by Mia Ford
I walked towards the front of the restaurant and found their small booth as Ginger stared at me with wide eyes. I wasted no time in scooting into the booth beside a shocked Elena. Her face was pained as she looked at me and I wanted to know what the fuck made her look this way. She was okay and recovered from the accident so what else was wrong? Did she need anything?
My voice came out hushed and angry instead of the compassion that was filling my heart. Elena looked around the restaurant, and I saw the paranoia in her face, cursing silently. I didn’t give a fuck who saw us here, and I reached for her hand under the table as she said something about feeling better and not being in school anymore. The heat between us burned as it climbed over my skin and my cock hardened. Fuck if I didn’t want her but I pushed that away and told her how much I missed her. I sounded so angry.
She flushed as I held onto her and I could see that my touch was affecting her. God, I was throbbing now, and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and just hold her. I wanted to rip her away from this table and bring her home to my bed, where we could talk all of this out.
“I’m fine.” That was all that Elena said even though I could tell she was feeling so much more. When she pulled her hand away, I felt lost inside. I reminded her of our conversation at my house that last night as she froze and closed her eyes.
Fuck this. Elena wasn’t hearing me, and I didn’t want to be this close to her if I couldn’t have Elena in my arms. I slid out of the booth and walked towards the bathroom where I could release the demons and focus on my night. Fuck, I was so charged up with now, and I closed the door to a stall hard, locking it before I walked towards the toilet. I dropped my pants and took myself into my hand, stroking hard as I replayed the feel of her hand in mine.
Nobody felt as good as Elena, not ever. I didn’t know what was wrong with her, but I wanted to break through the walls she had built around her. I aimed for the toilet as best I could when I came, taking a deep breath. I cleaned up the mess and looked around the stall before I left to wash my hands. I was going to return to my table and get back to the people in my life that wanted me there. My sister would never treat me like this, and I was going to get to know the new man in her life. She didn’t make that choice too often, and he might be around to stay.
Hell, maybe I’d give Olivia what she wanted. She clearly wanted to fuck me and why not? Elena didn’t want me.
I slid back into the booth when I got to the table, and my sister gave me a long, curious look. I knew that she’d be asking what the hell that was about later but for now, I just smiled. I had another beer, and let Olivia slide her hand all the way up my thigh, so she was touching my cock. It wasn’t hard for her, but she never needed to know that. We stayed for another half hour or so until the four of us left. I glanced at Elena’s table, seeing Ginger’s stern face and Elena’s pain as Olivia reached for my arm. I let her take it and led her out of the door.
If it hurt so much, why did Elena let me leave with her? I wanted to tell her that I hadn’t touched a woman since her, too worried about Elena to try and move on. Elena could have me in a heartbeat, but if she was going to push me away, I wasn’t going to wait for her. I let Olivia drive me home since she drank a lot less than I did and my sister had her own plans. She parked where I directed her, and I knew that she was here to stay since she’d driven with Keith and Marie. I looked at her, making myself focus on her pale blonde hair and soft blue eyes. She was a beautiful woman, and any man would be lucky to have her. “Come on in,” I told her as I walked towards the front door of the condo, unlocking the door. I had cleaned up every trace of Elena here, and it was my place again.
“I love your apartment,” Olivia told me as I set my keys on the counter.
“It’s a condo but thanks. It’s all mine.” I turned to look at her as I let my eyes slide down her body, willing myself to want her. She had a slim body, skinnier than Elena, but there were enough curves to have a good time with. She was looking at me the way some of the girls in class did, full of longing and desire. Girls like this were too easy, and I stepped forward slowly to start this.
Her eyes closed as I leaned in to kiss her, longing for it to be Elena. Her lips were soft and responsive, and I kissed her harder. Olivia wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her body against mine as her tongue slid into my mouth.
I hadn’t had sex for a month, and my body was ready. My heart wasn’t, but I pushed all those thoughts away as I gripped her hips and slid my hands around to cup her ass. We made our way to the couch, and I excused myself to get a condom from the bedroom since I wasn’t ready to erase my memories there. There were too many good ones that didn’t involve casual sex for me. I looked down at the unbuttoned shirt and shook my head as I hurried back to the couch.
I watched Olivia sleep as I stood up and went to toss away the condom. The sex was decent, but it was just a release for me. She was the one that was clawing me, screaming my name, and coming so hard that I saw her eyes roll back into her head. I missed Elena even more as I dropped into the recliner once I was done, turning on the television. I would usually carry her back to my bed for a chance at round two tomorrow if I remembered how to treat a woman. Then I remembered that before Elena, I just left or sent them home. I looked at Olivia, knowing that she would be doing that in the morning with no more sex. I wasn’t feeling it anymore.
Marie called the next morning when I was alone. She asked what happened with Olivia and I told her, wincing when she cursed me out for sleeping with her boyfriend’s sister without any intention of seeing her again. “He brought her along as a set-up, Marie. Sometimes those don’t last more than a night. I was careful and treated her like a person, so Olivia will be just fine. She’ll have another guy within the week.”
“Jesus. I like Keith, and I hope that he’s not pissed. What else happened last night? Why were you away from the table so long?” Marie demanded as I sighed.
“Elena was there with her best friend. I had to talk to her.”
“I guess that didn’t go well. Did you rebound fuck Olivia? God, Liam. What if this gets serious and she’s in my wedding right alongside you? Do you know how awkward that will be?” Marie asked me as I laughed.
“You’ve known him for a month. Slow down.” I told her as I sipped my coffee. “She wasn’t receptive to me. I got that she was feeling better and that was about it.”
“Did she look better?” Marie asked as I sighed.
“Elena looked beautiful but there was something about her…stress or sadness or something. I can’t wrap my mind around it.” I replied as I sat down.
“She was in a bad accident. Those last a lot longer than recovery when you’re fighting with insurance companies and trying to deal with medical bills and replacing your car.” Marie was matter-of-fact when she spoke, reminding me of the time that she handled Mom’s accident a few years back. “I hope that she’s not alone.”
“Ginger wouldn’t do that to her,” I told her, certain that Elena was living there now. Ginger told me at the studio that she was going to try and talk Elena into the idea and I agreed with her. She needed someone, and she’d pushed me away.
“Come at four for dinner. Keith is working, so it’s just us. Thank fuck. I don’t want to discuss last night for a long time,” Marie told me as I chuckled, agreeing to be there. Marie was the constant in my life, and I wouldn’t know what to do without her.
CHAPTER 19
Elena
I made it through the next month with some more clients, keeping myself busy so I wouldn’t think about things. They gave me money for my car, enough for a down payment when I was ready to get something else. For now, I was at the apartment a lot, and Ginger took me everywhere. I borrowed her car a couple of times to go to the store when she was lazy, and it brought back the night of the accident. I knew that I had to make myself drive and trust in things again. That was an accident and nothing more. I was fine, and more importantly, the baby was growing like crazy inside of me. I knew
from the appointments that everything was on course and Ginger squealed when she found out that we’d know what it was in about a month.
I knew that I would start showing soon. I had enough curves that the bump wasn’t noticeable yet, but I worried about when it was. Ginger knew about it, obviously and I’d confessed to my parents once I told Ginger that I wanted to keep the baby.
It was everything that I thought it would be. They were disappointed and figured I was making a mistake. How was I supposed to raise a baby on my own and try to finish school? It was impossible to them, but I knew that I could make it work. I was working steadily for clients, and Ginger charged me nothing than some money for the bills in rent, so I was putting money away. There was a third room here that would be great for a baby at first, at least until I moved into something of my own. I needed Ginger right now, and she told me that I wasn’t going anywhere.
I thought about Liam a lot once I decided to keep the baby. I wondered how he was doing with the blonde girl and if he was in love. I knew that I was when I walked away from him and that killed me sometimes. I just didn’t want him to be with me out of obligation. I wasn’t doing so bad on my own.
I went outside when I heard the honk of a horn, seeing Ginger in her car. We were going to lunch, and I walked down the stairs and slid into the car as I smiled at her. “Hey. How’s your day?”
“Good. Classes and all,” she replied, still keeping talk of school vague around me. It was silly since it was my decision to take a break. I frowned at her as she drove away, seeing something else in her face.
“Ginger, you can talk about school,” I reminded her as she nibbled on her lip.
“It’s not just that. I saw Liam with a woman today eating lunch. They were smiling and happy, and I knew then that you let him go.” I sighed as she spoke, hearing the disappointment in her voice. “He would be here for you.”
She hadn’t let the night at the pizza place go. I told her that he left with a blonde and she asked me what else he was supposed to do. I just froze in front of him, offering him nothing. She still wanted me to tell him about the baby, particularly since I was keeping it.
“We’ve been through this. It’s better this way,” I reminded her, even as the pain of him being with a woman chipped at my heart. ‘Was she blonde?”
“Brunette,” Ginger told me with a curious look on her face. “What blonde are you referring to?”
I realized that I never told her too much about Liam leaving the restaurant with the woman. I explained now, and she shot me a look at the stoplight that sent daggers my way. “Now he’s been with at least two women, I guess. Good for him.”
“Jesus, Elena. He’s just a man, and he won’t wait forever,” she said before going silent. “He’s asked me about you a few times when I’ve passed him on campus.”
“What?” I asked, surprised by this confession. “What did you tell him?”
“Just that you’re better from the accident and living with me. He remembered the dorm, so I explained the whole roommate scenario and why I ended up in an apartment to begin with.” Ginger hated sharing a dorm, especially with a girl that had guys over all the time. The scarf signal just didn’t work for her, and she spoke to her parents, getting right into the apartment. “He misses you, Elena. I see it in his eyes when he talks to me. You’re not teacher-student anymore, so why not speak to him?”
“I don’t think that telling him he’s going to be a dad in five months is anything that he wants to hear,” I reminded her as she gave me a long look. “Besides, he’s moved on according to you. I don’t want to be that girl that messes with his life that way. I had my chance to tell him and didn’t.” It was a talk we’d had many times over, and I wasn’t looking forward to it again, apart from there being a new girl.
That hurt.
“He could be a dad and with someone else. It happens all of the time,” Ginger told me as I rolled my eyes. “I almost said it to him, Elena. I think that he deserves to know and make his own choice.”
I remained quiet as we pulled up to my favorite cafe. I wasn’t sure if I was hungry or nauseous when we left the car and found our seat, ordering a fruit juice to calm my stomach. “Do you regret not telling him?” Ginger asked as I looked at her for a moment. “Just a little?”
“Maybe a little. I can’t tell you how many times I have dreamed of things being different with us,” I mused, smiling for a moment. “Why did this have to happen with the one guy that was off limits?”
“He was off limits. He isn’t necessarily that way now.” I laughed and rubbed my face with my hand.
“That’s way too much to explain. People can do the math.” She shrugged, and we looked down at the menu to decide what to get. The conversation switched over to my new clients and what I was working on before we ordered sandwiches. She was talking about the baby and what she thought it was as I smiled, feeling deep inside that I was going to have a daughter. I hoped that she would have her daddy’s eyes and maybe my hair. I wanted her to look like her father because he was the most handsome man that I’d ever seen.
We split a piece of chocolate cake for dessert since I couldn’t get enough of it right now.
We were walking towards the car as I cursed how full I was and I looked across the street to see Liam leaving the used bookstore. He had a dark-haired girl with him, and they were looking at the cover of a book in his hand as they talked intimately and I pressed my lips together. “Is that her?” I asked as Ginger followed my gaze.
“Yeah, it is.” I took her in and noticed that she was probably a few years older than I was. She looked smart and not like some of the sorority girls that I saw staring at him in class, though she hopefully wasn’t a student. I was sure that he learned a lesson from us. She was still pretty, though. I hoped that she made him happy. “Tell him,” Ginger said as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
As if on cue, Liam turned his head to see me watching him as a frown crossed his face. I knew that he couldn’t see the beginnings of my baby bump and was relieved, but I hated the way he still made me feel inside.
Pregnancy hormones when you were single sucked. I was getting myself off more than ever and finding fascinating forms of porn on the internet. I missed Liam and wasn’t ready for another man to take his place, but eventually, I knew that it would happen. “I can’t. He needs to be happy, Gin.”
“He would be with you,” she assured me as I shook my head and forced a weak smile before he turned to keep walking. We got into the car and did some shopping as I played his face back through my mind. I was getting emotional in this pregnancy and thought about him far too much for my own good.
Ginger and I carried groceries into the apartment as she talked about a guy that she was interested in. I missed the days of just being a student and not worrying about much else, making me smile ruefully. I sure messed that all up, didn’t I?
We stayed up late watching movies and eating popcorn before I fell asleep on the couch. Ginger covered me with a blanket as usual and left me there, waking me up to the smell of coffee. I wasn’t drinking it, but she still did. I stuck to tea when I really needed it. This was a regular routine for us now since I couldn’t stay awake to save my life at night.
CHAPTER 20
Liam
I finished the semester never happier since I kept staring at Elena’s empty desk all the time. I’d been teaching this class for a long time but never gotten so attached to a student in my life. I longed for the future that I thought I planned with Elena but things changed, and I was with Nora now.
Nora was a new teacher at the campus, and we met over lunch one day. She was twenty-seven and kind, but more than that she was safe. I was missing Elena something awful and finally wanted someone in my life. We started dating slowly, and I was still a bit spooked, but she understood. We spent more time talking than anything else, though I’d given into sleeping with her a couple of months into the relationship. I claimed that an ex did a number on me but left the det
ails vague. Nora was happy with anything that I had to offer, and it was casual thus far.
She hadn’t even met Marie.
I checked in with Ginger a couple of times when we crossed paths, and she told me that Elena was doing better. I knew that she was living with Ginger now, and happy that she gave up the studio. I could never put my finger on it, but there was something in Ginger’s eyes that told me she was hiding something. I even asked her before the semester ended, though she brushed me off.
I just decided to spend time with Nora and put the past behind me. It had been a few months now, and we were over, weren’t we? She was probably getting set to go back to school and working a lot like I knew her to do. Elena was a motivated girl, and she’d do just fine in life, even if it weren't spent with me. I swore to never date a student again after all the paranoia and pain that had been involved.
I grilled a lot outside when the weather allowed it, and Nora was great at helping in the kitchen. She was fixing a salad in the kitchen while I finished steaks in the cool Winter air, looking forward to the fire inside. It was a week after school ended for the semester and I was trying to be relaxed about it. I finished the meat and covered the grill before walking inside to find her tossing everything together. There were times that I wish I’d have picked a blonde so I wouldn’t be so reminded of Elena when I saw her. Nora was a sweet, beautiful girl and I knew that she cared for me a lot. “Hey. All done?”
“Yep. What do you have for me in here?” I asked as she smiled and carried a salad to the table.