"A few weeks later, I received a big, very important packet. It had quite a few stock certificates and bonds. Nothing else. It was almost funny. He completely misunderstood. He thought he was being blackmailed. He thought he was buying my silence. It didn’t occur to him, I suppose, that I would never, ever let another precious child of mine near him again.
"I wanted to burn them and send the ashes back to him. But then I thought that maybe I shouldn’t. I didn’t want them, but maybe someday Tatiana would. So I put them away, where they wouldn’t be found. I never intended to use them.
"Tatiana grew up just like her mother. She was beautiful and intelligent. A little sharp tongued at times, but mostly to be funny. But she graduated from high school. She even went to a community college a few towns away. She was going to go to a four-year college to study English.
"She was visiting Boston when she met him. He was an Israeli here for the summer before he had to do his tour of duty. I think she introduced me one day, and then I didn’t see her for three weeks except late at night and in the morning. I’d never seen her happier. And when I did see them together, he looked as if he worshipped the ground she walked on. They left for two days, and I was hysterical. When they got back, they told me that they were married. I wanted to be angry with them, but they both..." She smiled as she remembered. "It’s hard to stay angry when two people love each other that much.
"He left for Israel. He promised he’d come back for her and take her back to his family. He’d been gone only a couple of weeks when she told me that she was pregnant. It was so different, Mr. Sheldon. She was so happy. She didn’t cry. She laughed.
"But then we got the call. The awful call from his family. It was quite an introduction. Her only consolation, the only thing that kept her from falling apart completely, was that he knew about their baby.
"She wasn’t able to go to college, of course. She was young yet, so it could wait until her daughter was older. But I retired after the baby was born. Tatiana took a job at one of the shops, and I took care of Miranda. It was enough to make ends meet, but not enough for Tatiana to have all of the things she wanted for herself and her baby.
"That’s when I made the decision. Really, it wasn’t my choice anymore. I gave her the stocks. I didn’t know how much they were worth at this point, but I knew it would be quite a lot. I told her that Michael Abbot was her father. I didn’t tell her anything else.
"Tatiana had been popular in school. She was one of those people that lit up a room whenever she entered it. She always had friends. But she’d never had family aside from me, and then Ash. Now Ash was gone. I didn’t realize how much she’d wanted it. She found out who Michael Abbot was, and that he’d been dead for a few years. I’d never been so happy in my life. I thanked God, but I didn’t tell her. She found out about Stephen, and that he was married with a son. She wanted to see him. She wanted to see her brother.
"Apparently, he was overjoyed. He didn’t know, of course, until she came to him. She wasn’t looking for money. She just wanted them to be friends, to be family. He wanted that too. But she didn’t understand why Stephen wouldn’t just tell his wife who she was. I think I do, Mr. Sheldon. I think he guessed what the truth was, and I think he didn’t know how to talk about it. I think I know a little bit about that.
"When she met you, she didn’t want to give her heart away so easily. She didn’t think she’d ever feel that way about anyone again after Ash. And everything was so complicated for her. Because of Miranda and because of Stephen. But she followed her heart. She really, truly wanted to be with you. She really wanted to tell you the truth. She convinced him to let her, but first he wanted to tell his wife. That’s what they were going to do when she left. I don’t know what happened after that."
Alex had been sitting in stunned silence until the last sentence. He didn’t know either, but he could guess. "I had no idea," he finally choked out. He couldn’t see in front of him. "I didn’t know."
"No one blames you for not knowing," Helen said quietly. "I thought it was important for you to know now, in case you thought something else."
Alex wiped his tears. "Why are you telling me now? They’ve been dead for a month." He felt sick saying that.
"I am not a young woman anymore. I was in my twenties with Eve, and in my forties with Tatiana. I’m in my sixties now, and I’m afraid I’m not in the best of health." She neatly folded her hands on her lap. "I’m dying, Mr. Sheldon. I have cancer, and it’s pretty advanced. It was even before Tatiana died, but I didn’t tell her. There didn’t seem to be a need. But now there is."
"I’ll do anything I can, Mrs. Hamilton."
"Thank you. Then you’ll take Miranda."
Alex froze. "You want me to raise her?"
"Frankly, you’re not my first choice, Mr. Sheldon, but there really isn’t anyone else. Tatiana tried to get in touch with Ash’s parents when Miranda was born, but they’d left. She tried to find them, but she couldn’t get through all of the red tape before she died. I’m not sure I can before my time comes either." She smiled again. "And I understand that her cousin is living with you now. It seems a certain justice, don’t you think, that Miranda should have what her mother wanted for her?"
Alex thought about Michael and how angry he was, anger even his beloved cousin Richard couldn’t always get through. Would another person make it better or worse?
Before he could answer himself, Helen called Miranda down. Alex saw her, and his heart melted in places he’d thought had been hardened forever. Her hair was dark and very wavy, and her eyes were a sharp, clear blue, but otherwise, she was all Tatiana. She was one of the children Alex had wanted to put in his house for Tatiana.
~~~
Miranda shook her head when he was done. "No, no, no. You didn’t get it. He knew who I was. He saw my mother. Just once, that last night. He saw her, and then he knew who I was." She thought she’d be sick again. "Or who he thought I was." More tears. "Why didn’t you tell us? Don’t you think it might have been different for us?"
"I wish I had, Miranda. I’d give anything right now to go back and change that."
Miranda cried again. That was something Michael would have said.
CHAPTER 57
Alex made a few phone calls. Miranda left without another word to him, then got in her car and drove to Zainab’s.
Zainab, Emily and Mitch were waiting for her. She was exhausted and couldn’t eat but she begged them not to leave her alone. She drifted off, but then she heard Zainab tell Emily that she needed to go. She needed to go back to Jessie because Richard wasn’t home. Zainab didn’t say it, but Miranda knew it was because he was somewhere else. Then she cried into her pillow again, and Emily stroked her hair until she could fall asleep.
The next morning they packed Miranda’s things into her car and drove to Richard’s house. Mitch walked Miranda’s bags in, and Emily helped Miranda through the door.
Richard took her hand. "Sweetheart, you’re going to stay here as long as you want, okay? Don’t argue with me. This is your home." He squeezed her hand. "Is there anything I can get you?"
Miranda smiled. "Please, just tell me..." She bit her lip, unable to say anymore.
Richard closed his eyes and nodded. "Everything’s taken care of. I’ve made sure of it."
She hugged him. "Thank you. You always fix everything, don’t you?"
Richard was about to make a joke when they heard someone running down the stairs. Emily gasped. Zainab beamed. There was Jessie, no streaks in her hair, but otherwise as if nothing had changed. She was furious.
She walked right up to Miranda and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Miranda Harel, what the Hell have you done? I’m the one whose brain jumped off a cliff, not you. You married Michael Abbot? And he’s your cousin? Are you crazy? You big, stupid idiot!" Jessie pulled Miranda into a hug. "Don’t you ever do that again!"
Miranda held onto Jessie for dear life, and Jessie started to cry. "I’m sorry, babe," she said. "I should hav
e been there." Then Emily and Zainab gathered around and hugged the two of them. Richard stroked Jessie’s hair and looked lovingly at Zainab. Mitch hugged Emily and patted Miranda on the shoulder.
Miranda took a deep breath. It was the first time in two days she didn’t feel sick. "It’s going to be okay," Miranda said, to herself as much as to anyone else. "It’s all going to be okay."
~~~
Lucy came to visit Alex the next day. She didn’t wait for Keith to announce her. Alex stared at her coldly.
"I’d call you a name, but I don’t think they’ve invented one yet that fits everything you’ve done."
"This is none of your business."
"You made all of it my business, and I can’t believe you would have forgotten."
"I haven’t forgotten anything, but I’m telling you, this doesn’t concern you."
"I could have fixed it all for you," Lucy hissed. "You could have let me send Michael to prison for what he did to Jessie, and then you wouldn’t have had that brief but probably uncomfortable separation from Miranda." She narrowed her eyes. "Or maybe I should just do it now?"
"Don’t you dare," Alex said quietly.
Lucy tilted her head. "Why Alex? Is he still under your protection?"
"Don’t touch him."
"No, he’s not, is he?" Lucy shook her head. "You just don’t want to upset your sweet, little Miranda." Alex didn’t say anything. "And she is pretty fragile right now, isn’t she? I wonder what it would do to her if she were to find out everything? How does a smart, scrappy young man go from almost nothing to all of this? Don’t you think she’d find it interesting?"
"About as interesting," Alex said icily, "as Richard would find it to discover how he ended up without a father, or really, without any parent to speak of." He picked up the phone receiver. "What do you say Lucy? I make my call first, or you do?"
Lucy scoffed. "Of course not. And you know that. I don’t play chicken with people I love."
"Isn’t it ironic that I’m the only person who believes that you actually do love someone?"
"But everyone knows the truth about you, no matter how you dress it up. You’re a demon." She stood up straight, straighter than she had that day Miranda had walked in on the both of them. "Don’t hurt anyone else I care about, or everyone will know what I know, consequences be damned."
Alex smirked as she left, but he needed a strong drink before he could go back to what he was doing.
CHAPTER 58
Six months later, Alex greeted Miranda in the lobby of the hospital. She looked a little brighter. It was the first time in months that he’d seen her that way.
Miranda bought a beautiful bouquet of flowers. "Shall we?"
"Right this way."
They took the elevator to the correct floor, and found the room. They knocked, and Zainab hollered to come in. They opened the door and saw Emily, tired but happy, sitting up in bed with her tiny, brownish pink, dark-haired bundle. Mitch was crunched into the bed next to her, tired and still looking like he couldn’t believe this new development. Zainab and Richard were cooing over the baby, and Jessie was rolling her eyes. "Guys, we have to speak like people around her, otherwise she’s going to think that’s how she’s supposed to talk."
Miranda gave the flowers to Mitch and kissed him on the cheek. She kissed Emily on the forehead. "Oh, Em," she sighed. "She’s just beautiful. Can I hold her?"
"Hey, I was next," Richard said, but then Zainab tapped him on the shoulder. "Okay," he grumbled.
It’s always hard to tell with newborns, but Miranda thought she could see both parents in the baby’s face. Her hair was wavy and brown like Mitch’s, but the eyebrows and cheekbones were all Emily. Miranda held the baby to her chest and closed her eyes. That last little spot in her heart, at least for right now, seemed to be knitting together. She kissed the baby’s forehead and rubbed her little nose.
"What are you going to call her?" she said, unable to take her eyes off of her.
"I like Louise," Mitch said.
"As a middle name," Emily said. Mitch made a face, but then shrugged. "I was thinking," Emily said slowly, "that Eve sounded like a really nice name."
Miranda closed her eyes and held the baby close to her heart. "Hmm," she said, looking at the bundle again. "No," she said, "I don’t think you’re Eve Graham. I think...Helen. Helen Louise Graham." Alex rubbed her back, and she looked at him with a smile.
Emily and Mitch looked at each other, and then Mitch nodded and squeezed her hand. "Yeah, I think that’s a really nice name."
"Great, it’s decided," Jessie said impatiently. "But now it’s my turn."
"Hey!" Richard said as Jessie grabbed the baby from Miranda’s arms. They all laughed, and Miranda squeezed Alex’s hand. Maybe she really was going to be happy again.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This book is dedicated to Karen Idra Kaiser, who has been at my side almost as long as Miranda and is one of the kindest people I have ever met.
Once again, my team came through with flying colors for me. Heather Rick once again helped me find the balance between too much and not enough, as well as gave some of the funniest feedback a writer could hope for. Keri Knutson continued her amazing design work for me, and she's been the reason someone lingered just a little longer on my book and decided to buy it.
One of the nicest things about social media is the ability to meet some very talented and generous people. Elle Chardou patiently answered all of my panicky questions about the business and technical side of getting a book out. I am in her debt. Claudia Hall Christian continually reminds me that everything is fluid and not to stay in one place for too long. And Erin Cawood is both my writing buddy and a friend. I am grateful for all of the chats we've had about the publishing world, technological innovations and opportunities, the blogosphere and what's good at Starbucks.
A big shout out to the writers and bloggers who hosted me on the Careful You Don't Outsmart Yourself Tour. Much praise to L.M. Stull, Megan Cashman, Thea Atkinson, Dennisse Lisseth, Lisette Brodey, Courtney Giardina, Chrissy from Every Free Chance Book Reviews, Pia Bernardino, Take Two Publishing, C.J. Brightley, Draven Ames, Louise Wise, Loren Kleinman, The Free Book Dude, Michelle Cameron and, of course, Danielle-Claude Ngontang Mba.
Where would I be without my friends? Liseli Mulala and Sheryl Light read drafts of this story and gave me important feedback. Allie Gillies, Susan Downs and Odessa Cozzolino helped spread the word about my series and Jill Powers gave me frequent encouragement to continue in this and my other writing projects.
Thanks again to my family: my sisters Suzanne, Penelope and Courtney and my mother Eileen for telling their friends about my series, and my children Samantha, Jazmyn, Jacob and Simon for bearing with me as I worked through my edits. And thanks to my husband Michael for shoulder rubs as I typed away.
Finally, thanks to the readers who have bought my book, written reviews and sent me messages to tell me what they thought. Knowing there are readers who enjoyed hanging out in my little world for a few hours makes every hour of agonizing over "that" and semicolon placement worthwhile.
An excerpt from the next book in The New Pioneers...
The China Doll
Alex Sheldon stepped on a lot of people to get to where he was, but his first opportunity might have been his most ruthless.
During that fall morning in 1980, Gerald Hendrickson was eating breakfast alone again. Annabelle had come home the night before, but she’d gotten in very late. Gerald had turned down his light, but he was still awake when she came in. He heard her light laughter and then some unintelligible whispering. He’d heard Stephen too, but then Annabelle shushed him. Had it been a few hours earlier, he might have come out to lecture the both of them. However, it was quite late, and he’d been too tired to begin a scene. Plus, although he was loath to admit it in the cold light of day as he plunged into his soft boiled egg, he liked seeing his beloved daughter happy. Stephen Abbot was emphatically not the man he would have chos
en for her, but he was old enough to know that you couldn’t always choose for your children...even when you knew what was best.
Stephen Abbot, on his own, might have been tolerable. He certainly wasn’t the only young man his age who had trouble controlling his indulgences, and Gerald was grudgingly impressed that since he’d started dating Annabelle he hadn’t been seen with anyone else. Impressed, but not surprised- Annabelle had a very well-developed sense of dignity that demanded nothing less. And Gerald, in his day, had been known to put away his fair share of liquor, and probably in greater quantities than young Mr. Abbot.
It was the older Mr. Abbot that Gerald did not approve of. He’d heard some frankly ugly rumors about Michael Abbot. He wasn’t concerned about Annabelle- if true, she was too old for him, and Michael had the ability to control himself in public. Still, it was evident even to Gerald how much Stephen withered in his father’s company. It was evident to Annabelle as well, and Gerald couldn’t help but wonder if that contributed to Stephen’s charm. Was marriage imminent? If so, Gerald hoped without any remorse that Michael Abbot’s health was indeed as poor as it looked to be.
"Good morning, father," Jim said cheerfully when he came in.
"Good morning, Jim," Gerald replied, suppressing his smile. He loved Annabelle for being headstrong and independent. He loved his oldest Jim for being agreeable, dependable and otherwise always doing the right thing. "And what are you off to today?"
Jim chuckled as he sipped his coffee. "Same thing as always, Dad. Duty calls."
Gerald nodded. Jim had no taste for finance. He’d inherited his late mother’s intense curiosity, and had gone into engineering, much to his father’s dismay. However, his father had been gratified to see him promoted to Chief Technical Officer of his company. The Hendrickson name should be recognized for something.
The Family You Choose Page 27