I woke up early, feeling like a total jitbag for bailing on Briggs. My legs and arms were sore from working out, but I decided to revel in the feeling of progress. I ran three very slow, embarrassingly slow, miles. Then, I came back and swam a few laps, hoping to clear my mind and figure out what in the world I was going to do with my life. When I got back in from the pool, I had seven texts.
From Leo:
Sorry Janelle. Have to cancel today. See you tomorrow. Pick you up around 12:00.
From Char:
What the FUCK! Just talked to Briggs! I'm on my way over. Bitch gonna kick ur ass.
From Jocelyn:
Briggs' song to you is plastered all over everything. He is so hot. Who's it gonna be?
From Briggs:
Whatever I did yesterday, I'm sorry.
Can I see you today? I know its Clings day, but need to see you.
Babe can't think about nothing but u
I responded to each of them:
No problem, see you tomorrow. Everything okay? (To Leo)
Don't come over. I'm fine. Talk later? (To Char)
Fuck if I know! FUUUUCCCCKKK!!! (To Jocelyn)
We're good Briggs. We'll talk soon. (To Briggs obviously)
I sat down to watch TV for a while, not knowing what I was going to do with my day since Leo'd cancelled, when there was a crazed, incessant knocking at my door. Lately, everyone had been barging in, so I didn't know who could possibly be respectful and courteous enough to actually use proper unannounced drop-in etiquette, knocking. Was there actually etiquette for someone who came by uninvited?
Opening the door, I was surprised and pleased to see Sarah. Sarah was the best. Despite being a former student, she and I'd become rather close. I enjoyed her company, but mostly, I enjoyed her evolution. She was more evolved than anyone I'd ever met. Sarah was insightful, wise, and clearly more in touch with reality than the rest of the people I normally surrounded myself with. I hugged her immediately, telling her that she was just the remedy for my suck-assy day. Basically, Sarah was a sight for sore eyes.
"I'm glad you're happy to see me," she confessed, "because I need help. Advice. Anything. I'm freaking the fuck out." Okay, now this wasn't her typical demeanor. She was being so girlie.
"What's going on? Sit down," I said, directing her to the chair.
"Can't sit. Losing my mind here," she said, pacing back and forth.
"What? You're killing me," I pleaded. "Tell me."
"Vivian!" she said, referring to her ex-girlfriend, the love of her life, the girl who shattered her heart.
"Okay. Vivian. What about her?" I asked.
"She's here. In town. She just called me. She's staying at the Super 8 Motel," she explained. "Evidently, she's staying in town until I agree to see her…to talk to her."
"That doesn't seem so bad," I claimed.
"It is! It's bad. Real bad," she cried.
"But why? Maybe she came to her senses…maybe she wants—"
"Me! What if she wants me?" she sat, slumping in the chair, covering her face with her hands.
"Well, that'd be good, right?" I asked. Vivian and Sarah had broken up, because Vivian was too terrified to come out to her parents, to let the world know about their relationship.
"I thought, but I don't know," she said. "I finally went out with Melissa, Jasper's executive assistant." I remembered that Jasper had wanted to fix Sarah up with Melissa. Sarah also worked for Jasper, but in a completely different division than Melissa. So according to Jasper, he was not breaking his own rule of "No Fraternizing Between Employees."
"Okay—" cueing her to go on.
"Well, we went out. A lot. I like her. I really like her," she said.
"That's good. Just be honest with Vivian—"
"I can't be honest with Vivian...I can't…because…because…I'm still in love with her," Sarah admitted.
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen. The proverbial love triangle strikes again. I thought that gay relationships were above the ridiculousness of straight relationships and all the turmoil that came with opposite sex love affairs. Guess I was wrong. Sarah was torn between Vivian and Melissa; I was torn between Briggs and Leo. And all of society had a problem with all of it. Fuckers. Racist, homophobic, close-minded fuckers.
"Here's what we're going to do," Char instructed. "Call Vivian, tell her to meet you at Open Minds tonight. We'll all go." Char loved being in charge, figuring everyone else's life out, especially if it meant she was going to get to go out. Open Minds was the hippest gay bar in Cleveland. Char'd been dying to do something "gay" since I hooked up (a little) with Sarah. I knew she loved this excuse to go to Open Minds to open her mind and probably other things too, knowing her. The girl was crazy. Next month, she'd be begging to go to Liberal Liaisons, supposedly Cleveland's only swingers' club. Everyone should have a Char in her life, but you can't take mine.
"But what if—"
"No. No. You're not talking. You're doing," Char said, handing Sarah her iPhone from the coffee table.
"Now you…you're gonna tell Briggs about those bitches in the bathroom," she commanded. "That was just fucking stupid—especially after he sang to you—sang!"
"Yeah Janelle, that was stupid. Why didn't you just tell him then?" Sarah asked. I was surprised that Sarah was defending Briggs, trying to get me to talk to him, confide in him. Sarah was clearly and permanently on Leo's side.
Reflecting back on it now, maybe I had screwed up. Why was life like that? Things always seemed murky and gray, but once you stepped back and truly looked at life, things became so much clearer, crystal clear actually. First of all, I should've told those cunt-rocks to fuck the fuck off, walked out of the bathroom, and relayed the entire story to Briggs, not leaving him in the dark. But I didn't, I did what I did, and now my girls were pissed at me for it. Shocker there, they were always pissed when I made my own fucked up decisions. I know, I know, y'all have been left in that same dark place with Briggs long enough. I need to start shedding some light on what happened in that fucked up bathroom.
I'd gone into the bathroom after having truly the best date I'd ever had in my life.
Hands down, nothing had ever compared to my day and night with Briggs. It was perfection without being ostentatious and over the top. Briggs thought about what we'd like—not what a typical date should be. I liked that. I liked him. I more than liked him.
When he sang to me, I knew for certain that I more than "more than liked" him. (You can take the teacher out of the high school, but you can't take the "high school" out of the teacher.) My heart fluttered as he sang. I watched him strum the guitar and never realized how turned on I could be by watching someone finger the strings of an instrument. Sexually, I wanted him. Emotionally, I had to have him. I'd always liked that Mr. Big song, but once Briggs started singing "To Be With You," it was like I was hearing the lyrics for the first time. Briggs was publicly pleading with me to choose him. When I kissed him on stage, I knew then that I could kiss those same lips for the rest of my life. Honestly, I didn't think about Leo much throughout the day.
When it was time to leave, I knew I wouldn't last long without pouncing on him in the car—if we even made it to the car. I was "wearing my horns" as Char used to say. I decided to go to the bathroom to freshen up and get ready for round two for the day. I went to the restroom and when I came out of my stall, three college-aged girls were standing in front of the sink, blocking me from washing my hands.
"Excuse me," I said, trying to squeeze between them.
One of the girls moved closer to me, cutting me off, preventing me from getting to the sink. I realized then that their tactics were intentional and their behavior was for my benefit and my benefit only.
I tried to conjure my "inner Char" and figure out what she'd do. I looked directly at the girl blocking me, puffed out my chest, and said, "May I please get to the sink to wash my hands?" Okay, so I was no Char. But didn't everyone always say you should "kill 'em with kindness?"
The other girl said, "Bitch's so puny, no meat on her," and she actually poked my stomach. I tried to dodge her hand, but she still shoved her Lee Press-on fake nail into my ribs.
I decided to just use the hand sanitizer I had in my purse, giving up on actually washing my hands. I knew when to pick my fights, and this was certainly not one I was going to come close to winning. I started to walk to the door, when the third girl stood right in front of me.
"Who do you think you are walking away from us?" she asked. "Ya think you're too good for us? Well, I got news for you, princess. You're not woman enough for Briggs Alexander."
"Yeah bitch, he's gonna get sick of the little white girl and come back to where he belongs," the first girl said, turning away from me and looking into the mirror. "And believe me, we'll welcome him back in every way we can. We'll all three welcome him. Because one skinny little white girl is certainly not gonna do it." They all looked at me in disgust, focusing on the tears running down my cheeks.
"Oh look Lana, princess thought she had the fairy tale," she said, laughing.
Lana (apparently) said, "Go find your white horse and your white prince, and stay the fuck out of our world. We got no room for you here." All three of them high-fived as I walked out trying to hide the tears that were soaking my face from Briggs.
Maybe I'm naïve. Maybe I'm sheltered and guarded, but I didn't think people cared about that stuff anymore. Who cared if I was white and Briggs was black? Weren't we over all that racist bullshit? Wasn't this the 21st century? Didn't we as a society have more important things to worry about? When I mentioned all of this to Sarah and Char, they just laughed at me—not much differently than the girls in the bathroom did. Apparently, I've been living under a rose-colored rock, pretending that it rained rainbows, fairies, and unicorns. Sarah still had people who wouldn't accept her, because she was gay. And now, now, I had to deal with people who refused to believe that white people and black people should be together. Char was right. We needed a girls' night out. Badly. Open Minds was the perfect, per-fucked place for us.
"Alright bitch, whatca doing?" Char asked.
I looked at her, smiled, and said, "Shots," as I licked the strange guy's neck, poured salt on his neck, and placed the lemon in his mouth.
Char looked between the two of us, and then said, "No, you're not." Then she licked his neck, did the shot, and sucked the lemon right out of his mouth. She looked at him and said, "Char. What's your name?"
"Jenny," she said smiling and winking at us. Holy fuck. He was a girl. Char smiled and pulled me away. I loved this place, so did she. Open Minds was definitely going to be our new favorite hangout. Jenny. That's great.
"Listen up. Focus." Char instructed. "Are you focused?"
I nodded. Granted, I focused on both of the Chars standing in front of me, but I focused nonetheless. Getting drunk sure cured a lot of my problems. I should probably drink more often.
"Briggs is here," she said.
"YAY! Where?" I could definitely use a little Briggs action right about now.
"As much as I love how much your face just lit up, you should also know that Leo is here too."
Instantly sobering, I said, "What? How?" I definitely needed to stop drinking. Alcohol surely wasn't worth it.
"Okay that would be my fault. I texted Briggs and told him that a horny, drunk Janelle was looking way hot tonight," she confessed. I loved that about Char. She never waited around for me to pull my shit together. Char did it for me. "Well, apparently, Sarah had the same idea…but she texted Leo."
I looked around and started for the exit, but Char grabbed my arm. "You're not going anywhere. There's nowhere to go. I drove." Shit.
This was just perfect. Whenever they were together, things got complicated. Complicateder. Eh, it was summer. I didn't need to talk or think like an English teacher. I knew this was not going to go well. So yeah, complicateder than ever before.
I walked over to where everyone was standing, and tapped Briggs and Leo on the shoulders. Briggs wasted no time turning me around and embracing me. As he hugged me, he lifted me up, hiking my dress up in back. I could feel the air on my ass, not caring who saw or who cared. Immediately, Leo pulled my dress back down and said, "Enough Alexander, this is not your night."
Not letting me go, Briggs said, "You're the dumb fuck who cancelled today; she's free game." Then, Briggs leaned down and kissed me softly on my lips. "Let's dance."
Briggs led me to the dance floor just as the DJ started playing some hot rap song. Alcohol and rap were my biggest aphrodisiacs—even though I never knew or recognized any of the rap artists. Couple them with two hot guys, and I was pretty damn good to go. Briggs turned me around, facing me outward as he pulled me back against him. He wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my neck and ears. My entire body was turning to Jello and heating up simultaneously. The music was getting to me; the lyrics were working their erotic magic, not to mention the eroticism that was up against me. I reached behind me, between us, to ensure that we were both feeling these incredible sensations.
Getting into the music, I had my eyes closed as Briggs controlled our movements, grinding us together on the dance floor. I opened my eyes when I felt something cold on my lips. Surprised to see him in front of me, Leo offered me a chilled bottle of beer. I licked my lips and opened my mouth slightly as he held the bottle and allowed me to sip the beer. Leo watched me, not moving, not reacting to Briggs' arms around me. Leo gave me another drink, and then took the beer and downed it in one long, drawn-out slug, never taking his eyes from mine.
Leo moved in close to me, so close that I was pinned between both of them. Wondering where this could go, where it was going to go, I began to place my arms around his neck, when Leo leaned in and whispered, "I gotta go; I'll see you tomorrow." Then, he kissed me softly on the lips and left, leaving me…leaving me…Sad.
Briggs and I spent the rest of the night on the dance floor. The man could move, and could move well. No wonder he'd hooked up so much in college. It was impossible to be up against him, grinding with him, holding onto him, and not want to fuck the Hell out of him. Twice now, he and I'd been on a dance floor, and I could barely keep myself from publicly mounting him. I was beginning to think I had some exhibitionist tendencies that I never knew I possessed before.
Char, Sarah, Vivian, Briggs, and I closed the bar. It was no big surprise when we looked around and realized the lights were on, and people were sweeping and cleaning up. Char and I were no strangers to the phrase "don't let the door hit ya in the ass." In college, if she wasn't going home with someone, then she was fighting with someone to find out where the "after hours" party was.
Char seemed to have an incredible night. Oddly, she was sober and hadn't hooked up with anyone all night, male or female. I was actually shocked by how many straight men were at the bar. It really was an establishment for open minds, for people who didn't give two ferocious fucks what anyone else was doing. A few guys approached her, slowly, I assumed trying to get a clearer picture of her sexual preference. But for the first time since I'd known Char, she wasn't all over someone on the dance floor, making Cinemax look like a Disney film. She just danced with Vivian and Sarah most of the night. When it was obvious that they needed some alone time, Char sat at the bar, chatting up the drag queen bartender.
Briggs wanted to take me home, but Char refused to let him, claiming that he'd already taken enough of our girls' night, forgetting that he was only there at her initial request. When she told him that we still had a date with Denny's, he begged to go along with us. Char again rebuffed his pleas. Char said that "Moons-over-my-Hammies" were a girls-only kind of thing. Briggs just stared at her and shrugged his shoulders. Even though she clearly wanted him gone, it didn't stop her from shoving me into him to give him "a proper goodbye." Char would stop at nothing to get her way. Char wanted me with Briggs, and she had no qualms about
making that abundantly obvious to anyone around.
"Tell me this is some foul disgusting joke," Vivian begged.
"Nope, so wish it were," I said, taking a bite out of my sandwich. "It was the first blow job I'd ever given, and he blew it right in my hair. I had a giant cum ball wadded up in my pony tail. Re-fucking-pulsive!"
"No thank you," Sarah said, glancing over at Vivian, who nodded in agreement.
"Ask Char about her high school boyfriend," I prompted.
"Dude used to come in a cup," Char stated matter-of-factly, not missing a beat.
"He what?" Sarah asked, eyes wide.
"I don't know. He'd pull out and finish in a Styrofoam cup," Char said, shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders. She'd told this story so many times since I'd met her that it didn't faze her at all anymore. "Used to say that he wanted to make sure it was all in there and not inside me. I never could figure why a condom wouldn't prove that. Who knows, maybe he drank it after I left."
"Ewwwww"
"Oooohhhh"
"Gross."
We'd been talking for two hours; it was nearly 5:00 in the morning. I loved Vivian. I wanted to hate her, wanted to kill her in her sleep, and stomp on her vicious friend-hurting heart. But, she was great. How could I've not known that? There was no way that Sarah would fall for someone less than extraordinary.
Vivian was amazing, and extremely gorgeous. Her jet-black hair was cut short, just brushing her shoulders, in a blunt, all one-length bob. She had that beautiful pale porcelain skin that's just flawless. Vivian's eyes were the darkest brown I'd ever seen. She was tall, statuesque, and incredibly fit. No wonder Sarah couldn't get her out her mind. She was stunning. I couldn't get her out of my mind. Their contrasts complemented each other. Sarah's red hair and adorable, petite, daintiness were the perfect fit for Vivian's breathtaking beauty.
The Final Lesson Plan Page 12