‘Which shows how foolish I am.’ Lady Venetia sniffed, her lips trembling. ‘I quite liked her, despite her overbearing manners. I had no idea she had no money. When I commented on the state of her house, she said she planned to refurbish and was ridding herself of old furniture. I even encouraged her attraction to William. Had I not done so, none of this would have happened.’
‘Venetia, dear, you’re gabbling,’ Lord Vaughn chastised her gently. ‘Now give Flora her coffee.’
‘Oh, of course, sorry.’ She stared at the cup and saucer for a few seconds before handing it to Flora. Her empty hand shook slightly and she brought it to her mouth in silent distress.
‘I doubt you can be held responsible in any way, Lady Vaughn.’ Bunny flicked up the back of his jacket and took the seat beside Flora.
‘It’s no one’s fault but mine.’ William stood with his hands at his sides like an awkward schoolboy. ‘I should never have—’
‘Please, stop this.’ Flora replaced her cup in the saucer after one sip. ‘Self-recriminations don’t help, what’s done is done. Mr McCallum said – some things, and I need an explanation.’
‘One which is well overdue, Flora.’ William fetched a straight-backed chair from the side of the room and dragged it into place in front of Flora. He perched on the edge, his elbows on his knees and head jutted forward. ‘You must be angry and confused, but I hope you’ll allow me to explain.’
‘More lies and secrets?’ Flora said, aware she sounded bitter but didn’t care. She picked a nut from a Florentine biscuit tucked into her saucer and brought it to her mouth. She wanted to devour it whole but didn’t like to in front of everyone. Not when they were all looking at her.
‘I know you’re angry,’ Bunny whispered, easing backwards slightly, as if to give William space to state his case. ‘Just listen to him.’
‘That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?’ Flora began. ‘However, if you don’t mind, I could do without hearing the part about my being the result of a youthful frolic with a maid. It’s humiliating enough knowing everyone has gone to great lengths to conceal the truth from me all my life, including the man I believed to be my father.’ She blinked away sudden tears, unable to remove Riordan Maguire from the box in her head marked ‘parent’.
‘Are you sure you want an explanation, Flora?’ Jocasta raised a sardonic brow at Flora. ‘You seem to have worked it all out by yourself.’
‘Quiet, Jo,’ Lord Vaughn snapped, which evoked a sulky look from his daughter, who gave an apologetic shrug.
‘It wasn’t like that, truly.’ William squeezed his eyes shut then opened them again on a sigh, which made Flora regret her casual cruelty. Perhaps he did deserve a fair hearing. She studied him properly, half expecting him to look different from the man she had always known as her employer’s brother. If anything, Flora was the one who had changed. Her perception of herself had shifted and she no longer felt anchored to her old life. ‘I’ve been irresponsible for too long,’ William said. ‘I’ve allowed others to cover up my mistakes, but I did try to make amends. I simply wasn’t allowed to.’
Flora was about to ask what he meant but was interrupted.
‘Is this absolutely necessary, William?’ Lady Venetia demanded, a tremor in her voice.
‘Of course it is!’ Lord Vaughn joined the conversation. ‘Now do be quiet, Venetia.’
Flora blinked in surprise, never having heard Lord Vaughn talk to his wife that way before.
Lady Venetia’s bottom lip trembled and she scrabbled for a handkerchief. Jocasta moved to her mother’s side and slid an arm round her shoulders. William’s soft voice became the only sound in the room as he relayed the story of his arrogant youth, where on the marriage of his older sister, his fortunes had taken a turn for the better, thus introducing him into company he had hitherto been denied. ‘I thought I could have everything, including Lily.’
Flora winced and Bunny eased closer, and slid his arm round her.
‘I want you to know,’ William said gently, ‘that your mother and I were deeply in love. She was no brief encounter discarded as soon as I discovered she carried my child. I wanted to marry her.’
Flora jerked up her chin. ‘Then why didn’t you?’ But she knew the answer to that. For Lady Vaughn’s brother to have married a lady’s maid wouldn’t have gone down well in the social pages.
‘That was my fault.’ Lady Venetia’s voice came again ‘When I found out, I made him cancel the wedding.’ She continued to hover at the back of the room as if unwilling to be included in the revelations, but without the determination to leave.
‘You had arranged a wedding?’ Part of her wanted to demand they stop, go back to the way it was when she was the butler’s daughter and not privy to family secrets and conflict.
‘Yes, we had.’ William dry-washed his face with both hands. When he raised his head again his eyes had clouded with anguish. ‘I was weak and allowed Venetia to convince me it was the wrong thing to do. Thus when Riordan offered to—’
‘Make an honest woman of her?’ Flora raised a cynical eyebrow in his direction.
‘Something like that.’ William shot a hard look at Lady Venetia. ‘I knew Riordan loved Lily, so I let myself be convinced it was best for everyone. The family sent me to America, and I might have drifted for a while, but no one was more surprised than I when I made a success in the railroads.’
‘You have to understand,’ Lady Venetia interrupted, ‘I was a very different person in those days. Appearances were everything and a lady whose servants were out of control reflected badly upon the family name.’ She let her voice trail off as the tension in the room stretched. ‘At least, that’s what I was led to believe.’
Flora recalled what Jocasta had said about her grandmother’s behaviour towards the young Venetia. Suddenly she felt less critical.
‘Wait a moment.’ Flora held up her hand. ‘If William was in America, what happened in the lodge house when I was a small child?’ The scene which had been the cause of a lifetime of nightmares.
‘I might be able to answer that,’ William began. ‘I returned to England when you were almost two, Flora. Lily had settled with you and Riordan in the lodge. I’m afraid that was like salt in the wound. I tried to avoid her, but I couldn’t keep away. I went to the lodge one summer’s afternoon and begged her to come away with me.’ He shook his head in response to Flora’s unspoken question. ‘She refused. Lily said Riordan was good to her, that she was happy and she had a child she adored. She told me I should go back to my life and let her live hers.’ He inhaled slowly and blew out a breath through pursed lips. ‘I couldn’t believe she had rejected me, so I tried to convince her. She stood firm, so to persuade her I picked you up. You were—’
‘—playing on a rag rug in front of the range,’ Flora said, recalling the scene in her head.
‘Yes. A mistake, but I thought it would persuade her that we belonged together. Instead she panicked. Lily thought I was about to take you away from her. She lunged at me with something, a skillet I think. She caught me on the side of my head. Instinctively I brought up an arm to avoid it and you fell out of my arms. She staggered backwards and you fell to the floor, on that same rug you mentioned. Lily hit her head on the kitchen table as she fell and – well it was – chaotic. You weren’t hurt but you screamed, and there was Lily lying on the floor with blood coming from her forehead.’
‘Then what happened?’ Flora summoned the scene again, but as always, the images stopped with her holding her mother’s skirt and the coppery smell of blood.
‘Patience, Flora,’ Bunny whispered. ‘He’s trying to explain.’
Flora nodded. ‘I’m sorry, but this has been a shadow in my life for so long. Now there’s a chance to put a stop to those dreams for good. Maybe your talks about Freud meant something after all.’ She offered Bunny a weak smile that he returned.
‘Riordan happened,’ William said when she turned back to him. ‘He must have seen my horse outside, or someone told
him I was there. He came rushing in and threw me out. When I had made sure Lily wasn’t badly injured, I went back to America. I never saw Lily again.’
‘That wasn’t the end of the story though was it?’ Flora asked through a tight throat. ‘Some time after that, my mother died.’
‘Four years later,’ William said. ‘I hadn’t set foot in England during that time, but Venetia wrote to me. She told me about Lily’s work with Miss Sawyer and the night she went to Sam Coombe’s house.’
‘I thought,’ Lady Venetia began and then faltered. ‘I thought Lily had run away to be with William. That they had planned it and she had boarded ship for America.’ She sniffed once into her handkerchief, then straightened her shoulders.
‘I hadn’t seen her, and there was no plan, because Lily made it clear to me when we last spoke that nothing would have come between Lily and Flora.’ William took up the story again. ‘She wouldn’t have simply, nor would she have taken Flora away from the man she had grown up with as a father. When we were forced to realize Lily wasn’t coming back, Riordan and I came to an agreement. He insisted you be raised as his child. You were all he had left of Lily. All either of us had.’ He took her free hand in his, his touch warm and so natural, Flora left it there. ‘I didn’t forget you, how could I? Whenever I came back to England, I visited you.’
‘I made mistakes, Flora,’ Lady Venetia said. ‘We all did. Even Lily. I only hope you may come to understand.’
‘Understand why you took the coward’s way out?’ Flora split a look between Lady Venetia and William. ‘You both did.’ Her chest tightened at the thought she wasn’t considered good enough then to be part of their family. Perhaps she wasn’t now either? It was obvious what and whom Lady Venetia was protecting all those years ago and it was neither Lily, nor Flora. It was the Vaughn family name.
‘Flora, can you forgive my mistake?’ William asked gently.
‘Which one? Leaving my mother with child when you were about to marry her, or attacking her when she wouldn’t leave with you when you deigned to return?’
‘That’s not how it happened.’ He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them again, they contained new resolve. ‘Even so, I ask your forgiveness for all of it. Not that I haven’t regretted every rash act since I met Lily. Everything except Lily herself. I will always be grateful I knew and loved her. I’m grateful too that she had you. There was always you and whenever I returned to England, I saw you in her.’
Flora’s anger receded and tears pricked the back of her throat. ‘I never suspected. Not for a moment.’
‘Why should you?’ Bunny said. ‘As far as everyone was concerned, Riordan Maguire was your father.’
‘My mother must have been a special woman for two men to be so devoted to her?’ Flora said it with a degree of hope, but in her own ears she sounded cynical.
‘Indeed she was,’ William’s smile gave truth to his words. ‘Riordan and I always wished you had known her for longer. Six years wasn’t enough.’
‘So do I,’ Flora murmured. ‘What I do remember is vague, and fragmented. Her voice, her smile, but which don’t seem real now.’
‘I’m sorry that my actions deprived you of a more privileged childhood,’ Lady Venetia said.
‘I’m not ashamed of my upbringing, Lady Venetia,’ Flora said, ignoring her condescension. ‘Riordan Maguire was an exemplary parent who never let me down.’ She levelled an accusing stare on William and when he flushed, she bit her lip. What right did she really have to criticize them? Then her throat burned as she recalled with a shock that the one constant person in her life was gone and she would never see or talk to him again.
‘He was indeed an exceptional manservant. We’ll miss him dreadfully,’ Lady Venetia said, displaying her famous lack of tact, then compounded it. ‘I’m only glad I sent Eddy back to bed after dinner. I don’t want him to know about our family indiscretions.’
Jocasta silenced her with a look, reminding Flora of the lunch they had shared on the terrace.
‘Jocasta?’ she began. ‘When I said my mother had married the father of her child, you questioned it. I didn’t think much of it at the time but, well – you knew didn’t you?’
‘Jocasta?’ Lady Venetia stared at her daughter wide-eyed. ‘I did everything I could to keep it from you girls. Do Amelia and Emerald know too?’
‘What does it matter now, Venetia?’ Lord Vaughn snapped. ‘Hasn’t any of this told you what damage secrets do? Mrs Mountjoy would have had no weapons to use against us without all this subterfuge. Oh, not that I blame you, Venetia,’ he said in response to the horrified look on his wife’s face. ‘The time for all that is done, don’t you think?’
‘Hear hear,’ Jocasta said.
‘I wish you had told me,’ Flora whispered, mainly for Jocasta’s benefit. ‘Even if it was only gossip. Although I understand why you didn’t.’
‘I would hardly accuse my uncle of fathering the butler’s daughter and make my mother a liar.’ Jocasta wrinkled her nose in distaste. ‘One doesn’t talk about things like that.’
Flora sighed. Now Jocasta sounded like her mother.
‘Now if you all don’t mind,’ William said, his tone commanding silence. ‘May I have a few moments with Flora alone?’
‘Oh, yes, well of course you may.’ Lady Venetia set about ushering them all to their feet and towards the door, her jerky movements resembling those of a nervous sheepdog.
‘Will you be all right?’ Bunny whispered. His eyes glinted behind his spectacles indicating he would stand his ground if she asked him to.
‘I’ll be fine.’ She ran a finger along his jaw.
He nodded and rose, joining Jocasta by the door.
‘I have to accept some culpability in this matter,’ Lord Vaughn said, pausing on his way out. ‘I capitulated more easily than I should have, for which I blame my own mother entirely. You see,’ he tucked his hands in the pockets of his jacket and hunched his shoulders, ‘my youngest brother was the result of a liaison between my father and the daughter of the local reverend. Thus we’re hardly in a position to throw stones.’
‘Uncle Henry?’ Jocasta collided with him as he blocked the door, halted and stared as if she had been struck. ‘I had no idea.’
‘Of course not, Jo,’ her father said, dismissive. ‘As you said yourself, one doesn’t bandy these things about. They wouldn’t be family secrets otherwise.’
‘Oh, really, George.’ Lady Venetia’s shocked face reappeared round the door frame. ‘Whatever possessed you to repeat that story?’
Jocasta’s voice could still be heard clearly from the hall. ‘Wait until I write to Meely and tell her that her favourite uncle—’
‘You’ll do no such thing!’ her mother cut her off. ‘The Astors are grander than we are. They would never understand.’
‘Can’t stop me telling Jeremy though, the only scandal in his family is…’ Jocasta’s voice receded into inaudibility as the door closed.
Silence surrounded Flora, broken only by the tick of the mantel clock, leaving her self-conscious and suddenly shy when William lowered himself onto the sofa beside her. What was she expected to say to this man who was little more than a stranger?
She looked down at the patterns the scratches had made on her hands, as if they didn’t belong to her. ‘What do we do now?’ she asked in a voice that shook.
‘I don’t expect you to call me “Father”, if that’s what worries you. However, I would welcome an opportunity to get to know you better.’
‘I think that’s for the future.’ Flora raised her head and looked into his eyes. Eyes she saw in her mirror every morning; a thought that unnerved and yet strangely pleased her at the same time.
She took a deep breath. ‘For now, I need time to mourn the only father I’ve ever known.’
‘I-I understand.’ A shadow passed across his face which told her he had hoped for something more. Something she couldn’t give him – not yet.
28
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nbsp; Flora woke the next morning with stiff hip, sore hands and a sadness that dragged at her heart. It was as if she had lost Riordan twice, once to death and then discovering he wasn’t a blood relative. Later that morning she would say goodbye to him forever, taking him even further away.
She and Bunny arrived for breakfast to find Eddy, dressed in black mourning and his hair still damp from his bath, tucking into a large plate of fried sausages, bacon and eggs.
‘Can you believe-’ he broke off to cut into a sausage. ‘The maid brought up a bowl of bread and milk on a tray and said it was my breakfast?’
‘How dare she? Bunny scraped back the chair and gestured Flora into it, his lips twitching. ‘I wouldn’t put up with that sort of treatment if I were you, young man.’
Eddy snorted a laugh, but didn’t respond as his mouth was full.
‘I’ll fetch your meal for you, Flora,’ Bunny whispered as he tucked in her chair. ‘What would you like?’
‘Eggs for me, please, and maybe a tomato.’ Flora smiled up at him, grateful he didn’t force something more substantial on her. She never could stomach cooked meat first thing in the morning. ‘I take it you are feeling better, Eddy?’ She arranged her napkin over her lap that kept sliding over the heavy black fabric.
‘Much.’ Eddy grinned, just as the door opened to admit Lord and Lady Vaughn and William. The latter greeted everyone in turn, his gaze lingering on Flora for longer than was necessary.
Flora dipped her nose to a cup of coffee a footman had placed before her. A night’s sleep and a new day had not made the situation any more real, and as she watched William move round the room, she kept repeating in her head that he was her father, but the sentiment wasn’t there, only words.
Lord Vaughn paused only long enough to wish everyone a sincere, but subdued, ‘Good morning, before he advanced on the bain-maries on the sideboard rubbing his hands together. ‘I’m famished.’
‘Eddy!’ Lady Venetia halted at the sight of her son. ‘Why aren’t you in bed?’
Murder at Cleeve Abbey Page 31