by Leo Romero
“Nice going, Stone,” I scolded myself for thinking crap like that. I sucked in yet another deep breath and edged forward one step. So far, so good. I took another pigeon step, and I was fully out on the branch. I looked down at my feet. They were bunched together, around a foot of branch either side of them. Beyond that, the ground, a zillion miles away, stared back at me.
I focused on the Fleece. It was beautiful. Gold. Glittering gold just sitting there at the end of the branch, waiting for me. All I had to do was keep my balance. Not fall off and make it to the end. Piece of cake. I once saw a guy walk across the Grand Canyon on a trip wire. If that crazy bastard could do that, then I could do this right? Right?
Luckily there was no wind around. I steeled myself. One step at a time. One step at a time, I kept telling myself, putting one foot directly in front of the other, walking along like a three-year-old.
I made it about a quarter of the way, my arms out to the sides, birds squawking and frogs croaking all around me. My legs trembled; sweat poured down my face. One wrong move, and I’d be a fried egg on the ground below. My heart hammered in my chest; my mind whirled with fear. This was real; it was sobering. It was insane.
“Why the hell am I doing this?” I asked myself as I took another step. I glanced down. Thin slivers of branch were either side of my feet. Soon, the branch would be too thin to walk along. I kept one foot ahead of the other, edging my way there. A burst of adrenaline rushed up to my head, giving me a bout of dizziness. I teetered under the strain. My heart lurched. I threw my arms out and rolled them on the air like windmills. My life flashed before me, a carousel of madness. I’d suddenly forgotten how to breathe. I tottered back and forth, my eyes like saucers, fear gripping my soul in its jagged claws.
One of my feet left the branch, and I was doing some weird dance in time with the croaking frogs, my arms flailing, my airborne foot jigging this way and that. I gasped so hard I croaked alongside my frog brethren.
My back arched, and all the momentum went with it. At the last moment, I shoved all my weight in the opposite direction, throwing my upper body forward. I managed to plant my runaway foot back down on the branch. I flung out my arms and kept them steady, using them like a balancing pole. I closed my eyes and became perfectly still, terror shuddering me to the bone.
Everything went calm. Croaks and caws took over. I was slightly bent over, my arms outstretched, both feet planted on the branch. To say I was relieved would be understating the fact. I was so relieved, I almost collapsed from relief, which would’ve defeated the purpose and sent me plummeting to my doom. Instead, I sucked in a deep, steady breath and eased myself upright. Panic fizzled away from my mind, leaving just a sweaty, blubbery mess in its wake. The bile in my stomach swished around, burning away at me like a corrosive solution.
“Don’t do that again!” I scolded myself through clenched teeth. Man, my throat was as dry as a desert. I tried to swallow but couldn’t. My heart settled into a steady rhythm, and I rolled my eyes toward the Fleece. That damn ram was still smiling. Bastard.
Why was Von Blatt storing it out there for Chrissakes?
I started edging along again, one foot ahead of the other, the rhythm of croaking cheering me on. I now had barely any room for both my feet to be next to one another. I made it about three-quarters there, and I realized the branch would eventually thin out too much to keep my balance.
I’d need to get on my stomach and crawl along.
I groaned to myself. Why me? I squatted down and sat astride the branch, my legs dangling down. I got down on my stomach and gripped that branch for dear life. “Oh man, I can’t believe what I’m doing! What the hell am I doing?” I said to the branch. It didn’t answer.
I began sliding along, my mind in a haze of fear and reckless abandon. Why me? Why me? Jason never had to climb up a frickin’ hundred-foot tree! There I was, crawling along a frickin’ branch like a worm! Just to get the frickin’ Golden Fleece for some goddamn demon. Let the asshole die!
I felt like crying. I stupidly opened my eyes and got a full view of the ground all the way down there, and I actually did start crying. I wanted my mommy, even though she was dead, I didn’t care. I’d done some stupid shit in my time, but what I was doing now had to be the worst.
I crawled along some more, my mind gibbering. I suddenly hated frogs! And toads. And salamanders. In fact, all frickin’ phibbies. They can all rot! Of all creatures great and small, why did God have to make phibbies? What the hell was he thinking? Did he have too much tequila that night?
I looked up. The Fleece was so close. So golden, so glittery. So fleecy. I reached out a trembling hand. Come on! Come on! I begged, my fingers inches from it. I stretched my body, my teeth clenched, my nerves frayed. Come on, baby!
My fingers brushed the Fleece, and a soothing warmth spread through me.
I went to smile when a flash of cyan and canary-yellow stole my attention. Something flew in from nowhere, all feathers and beak. It landed on the branch just ahead of the Fleece, causing my fingers to retract. I flinched in surprise and grabbed hold of the branch like it was my long-lost brother. I stared at the giant toucan-bat with wide eyes.
It opened its monstrous, multicolored beak. “Intruder alert! Intruder alert!” it bellowed.
My eyes bulged. I went to swing a fist at it, but my balance teetered. I threw my hand back in to grab hold of the branch, fear electrifying me.
The feathers on top of the toucan-bat’s head flashed different colors giving the impression of a police siren. “Robbery in progress!” it squawked. “Wooh! Wooh! Intruder alert!”
“Shut your freaking mouth, you damn bird!” I hissed, but it didn’t stop.
“Intruder! Wooh! Intruder!”
Damn alarm systems.
“Intruder!” the toucan-bat continued. I growled. I went to grab it, when my balance shifted, and I almost slipped off the branch. I gripped it again, my heart lurching. I was stuck there while that bird carried on ratting on me.
“Robbery in progress!” in blurted.
“What is going on?” demanded a recognizable voice from behind me. I whipped my head back. Von Blatt was standing at the end of the branch, his bug eyes glaring at me like spotlights. My frog disguise frazzled away.
Von Blatt gasped. “StoneAngel!” he sneered. “I should’ve known.”
He hopped out onto the branch, just as Draxil, now sans frog disguise, came into view. He threw out a claw, but Von Blatt was already on the branch, out of his reach.
Aurora skidded in behind him. “Gabe!”
“Thief! That Fleece is mine!” Von Blatt belched as he got on all fours and made his way toward me, his feet and hands sticking to the wood like Velcro. He scuttled in while Draxil and Aurora watched on helplessly from the main branch. In no time, Von Blatt was almost on me.
I gritted my teeth and turned my attention back to that damn bird-thing. I growled and threw a punch at it, catching it on its side. It let out a distressed squeal before flying away. Yeah, get away from here, Tweetie Pie!
I grabbed a handful of Fleece and pulled it in toward me. The moment I did, something warty and slimy crawled over my back, bringing with it the stench of ponds and slime. Uncontrollable shivers shuddered up and down my spine, and I let out a yelp of disgust.
“Let it go!” Von Blatt demanded, reaching out and grabbing the Fleece, his other claw planted on my head, pressing my face into the branch.
“No!” I sneered back and yanked the Fleece. A brief bout of tug-of-war ensued, with Von Blatt pushing my face into the branch harder. The pressure on my skull increased, and for a moment, I thought it was about to crack.
“Gabe!” I heard Aurora yell again behind me, but it was something at the back of my mind. The croaking frogs continued as Von Blatt tugged at the Fleece and I tugged back.
“I won’t let you steal from me again, StoneAngel!”
“Get your slimy hands off me, loser!” I said out of the side of my mouth. I lifted my free hand, f
ocusing light magic in it. I pushed my hand back behind my head, hoping to get the light in his eyes. I must’ve done the trick because he let out a groan, and his weight was removed from my back. He rolled off the branch in disorientation, slapping his free claw on its side at the last moment, sticking him in place. He didn’t let up on grabbing the Fleece, so as he went, his momentum pulled it even harder. The extra weight pulled me off the branch.
Aurora let out a scream. I fell like a stone, my stomach flying up into my chest. My grip on the Fleece tightened instinctively. There was a jarring, and I came to an abrupt halt. My predicament came into sharp focus like a nightmare. To my bewilderment, I was dangling on the air, gripping the Fleece, while Von Blatt still had hold of it, his free claw stuck to the branch. I gazed around me with an open mouth, the world below like the jaws of a giant shark, waiting to consume me.
It was sobering. Hanging there like a pendulum, my legs swaying on the air. My head swam with vertigo, my vulnerability a stark reality. A groan caused me to whip my head up.
Von Blatt was straining with my weight. “Let go!” he growled.
“Don’t let go!” I shouted back, my heart slamming in my chest.
Von Blatt let out a groan of pain, causing his prosthetic tongue to pop out. I could see his claw slipping away from the branch. We’d both die if he fell. I needed to get back up to the safety of the branch. I threw up an instinctive arm and grabbed hold of the nearest thing, which was Von Blatt’s tongue. It was slick with his saliva, but I managed to get a good grip on it. With a grunt, I pulled on that tongue, trying to haul myself up. There was a click, and the tongue popped out of Von Blatt’s mouth. Von Blatt’s grip on the Fleece finally loosened, and I dropped.
Aurora’s screams rocked the sky.
I plummeted through the air head-first, staring dumbly at that tongue in my grip. The realization of what just happened set in. In a blind panic, I pulled the Fleece into my chest and slung away that saliva-smeared prosthetic tongue.
Trees flashed by, the wind screeching past me. I was dead meat. They’d find pieces of me splattered all over Toad Town. I had to do something fast. I had one chance, one thing that would save me. With gravity working against me, I managed to get my free hand in my pocket. I pulled out the card that was waiting for me. The joker. Lucky I’d been using it as fake ID, or it wouldn’t have been there on its own. I got a quick glimpse of the joker’s inane grin and the giant eyeballs he was juggling as I flipped him bottom edge up.
I let out a wild roar as I reached below me as far as I could and cut the card across the air, praying a portal opened before I whizzed past it. A tear split the air ahead of me like a giant eye. Gray dreariness dominated my vision: concrete and sky.
The tear swallowed me. I was thrown in a different direction, the world flipping on its side and my momentum shoving me from behind. My stomach rolled. I flew through the air, all arms and legs, gripping onto that Fleece for dear life. The rooftop of Dark Suits HQ whizzed by—the last place I was on Earth. Before I had a chance for my mind to even adjust to its new surroundings, I was thrown into the red light emanating from the pentagon-shaped portal waiting on the rooftop.
“Whoa!” I shouted as I hurtled head-first toward it. I winced as I smashed into the portal to be propelled to the next dimension, Tartarus. The world flipped on its side once more. My feet hit rock, my momentum causing me to stagger into Tartarus like a drunken sprinter. I couldn’t bring myself to a halt in time, and I tripped over a gargoyle’s half-crushed head. I stumbled forward and smashed face-first into the ground.
Everything became still, but my mind whirled like a top. I stayed where I was, groaning, my body a temple of agony. The last few moments flashed by in my mind like a nightmare. Did that really just happen?
One minute I was up a tree, the next I was in Tartarus. I thought I was doomed, but somehow, I’d escaped. A laugh burst from my chest, sending dust flying up. Damn frogs. I hoped I never laid eyes on one again. I stared at the thing still clutched in my hand. The joker card. I gave him a kiss and slid him back in my pocket. In my other hand was the Fleece. I got gingerly up to my knees and pulled it to my cheek and savored the feel. It was golden silk. Its warmth spread over my cheek like kisses from my wife, Mia, whenever I got to visit her in Heaven. It was glorious, worth going through all that agony for. I wanted to just stay there forever, rubbing that heavenly item over my skin. I could’ve just sat there and—
“You got it!” A voice grunted as the Fleece was snatched from my grip. “Well done.”
I gave my head a brisk shake, my senses refocusing. Draxil was standing over me, the Fleece in his hands. “Hey! How did you get here?” I asked.
“Draxil punched Von Blatt while I managed to open a portal to the roof of Dark Suits Tower,” Aurora said as she rushed up to me and gave me a hug. “Thank God you’re all right.”
I hugged her back. “But the portal I opened—”
“I closed it before we jumped in here,” Aurora said as she pulled away from me. “Draxil said we couldn’t hang around on Earth. It started thundering.”
My face turned dark. “Yeah. That meant the horsemen were on their way.”
“Which is why we hurried here,” Draxil said. He looked down at the Fleece. “Let us pray this thing works.”
My top lip curled up. “It better. Almost lost my life getting it.”
“Your suffering is for a great cause and will not go unnoticed,” Draxil said before racing over to his pal Lothar, hoping to save his life.
Chapter 9
Draxil spread the Fleece out on the air and slung it down over Lothar’s body. As Lothar was so big, the Fleece barely covered his belly. Draxil took a step back as Aurora and I rushed up next to him. We all gazed down at Lothar in anticipation. The Fleece twinkled with crystal-like splendor, dazzling colors rippling up and down it. A sudden glow emanated from it, and the colors danced on the air in a radiant haze.
“I think it’s working,” I said, fixated by those glorious hues.
Lothar’s jaw twitched. His arm gripping Typhon’s horn spasmed. He smashed the horn down on the ground a couple of times, making Aurora and I flinch. Draxil remained resolute as he kept his stare on his friend. I caught a glimpse of hope flicker in his red irises. I looked back at Lothar. His jaw was grinding as if he was chewing gum. The Fleece continued to glitter and glow with supernatural luster and, to my astonishment, the cuts and gashes on Lothar’s body healed over, closing up like zippers.
Hope rose inside me.
His body tremored, and he finally released his grip on Typhon’s horn.
“Come on, brother!” Draxil urged through clenched teeth. “Awaken!”
On cue, Lothar’s eyelids fluttered. His angled jaw came to rest, and his eyes quivered open. His glazed, black-tinted eyes rolled. “Where am I?” he asked, his voice hoarse.
Draxil crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re back in Heaven.”
Lothar’s eyes fully widened. “Am I? Really?” His voice was hope-filled.
“Unfortunately not, brother,” Draxil said. “You’re actually in the lowest part of Hades. Now get up, we have work to do.”
Lothar snapped his head to the side, Draxil’s voice causing his bleary eyes to focus in. “Draxil?” he boomed. “It can’t be!”
“You think I would give in to Satan’s acolytes?” Draxil growled in return. I swore there was a semblance of a wry grin on his face.
“You were destroyed. Cut into pieces,” Lothar said as he sat up, rubbing his massive head, the broken chains on his wrists rattling. We all gazed up at him.
Draxil gave him a firm nod. “And now I’m back together and as fair as ever.” He pouted his lips, putting his hands up to his cheeks for a brief moment. “A time of high technology, remember?” Draxil added, giving his buddy a friendly pat on his lower back.
Lothar nodded. “Yes, I remember, brother. I’ve waited patiently inside the body of a necromancer for these times to materialize. And yet I still can
not fathom it all.”
A groan to our left made us all turn. Nigella was rising up to her elbows. Her long, white hair was obscuring her face. “Go see to Nigella,” I told Aurora as I reached across Lothar’s mighty frame for the Fleece. The moment I lifted it off his body, it stopped glowing and flickering. It was warm to the touch.
Aurora helped Nigella up to her feet. She stared around with groggy eyes. “Are you all—” Aurora began but was cut off as Nigella started making clucking noises.
I recoiled. Aurora stared at her like she was insane. And then I realized that she was. The aftereffects of a long-term possession. We all watched on in bemusement as Nigella walked and clucked like a chicken, even doing the arm movements. It was bizarre. Aurora met my stare and shrugged. I shrugged back. What else could be said?
Nigella wandered off through the gargoyle rubble, clucking. We all watched her go, none of us saying a word.
“You’re the Dark Bearer’s guardian angel,” Lothar said down to me, diverting our attention away from Nigella. “I saw you through my host. You were the one who brought us here.”
I nodded. “I didn’t have much choice.”
“The Dark Bearer must not be sacrificed, Stone,” Lothar said. “Under any circumstances. Satan must not win.”
“Satan can wait,” said Draxil. “We have another problem.”
“What?” asked Lothar.
“The horsemen.”
Lothar grabbed his forehead. “Oh, not them again.”
Draxil gave him a grim nod. “They’ve been waiting for our return to finish the battle.”
Lothar let out a small groan. “That’s why I’ve been hiding. They found you, didn’t they?”
Draxil nodded. “They’ve sent word to the Archangels. I have a day to surrender to them, or they’ll scorch Earth.”
Lothar huffed. “Typical. So what do we do?”
“We have to unite the team once more,” Draxil told him. “Defeat the horsemen before they destroy everything.”
“How can we do that? We were all separated.”