I know there will still be occasions when I have to say “if only” about something, but my life is definitely more serene because of my policy of doing everything possible to avoid that eventuality. And even though it takes an extra minute to do something right, or it occasionally takes an hour or two in my busy schedule to make a personal connection, I know that I’m doing the right thing. I’m buying myself peace of mind and that’s the best kind of insurance for my emotional wellbeing.
~Amy Newmark
You’ve Got Yourself a Deal!
If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus.
~Emma Goldman
When Marita was 13, it was the era of tie-dyed T-shirts and frayed jeans. Even though I had grown up in the Depression and had no money for clothes, I had never dressed this poorly. One day I saw her out in the driveway rubbing the hems of her new jeans with dirt and rocks. I was aghast at her ruining these pants I had just paid for and ran out to tell her so. She continued to grind on as I recounted my soap opera of childhood deprivation. As I concluded without having moved her to tears of repentance, I asked why she was wrecking her new jeans. She replied without looking up, “You can’t wear new ones.”
“Why not?”
“You just can’t, so I’m messing them up to make them look old.” Such total loss of logic! How could it be the style to ruin new clothes?
Each morning as she would leave for school I would stare at her and sigh, “My daughter looking like that.” There she’d stand in her father’s old T-shirt, tie-dyed with big blue spots and streaks. Fit for a duster, I thought. And those jeans — so low-slung I feared if she took a deep breath, they’d drop off her rear. But where would they go? They were so tight and stiff they couldn’t move. The frayed bottoms, helped by the rocks, had strings that dragged behind her as she walked.
One day after she had left for school, it was as if the Lord got my attention and said, “Do you realize what your last words are to Marita each morning? ‘My daughter looking like that.’ When she gets to school and her friends talk about their old-fashioned mothers who complain all the time, she’ll have your constant comments to contribute. Have you ever looked at the other girls in junior high? Why not give them a glance?”
I drove over to pick her up that day and observed that many of the other girls looked even worse. On the way home I mentioned how I had overreacted to her ruining her jeans. I offered a compromise: “From now on you can wear anything you want to school and with your friends, and I won’t bug you about it.”
“That’ll be a relief.”
“But when I take you out with me to church or shopping or to my friends, I’d like you to dress in something you know I like without my having to say a word.”
She thought about it.
Then I added, “That means you get 95 percent your way and I get 5 percent for me. What do you think?”
She got a twinkle in her eye as she put out her hand and shook mine. “Mother, you’ve got yourself a deal!”
From then on I gave her a happy farewell in the morning and didn’t bug her about her clothes. When I took her out with me, she dressed properly without fussing. We had ourselves a deal!
~Florence Littauer
Take a Moment to Really See
Intuition is a spiritual faculty and does not explain, but simply points the way.
~Florence Scovel Shinn
We have all heard the expression: “Remember to stop and smell the roses.” But, how often do we really take time out of our hectic fast-paced lives to notice the world around us? Too often we get caught up in our busy schedules, thoughts of our next appointment, the traffic or life in general, to even realize there are other people nearby.
I am as guilty as anyone of tuning out the world in this manner, especially when I am driving on California’s overcrowded streets. A short time ago, however, I witnessed an event that showed me how being wrapped up in my own little world has kept me from being fully aware of the bigger world picture around me.
I was driving to a business appointment and, as usual, I was planning in my mind what I was going to say. I came to a very busy intersection where the stoplight had just turned red. “All right,” I thought to myself, “I can beat the next light if I race ahead of the pack.”
My mind and car were on autopilot, ready to go, when suddenly my trance was broken by an unforgettable sight. A young couple, both blind, were walking arm-in-arm across this busy intersection with cars whizzing by in every direction. The man was holding the hand of a little boy, while the woman was clutching a baby sling to her chest, obviously carrying a child. Each of them had a white cane extended, searching for clues to navigate them across the intersection.
Initially I was moved. They were overcoming what I felt was one of the most feared handicaps — blindness. “Wouldn’t it be terrible to be blind?” I thought. My thought was quickly interrupted by horror when I saw that the couple was not walking in the crosswalk, but was instead veering diagonally, directly toward the middle of the intersection. Without realizing the danger they were in, they were walking right smack into the path of oncoming cars. I was frightened for them because I didn’t know if the other drivers understood what was happening.
As I watched from the front line of traffic (I had the best seat in the house), I saw a miracle unfold before my eyes. Every car in every direction came to a simultaneous stop. I never heard the screech of brakes or even the peep of a car horn. Nobody even yelled, “Get out of the way!” Everything froze. In that moment, time seemed to stand still for this family.
Amazed, I looked at the cars around me to verify that we were all seeing the same thing. I noticed that everyone’s attention was also fixed on the couple. Suddenly the driver to my right reacted. Craning his head out of his car, he yelled, “To your right. To your right!” Other people followed in unison, shouting, “To your right!”
Never skipping a beat, the couple adjusted their course as they followed the coaching. Trusting their white canes and the calls from some concerned citizens, they made it to the other side of the road. As they arrived at the curb, one thing struck me — they were still arm-in-arm.
I was taken aback by the emotionless expressions on their faces and judged that they had no idea what was really going on around them. Yet I immediately sensed the sighs of relief exhaled by everyone stopped at that intersection.
As I glanced into the cars around me, the driver on my right was mouthing the words “Whew, did you see that?” The driver to the left of me was saying, “I can’t believe it!” I think all of us were deeply moved by what we had just witnessed. Here were human beings stepping outside themselves for a moment to help four people in need.
I have reflected back on this situation many times since it happened and have learned several powerful lessons from it. The first is: “Slow down and smell the roses.” (Something I had rarely done up until then.) Take time to look around and really see what is going on in front of you right now. Do this and you will realize that this moment is all there is; more importantly, this moment is all that you have to make a difference in life.
The second lesson I learned is that the goals we set for ourselves can be attained through faith in ourselves and trust in others, despite seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
The blind couple’s goal was simply to get to the other side of the road intact. Their obstacle was eight lanes of cars aimed straight at them. Yet, without panic or doubt, they walked forward until they reached their goal.
We too can move forward in attaining our goals, putting blinders on to the obstacles that would stand in our way. We just need to trust our intuition and accept the guidance of others who may have greater insight.
Finally, I learned to really appreciate my gift of sight, something I had taken for granted all too often.
Can you imagine how different life would be without your eyes? Try to imagine for a mome
nt, walking into a busy intersection without being able to see. How often we forget the simple yet incredible gifts we have in our life.
As I drove away from that busy intersection, I did so with more awareness of life and compassion for others than I had arrived there with. Since then I have made the decision to really see life as I go about my daily activities and use my God-given talents to help others less fortunate.
Do yourself a favor as you walk through life: Slow down and take the time to really see. Take a moment to see what is going on around you right now, right where you are. You may be missing something wonderful.
~Jeffrey Michael Thomas
If I Had My Life to Live Over
Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.
~Wayne Dyer
I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax. I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.
I would take more trips.
I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day.
Oh, I’ve had my moments and if I had it to do over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments.
One after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.
I’ve been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute.
If I had it to do again, I would travel lighter next time.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.
~Nadine Stair (age 85)
Sachi
In my soul, I am still that small child who did not care about anything else but the beautiful colors of a rainbow.
~Papiha Ghosh
Soon after her brother was born, little Sachi began to ask her parents to leave her alone with the new baby. They worried that like most four-year-olds, she might feel jealous and want to hit or shake him, so they said no. But she showed no signs of jealousy. She treated the baby with kindness and her pleas to be left alone with him became more urgent. They decided to allow it.
Elated, she went into the baby’s room and shut the door, but it opened a crack — enough for her curious parents to peek in and listen. They saw little Sachi walk quietly up to her baby brother, put her face close to his and say quietly, “Baby, tell me what God feels like. I’m starting to forget.”
~Dan Millman
The Dolphin’s Gift
I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.
~G.K. Chesterton
I was in about 40 feet of water, alone. I knew I should not have gone alone, but I was very competent and just took a chance. There was not much current, and the water was so warm, clear and enticing. When I got a cramp, I realized at once how foolish I was. I was not too alarmed, but was completely doubled up with stomach cramps. I tried to remove my weight belt, but I was so doubled up I could not get to the catch. I was sinking and began to feel more frightened, unable to move. I could see my watch and knew there was only a little more time on the tank before I would be out of air. I tried to massage my abdomen. I wasn’t wearing a wet suit, but couldn’t straighten out and couldn’t get to the cramped muscles with my hands.
I thought, “I can’t go like this! I have things to do!” I just couldn’t die anonymously this way with no one to even know what happened to me. I called out in my mind, “Somebody, something, help me!”
I was not prepared for what happened. Suddenly I felt a prodding from behind me under the armpit. I thought, “Oh no, sharks!” I felt real terror and despair. But my arm was being lifted forcibly. Around into my field of vision came an eye — the most marvelous eye I could ever imagine. I swear it was smiling. It was the eye of a big dolphin. Looking into that eye, I knew I was safe.
It moved farther forward, nudging under and hooking its dorsal fin below my armpit with my arm over its back. I relaxed, hugging it, flooded with relief. I felt that the animal was conveying security to me, that it was healing me as well as lifting me toward the surface. My stomach cramps went away as we ascended and I relaxed with security, but I felt very strongly that it healed me too.
At the surface it drew me all the way into shore. It took me into water so shallow that I began to be concerned that it might be beached, and I pushed it back a little deeper, where it waited, watching me, I guess to see if I was all right.
It felt like another lifetime. When I took off the weight belt and oxygen tank, I just took everything off and went naked back into the ocean to the dolphin. I felt so light and free and alive, and just wanted to play in the sun and the water in all that freedom. The dolphin took me back out and played around in the water with me. I noticed that there were a lot of dolphins there, farther out.
After a while it brought me back to shore. I was very tired then, almost collapsing and he made sure I was safe in the shallowest water. Then he turned sideways with one eye looking into mine. We stayed that way for what seemed like a very long time, timeless I guess, in a trance almost, with personal thoughts from the past going through my mind. Then he made just one sound and went out to join the others. And all of them left.
~Elizabeth Gawain
The Touch of the Master’s Hand
To send light into the darkness of men’s hearts — such is the duty of the artist.
~Schumann
’Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile.
“What am I bidden, good folks,” he cried,
“Who’ll start the bidding for me?”
“A dollar, a dollar,” then, two! Only two?
“Two dollars, and who’ll make it three?
“Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three...” But no,
From the room, far back, a gray-haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loose strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet
As a caroling angel sings.
The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said: “What am I bid for the old violin?”
And he held it up with the bow.
“A thousand dollars, and who’ll make it two?
Two thousand! And who’ll make it three?
Three thousand, once; three thousand, twice;
And going and gone,” said he.
The people cheered, but some of them cried,
“We do not quite understand
What changed its worth?”
Swift came the reply:
“The touch of a master’s hand.”
And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.
A “mess of potage,” a glass of wine;
A game — and he travels on.
He is “going” once, and “going” twice,
He’s “going” and almost “gone.”
But the Master comes and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul and the change that’s wrought
By the touch of the Master’s hand.
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br /> ~Myra B. Welch
Afterword
The overarching theme in this book is positive thinking. You’ve read story after story about how people have used positive thinking to navigate difficult situations, reorient their lives, and improve their personal relationships. We all want to go about our days with a positive outlook — but we don’t always know how to do it.
It’s our job at Chicken Soup for the Soul to focus on finding stories for you that are positive and uplifting and helpful. Before I became publisher of Chicken Soup for the Soul five years ago, I spent six months getting to know the company, and I read 100 of the old titles. After reading all of those books and tens of thousands of stories submitted for our more recent books, the thing that has struck me the most is the resilience of the human spirit. We try to show you that in all our books.
I’ve learned how strong people are and how tough they are, and I’ve read about them overcoming challenges and moving on with their lives, even after horrible things have happened. It’s inspiring to be in my job and read all these stories from people just like us — regular people — who’ve done extraordinary things that I couldn’t imagine doing. All those powerful new thought leaders who contributed the bonus stories to this 20th Anniversary Edition of Chicken Soup for the Soul were ordinary people at one time — they became extraordinary due to events in their own lives... and because they used their positive thinking!
What I’ve learned is that we are all capable of handling a lot. And our ability to handle things seems to expand when we need it to.
Norman Vincent Peale said it best: “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” Now that makes a lot of sense, because the world you see is colored by how you see it. I find myself acting a lot more optimistic and grounded today than I was years ago, and I think it’s because of the good examples I see in our books — stories from people from all walks of life showing such can-do spirit, such resilience, and such a positive attitude despite their circumstances. I see ordinary people turning into extraordinary people, and I see how we all have that capability inside ourselves.
Chicken Soup for the Soul 20th Anniversary Edition Page 24