All The Wrong Reasons

by JL Paul

  He spun and rushed back to me. He took my hands in his, bending to my level. “Listen to me, Irelyn, you aren’t the only one in this mess – I am, too. And just like the pregnancy scare, I’m not going to leave you high and dry. I’ll help you with all of this – do whatever I can. I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore. And I want you back in my life.”

  “I can’t be in your life, Lucas,” I said. My heart thumped angrily but I plunged ahead. “I can’t. I had to make a choice and I did.”

  “Is this the deal about finding yourself? Trying to figure out who to be like?” he asked, a touch of rage in his beautiful eyes. “About not being like your mother? Because your mom knew how to live. Maybe she didn’t realize her dreams but she sure as hell tried. You say you don’t want to be her but you’re drifting toward being just like your grandparents. Are you going to be happy married to Dustin or someone like him? Being a wife and a mother in some suburb? Carting kids to soccer practice while you try to find time to write that book you always wanted? Or would you be happier getting out there and trying to make your dream come true? This isn’t about us, Irelyn and it’s not about you and Dustin. It’s just about you. You need to figure out what you want. You don’t have to be your mother and you don’t have to be your grandparents. Just be you.”

  His words penetrated my ears and the thick, protective fog in my brain. He was right – so right- but where did Tommy fit in? “Luke…”

  He cupped my cheek as his eyes softened. “No, Irelyn, please listen to me. I …”

  A calamity in the living room interrupted him and he dropped his hand from my face. Still keeping a firm hold on my other hand, he squeezed it as he took a tentative step toward the door. But the door flew open and Dustin appeared, his handsome face beet red in rage.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” he demanded.

  Chapter 20

  Dustin barged into the room, his handsome features distorted by anger. I was shocked- I’d never seen such emotion on his face before.

  “Irelyn, what the hell are you doing here?” he demanded. He glared at Lucas’s hand holding mine and his shoulders went taut.

  “It’s Spencer’s birthday,” I defended. “What are you doing here?”

  “Why are you hanging around this scum?” he said. His burning eyes remained on Lucas as he inched closer.

  I sensed Lucas tense and I just knew things were going to sour. I dropped Lucas’s hand and placed mine on his chest while I reached out to Dustin. “Hang on,” I started.

  Dustin grabbed my wrist, yanking me out of the room. “We need to talk.”

  “Let go of me, Dustin,” I shouted as I tried to wrench free. I glanced over my shoulder at Lucas. His beautiful eyes were wide and full of surprise.

  “Let her go,” Lucas ordered as he followed us, shaking out of his stupor.

  Dustin pushed through the surprised crowd and ripped the door open, still dragging me behind him. I struggled to free my hand but his grip was so tight it nearly stopped blood flow.

  Just as he stepped out on to the landing, Lucas reached us and took my arm. “I said, let her go,” he demanded through clenched teeth. His blazing eyes made my heart shiver in alarm. He gently tugged me closer.

  But Dustin would have none of it. “She doesn’t belong here with you. Release her arm – I’m taking her home.”

  “Both of you let me go now!” I shouted, startling them as if they’d forgotten I was there. Lucas relinquished his hold as his eyes softened. I tried to smile at him but I couldn’t muster the necessary muscles. I sucked in a breath and turned to Dustin. “Let go of my hand,” I requested in a quiet voice. He did.

  They both stared each other down as though they were junk yard dog and intruder. I backed up, wondering how to diffuse the situation. Something caught the corner of my eye and I spotted Morgan peeking through the blinds. I wanted to call her out to help me but I knew it was time that I settled this – on my own. Let the chips fall where they may.

  “She’ll never settle down with the likes of you,” Dustin spit, his handsome face curled up in a nasty sneer.

  “And you’re so much better? The one her grandparents bought?” Lucas shot back.

  “Stop,” I whispered desperately. “Just stop!”

  It was like I wasn’t there at all. The tears streaming from my face had no effect on any of us.

  “Irelyn, let’s go,” Dustin said, his voice quivering. “If your grandfather finds out you’re here…”

  “I don’t care,” I said. I paused as realization set in. “You know about that?”

  “She’s an adult and if she wants to be at her friend’s birthday party, then she has every right,” Lucas said in a calm voice, speaking over me, but I could see the tension in his shoulders and the tight fists at his sides.

  “This is exactly why her grandfather wants her with me,” Dustin said, narrowing his eyes at Lucas. “Her grandfather only wants to protect her - keep her from turning into her mother.”

  “What’s wrong with my mother?” I demanded.

  Dustin rolled his eyes, infuriating me. I pulled up to my full height, ready to fight if I had to. “Sweetheart, you know as well as I do that you don’t want to end up like her. You’ve said so many times.”

  “Maybe I was wrong,” I whispered.

  Dustin’s eyes swelled to the size of watermelons as his jaw fell. “You…” he said as he shook a finger at me. “You want to be like her? You want to be … a whore?”

  “She is not a whore. And neither am I,” I defended though deep inside I wondered if he was right. “Right?”

  A brisk wind caressed our cheeks as it filled the silence that had descended on us. I ducked my head, too ashamed to look at either one of them.

  “Irelyn,” Lucas whispered, breaking the stillness. “Love, you’re not a whore.” He reached for me but Dustin stepped between us, his eyes spitting daggers.

  “What would you know about it?” Dustin said, his voice high and tight. “You don’t know a damn thing about her. You’re just what she uses to get her mother’s influence out of her system,” Dustin screamed. I paled. Did he know what I’d done? Oh, who the hell cared? “That’s the only reason why she hangs out at that bar and with people like you.”

  “Dustin,” I tried to say.

  “What the hell do you know about her?” Lucas answered. “What the hell do you care? You see her as a trophy and not the person she is.”

  Lucas’s eyes darted to me quickly then focused on Dustin. I gripped the rail, the metal instantly freezing my fingers.

  “I know more about her than you could ever imagine,” Lucas continued taking a precarious step toward Dustin. “Maybe if you would have taken the time to really talk to her – get to really know her- none of us would be here right now.”

  Dustin’s cheeks flushed and the muscles in his jaw twitched. As he drew closer to Lucas, my body shook as if someone were shaking a new bottle of ketchup.

  “Have you been messing around with my girlfriend? Huh?” He stepped closer so they were nearly toe-to-toe. Another inch and they’d be kissing. “Did you…”

  “Did I what?” Lucas asked as a sarcastic smirk crossed his lips. “Did I kiss her? Did I take her home with me? Did I have sex with her?”

  “Lucas,” I pleaded, but he paid me no mind. My heartbeat tripled and I held a hand over my chest, hoping to still it. I hated the way he spoke. It killed me.

  “Did you?” Dustin asked with a raised brow.

  Lucas slowly folded his arms across his chest as his smirk grew. “Ask her.”

  “I’m asking you,” Dustin said, his face totally devoid of color except for two bright red splotches on his cheeks. He leaned into Lucas’s face. “Did you sleep with my girlfriend? Did you turn my sweet Irelyn into some kind of tramp? Is that why she was so eager to ditch me?”

  Lucas grinned knowingly, his beautiful eyes dark and ugly with anger. I didn’t want to hear his answer yet at the same time, I did. I wanted to know what he�
��d say. Would he protect me or would he throw me out to sea to see if I’d sink or swim? Either way, I knew this moment would be the defining moment. This moment would end one relationship – maybe both. No matter what happened, no one would win.

  When I caught the twitch of Dustin’s wrists, I pushed away from the rail. He swung and connected with Lucas’s jaw. Lucas stumbled, throwing a hand back to brace himself. He shook his head and a hateful smile took over his face.

  “Stop!” I shouted.

  Lucas recovered and aimed a fist at Dustin’s eye. Dustin was expecting retaliation but not the force of Lucas’s swing. He fell to the metal platform. Lucas bent and grabbed the lapel of his jacket, yanking him to his feet. Shaking him off, Dustin charged. Lucas pushed him away, causing Dustin to bump the rail.

  “I will hurt you and I don’t really want to,” Lucas growled. “You better stop now while you can.”

  Dustin fingered his eye gingerly as his lips fell to a furious frown. “What did you do to her? What did you say to make her sleep with you? Because you did, didn’t you? You slept with my girlfriend.”

  “I said to ask her,” Lucas repeated, his voice low.

  “She has a promising life ahead of her,” Dustin said as he took a step toward Lucas. “You’ll only ruin it. You’ll take everything away from her. Leave her alone. Stay away from her.”

  Lucas ground his teeth and clenched his fists. “Is that what you tell all your frat buddies? That you’ll give her a wonderful life? Did you ever stop to think that maybe she’s something special and that’s why she has a promising life in front of her? That it has nothing to do with you?”

  “Knock it off,” I shouted again, bullying my way between them. I couldn’t stand to hear the way they were talking about me. I hated that they were fighting because of me. I was the bad guy here – not either of them.

  “Irelyn, stay out of this,” Dustin said. He swept me forcefully back and the heel of my shoe stuck in the grate of the landing. I wind-milled my arms in a desperate attempt to keep my balance but my foot slipped out of the shoe and I went down.

  I heard Lucas call my name but it sounded as if I was underwater as the world flipped and turned. My head bounced off the steps like a basketball and I attempted to protect my neck with my arms. The force of my rolling and thumping body knocked my arms away and banged them against the rail and the stairs.

  I landed with a final thud to the snow packed concrete at the foot of the stairway. Oxygen whooshed out of my lungs as my back whacked the ground and I gasped desperately for air. The sky above me spun and I squeezed my eyes shut to keep from vomiting.

  “Irelyn!” Lucas shouted as he dropped next to me.

  “Get away from her,” Dustin ordered as he grabbed my hand.

  I sucked frantically as my lungs cried for air. Moisture collected in my eyes and tears fell down my cheeks. Finally, I managed to get oxygen and I wheezed in relief.

  “Irelyn, darling,” Collin gasped from somewhere in the distance as thudding footsteps thundered around me. “Spence, call an ambulance!”

  “Both of you get the hell away from her,” I heard Bailey order; her voice more deadly than I’d ever heard it. “Now! And I mean it.”

  The clatter of feet shuffling away scared me. “No. Don’t.”

  “I’m right here,” Collin said near my ear. He slipped a couple fingers in my curled hand. “Squeeze, darling, if you can.”

  His voice was soft and soothing and I loved that he was there by my side. I forced my brain to focus on whatever muscles I needed to utilize to follow his order. I managed a weak squeeze and the smile in his voice was obvious.

  “Good,” he said. He returned the squeeze as a tiny sob rattled my chest. I wanted to open my eyes and look in his – they were so much like Lucas’s.

  “Irelyn,” Morgan whispered tearfully. “I’m here. Do you want me to call your mother?”

  “No. Not. Yet.” I managed to mutter. I opened my eyes and Collin’s anxious face blurred and fluttered and spun. My stomach rolled as bile filled my throat. “Sick.”

  “Breathe slowly,” Collin coaxed. “We can’t move you, honey, and you don’t want to choke. Concentrate on breathing.”

  I wanted to nod but I couldn’t. My head was one big boulder being attacked by jackhammers. I did as he asked, my ears straining to clear. “Morg. Stay.”

  “I’m staying right here with you,” Morgan assured me. “Where does it hurt?”

  I focused on the location of the various aches and pains in my body. My head pounded and every bone screamed in protest. “Every. Where.”

  “Hang on, darling,” Collin cooed. His hand – or perhaps Morgan’s – caressed my forehead.

  “Irelyn, love,” I heard Lucas’s weak voice call. My heart longed for him.

  “Don’t talk to her!” Dustin screamed. I winced and Collin squeezed my hand again. “This is all your fault.”

  “Shut up!” Bailey yelled. “Both of you! You’ll only upset her. Think of her and not yourselves.”

  Awareness seeped in and I suddenly realized that I was lying in snow wearing a thin dress. A shiver encompassed my body, aggravating my pain. “Cold.”

  “Okay, hang on,” Collin said. “Tori, grab a blanket, please.”

  I wondered where Lucas and Dustin were and if they were still fighting behind Bailey’s back. I couldn’t hear well – someone must have shoved cotton or snow or something in my ears. “Luke. Dustin.”

  “They’re still here,” Morgan said tearfully. “They’re with Bailey.”

  “Fighting.”

  “No, they’re not fighting anymore,” Collin said. The comforting hand continued to gently push the hair off my forehead. “They stopped. They’re both very worried about you.”

  “I’m. Okay.”

  Collin chuckled and Morgan barked out a teary laugh. “We know,” Collin said. “Ah, thanks, Tori.” I peeked through cracked lids in time to see a blanket falling over me. My stomach turned again and I closed my eyes. “Better?”

  “Yes.” A fresh wave of tears arrived and I just wanted Lucas. But I didn’t want Dustin hurt more than he already was. I released a painful breath. “Lucas. Dustin.”

  “What, darling?” Collin asked. “Do you want them here by you?”

  I nodded, whimpering in pain. “For a…minute.”

  “Luke and Dustin,” Collin called in a defeated voice. “Irelyn wants to see you both.”

  “Don’t say a thing to upset her,” Bailey threatened.

  I sensed Lucas on my left and felt Dustin take my right hand. “Irelyn, sweetheart?” Dustin said.

  “We’re both here, love,” Lucas said as he caressed my cheek. “Hold on and we’ll get you fixed up.”

  The despair and panic in both their voices fed my guilt. “Sorry,” I managed to whisper. “So. Sorry.” My body continued to shiver and shake, aggravating pain everywhere.

  “Don’t worry about anything right now,” Dustin said. “We’ll work this all out once you’re better.”

  Lucas continued to stroke my cheek and I wanted desperately to look at him. I tried to open my eyes but the nausea returned. I flinched. “Gonna. Puke.”

  “Do like Collin said, love,” Lucas coached. “Breathe slowly. Concentrate on something else. We can’t move you. We can’t roll you to your side.”

  The wail of a siren penetrated the blockage in my ears and I heard Morgan heave a relieved sigh. The wailing grew louder. Tires crunched on the snow and the heat from a vehicle warmed my face.

  “Back up, please,” a strange voice ordered. I felt Dustin and Lucas move away from me and the tears in my eyes increased. “Hi, miss. I’m Paula. Can you tell me what hurts?”

  “Head. Everything.”

  She chuckled softly as her gentle hands lifted the blanket to examine my body. Another set of hands eased a neck brace around my neck. “I’m Travis. Can you please open your eyes?”

  I did and my pupils were immediately assaulted with a beam of light. My stomach cle
nched and I irked a few times.

  “Roll her, Paula,” Travis ordered. “She’s going to vomit.”

  They got me to my side in time for me to heave everything I’d eaten in the past few hours all over the snow. I coughed and spit and shivered.

  “Are you done?” Paula asked as she pushed my hair off my face.

  “Think so,” I said.

  “We’re going to put you on a board now,” Travis said. They eased me onto a dry surface and even though they were gentle, my body screeched. My chest rose and fell rapidly as I tried to fight the pain.

  “Easy, honey,” Paula said. “I know it hurts.”

  “Oh my God,” I heard Morgan gasp. “There’s blood in the snow!”

  Panic crept up my throat and my eyes burst open. Paula smiled at me as she and Travis lifted me to a gurney. “You have a head laceration – its fine.”

  “Has she been drinking tonight?” Travis asked.

  “Um, I don’t think so,” Collin said. “Luke – did Irelyn drink anything alcoholic?”

  My heart stilled as Lucas’s trembling voice filled my ears. “No, I didn’t see her drinking anything. Better ask Bailey.”

  “Just soda,” Bailey said.

  “Would you like someone to ride with you?” Paula asked.

  I stretched out an arm and winced as pain radiated up my shoulder. “Morg. Bailey.”

  “Only one person, honey,” Travis said as they shoved me in the ambulance.

  “Go, Morgan,” Collin said. “Bailey, Spencer, and I will follow in my car.”

  “Don’t,” I said, swallowing. “Don’t leave….Luke and….Dustin…alone.”

  “They’ll have to deal,” Morgan said in a hard voice. “It’s their fault you’re in this ambulance.”

  I shook my head making my stomach roll again. I closed my eyes. “No. Accident.”

  “I know it was an accident,” Morgan said as the ambulance sped away, sirens once again causing a ruckus in the night. “But if they hadn’t been fighting, you wouldn’t have fallen.”

  Fatigue flooded me and I wanted to sleep.