by J. M. Madden
He kept refreshing the fading screen, hoping another message would pop up. But she must have left to do something else.
Starting the truck, he pulled out of the parking lot. Glancing at the seat beside him, he called himself ten different kinds of fool. When he’d unpacked a few boxes in the living room, he’d discovered Ember’s love for elephants. The little figurine he’d bought wasn’t expensive, but it was cute, with the baby elephant sitting splay-legged, as if he’d been knocked down. He’d also gotten Drew a Spider-Man action figure, but he worried that it would be a little old for him.
Foolishness. He hadn’t called her, so he had no plans to see her, and Christmas was just a couple days away. She wouldn’t want to spend it with him anyway. She had her son, and now her dad. By the time he did see her, the holiday would be past, and he’d feel like a damn fool if he gave her the gifts then.
He smacked his hand against the steering wheel, frustrated. He didn’t know what he wanted from Ember right now. Heat surged through his body, as if to give lie to his thoughts.
Checking the side view mirror, he slid into the left lane to get ready for a turn. He’d toyed with the idea of whether or not to try to catch a flight back to Ohio, then discarded it almost as soon as it formed. There was no way he could. The Agency was officially closed Christmas Eve and Christmas, though their running cases were covered. He had to work directly before and after. His mom and dad were disappointed, but they understood. Some of the guys were meeting at John and Shannon’s house Christmas Day, just to hang out and be social. He hadn’t decided if he would go yet, but he was leaning toward it.
Shannon had done wonders for John’s disposition. Last year at this time, when Zeke had first started, John Palmer had scared the shit out of him. The former Gunnery Sergeant had been the epitome of the perfect Marine, loud and dominant, upright in all things. The wheelchair hadn’t seemed to have changed his basic disposition at all, and Zeke looked up to him for his spirit. He was the Marine Zeke had wanted to be, and didn’t get the chance to be.
Since John had gotten involved with Shannon, though, he’d changed. A little more approachable, a little more accepting. Definitely more laid back. Shannon, on the other hand, a woman who had always been kind and sweet, was even more so now. Nothing ever riled her.
Probably because she knew she had a lethal guard dog at her side.
He would love to have a chance at what John and Shannon had. But he didn’t know if he had the courage to reach for it.
Glancing at the gifts on the seat beside him, he promised himself he would stop by Ember’s apartment on the way to work.
*****
Ember paced the apartment. Dad was supposed to be over in less than twenty minutes for dinner, and she had no idea what she was going to say to him. They needed to talk, desperately; it would just be difficult to break the initial ice. As she circled the couch, she flipped a couple of box lids closed and snapped on a floor lamp. Then repositioned the new couch pillows. And picked up a couple of stray Legos. Nervousness ate at her, and she hated feeling like she needed to be on guard with her dad. She headed to the kitchen to check the casserole in the oven, then sent Zeke the text she’d promised him, telling him her dad would be over.
When Dad did eventually knock on the door, she had to take a deep breath before she swung it open.
Her first thought was that he looked older, worn, as if the week in jail had aged him many years. Guilt overwhelmed her, because her father was not a young man.
“Now, stop it,” he growled. “I can already tell we’re both going to be battling the guilt, so let’s get the apologies out of the way. I’m sorry about that night. I just wasn’t thinking clearly. I’d been remembering things and for a minute, the past blended with the present. I’m so very sorry. I would never hurt you for the world.” His dark eyes filled with tears as he cupped her bruised cheek. “You were right to file that charge against me, because it got me thinking. I probably do have some of that post-traumatic, shell-shock stuff, so I’ll go to the counseling. I promise. And I’ll be able to have your trust again if you decide to leave Drew with me.”
A tear slipped down his cheek, and it broke her heart. She lunged into her father’s arms, crying. “I’m sorry I had to do that, and I’m sorry I had to move out of the house. Drew has to be my first priority, though.”
She could feel him nodding against her in agreement. For a long minute, they just stood there in the doorway, with the cold swirling inside, and held each other.
Her father pressed a kiss against her head. “I know, honey. And you did exactly as I expected you to do. I knew we couldn’t live together for a while. So I didn’t bother posting bond. It gave you a chance to get out and get settled, and it looks like you did a wonderful job.”
She pulled back and glanced around. There were still many boxes to be emptied.
“I had help, actually.”
As she ushered him inside, she told him about the Marines that had come to her rescue and helped her out in a pinch. Her father seemed leery, then fascinated as she told him about the group from the bar. His eyes creased with humor and she realized she’d mentioned Zeke a few times. She shrugged. “It feels like he could be important to me. I’ve never reacted to a man like this.”
Her father looked intrigued. “Sounds like a big deal.”
She laughed, because Zeke was definitely a force of his own. “He definitely is.”
Drew came tearing out of his room just then and smashed into his grandfather, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Where’ve you been? I missed you and missed you. And missed you some more but you never came. Do you feel better now?”
“I know, Buddy, but I was kind of tied up with some things,” he shot a smiling look at her as he hoisted the boy in his arms. “And yes, I feel better.”
That look told her that her father was fine with the events the way they had unfolded. His sense of humor had served him well over the years, and it would now as well. The huge knot of tension in her stomach began to ease.
They had a wonderful evening. Ember explained the few shift changes she’d made at the restaurant and Drew talked about his new sitter and the friend he’d made. Although the surroundings were now different, the night itself was amazingly the same as many others they’d had together. Dad tucked Drew into bed as he had for the past four years.
She was surprised when a knock sounded on her door. Even more surprised when she found Zeke standing on the step. She sucked in a breath at the harsh beauty of his face shadowed by the overhead light. “Hi.” She smiled, ridiculously happy to see him. She swung the door wide in invitation. “Come in, please.”
He glanced inside for a moment, then shook his head. “Nah, I j-just wanted to ch-ch-check on you, make sure you were okay after seeing your father. And bring you these.” He held out two wrapped presents.
Ember blinked at them, surprised even more that he’d brought them gifts. One was wrapped in a child’s paper, and the other in a striped silver foil. They were both beautiful. “Zeke, thank you so much. You didn’t have to do this.”
He shrugged uncomfortably and glanced over his shoulder, as if thinking about escape.
“Can you come in?” she asked.
He started to shake his head, but his gaze narrowed in on something over her shoulder. His face hardened and he straightened to his full height. “I can come in for a few minutes.”
Ember stepped back and let him through. Determination rolled off of him as he walked straight to her father standing a few feet into the living room. Ember quickly shut the door and followed.
Zeke towered over the older man, and his jaw had hardened. He dropped his coat to the chair as if to show off his powerful, heavily veined arms. For a moment Ember thought he would do something rash. But instead, he stopped inches away and put his face uncomfortably close to the other man’s. “I appreciate the sacrifices you made for your men and our country, but if you ever lay a hand on Ember again, accident or otherwise, I thin
k I’ll have to teach you some manners.”
Rather than back away, her father leaned toward Zeke, with fire in his dark eyes. “I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but you need to get out of my face.”
Zeke stayed exactly where he was, and her father suddenly snapped. He slammed his hands into Zeke’s chest, trying to get him to back off. The move hardly budged the bigger man, though, which seemed to infuriate her father even more. He took a swing at Zeke, catching him square in the jaw, just like he’d done to her.
Ember cried out, fearing that her father would be hurt. Or have another heart attack. She’d never seen him so angry.
He took another swing at Zeke. Rather than take it like he did before, Zeke caught the older man’s fist in his hand and just held it. “I want you to look at the way you are acting.”
Her father struggled to free his hand, swinging with the other, but Zeke had no problem holding on. “Mr. Norton, stop. You’re overreacting.”
The anger took a solid minute to fade from her father’s face. Blinking several times, he eased his body back.
Zeke let go of his fist. “I wanted you to see how little it takes to trigger an outburst. Until you start to get counseling for your issues, you could be a danger to Ember and Drew.”
She caught the shine of tears in her dad’s eyes before he spun away.
Ember felt terrible, but she too was shocked at how little it took to send him off. She looked at Zeke. He regarded her carefully, as if waiting for her to rip into him. She forced out a small smile and shook her head.
When her father turned around, he’d gained control of his emotions but still seemed rattled. He rallied, though, and nodded to Zeke. “I appreciate you demonstrating that. I didn’t even…” his voice faded away.
Ember stepped forward when he looked at her, and it broke her heart to see how defeated he looked. She stepped close and wrapped her arms around him. He tried to pull away, but she didn’t let him. “I love you, Dad. I know you’d never deliberately hurt us.”
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “Obviously, though, I have no control over my emotions right now. He’s right.”
“The shock of your friend t-t-taking his own life is enough to…s-s-s-stir all this up.”
Ember appreciated the kindness in Zeke’s voice. He could have been a shit, rubbing it into her dad’s face that he was so out of balance, but he didn’t.
“And it would b-be n-n-natural to want to follow your friend.”
Ember couldn’t contain a sob against her father’s chest.
“But those f-feelings pass. We’ve all had them, and c-c-continue to have them when things get rough. But it can’t be an o-out. You’re a Marine. You’re better than that.”
She felt her father nod against her head, and pulled back to look up at him. “You damn well better not take your own life. You have too much to live for.”
Sighing, he cupped her bruised cheek. “I know, Ember. It’s not an option for me. Never has been.”
A black cloud that had been following her around for the past several weeks drifted away with his words. She’d just needed that small reassurance from him.
The two men apparently came to some masculine understanding, because Zeke shoved out his hand. Her father clasped it strongly and shook. “Hank Norton.”
“Zeke Foster.”
When they stepped out of the handshake, Ember took a shuddering breath. For a minute a shiver coursed through her as she took him in. Big and aggressive and beautiful. But it occurred to her then that he’d never been a threat to her father. He wouldn’t use his size and power against somebody like that.
Tears came to her eyes as she looked at his red cheek, where her father had struck him. Zeke had taken that hit to prove a point to her dad.
“Zeke, can I get you some ice or something for that?”
He scrunched up his face and waved a hand.
“Can I get you some dinner? We ate a little bit ago, but there’s plenty more.”
She crossed the room to put the presents under the little artificial tree she’d set up, then headed for the kitchen. Rather than wait for an answer, she dished out some of the chicken casserole, put in it the microwave for a minute and grabbed a pop and a spoon. She ran her hands through her loose hair and bit her lips, wishing she’d put some makeup on. Too late now. The microwave dinged and she carried the items out.
Zeke stood where she’d left him, arms crossed, but her father had pulled his coat on. She looked at him in dismay, but he waved her concern away. “I’m going to go home and enjoy my bed for the first time in a week. Thank you for dinner, honey.”
She handed the plate of food and pop to Zeke. Hugging her father, she tilted her cheek up for his normal kiss and walked him to the door. “If you’re sure, Dad.”
“I am. I’ll call you tomorrow. If you’re comfortable running the grill I may take some time away.”
Ember nodded. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”
“Okay.” He cupped her bruised cheek again, and with a sad smile walked out into the snowy night.
Closing the door after her dad, Ember took a relieved breath. As she turned to look at Zeke, he winced at the look on her face and set the food on the end table.
“I know it pr-probably ap-appeared harsh, but I had to s-show him.”
She sighed as she walked across the room to stand in front of him. He shifted as if he were going to move away, but she didn’t let him. Fisting her hand into his T-shirt, she pulled him down close enough that she could cup his scarred face and press a kiss to his red cheek.
Zeke seemed shocked that she would touch him, because he didn’t respond for a heart-stopping moment. Then he relaxed into her, cradling her head in his hand and angling his mouth to cover hers.
Ember’s nipples tingled as if he’d touched them, but he hadn’t. It was just remembered, banked need from the night before. Arousal rolled through her lower body.
If he hadn’t wrapped his arm around her back, she’d have fallen. The man made her weak in the knees. And head. She needed to catch her breath before she did something rash.
Damn it, he tasted too good.
She dragged her mouth away and pushed her hands against his shoulders. He released his hold immediately, making her stagger. He turned to face the dark window so she couldn’t see his expression.
She reached out a hand to touch his back but he leaned away from her.
“It’s okay,” he growled. “Re-really. I get it. I just read too much in to-to-to the si-sit-…yeah, fuck! I should go.”
“Zeke, wait.”
But he had already turned toward the door, snatching his coat from the end of the couch. Ember rushed to intercept him, afraid that he’d leave before she had a chance to explain. “Stop, damn it.”
“I don’t need your p-pity, Ember.”
She jumped in front of him just before he pulled the door open.
“What the hell are you talking about? The kiss?”
He grimaced, lending a darker edge to his face. Anger flashed in his look. “Yes, the damn kiss. A simple th-th-thank you would have b-been just fine. You didn’t have to act as if y-you wanted m-me.”
She frowned. “I wasn’t acting. I do want you.”
He snorted, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. I just haven’t been in this position before.”
“What po-position would that be, Ember? Being attracted to somebody who’s so fugly he disgusts you? And can’t fucking talk? But feeling obligated to try to pay him back for standing up for you with your father?”
“Quit saying that, damn it! You have no idea what I’m thinking. Yes, I am attracted to you, but the only thing fugly about you is your attitude right now.” She shoved her hair away from her face, angry, then held up a single finger. “I’ve been with one man in my life. One. And I had a son from that one night. So excuse me if I would like to try to slow down and enjoy this.” She waved a hand between t
hem.
Zeke blinked at her as if he didn’t believe her words. “One man?”
She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her breasts, unwilling to repeat herself.
“You didn’t pull away because of my scars?”
Ember shook her head at his bullheadedness. “No, I didn’t pull away because of your scars. Believe it or not, I like your scars. And your stutter doesn’t bother me.” Unable to help herself, she reached up and ran her finger over the faded silver line that ran into his lip. “But I won’t just sleep with somebody again because it’s convenient. I need more out of a relationship than that. And while I do appreciate your help with my dad and everything, I’m offended at the insinuation that I’d sleep with you to pay you back.”
Zeke winced and leaned back against the wall beside the door. He tipped his head back and barked out a laugh, Adam’s apple bobbing in his strong throat. When he looked at her again, his eyes were more calm. “I’m sorry I s-said t-that. I was just being de-de-defensive, I guess.”
Ember could understand the reaction, but it was hard to hear. “Zeke, I wouldn’t have you in my home right now if I didn’t feel something for you. I felt something the first time you walked into the grill.”
She could feel red creep into her cheeks, but she maintained the eye contact, knowing it was important to him.
“I d-d-did too.”
A warm feeling curled though Ember’s belly at his quiet admission, tempting her all over again. “Really?”
Reaching out, he tugged on a section of her hair. “I wanted to see this down around your face. Or spread across a pillow.”
Ember shut her eyes as the vision hit her.
“Or swaying as I rock you from behind.”
She moaned and something released in her lower body. She shifted, wet panties dragging against her sensitive skin. Her nipples had already hardened, chafing against her clothes. She itched to rip her sweatshirt and bra off and cash in on his words. It had been so long since she’d felt like this. No, she’d never felt like this.
When she opened her eyes, Zeke’s face had suffused with color and he stared at her hard, obviously waiting for some kind of indication of what she wanted. One hand flexed against his side. As she watched, his second palm reached forward to cup her breast.