All The Wrong Reasons

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All The Wrong Reasons Page 2

by JL Paul


  “Cranberry and vodka,” he said with a hint of an accent. “That’s what Marissa said you were drinking.”

  I looked into the soulful brown eyes of Lucas, the lead singer. I smiled, hoping it wasn’t idiotic, and accepted the drink. “Thanks. Um, Marissa, whoever she is, was right.”

  He smiled and I immediately fell in love with his mouth. His teeth were perfectly straight and amazingly white while his eyes crinkled in the corners with the weight of his smile. “I’m Lucas, by the way. Lucas Newton.”

  “Um, Irelyn Colby,” I said and sipped my drink. “You guys are really good.”

  “Thanks. Glad you enjoyed the show.”

  I inched closer, not able to help myself. His grin widened as he planted a palm on the stage right behind me. He inclined his head closer and his beer breath tickled my ear. “It’s sort of stuffy in here – want to go grab some air?”

  “Yeah,” I said a little too quickly. “Sure.”

  He plucked the drink from my hand, set it on the stage, and laced his fingers through mine. He helped me up and led me through a narrow hall and into an alley. The air had a bit of a bite to it making me shiver. He pushed me against the brick building and rubbed my arms, trying to create a little friction. I could have told him that his touch was enough to heat my insides but I was enjoying his hands on my body far more than I should.

  “Better?” he asked with raised brow. Before I could nod, his lips were on mine. I clutched his t-shirt, wrinkling it in my fists, as I returned his kiss. When his tongue traced my bottom lip, I groaned as my knees buckled. He grabbed my hips and pulled me to his body. My hands climbed his chest and laced behind his head. I couldn’t believe this was happening but I didn’t want it to stop. Never had so much passion raced through my body – even when Dustin and I let things get out of hand.

  “Want to take this inside?” he asked as he dragged his lips from mine and trailed them along my jaw. I lifted my neck so he could reach my throat.

  “Yes,” I gasped.

  “If you’re sure,” he mumbled. He edged back and his glossy eyes bored into mine.

  I already missed his touch. “I’m sure.”

  His lips returned to my neck. I could feel his smile on my skin as he steered my body up a set of metal stairs. I held tightly to his shoulders so I wouldn’t fall, clinging to his body as he dug a key out of his jeans pocket to unlock a door.

  I barely registered where we were as he backed me into another room. I fell on a mattress and yanked him on top of me. I felt like an animal that had escaped from a lifelong imprisonment as he resumed his frantic kisses. The heat from his body was scorching and I happily helped him remove my clothes.

  As heated as our kisses had been, I expected the sex to be the same way. But it wasn’t. Lucas slowed his pace and left not one inch of my body unexplored. When he finally took me, every nerve in my body was on edge and aching for him.

  Afterwards, he dropped beside me, his chest heaving. I was having the same struggles with my breath – and with my guilt. What had I done?

  Chapter 2

  Rolling to his side, Lucas traced my lips tenderly with his index finger. I closed my eyes, my traitorous body responding to his touch. I needed to move away and dress and escape. I needed to run home and hide under the blankets of my bed and not come out until my mother forced me. I needed to figure out what I was going to tell Dustin. I needed to figure out what I was going to tell myself.

  “You okay, love?” he asked as he yanked the blanket out from under me to cover both our bodies.

  “Yeah,” I whispered. “Fine.”

  Inching closer, he rested his head next to mine. He fumbled for my hand, lacing our fingers on top of my stomach. “Stay with me tonight. I’ll drive you home in the morning.”

  “I can’t…I shouldn’t,” I tried to object.

  He dragged his lips across the side of my neck and I shuddered. “Stay, Irelyn. You know you want to.”

  I did. I wanted to stay more than anything else at that moment. And if I did, I could prolong this amazingly ridiculous situation in which I’d suddenly plunged. Why not prolong the agony? Or rather, the pleasure. No need to have to face reality until the ugly rays of day smacked me in the face.

  “Um, do you live here?” I asked stupidly.

  When he chuckled, his breath blew my hair and tickled my ear. “No. This is Spencer’s place. I have a key. But don’t worry – this is the spare room.”

  My eyes popped open and I nearly bolted upright. “Is he here? Is he coming home?”

  Laughing, he released my hand to trail his fingers up my body and to my face. He stroked my cheek. “Spencer will crash at my place tonight.”

  “Um, who’s Spencer?”

  “The other guitarist who happens to be my cousin. Collin, the drummer, is my brother.” He propped his head with his hand, smiling at me. I melted. “My twin. Fraternal.”

  “Oh, that’s um cool.” I cursed my utterly stupid, idiotic mouth. My first one-night stand and the only pillow talk I could come up with is ‘that’s cool’?

  “Where do you live? So I know where to take you in the morning,” he asked.

  “Dunne-Browling. The dorms.”

  “Ah, a college student,” he said as he dropped his head next to mine. “How come I haven’t seen you at Rusty’s before?”

  “First time,” I said. My head grew groggy and my eyelids heavy. The tender caress of his fingers on my skin lulled me into a drowsy state.

  “Sleep, love,” he whispered as he kissed the skin under my ear.

  ***

  I came to before the sun and eased out of Lucas’s grasp. Snorting in his sleep, he rolled to his back. I froze, afraid he’d wake, but he didn’t.

  I slipped off the bed to gather my clothes. I hurriedly dressed, grabbed my bag, and jumped as something thumped to the floor. I watched Lucas carefully but he didn’t budge. Once I was sure he was still out, I tiptoed out of the room and stumbled through the dark apartment until I found the front door.

  I pounded down the metal stairs to flee through the alley, the cool, early morning air nipping at my arms. As I reached the sidewalk, I rifled through my bag for my phone. Panic seized me when I couldn’t find it and I glanced toward the alley.

  “It must have fallen out of my bag,” I groaned. I rubbed my forehead as I looked left and right. Finding a corner diner, I crossed the street. I went inside, ordered a coffee, and asked for a public phone. The waitress directed me to the hall where a payphone was perched between the bathrooms. I called Bailey’s cell hoping she was in the dorm and not with a guy.

  “Yeah, what?” she said sleepily.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. “Bailey, can you come get me? I don’t think I have enough cash for a cab.”

  “Irelyn?” she whispered. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

  “No, I’m fine, really. I just, I’m having coffee at the diner near the bar. Can you come get me?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” she said and hung up.

  I returned to the counter and sipped my coffee, praying Lucas wouldn’t wake up only to find me gone. I didn’t want him to come looking for me. I didn’t want to explain that I didn’t do these sorts of things. I didn’t want to explain that I had a boyfriend. I didn’t want to explain that my grandparents definitely would not approve.

  Mostly, I didn’t want him to talk me into going back to the apartment with him.

  Bailey found me fifteen minutes later. I paid my bill and hurried her out of the diner. Once we were buckled safely in her car and on the road, I sank into the seat. “Thank you.”

  “What happened?” she demanded. “I saw you leave with Lucas but I never expected you to stay the night with him. I tried to call your cell but you didn’t answer. His brother told me that Lucas thought you were cute and just wanted to talk to you.”

  “Bailey,” I said, interrupting her. “He didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to do,” I admitted with blazing cheeks. “He
gave me the chance to back out.”

  Bailey grinned as her hands relaxed on the wheel. “Well, then, how was it?”

  “Amazing,” I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut. I rested my head against the cool window and forced away images of Lucas and me writhing on the bed.

  “What?” she asked. “What’s the problem?”

  “I have a boyfriend, remember? What the hell am I supposed to tell him?”

  “Nothing,” she snorted. “Not a damn thing. Do you think he’s being faithful to you?”

  “Yes,” I said without hesitation. “He loves me. And I love him.”

  “Exactly,” she said. “You love him and you slept with someone else.”

  “Bailey, I don’t want to talk about it right now,” I pleaded. “I just want to get to the dorms and get some sleep. I have to go home in the morning. Well, this morning.”

  “Okay, Irelyn,” she said. “And we’ll keep this between us. But, um, Morgan kind of figured out what you were up to, also.”

  “Just you two know, right?” I asked. She nodded and I closed my eyes, minutely relieved. The next problem was facing my mother and hiding my guilt. I’d have to distract her somehow.

  A slow smile spread across my lips as my eyes eased open. I turned fully toward Bailey.

  She lifted a brow. “What?”

  “How would you and Morgan like to spend the weekend at my house?”

  ***

  “Oh, this is going to be so fun,” my mother gushed as I pushed Bailey and Morgan into the house. “I hope you girls brought something nice to wear – we have to have dinner with my parents at the country club tonight but after that – it’s party time!”

  I groaned as I dropped my bag on the living room floor and surveyed my roommates. Amusement sparkled in Bailey’s eyes as a tiny smirk lurked in the corners of her mouth. She nodded at my mother and produced a slinky red dress from her bag.

  “Will this do, Ms. Colby?”

  Mom’s eyes brightened as she eyed the garment. “Oh, it’s perfect! I wish my Irelyn would wear dresses like that and show off her figure.”

  “Don’t start, Mom,” I said.

  “At what country club will we be dining?” Morgan asked with a concise, polite tone. Obviously, she’d paid more attention to her parents’ lessons on manners than Bailey.

  “Whispering Winds,” Mom said and rolled her eyes. “It’s nothing but a fancy place for stuffy people to meet and brag about how much money they have. But, my parents insist on us having dinner with them every weekend. They like to keep up with what’s going on with Irelyn and Tommy.”

  “Where is Tommy?” I asked as I peered around the living room.

  Mom’s eyes sparkled as she clapped her hands in delight. “Piano lessons! Oh, Irelyn, his music teacher called and told me that he is an absolute genius on the piano! We arranged for lessons immediately and he loves it!”

  I beamed, heart pumping happily. I hoped this new development would bring a little joy to Tommy’s life and give him something to concentrate on besides his fastidious room and his obsession over cartoons. “When will he be home? I want him to meet my friends.”

  “Not for another hour or so,” she said. “Why don’t you show the girls your room?”

  ***

  Bailey attracted quite a bit of male attention – both young and old – as we followed my mother through the club’s dining room to the table where my grandparents were already seated. Her red dress clung to her hips and hung above her knee while revealing enough cleavage to cause eyes to linger.

  Tommy had taken an instant liking to her and clutched her hand, much to her amusement. I was a little concerned that her crass attitude would frighten him but her eyes gentled so uncharacteristically when she shook his hand, it made my heart warm.

  Morgan walked beside me looking lovely in a light green dress with a modest neckline and hem. Her hair was held back with clips that matched her dress and teardrop diamond earrings sparkled in her lobes.

  I plodded along in one of the many dresses my grandmother sent me – dresses appropriate for a young lady to wear. It was blue and expensive and not very flattering but I wore it anyway just to please my grandparents.

  As I’d watched my friends dress, I had wished for something a little more flashy and trendy – something that would make people notice me as Irelyn and not the Colby’s granddaughter. But then, that would be too much like my mother and I couldn’t lose sight of my ambition to not turn out like her.

  I introduced my friends to my grandparents and it was immediately obvious which one they preferred. They were polite enough to Bailey – especially when she explained her father owned a chain of high-priced department stores in the US and overseas and had an entire wing at Dunne-Browling named after them. A twinge of pity struck my heart for my poor grandfather – he only had a section of the library named after him.

  Cocktails were being served but Bailey refrained from ordering anything alcoholic, much to my relief. As the conversation around the table turned to college life, my grandmother smiled as she nodded over my shoulder. When I turned, I found a grinning Dustin rolling on the balls of his feet. My heart fell and gasped as it wondered what to do. I gaped at him, hoping he couldn’t see my indiscretion in my eyes.

  Bailey kicked my shin, effectively shaking me out of my stupor. I returned Dustin’s smile as I got to my feet to hug him and kiss his cheek. My grandparents were watching and they simply abhorred displays of affection in public.

  “I, um, thought you weren’t coming home this weekend?” I asked.

  He cupped my cheek as his lips turned in the corners. “I couldn’t stay away from you for that long.”

  My guilty heart cursed me and decided to turn on the waterworks. Tears prickled behind my eyes but I bit the inside of my cheek to keep them at bay. “That’s wonderful,” I managed to utter and sound nearly sincere. “My friends are here. Um, I’d like you to meet them.”

  I introduced him to Bailey and Morgan as Morgan scooted over to allow Dustin the chair next to me. He held my hand under the table, politely answering my grandparents’ questions: No, his parents were not dining at the club tonight – they had theater tickets. Yes, classes were going well and he was enjoying college in Chicago.

  I studied his profile as he spoke, turning his charming smile on my grandmother. I’d met him my sophomore year of high school after my grandparents, who had never shown any interest in me before, discovered that I actually had a brain and it was quite intelligent. They immediately enrolled me at St. Catherine’s, a pristine and exclusive private school.

  My mother, being stubborn and full of pride, didn’t have the money the other students’ parents did. My mother refused to accept any money from my grandparents – although she would not turn down their offer of a better education for me. Other than that, she chose to work and earn her own way. I was quite proud of that. But my peers frowned at it and looked down their surgically enhanced noses at me.

  I definitely hadn’t fit in at all.

  I’d studied and kept to myself until one cold, icy day, I fell in the parking lot, dumping the entire contents of my backpack. Dustin appeared and instead of laughing, he helped me collect my belongings then eased me off the ground. From that moment on, I had one friend at St. Catherine’s. It wasn’t until midway through our junior year that he admitted his feelings and we started dating. My grandmother was ecstatic and my grandfather approved. Dustin’s father was a successful attorney with a clean reputation. Dustin would make a wonderful addition to our family.

  Mom liked Dustin, too, but she wasn’t ‘in love’ with him like my grandparents. As I listened to him speak, my thoughts floated away to Lucas and I wondered what Mom would think of him…

  “Irelyn?” Dustin asked.

  “Huh?” I said as heat flooded my cheeks. “I’m sorry, I was…um…thinking about an assignment.”

  He smiled gently as he squeezed my hand. “It’s Saturday night – time to relax and not think about sch
ool. I ordered the chicken for you, is that okay?”

  “It’s fine,” I said, banishing all thoughts of Lucas away. How dare I let him in my head while I was sitting next to my wonderful boyfriend! What was wrong with me?

  After dinner, the five piece band began to play softly and Grandfather led Grandmother out to the dance floor. I stifled a groan. Dustin would be expected to dance with me.

  “Tommy, do you dance?” Bailey asked.

  Tommy considered her, wide-eyed, and shook his red head. “I don’t know how.”

  “I can show you,” she said as she gently coaxed him to the dance floor. My mother beamed.

  “Come, sweetheart,” Dustin said as he took my hand.

  He wrapped his arms around me properly, holding me appropriately as he swayed his body in time to the music. His touch was warm and familiar and … boring. I longed for him to break the rules – to tug me closer while his breath warmed my neck and shoulder. I wanted him to whisper in my ear how much my closeness affected him.

  He didn’t. He wouldn’t. Dustin Summerlin always abided by the rules.

  “Sorry I didn’t let you know I’d be here,” he said as his eyes swept my face. “I wanted to surprise you.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I like surprises.”

  “I know you do,” he said with an adorable smirk. “That’s why I booked us a room at that little bed and breakfast you said you always wanted to visit.”

  My eyes grew as a little color touched my cheeks. “Dustin, my friends are staying at my house tonight,” I said, glancing at my grandparents to make sure they couldn’t hear our conversation.

  “I know,” he frowned. “Sort of blows the whole surprise, huh?” I nodded apologetically. He kissed my cheek. “I’ll reschedule, don’t worry.” He eased back to look at me, his eyes dark and his brow low. “Are you feeling all right? You’ve been awfully quiet tonight.”

  I forced a smile. “I told you, I’ve been thinking about an assignment that is due next week. I haven’t even started on it yet.”

 

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