by P. Brier
Bane smirks, he is playing with me, and from the look in his eyes, he is enjoying it. The discomfort becoming more than I can handle.
“Bane, please, stop, I can’t take anymore, it hurts, please” trying one last time to find his humanity.
I feel Ciera’s shoe connect with my ribs one more time, and instead of screaming in pain, I don’t feel anything. But Bane seems to feel everything, he looks tired now, guilty? Dejected. But he rights his emotions as soon as they appear.
“He doesn’t care, he never will. Your dead bitch” she sneers, “do it, Bane, she isn’t special, end her”
Cierra bends down and yanks me off the floor and pushes me into Bane’s arms, he holds me up enough like you would a used condom. He runs his hand down my face, and takes hold of my throat.
“You betrayed me” he states matter of fact.
“p-p-lease” I gasp. He squeezes tighter, my vison blurred. I am going to die.
“I’ll make it fast” he growls.
Blood is rushing to my head as I try to gasp for air, my lungs feel like they are about to explode. I scratch at his arms, trying to get free, but he is unmovable. Cierra turns, happy with the turn of events, she starts towards the door. But turns one last time, and takes a picture of Bane chocking me and sends it to someone. NO. She smiles and mouth the one word that will end everything. Star. Not that I should care, but if she succeeds, I would have lost everything for nothing. That was the last thing I saw, before nothingness. Is this death?
18: Rock and a Hard Place
“Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you must stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair
Then…
Jesse Montgomery
THEY SAY THAT with death comes life. That when someone dies, another life has been created, the first cry of new-born echoes through the air. I feel new. I feel like my whole body is humming, and that no matter what happens nothing can bring me down.
It was magical, better than I could have ever imagined. His hands and tongue roaming all over my body. My eyes flutter open and I feel next to me, I’m disappointed when I find it empty. I bolt out of bed and look around. Everything seems normal. The motel room is as nauseating as it was when we got here. But where could he be? He wouldn’t just leave me here. Would he? Did he leave because of last night? Humiliation flares through my cheeks, no, this isn’t happening. He wanted me, I saw it. Right? Tear well up in my eyes, and I feel the need to hide. I’m alone.
The door barges open and Bane walks in with two bags of groceries, and some clothes. He takes one look at my face and sets the bags on the small table in the corner.
“What wrong” he demands, and walks around the motel looking for anything out of order.
“Y-you weren’t here.” I squeak, embarrassed by my feebleness. I look down to hide the blush. “I-I…”
“You thought I left you, here, alone. Because of last night” he drops to his knees and encases my body with his strong muscular arms. “Look at me” he demands.
When I consider his eyes, I’m confronted with gentleness and adoration. He lifts his hand to cradle my face and places a soft kiss on my lips. Without moving he whisper into my lips, “Mine.”
He pulls me closers and kisses me much fiercer than the one before. His tongue delves into my mouth, exploring my tongue with his. Its demanding, he is making a promise. I return every nick or flick of the tongue, our hands melding together in a frenzy. He is telling me everything he can’t say with words in this one kiss. We have always been more, but never acted on it. Now we can, now we can be what the universe has been trying to say all along. I can be his, and he can be mine.
We come up for air and he leans his forehead against me. Our breathing erratic.
“I’m going to take a shower, when I get out…” he doesn’t finish the sentence, he just shakes his head and walks to the shower.
As soon as I hear the shower turning on and his feet stepping into the stream, the phone rings next to the bed.
“Hello?” I question.
“Good morning, darling. Did you have a nice trip” the chipper tone bleeds my eardrums. The feeling of dread overcomes me and I forget to breathe. She found us.
“Mother” I confirm. Act normal. Don’t show your fear. Maybe she doesn’t know about father yet. She could have just tracked my cell phone or I don’t know, contacted the FBI. “H-how is father”
She laughs and I can imagine her head falling back and her perfect hair spilling down in ringlets. She was always beautiful, people say I look like her, but I don’t see it. Where she is hard, I am soft, where she is dark, I am light. I now know she is a monster, I just don’t know what kind.
“So that’s how were playing it?’ she spits. “I know you killed your dear father. So, let’s cut to the chase. Bane and your brother have been very busy last couple years. They have intel they are not telling you about your family.” She gossips.
“What do you mean”
“Your father put you as heir to the company in his will. Everything is yours. When you killed your father, you signed your name on a business you would be disgusted with. The money everything is yours” What? Why would he leave it to me, he wanted me dead, he wanted us all dead? Something is not adding up.
I don’t want it.
“Why didn’t he leave it to Danny or Travis” I say his name, so she knows I know. She is silent on the other end.
“Oh, you, silly girl, so naive. They aren’t his.”
Danny isn’t Marco’s? Why did he stay for all those years, and how long did he know? He could of left. It wasn’t his problem. Me. I needed him. That’s why he didn’t leave. The news isn’t shocking, but the thought that my brother is dead because of me is more than I can handle. Bane kept this from me too, he said I could trust him. I am overcome with grief once again. Even though she can’t see me, I square my shoulders and try to seem brave.
“What’s your point”
“Bane knows, and now you know, but you won’t say anything, will you?” she mocks.
I don’t say anything, she huffs and continues, “So for some fucked up reason your father left everything to you.” She spits.
“I have proof of what you did, Jesse. You’re going to frame Bane for the murder of your father, disgruntled employee bullshit, and if you don’t, I will, but before the police can arrest him, I will have your precious lover boy killed, and before you think I don’t have the means to take care of all that, I wouldn’t call my bluff. You have till next week. Oh, and Jesse, think about running again, you will regret it. I’ll be in touch.” With that she hangs up, the phone drops from my hands.
I know she is telling the truth, she will have Bane killed and he will be remembered as a murderer, and she will get the money anyways. I don’t get much time to think about everything just learned. I must stay strong. Bane exits the bathroom, steam billowing around him. He looks like a God. I plant a smile on my face, not allowing the phone call to show on my face. He can’t know. I must figure out how to stop this. If not, Danny won’t be the only innocent blood on my hands.
19: I Did This
“Sometimes it’s hard to tell how fast the current's moving until you're headed over a waterfall”
― Kimberly McCreight, Reconstructing Amelia
Now…
Bane Stratus
THE SIGHT OF Jesse begging to be killed, and in so much pain sent volts of electricity in my chest. I left her there, in pain, on the ground, covered in her own blood. What happened last night, I remember seeing Cierra at the bar, I remember wanting to use her to get Jesse out of my head, but by the look of Jesse, I used her. I was just supposed to get her out of system, then take her out of this world. Easy. But instead I tortured her, and I can’t remember doing it. Now, I don’t think I can do it at all.
But what am I going to do. I can’t forgive her, but it is clear I can’t kill her. I have already received half of
the money I would get for taking care of the problem. If I don’t deliver, they will renege on their deal, and I will be the next damn target. Fuck.
I take another swig of courage, and head towards the basement, where she is waiting on the floor, no binds, and probably filled with rage. I make it to the basement door and I stall for a second to compose myself. She is going to live, but she isn’t going to be happy, not that anyone would be happy in her situation. Most people I torture, don’t make it to the part where they get angry. She survived. They didn’t.
I open the door and descend the steps. I find her curled up in a ball in the corner. Instead of relief I find myself feeling rancid, how could I do this to Jesse. But she did it to me first. But what if her story is true, she had no choice. No, I can’t forgive her, no matter what. I don’t want to kill her, not anymore. But I will never love her, that ship has sailed.
“Jesse” I whisper. She doesn’t move. I slowly start stepping closer, not wanting to startle her. There is blood everywhere on her body, and the words Little Lamb is carved into her stomach. Jesus Christ, this was all Cierra. Flashbacks invade my conscious, I remember her screaming for me to make her stop. Begging to be let go. Grasping my hand as she lost consciousness. Fear shown in her tear stained eyes, and for the first time I felt guilt for putting it there.
“Jesse, I’m not going to hurt you” I try, “I need to look at your injuries.”
She still doesn’t move, I rush to her side, I put my hand on her shoulder to try and turn her, when the touch burns my fingers. She is feverish, and unconscious. Her complexion is pale, she is breathing, but shallow. No, she can’t die. I pick her up in my arms and without much thought I carry her into the main bathroom upstairs. I turn the water on lukewarm and put her in the tub. The water lands on her and she starts to stir, when consciousness awakes her she begins to scream a deathly cry. I jump in the shower and kneel on top of her and hold her face in my hands. I never imagined I would want to save her life, to stop her death, but I can’t let her go. I feel so much hatred for what she did, but it’s better than feeling nothing, because of her I feel more than I should.
“Jesse, calm down. I know it hurts, but I have to clean you up” I can’t take her to a hospital. But I can’t let her die, not now. If she gets an infection she could die without a hospital. Her eyes turn towards me, and panic sets in.
“Stop, I’m not going to hurt you” I look at the cuts littering her body and my heart stops, “not anymore anyway” I murmur. She still tries to fight me and the more she moves the more pain she is in. She is a fighter. I grab hold of her arms and pull her to my chest, I stroke her hair. Trying to soothe her.
“Shh, please, I won’t hurt you, just calm down.” I beg.
“Why are y-you helping me” she questions, “is this a trick” she shakes as she tries to get control of her body. I hold her tighter, the feeling of her small body encased in mine is nostalgic, she always fit perfectly in my arms.
“No trick, just calm down and let me clean you up” I counter. Of course, she doesn’t trust me. I don’t even trust me. I sure as hell don’t trust her. She calms for me, I begin to wash her hair and she leans into my touch. I am gentle with her body and clean each cut the best I can. She whimpers when I hit her stomach. Letting the warm water soothe her cuts and contusions. Once I feel she has had enough, I turn the water off.
I pull her into my arms and dry her off with my towel. I grab one of my large shirts and put it over her head, she still doesn’t move. I carry her frail body to the bed and I lay her down, I sit on the edge contemplating what I am going to do. I run my hands through my hair and over my face. Jesse lays still, either too scared to move or in too much agony.
I pull open the drawer to my end table, and I pull out two aspirin from the bottle.
“Here, it will help” When I turn to hand it to her she flinches, and anger at what I have done takes over. I slam my fist on the table and get away as fast as I can, not helping the situation at all.
“Bane” her soft words stopping me from leaving. I turn and she is sitting up, her body shaking, but staying strong. Still so brave. “Why”
“Why, what?”
“What changed? Why am I not dead?” she rushes.
“I can’t kill you. I don’t forgive you, but I won’t hurt you” she stares for what feels like forever then nods, and I hate that I have given her comfort, I have lost control, so to feel like I am still in charge I add, “at least not now”. That feeling of hopefulness vanishes from her eyes, and she looks down, and nods again, this time in defeat. Asshole.
✽ ✽ ✽
Then…
Ever since I got out of the shower Jesse has been acting strange. I know she has been through a lot, I lost her trust years ago. But I thought we were past that. She is hiding something from me, and I am going to find out what.
I am waiting for a call from a buddy of mine, who has a cabin in Colorado. I figure I would surprise Jesse and go a little out of our way so we can have a break. We will stay for a week, the longest we have stayed anywhere, which has my brain working overtime, then continue to California. The cabin is in Rye and has complete surveillance, but it also has a hot tub, and mountain views, she will love it.
I look to Jesse, who is sitting on the bed reading a book we bought at the gas station, some cheesy romance from the looks of it. She is beautiful, her hair is loose, hanging down her back, she is wearing a purple tank top, with a pair of jeans, that show off every curve. She is perfect. She is mine. She looks up and catches me staring She smiles nervously and focuses back on her book, fuck she doesn’t know how incredible she is. I want to make her smile every day, for the rest of her life.
Everything about this girl shocks me. For so long everyone has tried to kill her heart, but they haven’t succeeded. She is still kind and the most courageous woman I know. I am proud of her. Her life has been uprooted, not that it was a good life to begin with, but she still holds true, she is everything I will never be, but god damn it if I don’t want to try. For her.
I walk towards her and kneel in front of the bed. I put my hand on her cheek, run my thumb over her plump bottom lip. She leans into my touch, her eyes lifting from her book. I lean forward and capture the bottom lip with my teeth and follow through with my tongue to calm the bite. She returns the kiss with urgency and grabs hold of the back of my neck, the book forgotten, falling to the floor. She uses me to pull herself forward so she is hanging off the edge of the bed and her legs are wrapped around my waist. I lean her back and lay my body flush with hers.
“The small things you do, bring the beast out in me, baby, I can’t control it. I can’t get enough of you”
I kiss my way from her temple to her cheeks, then her chin, grabbing hold of her throat, lightly, but demanding, I lick her throat and feel her swallow underneath my caresses. I continue my journey down to her mounds and kiss all around, not touching her perk nipples through her tank top. I move my hand to bridge underneath her top, pulling it up as I kiss every inch that is exposed. When I reach her breast, I lift it over her head and continue my exploration. She shivers at my touch and goosebumps trail my caress.
“Just touching you is more than I ever thought I’d get. But being inside you” I trail off not being about to finish the sentence. I reach her navel and twirl my tongue around it and continue to my destination, the pink beauty between her legs. I link my fingers into her jeans and remove them faster than intended, my body out of control. She is wearing a solid black boy short underwear, and like a savage I rip them off her, she shrieks, which causes me to grin.
I pull her knees up and out so I can get a better view of her pussy, glistening in arousal. I lick the small nub and she moans in approval, letting me know in just that small sound, she is mine. I continue to lap at her clit, not giving up rhythm, she grinds her hips further into my face and I grab hold of her thighs.
“P-please don’t stop” she gasps, her hands fisting the sheets.
“Oh, ba
by, I will never stop. Mine” I say like a caveman, before I continue eating her pussy.
Her breathing becomes erratic and I know she is close. I continue my ministration and focusing on the tip, I add two fingers, and I feel her convulse around them. She screams my name as she comes all over my hand and tongue. Her sticky sweetness coating my hand, I bring them up and lick her cream off my finger. She is watching me intently, not wanting to miss the show.
I crawl back up and kiss her beautiful lips, letting her taste herself. I grip my cock and bring it to her entrance, and with a swift motion I slide into her wet, tight, cunt, and nothing has ever been sweeter.
I plunge in and out and watch as ecstasy glimmers in her eyes.
“Fuck, baby you’re so tight” I grunt.
I want her from the back, I pull out and stroke my cock, I lift her up and turn her on her knees, stand behind her. She is gyrating her hips, ready for my thickness. Without warning, I slam into her hole and pound in and out of her as I hear
screams of pleasure billow through the room. She sounds amazing.
“God Damn” I rush, “Jesus fucking Christ, Jesse”
“Bane”
“I know baby, I got you” and with that she comes on my cock, her pussy walls squeezing the orgasm out of me. She is milking me dry and I come inside her beautiful youthful pussy.
I hold her to my chest, her back against mine, our breathing in unison and we both come down from the best orgasm of both of our lives. She was perfect. She lets me lead and show her all the ways her body can work. She is the perfect student, but she is also the perfect lover. I am the first and the last to ever feel her warmth.
Feelings I have never felt before invading my soul, and I find myself falling for this young courageous woman. I always had feeling for her but now, I feel the need to tell her. She is it for me, I will die to keep her safe, I will never betray her, I fucking love her.