looking at me either. Mark left, and I went up to the fridge to talk to her.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hi,” Eliza replied quietly, suddenly looking up. Her face was a bright scarlet red.
“Is everything alright?” I asked.
“Yep,” Eliza said, looking down at the floor. “I’m fine.”
I smiled at her politely and went down to my office. She certainly didn’t look fine, and I mean by god, was she blushing. I suppose she could be one of those pale girls who blush at any human interaction—I had certainly met a lot of those back home in England—but she had never blushed like that around me before.
Was she attracted to me? I smiled. I sure hoped so.
I sat down in my chair and began to type up a memo, Eliza’s scarlet face sitting at the back of my mind. She was cute. Really cute.
I finished the memo and hit the print button, only to hear a frustrated beep come from the printer. Out of paper. Figured.
I got up and made my way to the supply closet, where two more people avoided eye contact with me. I guess word about my confrontation with Mark had gotten around, and I was the new office pariah. Oh well, I thought. It would probably only last for a week.
I entered the supply closet, which was next to Eliza’s tiny closet office, which was even smaller. The paper refills were in boxes on the top shelf, and even at my towering height, they were still rather hard to reach. There was usually a metal stool sitting around, but it must have disappeared into somebody’s office. I would have to find something to stand on.
I found a plastic box in the corner and propped it up so I could step on it, lifting myself up to a height where I could scooch the box of paper closer to me and probably manage to get it down. I nudged the box closer to me, and then—
“Ugh, shit!” I yelled, as I toppled over onto the ground. I hadn’t had my hands under the paper box when I had nudged it towards me, sending it toppling down on top of me, knocking me off the plastic box and on to the floor, covered in paper and thoroughly pissed off.
“Are you alright?” came a voice from the doorway, and I looked up to see Eliza standing there, trying not to laugh as she looked at me in my disheveled state.
“Everything except my dignity is intact,” I muttered, sitting up and stacking the printing paper back into the box. “This is not my best morning.”
“Let me help,” Eliza said, and sat down next to me, and we began the slow work of cleaning up the papers that had been scattered throughout the supply closet like confetti.
It struck me suddenly that Eliza was sitting very close to me, her bare leg touching mine and her dress slightly hiked up from her sitting position. Her legs were tanned and fit in a way that seemed natural—not the tan and fit of city girls, with their sunbeds and expensive gym memberships, but that of a girl who loved to be outdoors and belonged there, and her body showed it. It was extremely sexy to me.
Speaking of sexy, there was something undeniably naughty about the atmosphere. We were splayed out on the floor of a supply closet lit by a single, flickering lightbulb, and it looked like the kind of place where lovers would meet for a quick tryst in the middle of the workday. She knew it too, and the tension of this mutual, silent acknowledgement was exhilarating.
Eliza leaned back against the shelf and spread her legs out in front of her, sighing. “You know,” she said, staring up at the ceiling. “You’re the only person who has been at all nice to me since I came here.”
“People here can be snobs,” I said. “This place can change you. It makes you feel far too confident in yourself after a while, if you ask me.”
“And why are you so different? Why are you being so kind to me?” she asks, her warm brown eyes seeming to pierce something deep inside me that I didn’t know was there.
“I grew up in a place kind of like this,” I said, leaning closer to her. “I remember my mother kicking one of her close friends out of a dinner party once for wearing the wrong dress. And worst of all, her friends all thought it was a perfectly acceptable decision. It was a dreadful sort of way to grow up.”
“I’m sorry,” Eliza said. “That doesn’t sound like the easiest childhood.”
I laughed. “We all have our trauma. And of course, that made my escape all the more exciting.” I winked at her, and I could have sworn she swooned a bit. We held eye contact for a bit too long, and my heart began to race.
Eliza put her hand on my face, running her fingers through my stubble, her eyes full of questions.
“Do it,” I whispered.
“Do what.”
“You know what,” I said.
And then she kissed me.
I could hardly believe she had actually done it, this good girl who I thought would never, ever, make out with someone like me on the floor of a supply closet, but good god, it was actually happening. She moved her lips against mine slowly, and I could practically feel her smiling against me. The moment was electric—the chemistry was instant and gratifying and held the promise of so much more. It was hard not to push her onto the floor and take her right there—but she wasn’t that kind of girl, and I could already tell that this was the sort of thing that needed time.
Eliza pulled away and giggled, looking like a child who had stolen something from behind someone’s back and gotten away with it.
“I, um…” Eliza said, blushing adorably scarlet once again, and then suddenly the door opened, and it was Sabryna.
“Everything alright in here?” she asked, looking a bit concerned at the sight of the two of us spread out on the floor amongst a sea of fallen papers.
“Yup,” Eliza said, and she scurried back to her office without even looking at me or Sabryna.
“I dropped a box of copy paper,” I explained, and Sabryna gave me a doubtful look.
“You be careful with her, you hear me?” she said, giving me a look that I remembered getting from my teachers in school.
“I know,” I said, getting up. “I know.”
Chapter Six-Eliza
There are days when I feel like Maggie is dragging behind me when I walk her, and there are other days where I feel like she is the one walking me, dragging me across streets and around corners until I wake up. And today was one of those days.
I wasn’t even paying attention to where I was anymore as I walked her through the evening streets of downtown Seattle, her tail wagging as we passed coffee shops and souvenir vendors. The evenings here were a delightful time, full of people getting off of work and meeting their friends for drinks or dinner, or even indulging in a bit of shopping. There were times when I was jealous of my beagle, and that’s when I knew things were bad—I envied her ability to strut through the streets, her tail wagging without a care in the world.
I was a little bit too busy in my own head to have the same attitude at the present moment. I was shifting back and forth, to and fro between two states of emotion, and it was making me dizzy.
The first state was guilt, and all the labels that came with it. Cheater. Whore. Slut. Bad fiancée. Bad person. Morally backwards. This feeling was a punch in the gut, and Ben’s horrified face was usually in the background of it.
The second feeling was a little bit lower than my gut. It wa
s arousal and excitement, the constant playback of that kiss, over and over until it made me dizzy. I still couldn’t believe I had done it, and still couldn’t understand why. I supposed it was that same spirit that had possessed me when I drove out to Seattle in the first place—that desperate need to break free before the doors closed on me forever.
What I did know is that I wanted Cassidy like I had never wanted anyone else: that same spirit that had possessed me earlier had wanted to push him down onto the floor of that supply closet and take it even further. Which was ridiculous. I was saving myself for Ben. I couldn’t. It was a mistake, and I couldn’t take it any further. I’d have to go home and face the consequences.
But not yet. The city around me was holding me in before I could rush out and go back home, and the twilight fading into a dark city night promised me even more discovery before I made my last, shameful exit.
Chapter Seven-Cassidy
I am woken up by the bright light and buzz of my cell phone. It’s only nine o’clock, and I had accidently fallen asleep early after a long workout. It was a text from Megan, the cute redhead I had hooked up with the night of the New Year’s Eve party, the one who was confident and full of questions that I couldn’t answer. She had been pretty hot too.
The text simply read, Hey, what are you up to tonight? but anyone as practiced as me in the art of casual hookups knew exactly what it meant. She certainly knew what she wanted me to be up to.
Nothing much, I replied with a smiley face, almost on instinct. And then I remembered Eliza.
Sure, I was always down for sex, but something about hooking up with Megan seemed wrong this time around…like it would be a betrayal to Eliza. I mean, it was one kiss, one kiss that had ended with Eliza running back to her office, ashamed and terrified to look me in the face again. It’s not like we were dating or anything. I had no responsibility to her whatsoever.