by Robyn Carr
“Everyone wondered that same thing,” Mac said, sipping his coffee.
“It’s tedious, that’s for sure. Say, something’s been weighing on my mind a little bit. Been a long time since I had a girlfriend, you know? You ever wonder what the hell’s going on in Gina’s head?”
Mac broke into a huge grin. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“So that’s a no? Because Sarah—she’s got a lot on her mind, I know that. But man, she’s on another planet sometimes. Makes me wonder if anything is wrong. But then she’s back and I wonder why I wondered….”
“Coop, you remember how many women I live with, right? There’s Lou, Eve and Dee Dee at home, but then there’s Gina and all her women—her mother and her daughter, who at the moment is a mess over some boyfriend issue. Half the time I don’t have any idea what’s going on in any of their heads!”
“Oh,” he said. “That’s a no?”
“That’s a no.”
“How do you handle that?”
“Do you see me handling anything? I pretty much just duck.”
“Oh, you’re a big help….”
“Sorry, man. I just do as I’m told most of the time,” Mac said.
Cooper just stared at him. “Why aren’t you completely bald?”
“It’s a wonder, isn’t it? Lou says there’s something in the male hormone that prevents me from getting it. She’s probably right.”
*
Gina went home during the midmorning slow time at the diner to check on Ashley, as she’d done the two previous days. This was her third day of grieving and Ashley just lay in her bed, clutching her phone. Gina had tried prying it out of her fingers once but her daughter tearfully whimpered, “But what if he calls me?”
“It would probably be best if you just turned the phone off,” Gina said. “If he calls you, let him find you’re over him!”
“I’m so not over him,” she said.
“This can’t go on, Ash,” she said. “You have to get a grip. You have to get up, get cleaned up, go to school.”
“You have no idea what you’re saying,” she cried.
“Don’t I? Ashley, my boyfriend left me pregnant at fifteen. When I told him, he ran far and fast and never looked back! Ashley, I know how this hurts, believe me.”
She rolled over, her red hair everywhere, and tearfully said, “I wouldn’t mind that, you know. At least you still had a part of him to live for. What do I have?”
Gina wanted to shake her. “Your dignity! He cheated on you—you should kick him to the curb, not suffer in rejection. Get mad! I hope the sorry bastard gets a disease!”
“Mama,” she cried, fresh tears spilling all over her face. “Don’t say that, Mama. You love Downy. And my heart hurts….”
She didn’t love Downy anymore. How could he take her little girl’s innocence and then dismiss her so cruelly? Describe her as “the girl I dated back home” like she was history? He should be brutally punished. How could he?
Because he’s an eighteen-year-old boy, her wiser self said. He did what most eighteen-year-old boys do. And Ash is just a sixteen-year-old girl, doing what comes naturally—grieving her loss. It could just as easily have gone the other way—Ashley could have become bored with her absent boyfriend and found someone new at school, some current popular jock who had time to date, to take her to the dances and games. This could be Downy wallowing in depression because his girlfriend had dumped him.
Why couldn’t it be that way, huh? she asked herself. She didn’t want her daughter to be mean and insensitive, but she also didn’t want this—this sobbing, broken mess who wouldn’t get out of bed.
“I’m going back to work,” she said. “When I get home later I want you up. I want you showered, doing your best to get on with life because you can’t fix this, Ashley. I’m not going to let you shrivel up and waste away just because Downy was an unfaithful ass. Do you hear me? Tomorrow you go to school, no excuses.”
She rolled over and looked at her through wet eyes. “I loved him,” she whispered. “I loved him so much.”
“But you can’t make a person love you back,” Gina whispered.
“Are you sure? Because somehow I made him love me once.”
Gina smoothed her crazy red hair back off her brow. “I know, baby. Someday you’re going to understand that you dodged a bullet here. You don’t want a boyfriend who can’t be faithful, who can’t keep his promises. Believe me.”
Ashley just shook her head. She rolled over and, gripping her phone, as she had been for days, she gently wept.
Gina got away from the house. She walked down the hill to the diner before pulling out her own phone. She stared at it for a moment. She sat down on one of the benches outside the diner’s front door and clicked on Marjorie Downy’s number. When the woman answered she said, “Marjorie, hi. It’s Gina James.”
“Hi there, Gina.”
“I wonder if you know—Downy and Ashley broke up.”
There was a heavy sigh from Marjorie. “I did hear that. I can’t say I’m surprised. I thought that when they were apart for a while, at different schools, it might end up like this. That’s too bad for Ashley, Gina.”
“She’s devastated. She said Downy has a new girlfriend.”
Marjorie sighed again. “Well, look, Crawford is in a new place now, a different place. Their worlds…you know what I mean. Their worlds are now orbiting different suns. There’s college and there’s high school.”
“He promised to take her to her prom,” Gina said because she just couldn’t help it, though she didn’t have any intention of Marjorie helping with that problem.
“I know. I have to be honest with you, Gina—I never approved of that idea. Crawford should be spending what little money he has for dating on college events, fraternity events, not on high school dances.”
Gina stiffened. “Well, then, perhaps he shouldn’t have promised,” she said. “Poor Ashley.”
“Oh, Gina, I do feel sorry for Ashley, I do. I’m sure she’ll be all right.”
“She’s not all right at the moment. She’s shattered. Heartbroken. Downy wasn’t very nice to her.”
“Poor thing. But I worried about this from the start. Crawford is quite the catch at State—handsome, athletic, fun, smart. I knew it was only a matter of time before some pretty college girl caused him to forget the girl back home. Ashley really shouldn’t have pinned her hopes on him.”
Gina felt her heart squeeze. “Maybe not,” she said weakly. For a moment she felt as though she should have found a way to prevent this romance, a way to keep Ashley from being hurt.
“Despite what Crawford and Ashley might’ve thought, I knew this wasn’t a lasting thing. The age difference…”
“But Downy told me you knew they were sexually active. Involved. Committed.”
“I found packages of condoms. It broke my heart. I was extremely disappointed by that. In my day young ladies were much more cautious with their bodies, with their virtue.”
Gina’s eyes grew round and her neck nearly snapped from straightening so fast. She was instantly on her feet. “And in your day, were young men also cautious?”
Marjorie actually laughed. “I wish I could say they were. You’d understand if you were the mother of sons. Boys—a different animal entirely. Which is why it’s important to raise young ladies with strict standards. You know what I mean, Gina.”
She hoped she wouldn’t break a molar, clenching her teeth so hard. “I’m sure I have no idea what you mean.”
“I mean that invariably it’s up to the girl.”
Gina was speechless. “You’re not serious,” she finally said.
“I couldn’t be more serious!” Marjorie insisted. “Men are men—they’re single-minded and a little crazy. But my boys were raised proper—if the girl says no, the answer is no. They’re not villains, they’re just men.”
“You really can’t believe this,” Gina said.
“Gina, perhaps Ashley thought there wouldn
’t be any consequences for having sexual relations at the tender age of sixteen. And as you can see from your poor darling’s broken heart, having a baby out of wedlock isn’t the only consequence.”
Gina felt her face burn. “You didn’t just say that to me,” she said. “You didn’t.”
“Oh, Gina, please! I meant no offense, it’s just that—”
“Is that what you teach your sons, Marjorie? That if they can pressure a girl into giving it up, all’s fair? It’s not the boy’s fault or responsibility?”
“No! Oh, God, no!” Then she was quiet for a second before she muttered, “I wouldn’t teach them such a thing. I’m not surprised that they think that way, however. I live in a house full of males. For all I know, my husband could have conveyed the message.”
“If he did, he should be hung up by his balls!” Gina snapped, disconnecting the call. She sank to the bench once more. She leaned over, elbows on her knees, her head resting in her hands. She couldn’t believe comments like that could still be so painful. And she knew that wasn’t how she was commonly regarded in this town—the unwed mother. She knew she and her mother were both respected citizens here. Ashley, a lovely girl and good student, was thought of highly.
But there were still a few, like Marjorie, who put it all on the woman. As if a girl gets pregnant all alone.
For a moment, she felt hot and damp at the same time. Mortified. Humiliated, as if it had been yesterday that she’d said to Carrie, Oh, Mama, I’m pregnant! And I don’t know what to do!
“Hey,” a familiar deep male voice said.
She looked up to see Mac standing in front of her. Looking down at her.
“You okay?”
She let out a breath and stood. “I called Marjorie Downy. Stupid thing to do.”
“What happened?”
“From her perspective, Ashley held him down and forced herself on him and he is completely blameless in this situation. Kind of a boys-will-be-boys attitude. And she couldn’t convey that without a dig or two at me for bearing a child out of wedlock.”
“Did she actually say that?”
“Pretty much. In her day girls were held to a higher standard and her boys were raised to understand that if a girl says no, it’s no. And having a child out of wedlock isn’t the only consequence of being sexually involved. In other words—”
“Jesus,” he said. “She’s as stupid as she is ugly.”
That almost made Gina smile. “I should never have called her. I knew Marjorie and I weren’t on the same wavelength. I always liked Downy, even before he started dating Ash. I think he’s basically a good kid. I want to think this just went the predictable course—he grew away from her when he went to college and they broke up. And yes, it hurts her terribly, but she’ll have more than one boyfriend before all is said and done.”
“Downy’s not a bad kid. But his mother is as dumb as a box full of hammers.”
“Yeah, Downy’s all right, even if he did upset my girl. And I bet in a few weeks I’ll stop hoping he gets a disease and his dick falls off.”
Mac smiled at her. “I need to take you somewhere. Dinner, maybe. Or just out of town for a few hours. Or maybe to some sleazy motel with mirrors on the ceiling—but if you say no, hey, nothing will ever happen….”
She put a grateful hand on his arm. “I gotta get my girl out of bed first, Mac. She’s a mess. Then I’ll be ready for a dinner out of town and some time alone with you.”
“You know all you have to do is snap your fingers.”
*
Lou McCain had raised her nephew since his parents—her brother and sister-in-law—were killed in an accident. He had been only ten years old at the time and lived with her until he married. And for about the past ten years she had lived with him to help him raise his three children. They had moved to Thunder Point from Coquille four years ago when Mac had been given the Thunder Point substation to manage for the Sheriff’s Department. When they first discussed the possible move, Lou hadn’t been very keen on it—she’d lived in Coquille her whole life. She had a good teaching job and friends there. She suggested he commute to Thunder Point instead of moving there, which is what other deputies tended to do.
But the move had turned out to be a good idea on many levels. Lou was able to get a teaching job at the middle school right away—eighth grade English. She liked the town and the people. Eve’s instant friendship with Ashley had resulted in Lou’s friendship with Carrie and Gina, two women she’d grown very close to. And of course, there was the simple fact that in a little town like Thunder Point, a place with only a small fishing industry, she and Mac could pool their resources and afford a home large enough for himself, three kids, two dogs and an aunt.
Lou knew a lot about kids. She was working on raising a second generation of them, for one thing. She was a very intuitive teacher, for another. Mac’s kids, her nieces and nephew, hadn’t presented too many challenges yet. But they were definitely getting there. Eve was pretty serious about Landon Dupre. There hadn’t been too much drama yet, but as Lou knew only too well, that was probably coming—teenage love could be complicated. In fact, Eve’s best friend was going through it right now; Ashley was devastated by her breakup and was acting out in bizarre and frightening ways. Ashley needed an intervention.
To that end, Lou grabbed ten-year-old Dee Dee and twelve-year-old Ryan after school and took them with her to the diner. This wasn’t exactly rare for Lou—she enjoyed stopping off there for a cup of coffee on the way home from school at least once a week on days the kids didn’t have lessons or practices of some sort.
Ryan and Dee Dee ran straight to their favorite booth. “Can you get those hellions a couple of colas and an order of fries?” she asked Gina.
“Coming right up,” she said with a smile.
Gina went to the kitchen herself to serve up a plate of fries. She made two trips with the sodas and fries and then, back behind the counter, poured coffee for herself and Lou.
“How’s school?” Gina asked.
“Some days you’re the bug and some days you’re the windshield,” Lou said. “Gina, do you know where Ashley is?”
Gina instantly got a frightened look in her eyes. “School?”
Lou shook her head. “Eve, Landon and Ashley cut out of school. Just the last class. Landon drove them to Corvallis to watch a baseball game. Ashley promised to tell you, but I knew she wouldn’t. Listen, the girl could use some help.”
“Oh, God,” Gina said weakly, looking down. “You knew they were going? Doing that?”
Lou nodded. “Ashley wanted Landon to take her because she promised you she wouldn’t take your Jeep again, like she did before. Eve insisted on going along, I suspect to keep Ashley from throwing herself at Downy. I think it’s good that Eve went. Landon, God love him, would be like a deer caught in the headlights if Ashley had a meltdown.”
Gina took a breath. “What did Mac say about this excursion?”
“I’m going to tell him at dinner. I made a management decision. It’s not as if we haven’t gone to Oregon State for a ball game or two—it wasn’t a ridiculous request. Kids from Thunder Point go to State all the time to watch their old classmates play college ball. But I don’t want either of our girls wandering around alone up there. Landon might not be much good in a romantic crisis, but I trust he’d never let anyone give our girls trouble.”
“True,” Gina said.
“After not seeing her for a couple of weeks, she finally came to dinner at our house last night. I suspect she came because she had a special request—a trip to Corvallis. She doesn’t look good, Gina.”
“I know,” Gina said in a whisper.
“She’s lost weight, I can tell she’s not eating or sleeping,” Lou said. “I’m used to the girls never shutting their mouths at the dinner table, and now… She’s really despondent.”
“How do you make a person eat and sleep? Or stop crying every night, for that matter? I can hear her and if I go to her room, she doesn’t
want to talk to me.”
Lou opened her purse and took out a slip of paper. “This is the name of a counselor. Her practice is in Bandon, so it’s a ride. I’m told she has a sliding scale if your income isn’t high. Or maybe your benefits cover counseling—you’re the one to know. A friend of mine—a teacher—recommended her.”
“There’s a counselor at the high school….”
“Garvey,” Lou said sourly. “He’s a horse’s ass. Based on some of his comments, he thinks girls are stupid ninnies—a running bone of contention between us. One of my girls from eighth grade English had him as a guidance counselor her junior year and he told her and her parents that she wasn’t college material. She’s one of the smartest girls I’ve taught. I’ve seen him at school board and PTA meetings. I think he has seaweed between his ears. I think Cliff gives better advice at the Cliffhanger’s bar than Garvey does.”
Gina just kept staring at the slip of paper. “You think she needs counseling?”
“I think it would be a mistake to take a chance. Gina, I know we all want to say it’s just a teen romance, but teenagers feel things so deeply, so intensely. They’re years away from realizing how minor this is in the grand scheme of things, how much more manageable life will be when they’re just a little more mature. They can get very sick, make some very stupid mistakes, do crazy things that can’t be undone. They sometimes have suicidal thoughts.”
Gina gasped.
“Yes, they do. Sometimes it’s self-image problems, sometimes their home life is totally horrible or they’re relentlessly picked on at school, sometimes it’s depression, which can present in adolescence. And sometimes it’s love gone sour. Sometimes, sweetheart, it’s a desperate, emotional act that can’t be reversed. Take her to this woman,” Lou said, pointing at the paper. “This Simone Ross.”
“What if she doesn’t want to go?” Gina said softly.
“Don’t ask,” Lou said. “Take her.”
And then Gina’s eyes misted over. “I think this has been as hard on me as it’s been on her. My heart aches for her. I think it’s harder when your kids hurt than when you do.”