by Kara Hart
“Fuck off, Harry,” I say, heading for the exit. “I’ll shoot guns with whoever I want to. And look, I’ll read through those books by day one, but I want some real shit on my desk by Monday. Got it?”
I don’t wait for an answer, though he nods his head, in shock. Yeah, I just did that. Go me.
When I’m outside, it starts to rain. Lucky for me, I had to take back my rental car yesterday, so I’m without any vehicle. Soon, I’m drenched from head to toe. I’m stepping in mud puddles, wet shrubs, you name it. I’m fucking pissed off.
Soren. Harry. Men of the world. You all sicken me!
“Hey, stranger!” I hear a woman’s voice call out to me. “Need a ride?” I quickly turn to see a black BMW stopped in the middle of the road. It’s Julia. Great, my day keeps getting better and better.
“Sure,” I call out. “Why not?”
“Jump in,” she says, pushing the door open. I get in, soaking her leather seats, but she doesn’t seem to mind. I awkwardly close the door and keep quiet.
“You look freezing!” she exclaims. “My god! Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “I had a bit of a work thing and I don’t really have a car right now.”
“Jesus,” she whispers. “Anyway, I hope you’re good now. We’ll get you home.”
“Fuck,” I mutter. “Home…”
“What? What’s wrong?” she asks.
“I don’t particularly want to go home right now. I feel as if I’ll die from boredom and—” I stop myself. “Anyway, it’s not like it’s your problem.”
“You want to come over for a bit? Gabe’s not home. I think he’s out training or something. You should have fun with me. We can have a girls’ night,” she says with a smile.
A girls’ night with Julia isn’t exactly the kind of thing I was looking for, but it is company more than myself. That’s something, I suppose. “Sure. Why not?”
“Yes!” she claps her hands together, letting go of the wheel for a second. “Finally, some fun.”
“Yay,” I fake excitement.
She turns the corner and within a few minutes going straight, I see their house in the distance. “I owe you an apology,” she says out of nowhere.
“An apology? No, I don’t think you do,” I tell her.
“No, I do,” she says. “I didn’t say one word to you at the dinner the other night and I feel horrible about it. It’s not the impression I wanted to give. I just—”
“I get it,” I laugh. “You dated Soren, so I’m naturally an enemy too.”
“Not anymore,” she says. “I was being stupid. He’s always been so cold to me, ever since everything happened. I guess I’ve been carrying around that anger for a while now. I’m really sorry, Emma.”
“It’s water under the bridge,” I tell her. “Honestly.”
She gives me a warm smile and steps out of the car. We walk inside and she gives me a bathrobe. “Here,” she says. “You can wear this while you dry your clothes.”
“Thanks,” I laugh. “I owe you one.”
She’s already halfway into the kitchen, yelling, “Do you want any wine?”
“I’d love some wine!” I yell.
I take off my clothes, dripping onto the marble floor. This is not the kind of “wet” I wanted to be today. I was supposed to be with Soren. He was supposed to be holding me by now, and we were supposed to be consumed by each other. Instead, he’s off playing hero.
I don’t know what kind of fantasy these Payne brothers are living in, but it’s something completely off base.
“I think I know where your husband is,” I tell her, after I’m all dried off and in the kitchen with her. She has the gas fireplace going inside and out, and I’m feeling a hell of a lot better, and a little bit tipsy.
“Don’t tell me he’s cheating on me,” she says. “Is he fucking cheating on me?”
“No,” I burst out laughing. “He’s not cheating on you. I think he’s with Soren.”
“Oh no. What could they be up to?” she asks.
“You know why Soren’s back, right?” I ask her. I might be going too far with this, but I have no one else to talk to.
She shrugs and holds her glass of wine in front of her. “Gabe just said he came back for some money he left him a while back. That’s it, right?” she asks.
“No,” I frown. “They—”
“Is this something I don’t want to know? Is he in trouble?” she asks. “Is my husband in trouble?”
“No,” I fake a laugh. Yes, I’ve definitely gone too far. “They’re looking at places to expand his business. Gabe wants to hire him and Soren is actually interested.”
There’s nothing I hate more than lying, but this is an exception. I’m alone in worrying about this and that’s fine. I just have to hope to god they’re safe. Because if they’re not, it’s not only my world that will come apart. It’s Julia’s. It’s the waitress at the diner. It’s so many people from here.
“Well!” She smiles. “You almost had me there. My heart was pounding so damn hard.”
“No, it’s a good thing. Isn’t it?” I smile back and quickly look away. I drink more of my wine and hope it kicks in faster.
“If Gabe thinks it’s a good idea, then it’s a good idea,” she says.
“Anyway, enough about Gabe. He’s boring,” she says. She leans forward in her chair. “So you and Soren. Are you head over heels?”
“You know, if this was last year, I wouldn’t have paid any attention to him. He’s big and kind of rough, you know?” She nods. “But I can’t help but feel like my whole world has been rocked in the best, and sometimes worst, way possible. I really like him, Julia.”
“Oh my god,” she whispers. “You love him, don’t you?”
“I don’t know.” I blink wildly. “I might. But how do you know?”
“You just know,” she says. “Like, with Gabe. I felt so wrong about it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Every single day it was just Gabe, Gabe, Gabe. 24/7. He was always with me and when he wasn’t, it hurt so goddamn bad. I’d lay in bed crying. I was young then. We both were. But that was when I fell in love with him. I had to leave Soren.”
“I’m glad you did, no offense,” I say.
“Me too,” she laughs.
“You know, it’s like that with Soren. I mean, even him being gone for the day has eaten me up. I’m going insane, Julia,” I say.
“There it is,” she says. “You’re fucked. I hope you know that. The Payne family is full of crazy men. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”
“You’re joking, right?” I laugh awkwardly.
“Well, we’re all a little crazy, right?” she laughs. “I’m eighty percent joking.”
“Great,” I laugh. I guess the twenty percent is the part that thinks it’s okay to leave your girlfriend to go and fight off some gang who killed your business partner. That part is a little crazy.
“Okay, now I’ve gotten myself too drunk,” she laughs. “I’m saying things I don’t mean again. No, Soren is a good guy who has gotten himself into a lot of trouble. He’ll stick by you to the end, though. If you manage to keep him out of trouble, you’ll have the perfect relationship every girl’s dreamed of having.”
“Yeah. We’ll see, I guess. I hope so. Right now, I’m feeling like it might have been too good to be true,” I admit. “I don’t know. It’s just that he keeps so much inside.”
“He’s a tough vault to crack,” she nods. “Though, I really have no idea. He left town when we were so young. But even then, he was the silent type with a plan. Always.”
“I can’t even imagine what he was like back then,” I laugh. “I don’t think I want to.”
“You don’t,” she laughs. “It was cute though.”
I shift in my seat when she says the word “cute.” When she walks into the wine cabinet to grab another bottle, I decide that it’s time to go. This day has been far too weird. If this is what it’s going to be like from here on out, I don’
t think I want to stay in Colorado. I’d rather hike it back to California. I can’t imagine telling Soren that. He’d flip.
Soren. What am I going to do about Soren?
“Hey, I think I’m going to call an Uber or something. I have a ton of work to do and I should be asleep,” I say. “This was so much fun, though! Let’s do it again, okay?”
“Give me a hug,” she says, in a drunken daze. “Call me anytime, okay? You have friends here.” Friends. Real friends. But all I want is Soren. I just want a normal life with the guy I’ve fallen for. Is that too much to ask for?
She walks me out into the dark night and the car arrives within minutes. I wave goodbye and watch as she stumbles into her huge house. The drive home is too long for my comfort and when I’m back inside, I realize just how innocent and lonely my life really is. Small house. Not too many things cluttering my life. I still have some unopened boxes, but I like how simple my life is.
I just like my life. And I like Soren. Fuck it. I love Soren. Soren’s the only damn person I think about. Even my job has made its way to the sidelines. But I want him back. I want him here with me and I want to know that it’s safe, like before. I lay in bed, wishing he would call, but I know that’s not going to happen. Not in a million years.
Soren
“Wake up,” I shake Gabe. “It’s time to go.”
“Shit,” he blinks his eyes open and shoots up in his bed. “Already? I just got to sleep.”
“Bullshit. I just got to sleep,” I laugh. “Seriously, get ready. We’re meeting with the guy in twenty minutes.”
“Twenty,” he sighs. “Jesus. Alright. Give me a second.”
He’s already sleeping in his clothes, so it doesn’t take much. As for me? I have to admit, I took a shower, combed my hair, sprayed on some cologne, and tried to look good. If I’m going to come back to Emma, I want to try and look my best for her, every single day. This trip is going to take a lot out of me, but it’s going to anger her. That much, I know. I need to smooth out some of that roughness before I get back.
“Let’s head out,” he sighs.
We walk down a few blocks and catch the bus. It rolls in near the tracks, near where my shop used to be. It’s going to be weird seeing that place again. Scratch that. I don’t want to see that place again. It holds too much negative weight.
The bus comes to a screeching, grinding halt. We jump off onto the cracked sidewalk. “I’d feel more comfortable if I had a weapon,” he says to me.
“I thought your fists were a weapon,” I say, keeping my eyes out for the Lucky Lucy Bar. It shouldn’t be more than a few blocks from the stop.
“They are, but they don’t stop bullets, do they?” he fires back.
“You’ll just have to think outside of the box,” I say. “Anyway, we’ve come to the conclusion that this guy is safe, right?”
“Right,” he mutters. “But you never do know, do you?”
“I guess not,” I mutter. Frankly, I don’t even want to think about it. If things go wrong, there’s no way out of it. You only dodge bullets one time in your life, if you’re lucky. I did it one time. The next time, I won’t be so lucky. I’ll be draining out in Gabe’s arms.
“There it is,” he points. I look up and it’s the Lucky Lucy Bar, complete with a neon sign pointing inside. “Topless bar?” he asks.
“Dammit. Did this old man bring us to a titty bar?” I ask him.
“I sure did!” a voice says behind us. I turn around and there’s the old man I’ve been speaking to, in the flesh.
“I ain’t going in there,” I tell him.
“It’s safe,” he says. “They don’t come in here because it’s owned by the Lucids, another group from the other side. You think I come here for the women?”
“I don’t know what you do, old man, but I’m in love with a woman back home. I’m not going to step foot in this place. Come on, Gabe. Let’s go,” I turn to Gabe who doesn’t have any morals left in his body. He doesn’t move.
“I’ve got a table in the back VIP room. No women in there. Don’t be such a prude,” he says. “You want to know where The Good Boys are, right?”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “I need to know. I want out of this. For good.”
“Stick with me,” he says, opening the door. The loud music bumps through the single sheet covering the second entrance to the bar room. “You can’t go wrong.” He walks inside
“Fuck,” I sigh, pushing through to catch up with him.
I walk into a club full of naked women, dancing on poles. “Avert your eyes, brother,” Gabe says. “I’ll do all the looking for you.” I groan angrily and follow the old man as he makes his way into the back. Maybe it sounds stupid or childish, but I actually do avert my eyes. I don’t need to be in here now that I’ve found Emma. Every guy I see in my peripheral looks sad and alone. Even if they’re married, they’re still alone. They don’t have what we have. They would never take a bullet for the ones they claim to love. They don’t bear that kind of action.
But I do. I’d do anything for Emma. Anything.
“Sit down,” the man says, as we get inside a room that’s lit up red. He shuts the door behind him and locks it. “Alright, we’re safe now. No need to worry.”
“I’m not worryin’,” I reply.
“Good,” he says. “I’ve got some bad news for you, guys. I didn’t want to come here empty-handed, but things have taken a slight turn for the worse.”
“What do you mean a turn for the worse? What the fuck happened?” I ask him, getting tense.
“Calm down. I’m an old man, as you’ve been saying, and I don’t do too well with men flexing their fists at me,” he says. “Now, do you want to listen or not?”
“We’re listening,” Gabe says, yanking on my shirt. I grumble and look at the floor. “Go on.”
“I’ve been staked out on 10th street for over two weeks now and I’ve finally found where they operate. It’s a whole apartment building, so it’s not all over and done with,” he says. “But there are some definite heads out there looking for you. They want you out of the picture.”
“They’ll never find us,” Gabe says. “We’re all the way out in Colorado. Peaceful Colorado. They would never guess it in a million years.”
“Unless Mr. Grumble over here left some documents, or photos, or anything that implies a living space down there. They’re perceptive, guys. And, look, I’m no idiot either. It’s obvious who I’m dealing with,” he says.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I ask him.
“Gabe Payne, right? The MMA fighter? You think people in these parts don’t watch you? Their whole lives are based around fighting,” he says.
“Shit,” I sigh, clenching my fists.
“If they knew your full name, guy, one Google search would turn up your brother. You live close to each other?” he asks me.
I nod. “Yeah. Close enough,” I say.
“There you go,” he says. “And the top guys haven’t been seen in a about three days. They don’t normally disappear like this. I usually see them out and about. At the deli, at the car wash, at any of their various businesses…”
“At my auto shop,” I mutter.
“Yeah. I’ve seen ‘em there too,” he says. “And that’s what I’m trying to spit out, okay? There was one night a few nights ago. I saw them pulling out a large van. I managed to tail them for a while, but I quickly realize it was a long trip, headed west. Now, maybe they were going to Chicago. Or maybe they were just making a trip down to California. You never know where business will take you. But these guys don’t leave the area. My guess is they’re trying to find you.”
“I witnessed the death of my friend and business partner,” I tell him.
“Not a good position to be in,” he says.
“This is bullshit,” Gabe stands up. “Pure, utter bullshit. You gave us nothing! We came out all this way for nothing!” he screams.
“We should go,” I mutter. I’m so angry I could
punch this brick wall. I might kill this old man if he says one more wrong thing.
“I’m sorry for the dead end, guys. I really am. But I’m just an old man who lost his wife. I wanted to help, but I guess I came up with nothing valuable,” he says.
I jerk up and grab his collar. I force him against the wall. “Why didn’t you just tell me this on the phone, dammit!” I scream.
“They’ve got my home phone tapped,” he says, completely freaked out. “These guys are organized. They aren’t some small street gang. They run most of the blocks down here now. It’s only a matter of time before they take over the city.”
“It’s only a matter of time before I smash your face in,” I grind my teeth. He closes his eyes in fear. I drop him and turn away.
“You’re lying to us,” Gabe says. He turns to me and says, “Tie him up. He’s coming with us.”
Tie him up? Does he think I have rope on me? I grab him and hold his wrists together. I take out a handkerchief from my pocket and tie it around him. It’s pitiful.
“No!” he screams. “You can’t do this. It’s not my fault.”
“Keep talking, old man,” I mutter.
“They made me do it!” he screams. “They made me, okay? They said if I didn’t bring you here, they’d kill me, and the rest of my family. What was I supposed to do?”
“It’s a fucking trap,” I say, searching the room. “They’ll be here any minute.”
I look in the old man’s hands and he’s got his phone out. I take it from him and smash it into pieces. “We need to go,” Gabe says. “Now.”
“Just tell me one truth,” I say to the old man. “Before I kill you.”
“Please,” he says. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”
“Are they coming for me in Colorado?” I ask him. “Tell me that much. You owe it to me, dammit!”
“Yes,” he sighs, starting to cry. “That part is true. But others are coming here. Right now. Run for your lives, dammit!”
I look at him in the eyes. I could kill him if I wanted to, but he looks too fucking pitiful right now, crying like that. He’s just like me in some ways. He’s lost his whole world. Only, he’s old and on the last leg of his life. Why wouldn’t he do what they told him to? Anyone would.