by Kady Hunt
“Call 911!” Jamie screams and I take out my phone with my shaking hands and dial the number but I’m not even sure if it’s real or just a dream.
21.
JAMIE
I’m standing outside of Holden’s intensive care room, watching all those machines helping Holden breathe and I still can’t tell if it’s all just a bad dream.
“It’s all because of you,” Mrs. Danvers says to me. “If he hadn’t come to see you in that rotten neighborhood my baby wouldn’t have gotten shot!”
“Leave her alone,” Daniel says. “We’ve all had a rough night. Your baby doesn’t live in a vacuum you know? We’re his friends. Jamie is his girlfriend.”
“She’s a whore,” Mrs. Danvers replies and goes back inside the room.
I go to sit next to Daniel in the waiting room. “So,” I say. “The mother…who barely sees her son gets to be in there. And we, the people who actually spend time with him, have to wait outside?”
“Thems the breaks,” Daniel says. And then, “how’re you holdin’ up?”
“I’m not the one with the bullet inside me, Daniel.”
“Look,” Daniel says. “You’re mad at me. You have every right to be. But I was drunk; I didn’t know what I was doing. I made a mistake.”
“I’m not so sure it was a mistake, Daniel.”
“You think I did that on purpose?” he says. “Hurt and betray two of my best friends? One of the few people that I actually give a shit about?”
“I don’t know anymore, to be honest.”
“You don’t know anymore?” he looks hurt. “If you’re trying to hurt me, you just did it, Jamie. Congratulations.”
What am I doing?
It’s not his fault Holden is in there.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I think I might be stressed out.”
“You think I’m not?”
“I know you are.”
“I’m already trying to convince Holden, I’m still his friend, please don’t make me convince you too.”
“Daniel,” I say. “We are friends. And you don’t have to convince me of anything. Its okay, we all make mistakes. And I was totally freaking out when he got shot. You were the one who was actually able to use his brain so we could help him.”
From one side, I see Teague, Mia and Sebastian coming towards us. We get up to greet them one by one. “So,” Teague asks. “What’s the deal?”
“Well he’s stable now,” Daniel says. “But they’re keeping him under observation for some time, just to be sure.”
“Mrs. Danvers is in there?” Teague says, and waves at her through the glass. She gives a tiny wave in response.
“I’ll go see Holden,” Teague says, and goes straight in. I see Mrs. Danvers getting up and Teague giving her a kiss on the cheek and the hugging her and she totally does the whole broken mother act.
“How come he gets to go in?” I ask.
“Cause Mrs. Danvers actually likes him,” Daniel says. “And because Teague’s father and Mrs. Danvers are business partners.”
I look up at Mia. “Why didn’t you go in with him?”
“Oh,” Mia says and grabs a chair next to me. “That bitch doesn’t like me either.”
“What about you Sebastian?” I ask, when I see Sebastian watching Holden from outside.
“I think I’ll stay here,” Sebastian says.
“Let me guess,” I say as a joke. “She doesn’t like you.”
“No,” Sebastian says. “That’s not it.”
Mia and Daniel burst out laughing.
“What?” I look at them, completely clueless.
Mia answers for everyone. “Let’s just say that Mrs. Danvers likes Sebastian a bit too much.”
As much as I don’t want to laugh, I have to admit it’s a little funny.
Oh, who am I kidding? This is hilarious.
When we all start laughing, everyone is looking at us so we stop.
We’re still snickering when Teague comes out.
“We have to find out who did this,” he says.
“Hey,” Mia goes up to him and tries to calm him down. “I know you’re worried but don’t do anything you’ll regret, Teague.”
“I’m not going to regret it,” Teague says and storms out.
“I should probably go make sure he doesn’t light someone on fire,” Mia says and leaves with him.
That just leaves the three of us.
I want so badly to go inside and be close to Holden but I know she won’t let me near him. I’m sure Daniel feels the same way, helpless.
It’s just not fair.
“Hey, you!” Mrs. Danvers says, and I must have dozed off because I don’t remember her coming out of the room.
I look around and Daniel and Sebastian are both looking at me.
“Yeah you,” she points rudely at me. “You can sit with him if you want.”
I glance once at Daniel and he nods.
So I get up.
I go over to Holden’s bed.
He looks weak and sick and it makes me cry.
All I want is for him to open his eyes and talk to me.
So I can hear his voice again.
So he can tell me he still loves me.
“You really care for him, don’t you?” Mrs. Danvers asks.
“That’s not the reason you brought me in here,” I say. “So go on. What is it you want to insult me about this time? Just get it out of your system already.”
“Daniel told me you’ve decided to keep the baby. Is that true?”
I let out a big sigh. “I haven’t made a decision yet.”
“You even know what it’s like to have a kid?” she says. “I know you think it’s all rainbows and unicorns but it’s not. I had Holden when I was your age. His father abandoned me, broke, with ten bucks and a few quarters in my pocket. You think you know broke? Well you don’t know broke until you’re carrying your newborn child and your newly C-sectioned body on the road with nowhere to go. My parents cut ties with me when I decided to have the baby and marry Holden’s father, but I swallowed my pride and went to them for help. You know what they did? My mother handed me a hundred bucks and told me to leave them alone. I would have died, and my baby would have died, if it wasn’t for Mr. Danvers. He was driving by looking for a prostitute when he saw me. I don’t know if he saw something in me, or if he was overcome by pity for me, but he stopped and told me to get in. All the time I was with him, he used me. He wanted me to do all those dirty things for him and in return he would be nice to my baby, he would give us money and a mansion to stay in. Over time, he changed. He was thirty years older than me, so he started getting sick and I used to look after him. But despite all his faults, he provided for me. And he was nice to my son. He gave my son his name, so no one would know that Holden was some kid from the streets. He sent Holden to the best schools, set up a trust-fund for him—so if he cheated on me, or treated me shabbily, I never said anything. Every dream I had, every hope, I had to give it up so Holden wouldn’t have to go through what I went through.”
“Mrs. Danvers…I’m so sorry—”
But she puts up a hand to shut me up. “Moral of the story, Jamie. You don’t know how hard it is to raise a child until you have one. And then you have no choice. I was lucky, I found someone like Edmond to take me in, even if he was a jerk to me most of our married life. You might not be so lucky.”
She flicks away the tears that have accumulated in her eyes and goes back to being herself again. I know, because the room goes cold with her presence.
“Jamie?”
I turn to Holden and see that his eyes are open.
I hold his hand. “Holden,” I say, and tears start falling that I want to control but I can’t. I still try to smile. “I’m here, baby. I’m right here. You’re going to be okay.”
“Jamie,” he says. “I love you.”
But I don’t know if it’s just the drugs talking.
“I love you too, Holden.”
I
kiss his hand, lightly, careful not to mess with the IVs attached to it.
“Did you…tell mom?”
“She’s here…” I say but when I turn to look at her, she’s not in the room.
“She might have gone out for a bit,” I say. “She’ll be back.”
“Okay,” Holden says and closes his eyes, goes back to sleep.
I’m about to sit on the chair next to the bed when I feel his fingers grabbing my hand. His hold is tight for how weak he is.
“Don’t leave me, Jamie.”
22.
HOLDEN
Waking up in a hospital is worse than you’d expect.
They don’t let you sleep because nurses will always be coming in to draw more blood or give you more meds or take your vitals and then there’s all the relatives and mother’s friends that you don’t even like, but now you have no choice but to listen to their diatribes about who should win the election and whether toilet paper is the truly the best invention of this century.
Worse still is when my mother tries to make them all happy instead of making me happy and kicking them out of my room.
Thank God for visiting hours.
At least I can find some solace in the fact that they’re going to leave eventually.
“Where’s Jamie?” I ask when the last of the relatives have left.
“She’s gone to get us all coffee,” Daniel says. He’s been standing to one side of the room all this time, and I don’t know what to say to him. Of course I’m still angry. I’m angry that he put me in a situation where I had to hate him and even mistrust Jamie.
My mom leaves the minute Jamie enters with the coffee.
Jamie hands out the coffee to everyone and comes to sit next to me on the bed. “How’re you feeling now, babe?” she asks.
“Better,” I lie.
“So,” Teague speaks up. “Are we going to talk about the giant elephant in the room or what?”
“What’re you talking about?” I say.
“Daniel tried to kiss your girlfriend,” Teague says. Everyone else sort of looks at him like they’re going to throw punches when they catch him outside of this room but he doesn’t let that stop him. “People make mistakes, Holden! Get the fuck over it!”
“Teague,” Sebastian says. “This is none of our business.”
“Are we not their friends?” Teague says to the whole room. “Then it is our business.”
“Teague!” Mia says. “You need to learn to shut up!”
“No Mia,” I say. “He’s right. We’ve been through worse, right?” I turn to Daniel. “Were you really drunk and stupid?”
Daniel looks embarrassed. “I had more than half a bottle of tequila.”
“Well, I say that qualifies for drunk and stupid,” Teague says. “Now go on. Kiss and makeup, won’t you? The people need some action!”
If it wasn’t for the pain I would be laughing. I got the stitches out yesterday so there’s no risk of getting them ripped but it’s still pretty painful. “Make me stop, please!”
“Teague!” Jamie yells. “Holden, are you okay? Do you want me to call the doctor?”
“No,” I say. “I just thought of Sebastian having sex. I think that did it.”
“Ha-ha,” Sebastian says. “Daniel kissed your girlfriend!”
“Look at you Sebastian,” I say. “Standing up for yourself and what not!”
“Holden,” Daniel says. “I’m sorry.”
I nod. “Apology accepted.”
“Good,” Teague says. “Now let’s NEVER speak of this again!”
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” I say to Daniel. “Did you get a look at that guy?”
“He was on a motorcycle,” Daniel says. “Too dark and too heavily raining for me to see anything. I don’t think he even had license plates; it was just a whole medley of black on black—black helmet, black motorcycle, black jacket. I thought his motorcycle was cool, until I saw what he was doing, but he had already fired the shots by the time I realized what was going on.”
“So,” I say. “I think it’s safe to assume our friend Mr. Harlow must have something to do with it.”
“Could be a coincidence,” Mia says. “I mean you were in Brooklyn after all. No offense, Jamie.”
“Just because you said ‘no offense,’ doesn’t make it any less offensive,” Daniel says.
“It’s okay,” Jamie says. “I’m used to it. It’s no big deal.”
“Look,” I say. “If that Vegas incident taught us anything, it was that there is no such thing as coincidence. Some guy came out of nowhere, shot me? Not Daniel, not the people who were walking on his side of the street, but me.”
“He’s right,” Teague says. “But why would anyone want to kill you?”
“Why would anyone want to drug us?” I say.
“God, when I catch this bastard,” Teague says. “He’s going to pay.”
“You will do no such thing,” I say. “We’ll let the cops handle this one.”
“But that’s boring,” Teague says.
I feel tired.
The wound is starting to hurt again.
“Guys,” I say, leaning my head against the pillow. “I need some rest.”
They all get up and say their goodbyes, and Jamie stays behind. “Are you alright?” she asks when they’re gone.
“Yeah,” I say. “Just tired.” I grab her arm and pull her towards me so I can kiss her. “I taste like antiseptic, don’t I?”
She laughs. “No,” she says. “You taste like you’ve recently been shot.”
“I’m glad you decided to stick around,” I say.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know. I thought I lost you that day.”
“Well,” she says. “I thought I lost you too.”
“And I’m sorry about what I said before,” I tell her. “The truth is there’s no one in the world I trust more than I trust you. I don’t know why, but I know you’re not going to lie to me. But I’m still a little hurt that you didn’t think I could handle the whole pregnancy thing.”
“Well,” she says. “How are you handling it?”
“Totally freaking out.”
“See? This is why I didn’t tell you!”
“Jamie, wait. Let me finish. Yes, I’m freaking the fuck out, okay? Because you’re pregnant with our baby. But you were freaking out too, weren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“So what? Let me freak out. I don’t want you to stop telling me stuff because you think it’s going to be a burden or because you think I’m going to freak out.”
She nods. “Okay. And I’m sorry; I know I should have told you.”
“If I ask you something,” I say. “Do you promise not to freak out?”
She nods again. “Sure.”
“There’s still time, right?” I say. “To make a decision? It’s not a now or never situation at the moment?”
“Yes, there’s time.”
“Okay,” I say. “Let’s get me out of the hospital and then we’ll deal with…that. But whatever decision we make, it’s going to be from both of us. Is that understood?”
“Okay.”
“Jamie? Is that understood?”
“Yes! Okay!” She kisses me again. “Now get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You’re not staying the night?”
“Your mother is.”
“Right.”
“I could stay if you want.”
“No, babe. It’s fine. I’m better now.”
“Okay,” she says. “Take care.”
I think about her leaving and it feels empty. I hate the way that feels. I’ve gotten so used to having her around all the time; it’s starting to become an addiction. “Who’s driving you home?” I ask.
“Daniel is,” she says.
“Is he still around?”
“Yeah. He said he would wait outside for me. Why? You don’t mind that I’m going with him, do you?”
“No, of course not
. I just…need to talk to him.”
“Sure,” Jamie smiles and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll send him in.”
“Hey,” Daniel says, the minute he enters. “Jamie said you wanted to talk.”
“Here’s the thing about Jamie,” I say. “She’s sweet. She only sees the good in people. Me on the other hand, not so much. I’ve had it with your shit, Daniel. If you so much as go near her again, we will have a problem.”
“What about you forgiving me in front of everyone just now?” Daniel says. “Was that all for show?”
“Yes, it was all for show! Couldn’t you tell?”
“Wow,” he says. “You must be really good at lying, Holden.”
“You try to kiss my girlfriend and I’m the liar? You can’t possibly tell me it was the first time you felt something for her! Obviously you’ve been pining for her for a while now. You managed to keep that a secret!”
“I can’t really help the way I feel, Holden.”
“Look Daniel,” I say. “I’m not looking for an apology or a rationalization, I’m sure you can come up with plenty. I just can’t trust you anymore. Especially around her. So it’s better if you keep your distance.”
“You know she’s not your property, right?” Daniel says. “And neither am I. You can’t tell me to stay away from her.”
“She’s my girlfriend, Daniel. She’s pregnant with my baby. Don’t you get it? It doesn’t matter how hard you try to get on her good side, she’s never going to leave me for you. It’s never going to happen and you know that.”
Jamie opens the door and peeks in. “Everything okay?” she asks. “I kind of need to get home, I have to go to my new job tomorrow.”
“We were just about done,” Daniel says, stepping away from the bed but he never loses eye contact with me. He gives me a smile. “Right, Holden?”
“Bye, Holden!” Jamie says. “I will see you tomorrow!”
“I’m sure Holden will be fine,” Daniel says. “After all Mrs. Danvers is here for him. And the nursing staff of this hospital is pretty amazing.”
He leaves the room with Jamie and the door closes.