by Jill Mansell
There followed what felt like an awkward silence. She felt her skin heat up by a few more degrees. After several increasingly uncomfortable seconds, Zack finally nodded and said, ‘Right.’
***
What had he done? Jesus, what was he thinking of?
As he had earlier watched her arrive, Zack now stood at the window and followed Ellie Kendall’s progress as she left the house and made her way back along Ancram Street.
He had gone against everything he’d ever lived by. He’d offered Ellie Kendall the job and she had delightedly accepted it. If Barbara were here now, she would have boxed his ears.
But he hadn’t been able to help himself, simply because of the way she’d been in his company. The reason he’d taken to hiring women like Bossy Barbara and Crimplene Christine in the first place was because his two previous PAs had developed unreciprocated crushes on him that had been an added complication he could have done without.
The difference was that this time, he appeared to be the one in danger of getting emotionally involved.
What’s more, there was a good chance that Ellie was living rent-free in a flat paid for by the actor Tony Weston, who was old enough to be her father.
Zack watched her reach the end of the street and pause for a moment, illuminated in the orange glow of the streetlamp, before turning left and disappearing from view. When he could no longer see her, it almost felt as if the light had been dimmed. Oh God, this was crazy. He shouldn’t have offered her the job. If he felt this way about her, he should hire someone else and just call her, explaining why it wouldn’t be sensible to take her on and inviting her out to dinner instead.
But he could only call up a girl and ask her out to dinner if there had first been a spark between them, signaling the existence of mutual attraction.
And this was the precise reason he wouldn’t have been able to do it. Shoving his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, Zack turned away from the window. He couldn’t have done it because on Ellie Kendall’s side, there had been no spark of attraction. None whatsoever. Which meant that if he were to call her up and invite her out, the chances were that she would politely but firmly say no.
Which would mean he wouldn’t have any reason to see her again.
Which was just… unthinkable.
So unthinkable, evidently, that he’d had to offer her a job instead.
***
‘Guess what?’ Roo demanded two days later when Ellie met her in Café Rouge after work.
‘What?’ Did Roo seriously expect her to start guessing? But from the look on her face, the news wasn’t fantastic.
‘When a man sounds too good to be true… and looks too good to be true… the chances are that…’
‘He’s too good to be true?’ For a moment Ellie panicked; did she mean Zack McLaren? Oh God, and she’d handed in her notice at work. Had Roo discovered something about him and was about to tell her? Was he a crook, a terrorist, a convicted fraudster?’
‘Spot on. Cor-rect.’ Roo was drinking red wine and wearing white jeans, which probably wasn’t wise given her current state of agitation. ‘Then again, why am I even surprised? This is my life we’re talking about, after all.’
Roo’s life. Not her own. Ellie slowly exhaled. ‘Is it to do with work?’ She used the term loosely; Roo’s idea of work appeared to involve meeting up with fellow songwriters, singing random lines, and playing chords to each other for a couple of hours, then deciding that today wasn’t a happening kind of day, musically, and going down the pub instead.
‘No, it’s more to do with finding out that my boyfriend is married.’
‘Niall?’ Oh Lord, and she was crazy about him. Shocked, Ellie said, ‘Are you sure?’
Roo was spinning her silver bracelets round her thin wrist. ‘Pretty sure, yes. Seeing as he’s the one who told me.’
‘You mean they’re separated? Getting a divorce?’ That was OK, wasn’t it?
‘Nope.’ She shook her head. ‘They’re still together.’ Spin, spin, went the bracelets Niall had bought her only last week.
‘Oh no, what a bastard.’ Ellie’s heart went out to her. ‘That happened to Sally from work a couple of years ago, except she only found out when the wife turned up one night on her doorstep. She was devastated. It was horrible. Why do men think they can get away with it?’
‘Because they’re men.’ Roo took another hefty slug of wine.
‘Well, it’s his loss. And you’re better off without him,’ Ellie said consolingly. ‘You don’t need crap like that. Trust me, you’ll find someone a million times nicer. What a slimy git. Good riddance.’
Roo flinched. ‘Don’t say that.’
‘I bloody well will say it! He’s a sleazebag and you’re well out of it.’
‘You haven’t met him, though.’
‘I’m glad I didn’t! Oh, come on.’ Ellie leaned across the table and gave her arm a squeeze. ‘You’ll be OK. There are loads of fantastic men out there, just waiting for you to meet them. Lovely men, men who don’t lie, men who aren’t married… ooh, I know, you liked the look of Zack McLaren, didn’t you? When I start there next week I’ll find out if he’s single, then maybe—’
‘Sshh.’ Roo jumped as her mobile started to ring. Snatching it up from the table, she pressed it to her ear and whispered, ‘Yes? Yes. No. No, I know. Yes, me too. OK. Right. Yes. Bye.’
The furtive look on her face told Ellie who’d been on the other end of the phone. ‘That was Niall, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘And?’
‘Nothing.’
‘What did he want?’
‘Just… seeing how I am.’ Furtiveness was now mixed with defiance.
‘Is that all?’
‘Pretty much.’ Furtiveness and defiance combined with guilt. Roo drank some more wine and paid close attention to the glass.
‘You’re still talking to him, then.’ Was this how it felt to be a barrister, cross-examining in court?
‘Looks like it.’
‘Still seeing him too?’
‘Maybe.’ Pause. ‘Yes.’
‘Oh God.’ Ellie shook her head. ‘Why?’
‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Roo wailed. ‘I love him!’
So this was why Roo hadn’t liked her calling Niall a slimy git. Marveling at the power he had over her, Ellie said, ‘But he’s married.’
‘Not happily, though!’
‘Still married.’
‘But it’s not his fault.’ Roo leapt to his defense. ‘She trapped him.’
Ellie gave her a long look. ‘You mean, like in a big metal man-trap?’
‘Worse than that.’
‘So you’re telling me they have children.’
Two bright spots of color appeared in Roo’s cheeks. ‘One child. Only one. Look, he’s not a bad person,’ she pleaded. ‘He’s just trying to do the right thing. He was about to finish with her when she told him she was pregnant. He could have walked away, but he didn’t. He stayed for the sake of the baby. But she’s just been a complete nightmare. She’s made his life a misery—’
‘The baby?’
‘No! The wife! Yasmin.’ Roo’s lip curled. ‘That’s her name. Isn’t that just so… princessy? And she’s a complete bitch, you have no idea. Seriously, he tried so hard to make it work, but it was just impossible.’
‘So he’s going to leave her?’
‘Well, yes, of course he will.’
‘When?’
‘Soon.’
‘Why doesn’t he leave now?’
‘He can’t do it yet, not while the baby’s still so young. He has to stick it out until it’s a year old. Otherwise it just kind of looks bad, you know?’ Roo paused. ‘You don’t approve, do you? Don’t tell me I’m doing the wrong thing. You’re not allowed to nag.’
‘When it all goes wrong, am I allowed to say I told you so?’
‘It’s not going to go wrong. He’s brilliant. I’ve waited years to be this happy!’
‘Oh please, don’t say anything else,’ Roo begged. ‘When you meet Niall you’ll understand. I love him.’ She clapped her hand to her chest. ‘And it’s not my fault he’s married.’
Chapter 12
If you wanted to make grumpy Londoners talk to you, Ellie had discovered the answer. All you had to do was carry a huge cellophane-wrapped bouquet home from work.
‘Those for me, love?’ said the newspaper seller outside Brace House as she left the building on her last day there.
‘Ah, thanks, you shouldn’t have!’ a taxi driver yelled out of his window.
‘Cheers, darlin’, they’re my favorites,’ said a transport worker on the underground.
‘How did you know it was my birthday?’ beamed a stranger in the street.
It was like living in Mary Poppins world.
Actually, it made a nice change, having her final commute transformed into such a jolly affair. Maybe lugging flowers around wherever you went should be made compulsory. Reaching Nevis Street, Ellie let herself into the flat. Tony was already here; she could smell his Acqua di Parma cologne.
He came to greet her. ‘Hello, sweetheart. Are those for me? You didn’t need to do that.’ Delighted by his own wit, he relieved her of the cellophane-wrapped bouquet then gave her a warm hug. ‘You’re looking good.’
‘You too.’ Tony was over for a few days to meet with film producers and give a few interviews. It was lovely to see him again.
‘All settled in now?’
‘Completely. It’s brilliant here. And on Monday I start at Zack’s.’
‘Great. How was your leaving party?’
Ellie began unwrapping the flowers. ‘Emotional. Paula cried buckets. Everyone kept reminiscing about the past. They’re worried about how I’m going to cope without them. I just felt guilty because it was my decision to leave and I’m really looking forward to the new job.’ She had already told Tony this over the phone, but it bore repeating. ‘He still doesn’t know about Jamie, by the way. I’m not going to tell him.’
‘That’s fine.’ Tony nodded. ‘Don’t look so worried. Whatever’s easiest for you.’
He made coffee while she arranged the flowers in a bowl. Before heading out to meet the film producers, he told her about the project. ‘They’re pitching it as Lock, Stock meets Gavin and Stacey. They want me to play a lovable gangster who runs a line dancing club, keeps Chihuahuas, and has people shot if they annoy him.’
‘I’d watch that.’ Ellie snipped a couple of inches off the stem of a yellow gerbera. ‘So are you definitely going to do it?’
‘Maybe. We’d be on location in London, Cardiff, and Reykjavík. We’ll see.’ He added sugar to his coffee and stirred. ‘By the way, I had an email from Todd the other day. He’s living back here now.’
She concentrated on the flowers. ‘I know. He emailed me too.’
‘Have you seen him?’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘Don’t know.’ Ellie shrugged and snipped another stem. ‘Just haven’t.’
‘Do you hate him?’
‘Of course I don’t hate him!’
Tony backed off. ‘OK, no pressure. Just asking. So when am I going to meet this new friend of yours, then? The one who lives across the street?’
‘Whenever she can tear herself away from her new man. Or when he’s otherwise occupied.’ Unable to hide her disapproval, she added, ‘With his wife and baby.’
Tony said drily, ‘Oh dear.’
Damn, what was she saying? Ellie bit her tongue; it was common knowledge that Tony had been unfaithful while he’d been married to Jamie’s mother. Hastily she said, ‘Roo’s not had much luck with men. I don’t want to see her get hurt, that’s all.’
‘What’s he like?’
‘No idea. Fantastic, according to Roo. Who knows?’ The doorbell went and she felt a rush of relief; no more foot-in-mouth moments, no more talk of Todd. ‘There you go, that’ll be your car.’
***
At lunchtime on Saturday, Ellie caught the tube to Camden then headed along Parkway in the sunshine. Before leaving the flat earlier this morning to pay a visit to his tailor, Tony had said, ‘By the way, I’ve booked us a table at York and Albany. One o’clock.’ And when she’d protested that there was no need, she could rustle up something to eat here, he had shaken his head. ‘If I was staying in a hotel, we’d be meeting up somewhere decent for lunch, wouldn’t we? So let’s carry on doing that.’ Straight-faced, he’d added, ‘Not that your fried eggs on toast aren’t exquisite.’
He had a point. Tony enjoyed fine food and they both looked forward to eating out. As Ellie reached the restaurant, her stomach rumbled. She was ten minutes early, but maybe Tony was already here.
He wasn’t, yet. She made her way downstairs to the Ladies’, faffed about with her hair for a bit, and redid her lip gloss.
Heading back up the stairs, she saw a new arrival sitting at a table by the window. Her scalp prickled and her mouth went dry. Oh God, no. At that moment, alerted by the sound of her heels on the wooden floor, Todd turned to see why the footsteps had so abruptly stopped.
From the expression on his face it was clear he’d had no idea either. He was as shocked as she was. He looked older, more grown up. And he was wearing a dark green shirt and navy trousers that didn’t quite go. Gathering herself, Ellie loosened her hold on the banister rail and approached him.
‘Hello, Todd.’ Did she look older too?
‘Hi, Ellie.’ He rose awkwardly to his feet. ‘Fancy meeting you here.’
‘Well, I’m guessing this isn’t a coincidence. Tony asked me to meet him for lunch.’
Todd was evidently still wondering if he should try and give her a hug. ‘He asked me as well.’
Trust Tony to take matters into his own hands. And he wasn’t even here yet. Taking out her phone, Ellie called his number.
‘Hi, sweetheart. Is he there?’
‘Yes. Are you joining us?’
‘Ellie, just have lunch with him. Will you do that for me? And don’t worry about the bill.’ Tony’s voice was soothing. ‘All taken care of.’
‘You might live to regret that,’ said Ellie. ‘I’m going to be ordering the most expensive wine on the list.’ She hung up and looked at Todd. ‘He’s not coming. I can’t believe he’s done this.’
Todd eyed her with caution. ‘So what happens now?’
‘I don’t know.’ Ellie closed her eyes for a second, hating the fact that she’d been set up. This wasn’t a situation she wanted to be in. The last time it had happened had been during Jamie’s funeral, when all she’d wanted to do was escape from the church and run and run. That hadn’t been an option then, but it was now. If she really wanted, she could just walk out of here…
‘What’s that noise?’ Todd looked incredulous. ‘Is that your stomach?’
Stupid stomach, it was rumbling again like a cement mixer. She deliberately hadn’t had any breakfast. ‘I think I’m going to go home,’ said Ellie.
‘What did Tony say on the phone?’
‘He wants me to have lunch with you.’
Todd said steadily, ‘Why don’t you want to?’
Ellie’s toes curled. ‘I just… just…’
‘Hello!’ The head waiter smilingly approached them. ‘Your table’s ready if you’d like to come through.’
Todd raised his hand. ‘Actually, hang on, there may be a change of plan.’
OK, this was stupid. Todd was looking at her. The head waiter was waiting. The couple standing beside the bar were watching and listening…
Grrrrrowwwlllllll.
For crying out loud, had they heard that too? Had everyone in the restaurant heard it?
‘Fine.’ Ellie pressed her hand over her rumbling stomach in a futile attempt to muffle it. ‘Let’s eat.’
For the first five minutes they concentrated on the menu. Finally, when she’d learned it by heart and couldn’t stare at it a moment l
onger, Ellie said with a sigh, ‘Sorry.’
‘That’s OK.’ Todd put down his own menu. ‘Sorry about what?’
‘You know. Everything.’ A huge lump grew in her throat and she gazed down at the cutlery. ‘Today. The emails. Not wanting to see you. All of it.’
‘Do you know why you felt like that?’
‘Because I’m a horrible person.’
He shook his head. ‘Come on. You’re not.’
‘I am.’ The lump in her throat was expanding and the pretty waitress was coming over to take their order. Pushing back her chair, Ellie said hurriedly, ‘I’ll have the duck terrine and the risotto. Just give me a moment…’
She clattered downstairs for the second time, locked herself in a toilet cubicle, and wept silently until the other female customer left the bathroom and she could let out a series of honking great sobs in peace. It was a noisy, messy, undignified business, and it went on for some time, but there was no hope of stopping it. Like a toddler’s out-of-control tantrum, it just had to burn itself out.
God, what a state. Ellie eventually confronted her reflection in the mirror and winced. Puffy eyes and blotchy cheeks, just like old times. She hadn’t looked this bad in months. Rummaging in her bag, she found her all-in-one compact and trusty lip gloss.
OK, still moderately scary, but it would have to do. If she’d known this was going to happen beforehand, she’d have packed her mascara.
‘No need to say it,’ she told Todd, resuming her seat at the table. ‘I know.’
‘Sorry.’ He looked awkward.
‘Don’t be. It was just a bit overdue, that’s all. Anyway, I’m feeling better now. Did you order?’
Todd nodded.
She glanced around the restaurant, saw hastily averted eyes. ‘People are pretending not to look at me. I bet they’re trying to work out what’s going on over here.’
He managed a brief smile.