“Stay as long as you’d like, Brian.” Da gave him an easy smile. “And, Mr. Navis, you’re welcome to spend the night and attend church services with us in the morning. I believe there’s an afternoon train back to Milwaukee.”
“Yes, sir. That would be great. Thank you.”
And thank You, Lord, Renna prayed. Brian wouldn’t be leaving just yet!
He lowered himself into one of the armchairs. “Again, you have my thanks as well. And I’d like my children to visit next Saturday.”
“That would be lovely,” Mum said. “We’d enjoy meeting them.” She snapped her fingers. “Next Saturday’s the autumn festival at church—to raise money for the soup kitchen. I’ll be selling apple pies at a booth, but there’s lots of things for children, like the carousel and games galore.” Mum regarded Brian with a little gleam in her eye. “Come and bring the children. Perhaps if they associate a fun outing with seeing their father again, you, Captain, will be a few steps ahead in reuniting yourself with them.”
“The children love festivals.” Richard grinned and glanced at Brian. “It’s a good idea.”
“They love festivals, eh?” Brian wagged his head. Remorse filled his being. “I never knew that.”
“It’s not too late to learn that and more about your kids, Captain.”
“Thank you, Richard. You’re right.”
“And plan to spend the night here,” Mum said. “It’s all too much for one day.”
“I’ll plan on it. I’m sure Sarah will be delighted to meet you all.”
Brian rubbed his jaw. “I hope she’ll be able to forgive me.”
“She will—and she does.”
“Might I ask why forgiveness needs imparting?” Mum’s brows knitted together in question.
Renna knew the answer, but it was for Brian to tell.
“Dear lady, I’m afraid I did a terrible thing this last summer. I sported with Sarah’s emotions as a way to manipulate her into staying on as my children’s governess. She’d only been hired for the summer. So I wrote a poor recommendation to the music school here in Chicago at which Sarah hoped to teach. I purposely dashed her dreams, for which I’m as sorry as I can possibly be.”
A moment of silence passed in which Renna felt proud of Brian. It took a brave man to admit such a wrongdoing.
Mr. Navis cleared his throat. “The letter worked out well for me,” he said with a wry grin.
The tension abated at once. Renna saw her folks and Brian smile.
“Renna, can you beg off of work next Saturday?” Da asked.
“I’ll try. If nothing else, perhaps I can leave early.” Oh, how she hoped Nurse Thatcher and Nurse Rutledge would give her the day off!
“I want you to meet my children, Renna.”
“And I want to meet them. Here’s hoping my supervisors will cooperate.”
“We’ll pray to that end,” Mum said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll bring in our dessert and coffee.”
“I’ll help you, Mum.”
Making her way to the kitchen, happiness rose up inside of her. Her pirate wasn’t leaving. Not yet. She still had time . . .
But time for what? Time to hope a man like Brian Sinclair would fall in love with her? The very thought was ludicrous and virtually impossible. Brian was accustomed to having women around him who were ten times more beautiful and sophisticated than Renna could ever hope to be.
No. She must stop her fanciful ideas now while she could. Her pirate would leave sometime. How foolish to imagine such fairy-tale-like endings. Perhaps Nurse Rutledge and Nurse Thatcher had been correct, that she got herself too personally involved with her patients. She’d only get hurt—they both said so.
But too late. It seemed her heart had already made up its mind.
SIXTEEN
Renna worked the next eight days straight at the hospital. Three of those days were comprised of eighteen-hour shifts. Her stern superiors knew her former patient’s children planned to visit, and they not only denied her a day off but also lopped on extra work in order to teach her not to become too attached to her patients. Renna still fumed at Nurse Thatcher’s antics. But by Sunday night, Renna could barely form a thought—which she’d decided was good thing. Thinking this past week not only caused her a good amount of frustration, but it also made her heart ache, because each time her pirate came to mind, so did her birthmark.
If you continue in My Word, that still small voice seemed to whisper in her ear now as she made her way home, you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free . . .
“Well, good evening, Renna—or should I say good morning? It’s midnight.”
Renna started at the sound of the hushed male voice. She stood in the hallway between her father’s study and the parlor, her wrap hanging loosely around her shoulders. “What are you doing awake? You should be sleeping.”
“So should you.” Brian stepped out of the shadows.
Renna leaned back against the wall. “We’ve been busy at the hospital . . . and shorthanded.”
“Well, your excuse is better than mine. I just have insomnia tonight.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Would you like me to make you an herbal remedy?”
“No, thank you.” He stepped toward her. “But I wouldn’t mind company. Would you like to share the last of the firelight with me?”
“I don’t think I’d be very good company. I was just trying to gather my strength to go upstairs to bed.”
Brian moved forward and helped her off with her wrap. Just when she was about to ask how he knew to politely assist her, he stumbled loudly before hanging it on the wooden rack near the front door. It pleased her to see how well he’d been adapting to his disability while she’d been so busy this last week.
Brian turned back to her and held out his hand. “Why not gather your strength by a warm fire?”
Renna considered him. Even through her weary eyes, Captain Brian Sinclair made a handsome sight. He wore his own clothes, which fit him much better than the old charity garb. A crisp, white shirt was tucked into suspendered black pants.
“Renna?”
Mentally shaking herself, she accepted the offer she didn’t have the energy to decline. His large palm felt warm as it covered her hand. Suddenly she realized how cold she was.
In the parlor darkness shrouded all but the golden hearth. An opened Bible sat on the coffee table in front of the settee. “Was my father reading to you tonight?”
“Um . . . well . . . about that, Renna . . . ”
“Saint John, chapter eight.” She viewed the page at which the Bible had been left open. “Was that the reading tonight?”
“Yes.”
Renna studied the words, and the last part of verse 32 seemed to jump out at her: “ . . . the truth shall make you free.” With a heavy sigh, she sat down on the settee beside Brian. Her conscience pricked her. She should tell him about her birthmark and spare him—and her—further wasted time.
“You missed meeting my children.”
Renna noted the disappointment in Brian’s voice. It matched her own. “I know, and I’m so sorry.”
“You’ve been so busy and gone so much.” He sounded dismayed. “They work you too hard.”
“I’m aware of that as well.” Renna felt the physical effects taking their toll on her body, mind, and spirit. She smoothed back a lock of hair, more than glad that Brian couldn’t see it. Under her cap for days, it needed a good scrubbing. “Tell me, how are your children faring?”
Brian blew out a weary-sounding sigh of his own. “My girls, Libby and Rachel, were frightened of me. They wouldn’t stay here, so Richard and Sarah took them to the hotel to give them some space to . . . recover. They wouldn’t warm up to me in spite of the fact that Richard and Sarah had tried to prepare them and we attended the autumn festival as planned. But it didn’t help.”
“I’m sure that had to be difficult.”
“Yes, it was. The only bit of good I gleaned is that Richard and Sarah
seem very happy together.”
Renna noticed the lilt in his tone. “I’m glad.” She smiled. “But you knew they would be.” She wished she could have met the woman who married the quick-witted steward.
“Yes, well, I didn’t anticipate my sons’ reaction to me nearly as expertly. Michael, my ten-year-old, kept his distance, and Gabriel . . . ” Brian left his son’s name dangling.
“What about him?”
“He’s my oldest son and he hates me. He said he hates me.”
“No!” Renna drew herself back.
“It’s true.”
“I’m sure those words must have wounded you terribly. But he can’t mean them.”
“He does. I’m afraid he means every syllable.” Brian picked up her hand and turned it in his much larger one in a way that made Renna believe he could actually see her rough, dry skin from giving so many baths and shaves, not to mention all her hand-washing. “Renna, I don’t know what I would have done without you all these weeks.”
“You were in God’s control the entire time.”
“But He set me in your care, and you were more than my nurse, Renna. You were—you are—my friend.”
“I only did my job.” Renna slowly pulled her hand free, wondering if things might have been different if she’d been here to meet his children. If they liked her and had seen that she was fond of their father, perhaps . . .
“You did more than your job, Renna.” His voice sounded as rich and velvety as Mum’s chocolate cake. “My children’s disappointing reactions might have devastated me if I couldn’t rely on our friendship.”
His admission both pleased and frightened her. “I’m honored to be your friend, Mr. Pirate Blackeyes.”
He chuckled, although the smile began to slip from his face. “I would like to be more than—”
“Don’t say it.” She stood.
“What’s wrong? Have I misinterpreted your feelings somehow?”
Renna peered at him from over her shoulder. “You noticed?”
He grinned and lowered his gaze. “Renna, you’re very transparent.”
She worked her lower lip between her teeth, aghast that she hadn’t sufficiently covered her emotions.
Brian only laughed. “Come back here and sit down.”
She stood statue still.
“Come here. I’m not as much pirate as you think.”
“I shouldn’t . . . ”
“I’m asking you. Please.”
Renna swallowed hard as Brian moved to take hold of her elbow and bring her in beside him.
“Let’s talk about our feelings once and for all. I’ve had to do some heavy soul-searching this weekend, what with my children here.”
Feelings, Renna could handle. It was the admission about her birthmark that she struggled with. She knew she should tell him about her appearance. And, again, she heard her conscience say, The truth will make you free . . .
“First, I have a confession, Brian.”
“You?”
“Yes.” Her heart seemed to bang against her rib cage. “I’m not the woman you think I am.”
Sitting back against the settee, he frowned slightly but appeared unconcerned. “Oh? How’s that?”
“Well, you said that I was . . . beautiful. But I’m not.” She paused then pushed the words out in a rush. “I’m blemished by a large purple birthmark. It’s an unsightly thing—it even clashes with the color of my hair.” She chanced a look at him, noting that he didn’t seem appalled—yet. “People give me curious glances everywhere I go.” Renna forced herself onward. “I doubt a man of your caliber should be seen with a woman like me. It could ruin your social standing and affect your influence with prominent people.”
She held her breath, wondering at his reaction.
•••
“Hmm . . . ” Brian sat by, momentarily pensive, wondering how he should reply. Renna was both right and wrong. Wrong, because his influence had never been based on appearance but on money. The social standing part might have been a legitimate concern at one time. Now, however, Brian couldn’t care less what others thought. “Renna, it’s true that in the past I made friends according to how they might profit me. But I’m a changed man. God spared my life for a reason.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
“Then believe me when I say that your birthmark makes no difference to me.” He felt Renna stiffen beside him.
“It’ll make a difference to others, and you’ll be subject to ridicule if you’re seen in public with me.”
“What others might say or think will not intimidate me.” Brian considered her for a long moment. He had to admit the fact that he was romantically interested in a woman at all was sure to make the society page of the newspaper in Milwaukee. He knew the local gossips could be vicious.
Oh, well, he’d just have to make sure he protected Renna from all that. And he could.
Suddenly he wondered if he ought to be honest with her too. Perhaps now was the perfect time to tell her that he wasn’t blind and that he’d seen her every expression and that she was, most certainly, beautiful in his eyes.
Then, thinking better of it, he decided to use the situation to his advantage.
“Renna, are you ashamed to be seen with me?”
“What? Why would I be ashamed?”
“Because I’m blind. What will your friends think? What’s more, my disability may burden you.”
“Never. And no friend of mine could ever shame me for falling in love with a blind man.” As she realized her admission, her cheeks flamed a deeper crimson than Brian had ever seen.
He chuckled softly under his breath. “Renna, the same is true for my friends. No true friend of mine is going to look on you and judge you to be any less of a person because of your birthmark.”
“And you don’t mind that it’s there?”
“No.”
“But you haven’t seen it.”
“I have a very good imagination.”
“Oh.” She lowered her gaze.
Brian grinned at her reaction before growing serious again. There was one thing he had to be boldly honest about with her.
“Renna, there is something I’m struggling with, and you should know.”
“What is it?” She met his stare and expectancy shone from her green eyes.
“After being around your family, and then after hearing Richard and Sarah together—well, I want to believe that two people really can fall in love and live happily ever after. I guess I do believe it’s possible now, whereas I didn’t before. I’ve witnessed it. However, I’ve never experienced it for myself.” He paused momentarily to collect his thoughts. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you be patient with a pirate like me who’s trying to figure out if he’s in love with you?”
Renna sucked in a breath, obviously taken aback by his candidness. But then her features softened, and that sweet, gentle expression of which he’d grown so fond replaced her surprise.
“You’re a worthy pirate, all right.” She smiled. “I’ll have no problem being patient.”
“But you can’t treat me like one.”
“Like one . . . what?”
“An invalid. I am not your patient, Renna, so don’t treat me like one. I’m a man, and I don’t want to be coddled.”
“But you’re blind.”
“And I’ll have to learn to deal with it like a man.”
She peered down at her hands, folded in her lap. “I’m a nurse, and I only wanted to do my job.”
“You’ve done a fine job. I doubt I’d be alive today if you hadn’t taken pity on me from the beginning. But now I’m getting stronger, and if I need your help in the future, Renna, I shall ask for it.”
She lifted her head, looking so hurt that Brian felt tempted to apologize. He wondered if she were going to cry. Oh, a woman’s tears—Brian had seen a million of them. A sea of them! Was Renna going to use tears as a form of manipulation to get her way? To make him feel guilty for his honesty?
<
br /> Much to his relief, she was made of stiffer stuff. She turned back to him, appearing as tired as she said but no worse for wear. “Your request is not unreasonable,” she stated at last, “and I’ll try to refrain from . . . coddling you.”
“Thank you.” He smiled. “My children could use the coddling, though. I want your help, Renna, in winning them back.”
•••
He needed her. No wonder her birthmark didn’t make a difference to him. He probably didn’t expect to be able to attract anyone worthwhile as a blind man. Or perhaps he thought someone would try to take advantage of him as he had done to others over the years. In any case, it wasn’t love. He’d said as much. He didn’t believe in romantic love. Could she stand a marriage based on need?
Renna stood. “I have to think about this.”
“Think about it?” Brian slowly got to his feet.
“Yes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must turn in. I’m nearly delirious with fatigue.”
“Quite understandable.” He cleared his throat. “I suppose the proper next step would be for me to speak with your father.”
“Yes, do.”
Brian walked with her to the stairs. “Good night, Renna.” Taking her hand, he pressed a kiss onto her fingers.
Her heart skipped a beat, and Renna was glad her pirate couldn’t see the tears that formed in her eyes. “Good night.”
As she walked up the steps, a heavy veil of despair fell over her. What if they did marry and he gained back his sight? Would he want her then? Could any man, aside from Da, love her for who she was, birthmark and all?
SEVENTEEN
Renna, I’m afraid I had to put my foot down this afternoon,” Da said.
Darkness shrouded the small foyer as Renna shrugged off her coat and hung it up. She’d put in another eighteen hours at the hospital and felt numb from exhaustion. “What on earth are you doing still awake?” she asked her father.
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