by S. J. Bishop
I moaned softly, turning over so that I could hide my face in a pillow. “What time is it?” I grumbled, refusing to believe that it was already morning.
Emil did not answer me. Instead, he started to kiss and suckle the side of my neck, his hands already venturing along my naked body.
Before he could find my pussy, I pulled away, rolling out of the bed. Quickly, I got dressed.
“Where’s the fire?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbow.
“Kimmy’s going to be late for school…” I mumbled, thinking it was a viable excuse.
“It’s Saturday,” he said with a smirk. “Now, get your ass back in this bed.”
“No. I have things to do.”
“Like what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow in my direction. “Don’t tell me you work on Saturdays.”
“Yes.”
He groaned. “Does that mean I have to work as well?”
“Yes.”
He groaned even louder. “I’m starting to think I should have taken my chances at the prison. This is starting to become slave-labor.”
I didn’t bother to answer him, slipping out of the door and into the kitchen. The guilt had wrapped around my spine, making me numb. Why had I been stupid enough to sleep with him?
Thank God I was on birth control… If I hadn’t been…
I shook my head, not even wanting to think about what would have happened. No doubt, I would have ended up just like Stacey. Abandoned and alone for the second time. I couldn’t go through that again.
While I was in the kitchen, I heard the soft sound of pitter-pattering feet. Kimmy came up behind me and gave me a great big hug. “Can I have pancakes for breakfast?” she asked as sweetly as possible.
“Not today, honey. Mommy isn’t feeling good.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing, sweetie. Just a headache.”
In response, she tugged on my shirt until I was bent over. Ever so gently, she kissed the top of my head. “There! All better!” She giggled.
“Thank you.” I ruffled her hair. “Are you okay with some cereal?”
She nodded.
So I poured her a bowl and set it in front of her. As she ate, I made myself a cup of black coffee, hoping that it would calm my nerves.
Before I could take a sip, Emil appeared and kissed the top of my head. “I don’t believe you have a headache, but I’ll kiss it better all the same,” he whispered, squeezing my hand.
I looked up at him for just a moment, and even in that brief instant, it was obvious that he could see right through my façade. It made me feel vulnerable. Quickly, I looked away, biting the inside of my lip. Still, I watched as he grabbed an apple and munched on it, sitting across from Kimmy. They began to have a conversation about which Power Ranger was the best. Kimmy was very adamant about her choice, but so was Emil.
My stomach tightened. I was caught in a turmoil. A part of me wanted to go for it, to forget about Emil’s past and accept him for who he was, but at the same time, how could I commit myself to a relationship where I knew what he had done to another woman? I wasn’t making that mistake again.
“Mommy, who’s your favorite Power Ranger?”
“Huh?” I blinked at my daughter, my mind elsewhere.
“The pink one or the yellow one?”
“Um…” I was confused by the question, my mind so hazy that I could barely think straight. I had watched the show so many times, but I couldn’t recall the personality of either character. “Um… yellow,” I said, taking a stab in the dark. I prayed that was Kimmy’s choice.
She burst into a squeal of giggles. “See?! I told you so!” she boasted, nearly spilling her bowl of cereal.
“Careful,” I warned.
“Sorry.” She quickly sat back down. “But… I told you so, Emil,” she whispered excitedly.
He chuckled. “I guess you’re right. Mommy knows best, doesn’t she?”
Kimmy nodded enthusiastically. “Yup!”
In that moment, I wish I had her confidence. I was so torn that I had no idea how to proceed. Maybe the best course of action would be to call Cruz and ask him for a change of assignment. That way, I wouldn’t be so tempted by the attractive man who now lived with me. Let someone else deal with him.
But even as the thought came to mind, I knew I wouldn’t do it.
I couldn’t let anyone else have him.
17
Emil
There was definitely something off about Cassandra. She seemed tense, and she was avoiding eye contact with me.
It nagged at me. I’d wanted to question her about it, but Kimmy had quickly claimed my attention as soon as I’d walked into the kitchen. Hopefully, it was nothing. Maybe she really did have a headache. But deep down, I knew that was just a lie she had told her daughter to avoid the truth.
Something was wrong.
“Now, Kimmy, Mommy and Emil need to go to work today.”
She pouted. “But it’s Saturday!”
“I know, honey, but it’s important.” Cassandra smoothed back Kimmy’s hair. “Sally is going to come over and take care of you, okay?”
“But… I’m going to miss you,” she protested. Kimmy took after her mother, for sure. Already, she was quite the little manipulator.
“I’m going to miss you, too, pumpkin. But I tell you what – we can play all you want tomorrow, okay?”
“Do you promise?”
Cassandra nodded.
“Pinky promise?” she asked, holding out her smallest finger. “Or it doesn’t count.”
“Okay.” Cassandra hooked their pinkies together before kissing her daughter’s forehead. “But you must promise to be a good girl, alright?”
She nodded.
Cassandra then turned to me. “Are you ready?”
“Shouldn’t we… shower first?” I suggested, knowing that we were probably both a little sticky from our time together.
Kimmy tilted her head, her eyebrows furrowed.
Cassandra didn’t bother with a response. Instead, she walked out of the kitchen, her cheeks red.
I followed after her, thinking we could shower together, but she had already locked the door. I knocked, but there was no answer.
She was definitely avoiding me.
Could it be that she regretted what we had done?
I should have expected as much. But for some reason, I’d thought that maybe she’d be different – that she’d see me as a normal guy instead of as an ex-criminal. I guess I’d been wrong. I had poured my heart out to her, and still, she doubted me. Why had I even bothered? I ground my teeth together in anger and slumped onto the couch, waiting for her to emerge.
As I did so, my phone buzzed from within my pocket. I pulled it out, recognizing the number that flashed across the screen.
Mavis.
VanGuard had been smart enough to let me keep my phone, knowing it was a vital tool that would help me maintain my connections. The only problem was that everything was monitored. Even if I wanted to make some much-needed phone calls, I was helpless to do so. The thing that pissed me off the most was that Ned, Stacey’s new lover, was the one overseeing my surveillance. How ironic was that?
69th. 5 PM sharp. Don’t be late. 20 Kilos.
I read the text and sighed. This was exactly what VanGuard wanted. A drug bust. But I wasn’t sure. Doing so would make me the biggest rat in the city. I would be a marked man. I’d have enemies enough to drown in. Not exactly the ideal situation.
Okay, I texted back.
What else was I supposed to do?
We arrived at the industrial zone almost an hour early, sitting in Cassandra’s car, just waiting for the scheduled time.
The air around us was suffocating.
Neither one of us had spoken a word about what had happened last night. Still, I held my ground, waiting for her to make the first move.
She remained quiet.
The silence thickened.
Fuck this.
“You know, if you hated the sex, you can just tell me,” I spat out.
For the first time, she turned to look at me, blinking like she had just realized I was still there.
“I can’t stand you being all pouty. So just come out and tell me what the hell I did wrong.”
She bit her lip.
I grew even more frustrated with her.
The silence dragged on.
My temper rose.
“I...” she stammered, struggling with the words.
My nostrils flared as I breathed in deep. Relax, Emil, I told myself, trying to keep a level head. There was probably an explanation. Probably a half-assed one but one nonetheless. I just didn’t like to be kept waiting.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she finally admitted.
“Then why the hell are you treating me like I’m some sort of disgusting pest you can’t be bothered to look at?”
Her eyes widened at my words. “I don’t think that…”
“Don’t lie to me, Cassandra.”
“Look. I’m just not sure if I made the right decision is all.”
“So you regret sleeping with me.”
She didn’t answer.
“I should have known,” I growled. “I knew that it was too good to be true, but I thought that maybe you actually meant what you said. Guess I was wrong.”
“I did mean what I said,” she protested. “I just… don’t know if you’re the right man for me.”
“Of course you don’t,” I snapped. “Why would I be? I’m just some low-life criminal, right?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Whatever.” I snorted. “It’s almost five anyway. Let’s just get this over with.”
“Wait.”
“What?”
“I need to lay down some ground rules before we go…” she said almost timidly. “Cruz’s orders.”
I laughed. “Alright.” I sat back, waiting for the ridiculous slew of rules I’d have to follow. I was nothing more than a trained monkey to them. If I had been smarter, I would have gone with the prison option. Yet, here I was, being made a fool.
“So essentially, don’t try anything.”
“You really do think I’m stupid, don’t you? I have a fucking ankle monitor. What the hell am I going to do? You’ll just find me and drag me back to this hell.”
She frowned. “Alright… I think we can skip the rules then. It doesn’t matter.” The usual blaze in her green eyes had vanished. Now, they were dull and painted with regret.
Well, who cared?
In the end, I’d just end up alone.
18
Cassandra
Who are you texting?” I asked, looking over at him.
“Just telling Mavis I’m on my way. Why? Is that a problem?” He thrust the phone into my face. “If you don’t trust me, you can see for yourself. As much as you suspect me, I have nothing to hide.”
I frowned. I felt horrible. I wanted to take it all back and return to how things had been while we were in the midst of our intimacy, but I knew that at this point, that was impossible. I had burned that bridge, and it would be nearly impossible to rebuild it.
“Alright, we might as well head out.”
“Hmph” was all he responded as he stepped out of the car. With his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, he headed toward the appointed pick-up location.
“So, what am I supposed to expect?”
“Just follow my lead, and everything will be okay.”
“Emil.”
But he didn’t even bother to look at me, just kept up his pace.
I sighed, having no other choice but to go after him.
We walked for a while, weaving through the streets, before we arrived at a tiny little building. It was constructed out of the same type of stone as all of the others but was way too small to be an industrial building. On the door were faded gold numbers: 6-9.
“Here we are,” Emil announced. “Remember, as much as you hate the idea, here, you’re my girlfriend.”
Before I could respond, he took my hand and pulled me forward. Without an ounce of hesitation, he turned the knob. The door opened with an ominous creek that made me shiver.
Still, we stepped into the darkness. As soon as it was impossible to see, Emil let go of my hand.
I turned quickly, trying to figure out what was going on, but all of a sudden, someone had their hand pressed against my mouth. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but the sound was muffled by the thickness of the chloroform-soaked cloth. Already, my mind was getting hazy. Nonetheless, I tried to fight, putting all of my strength into ramming my elbow into my attacker. I made contact, but it seemed to have no effect.
As I faded into unconscious, there was only one thought on my mind: Where was Emil?
When I woke up, it felt like I had taken a sledgehammer to the side of the head. I groaned, about to rub my temples when I discovered that my hands were tied behind my back. Not only that, but my ankles were also tied.
It didn’t help that I was also blindfolded.
Fuck, what had I gotten myself into?
I wiggled, trying to free myself from some element of my bondage, but it was helpless. Growing breathless, I stopped to regain my strength. As I did so, I became aware of the sways and tumbles of a moving car.
So that’s where I was.
I felt the leather seats with my fingers and managed to somehow sit myself up, my chest heaving with the effort.
“So glad you could join us,” came a deep female voice. A second later, the blindfold was snatched from my face as long, sharp fingernails scratched the surface of my skin.
I blinked, my vision clearing.
“What the fuck?” I spat. “Emil? What the hell are you doing?”
I couldn’t believe it.
In front of me, a black-haired woman was driving my car. Her exposed arm was covered in tattoos, her nails looking like red talons. Beside her sat Emil, a nonchalant look on his face.
“Emil. Fucking answer me!”
He didn’t say a word.
The woman laughed. “She really is a feisty one, isn’t she? I’ll have my fun with her. It’s been such a long time since I got to play with a girl.”
What the hell was this woman talking about? She sounded insane.
A tinge of fear crept under my skin, making my muscles tense. I breathed in deep, determined to keep a level head. I had been through way worse than this – this was mere child’s play as far as I was concerned.
“But you know, Emil, you have horrible taste in women.”
“Tell me about it,” he answered in a gruff voice. “I’m starting to wonder if they aren’t all the same.”
The woman grinned. Her hand rested on his thigh, giving it a firm squeeze.
Despite the situation, I felt jealousy surge inside of me, making it hard to breathe.
“What the hell is going on here?”
“She sure talks a lot,” the woman remarked.
“Oh, I know.”
“Haven’t found a way to shut her up yet?” she asked.
“Why? I know you’re going to make her sing tonight, Roxie.” He smirked deviously, his smoldering eyes turning deadly.
I gulped. Okay, maybe I had gotten myself into a bad situation.
But Emil was still wearing his tracking device. The team would know something had gone awry, wouldn’t they? Or would they only find out when it was too late?
I pushed the thought from my mind, knowing that if I allowed myself to dwell on it, I would surely drive myself insane.
“So, to answer some of your questions, you’re here because Emil decided to betray you in return for his own freedom,” Roxanne smirked, her red lips sinister.
“Is that true…?” I asked, unable to believe that he would do this to me.
Had he been planning this all along?
No.
He wouldn’t.
Would he?
Why wasn’t he saying anything?
/> To further her point, Roxanne held up his ankle bracelet with one finger. It had stopped blinking.
Fuck.
There went my hope that VanGuard would find us.
Now, I was all on my own.
“It’s funny that you thought you could trust someone like Emil. He’s the best damn mercenary in London. He’s faithful to no one, except the banknote. Isn’t that right, Emil?”
He didn’t respond.
19
Emil
We drove straight to the airport. The closer we got, the tighter the knot in my stomach became. In the back of my mind, I was starting to have second thoughts.
Was I doing the right thing?
Did Cassandra deserve this?
Probably not.
But I also didn’t deserve to be treated like a monster.
So I gulped down my guilt, focusing on the blur of trees beyond the window. This was my chance. I’d get on that plane, and I’d be able to start a new life. A fresh start. That’s all I’d ever wanted.
“Why are you doing this…?” Cassandra whispered, looking at me through the rearview mirror. “Emil, don’t ignore me.”
The fear laced into her voice nearly destroyed my resolve.
This wasn’t right.
There had to be another way.
Maybe, if I played my cards right, I could prove myself to VanGuard.
No.
My fists tensed. That would never work. I’d always be a criminal in their eyes. Even Cassandra was afraid of getting too close. She’d never be able to see me as someone worth her trust – her love. My jaw locked at the thought. I had been such a fool to even imagine that a relationship between us could ever work. Not even in a million years.
Well, fuck her. Fuck VanGuard. And fuck London.
Good riddance.
In the blink of an eye, we reached the airport. Roxanne veered into the drop off lane. “Well, here we are. How does it feel, my old friend?” She rested a hand on my shoulder, her sharp nails digging into my skin. “Don’t make me regret this. You’ve betrayed others, but I’ll warn you now that unless you have a death wish, you shouldn’t even think of crossing me. Got it?” She smiled, her features pleasant but her words venomous.