by Ward, Marsha
Brother Jeff opened the book, found the place he wanted, and read, “’Behold, here are the waters of Mormon and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and to comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?’”
James restrained himself from rising to his feet and calling out, “Yes, this is the desire of my heart!” He shifted in his seat and looked around, saw Jessie staring at him, and wondered if he had said it out loud. He broke into a sweat despite the coolness of the morning.
Brother Jeff shut the book with a thump and gave it back to Miss Becky.
“Are we not commanded to be faithful in carrying out our duty? Yes, and we do it out of love, one for another, even as Christ loved the Church for our sakes.
“Now we will lay the body of our sister in the grave, here beside our trail, but the memories we will take with us are of a sweet sister who was faithful in all her dealings, kindhearted, hardworking, and cheerful in adversity. We will commend her spirit to the keeping of Our Lord, and pledge to remember our time with her on earth with glad hearts.”
Brother Jeff gestured to the four men who had earlier carried the body to the graveside. They came forward, took up the shrouded body, and gently laid it in the bottom of the grave. Then they picked up shovels and scooped the earth into place.
James looked away while they filled the grave, remembering all too clearly the similar labor he had performed just days before, in a place not so far away. His heart thumped hard in his chest, and he gripped his hands together until they ached.
When the men returned to their seats, Brother Jeff spoke again. “We have among us today several who wish to be baptized like those people of Alma’s day and time. When we have concluded this service, those who wish to do so may gather on the side of the river to witness the baptisms,” he said.
Brother Jeff ended his sermon with a few more thoughts and scriptures that James had never heard before. He led them in singing another song, one that the Bingham party didn’t know. It included a verse about dying “before our journey’s through,” but all being well, as it was a happy day, free from toil and sorrow. James felt buoyed up, even though he had nothing to do with the family who mourned.
Another Mormon gave a prayer, and at the “Amen,” the people rose to their feet and gathered around Sister Eliza, who dabbed ineffectually at her streaming eyes.
As the Mormons comforted the woman, James felt the grip of conflicting emotions. Grief, joy, and apprehension swirled together in his head, and he hoped he could maintain a steady countenance among these strangers.
Brother Jeff approached with the Fletchers close behind him and touched James on the elbow. “Are you ready?” he asked. “If so, follow me.” He turned and strode toward the river’s edge, taking off his coat as he walked. He stopped at the bank to remove his boots.
James hesitated a moment, his stomach churning. Then he went after Brother Jeff, stripping off his coat, as well.
The rocks put in the stream yesterday had done their work, and a fair-sized pool of water stood behind the temporary dam. Brother Jeff greeted those who had approached and called for another prayer.
This time, the Mormon who prayed asked for blessings upon the converts, that they would be able to have clear minds to learn more of the doctrines of the kingdom, and for a safe journey through life until they could join the Saints in Zion.
James stood stiffly alongside Robert and Hannah. He looked over at them. Their heads were bowed as they followed the prayer. Hannah, in particular, seemed relaxed and serene, patting her child on the back and swaying. James shut his eyes and bent his head.
The prayer ended, and Brother Jeff waded into the pool. He put out his hand and gestured for James to join him. James took off his boots and followed. The shock of the cold water when he entered the stream ran up his legs and spread into his chest, but James persevered until he stood beside the Mormon leader.
Brother Jeff smiled at him, and gave him quick instructions concerning stopping up his nostrils when the time came. He raised his arm and called James by name, said he was commissioned by Jesus Christ to do this baptism, told him to hold his nose, and laid him down in the water. James’s weight pulled Brother Jeff off balance on the slick rocky bottom, and he went under too. They both came up sputtering and laughing.
“Whew! I do feel clean!” James said, shaking his head. Water drops spattered into the creek’s flow. “So now I’m a Mormon?” he asked, and began to shiver in the chilly breeze. Oddly, his heart felt warm, though his skin bristled with gooseflesh.
Brother Jeff smiled. “Almost. We’ll give you a confirmation by the laying on of hands. After that, you’ll be a Saint.” He turned James toward the water’s edge, and James picked his way across the rocks. Brother Jeff beckoned to Robert to enter the water.
When James reached the creek bank, Jessie surprised him by holding out a blanket. He took it, thanked her, and wrapped it around himself. Ned came and took Jessie’s arm, as though he wanted to remove her from the area.
James heard her whisper, “I want to watch, Ned.” The man dropped his hand, but stayed at her side.
By then, Robert had made his way to Brother Jeff, who repeated the process of praying and baptizing. Robert came out of the water, shouting for joy. Brother Jeff patted his arm, beamed, and sent him back to the bank. As he approached, Hannah handed the baby to Mrs. Bingham and stooped to pick up a blanket. She gave it to Robert and stepped into the creek for her own turn.
“Watch your step, ma’am,” Brother Jeff said, as he helped Hannah enter the pool of water. He repeated the same ceremony and, when he had finished, helped Hannah out of the water. Robert embraced her and wrapped her in the blanket, wiping a few tears from her smiling face.
James looked around. Where would the laying on of hands that Brother Jeff mentioned take place? Several Mormon men had moved away from the river and surrounded a chair someone had brought to the site. Brother Jeff joined them after toweling the water off his legs and torso and shrugging into his black coat. He waved a hand at James.
James gave the blanket back to Jessie and went to sit down on the chair. The men put their hands on his head. The hands warmed him. Brother Jeff spoke, his voice soft, but firm, as he pronounced the words that confirmed James a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and gave him gifts and blessings from heaven.
At the end of the prayer, Brother Jeff patted James on the shoulder. He leaned over and whispered, “You are a member of God’s Kingdom. Now we’re going to give you the priesthood and ordain you an elder. Remember, we spoke of this power of God,” he added.
James nodded, a lump in his throat.
Again, Brother Jeff’s voice was soft and steady as he prayed and gave James the priesthood.
James was no longer cold. He sat beneath the warm hands of his brothers, soaking in the words and the feeling of overwhelming strength that caused him to shake a bit. The simple words seemed to come from God Himself, and sank forcefully into his soul.
Brother Jeff said, “Amen,” which the other men echoed.
James said, “Amen,” rose to his feet, and embraced Brother Jeff. “Thank you,” he whispered in his ear. “I’m mighty obliged.”
“You’re welcome,” said Brother Jeff. “I am most pleased to do it. Be faithful and true, and the desires of your heart will be met, if it is God’s will.”
&
nbsp; James’s heart soared, remembering his most precious desire: being one with Amparo forever. But that was a future promise, for a future time.
The other men embraced James in their turn, and he would have stepped away, but Brother Jeff said, “Join us in the circle to confirm the Fletchers. You have that right and duty now.”
James expelled a lungful of air as the surprise hit him, but did as he was bidden, and placed himself between two brothers who had made room for him.
Robert sat in the chair. Brother Jeff confirmed him as a new member of the Church and gave him the Holy Ghost. Then he gave Robert the priesthood, as he had done with James, and invited him to join the circle for Hannah’s confirmation. James and Robert looked at each other.
Robert grinned. “This is good,” he murmured. “Very good.”
James nodded. The strength he felt in the circle of men—brethren, he reminded himself—filled his chest with awe. He’d been a lone man for so long, all the way back to when he’d left his family. He’d missed his brothers, even after he married Amparo and gained her company. Falling in love with her had not driven out the yearning for family, for brotherhood. He sensed it here, the bonds of men united in purpose. His heart swelled throughout Hannah’s confirmation until, when the brethren all said “Amen” together, he thought it would burst the walls of his chest. A few deep breaths helped calm him. This was very good.
A few moments later, Brother Jeff sat on a barrel in the Mormon camp and put a few blank pieces of paper on a makeshift desk in front of him. “Brother Harris,” he asked, “you got that calendar you’re keeping handy? What’s the date today?”
Brother Harris went to fetch his calendar and proclaimed the day was Saturday, January 17, 1867.
Brother Jeff wrote out a certificate, stating that he, Jeffrey Julander, Elder, had baptized and confirmed James Owen on that date, and wrote another certificate as proof that he had ordained him an elder. He gave the two pieces of paper to James. “Keep them safe, now. When you make it to Zion, you’ll need the proof of your membership and priesthood office in Christ’s Kingdom.”
“Thank you. I will do that.” After reading the certificates over twice, James folded them carefully and thanked Brother Jeff again.
The man wrote other certificates for Robert and Hannah. “Please join us tomorrow at eight o’clock for Sabbath services,” he said to the new Mormons as he passed one of the papers to Hannah. “We’ll have the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper.”
Robert said, “I was hoping we could be on our way tomorrow.”
“You’ll be on the road before noon,” Brother Jeff promised.
“Good. I reckon we’ll be there,” Robert promised.
Chapter 34
To James’s surprise, Brother Jeff involved Robert and him in the Sabbath service the next morning. He asked Robert to offer the opening prayer. He knelt beside James and read a prayer over crumbled biscuit pieces that represented the body of Christ. After other men had given the bits of biscuit to the congregation, Brother Jeff pointed out the verse in a book of scripture called the Doctrine and Covenants that was the prayer James was to read. He did so, holding a large cup of water that stood in for the blood that Christ shed for mankind. This was passed to the Mormons as well.
James watched as Hannah sipped from the cup and passed it on. Her face glowed with joy. A feeling of comfort enveloped him, and he knew his decision to become a Saint was right.
After the Lord’s Supper had been celebrated, Brother Jeff announced that their meeting would include testimonies from the assembled Saints. Then he sat down.
James looked around. What an odd statement. Wasn’t Brother Jeff supposed to give a sermon?
A man got up and said how glad he was to take the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper and renew his baptismal covenants with God. He had kind words for James and the Fletchers, accepting a new way of life and new beliefs. After a bit, he sat down.
Brother Martin arose and gave his testimony of love for the gospel of Jesus Christ and of all it meant to him. When he’d had his say, he wiped the moisture from his eyes, sat down, and took Miz Eliza’s hand in his.
She stood up beside him and, weeping, spoke of her hope in everlasting life and of the comfort she had in knowing her husband held the priesthood of God and that at the end of their journey, they could be sealed together for eternity. She wiped her nose on her apron, slipped a book from her pocket, and come toward James, who stood at her approach.
“This is Laurie Sue’s Doctrine and Covenants,” she said, holding the book out to James. “I reckon she don’t need it now, and I think she would like to see it put to good use by a new brother in the gospel. Please take it in remembrance of her.”
James received the book in both his hands and stood still, rubbing one thumb over the worn cover. “I thank you, Miz Eliza. I will keep it safe and study it carefully.”
As she returned to her seat, James knew he couldn’t sit down. He had to say something to these people. He made his way to the front and turned to the congregation.
“I want to give all of you thanks for the kind fashion you’ve received me as one of you. Brother Jeff thought I’d find odd the beliefs he told me about, but I have a burning conviction that they are God’s truth. I’m mighty sure I don’t know all your ways, or God’s ways, but I mean to read and follow all the commandments in this book.
“I reckon I’m supposed to give a testimony here. I know my love for my wife didn’t die when she passed on, and I’m mighty grateful to God to hear that He gave you a way to bind a man and wife together beyond the grave. I reckon that’ll keep me sane for a good long time, until I can join you in Zion and make that happen for me and Amparo. In the name of Jesus, Amen.”
His legs quivering like jelly, James headed back to his seat before they could collapse. As he walked, he glanced over the congregation. Jessie sat at the back, and he didn’t know how long she’d been there. She didn’t meet his eye. Her head was bowed a little forward, and her wheat-colored hair rippled beside her cheeks.
He bit his lip and took his seat. Hearing him profess his love for Amparo in a public meeting probably cut her to the quick, he thought, but reminded himself that Jessie was pledged to marry Ned Heizer. His feelings about another woman shouldn’t be any bother to her. Still, he struggled to reconcile the facts with his emotions.
Unsettled, James turned his gaze to the front and gave attention to the other Saints who spoke. Hannah abruptly handed the baby to Mrs. Bingham and stood.
“I’m so grateful to have my sins washed clean,” she said, and sat down as fast as she had popped up. She grabbed the child and kissed his tiny brow.
After a while, Brother Jeff called for a hymn, and the meeting ended with another prayer.
Before James could leave to tie the pack on his mule, Brother Jeff clapped him on the shoulder and shook his hand.
“Well done, Brother James. I thank you for your help during the meeting.”
“I wondered why you asked me. You have so many brothers who know what they’re doing.”
“Y’all needed to learn how to administer the ordinances in the Church. I’ve called Brother Fletcher to be the presiding elder to the Saints in your party. You’re going to be a mighty small congregation, but I hope you will be able to learn more about the gospel and convert a few others before you come to Zion.”
James bit his lip. “That may be,” he said, and straightened his shoulders. “Thank you for your instruction, Brother Jeff. It’s been a great enlightenment to me to have come across you folks. I’ll surely miss you.” He half turned, but Brother Jeff stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“I’ve told you all I can think of that you need to know. Let the scriptures be your guide when you have a question, Brother James. Have a safe journey.”
James clapped Brother Jeff on the shoulder and moved away. Across the road, the dog was running around the wagons, and George had the teams hitched up and waiting. James walked swiftly to his horses and mu
le. Although he cherished the knowledge he had gained during their several days’ stop, it would be good to be on the trail again. The sooner he got the Bingham party to Albuquerque, the sooner he could be on his way to Zion.
Chapter 35
After the birth of Robert’s son, James gave his tent to the Fletcher family. His new custom was to bunk down beside one of the fires. Several nights after they parted ways with the Mormon travelers, Robert had pitched the tent near their wagon.
The baby cried at midnight.
James awoke and lay listening to the intimate sounds: the wail of the hungry infant, Hannah waking and rustling around in the tent as she picked up the baby, the sudden cessation of noise, then hungry gulping sounds as the child nuzzled at her breast. His belly tightened.
Rolling over in his bedroll, he decided it wasn’t lust that inspired his unease. He had no eye for a married woman, especially not one nourishing her young babe. It wasn’t the thought of her breast that bothered him. He had seen women nurse their children before. He closed his eyes and tried to get back to sleep, but the feeling persisted. Suddenly he knew what rankled him.
I want children.
His longing deepened and turned into an ache. He had always wanted to be a father, to teach his children what he had been taught through his growing years. Ma had made him a God-fearing man. Pa had taught him practical skills. Dealing with his brothers, both the older and the younger, had helped him learn to get along with others, and that family was the best, the most important group of people he could associate with.
Family. Robert looked forward to the birth of his child. I want that same pleasure.
He had talked a bit with Robert, and admired the man’s enthusiasm for providing a good life for Hannah and their baby. “A good life in a new land,” he had said.
Robert will do that, he told himself. He has the gumption for it.