by Sam Crescent
“The scent of burning flesh, Dawn. You tested the liquid with your finger. It’s not completely burnt, yet you had a scald that has now disappeared. Tell me why you didn’t call or scream.”
“I’m a wolf. My pain is different from others’.”
“Wolves scream at burns, broken bones, even the pain from the way I bit you last night.”
She swallowed around the lump in her throat.
“I don’t know why,” she said, rubbing her hands down her thighs. “I really don’t know why, Sir.”
Staring down at her finger, she was curious as to why she didn’t call out. Her lack of attention had brought her secret to his attention.
It’s because you crave pain that you can’t feel. You’re sick, twisted, and need to feel pain.
Tears filled Dawn’s eyes as she looked up at Daniel. “Do I repulse you?”
Chapter Six
Going to his knees before her, Daniel stared into her eyes seeing the fear shining within her depths. How long had she been hiding this inability to feel pain? Congenital Analgesia was very rare in wolves, but Daniel had heard of certain cases where wolves were tormented or physically abused during their transition. Around a wolf’s eighteenth birthday they went through the transition that rewired their brain to connect to their wolves. The problem with this condition was in wolves it was harder to treat. He stared down at her finger seeing it had already healed.
Wolves hid it away, and he understood why as he’d also heard of packs using wolves with Congenital Analgesia to fight to the death. They didn’t need to stop even with broken bones as they didn’t feel it. Cupping Dawn’s head, he tilted her head back and slammed his lips down on hers. There was so much going on in that head of hers that he didn’t have the first clue where to start. For the last year she’d been hiding this from him. Had she been hunting pain in the hope of finding it? He should have seen it. Whenever he spanked her, she’d made all the right noises, but it was lies.
Sliding his tongue along her lips, he plundered her mouth tasting her.
His wolf pounced wanting out, to mark his woman and to prove to her they didn’t hate her. They were in love with her.
Down.
No, we have to claim her. She’s hurting. We need to prove to her it doesn’t matter. She needs us.
Not now.
Dawn needed them to be stable around her. He withdrew, dropping a kiss on her nose. “Baby, I’m never repulsed by you. I’m curious about what’s happened in your life.”
“Surely you can’t feel too much of a burn.”
He licked his lips, wondering what to say. “No, Dawn. I can’t stick my finger into steaming coffee without it hurting. Last night, I bit down on your nipples pretty hard. Did you feel it?” he asked.
“It was nice. My breasts are sensitive.”
Daniel moved his hands down to cup her breasts. He saw the outline of the bruises. On her dark skin it was harder to see the bruises, but they were there. He ran a thumb over the tips, and she gasped.
“Sensitive, Sir,” she said.
Nodding, Daniel sat back and stared at her body. He needed to talk with a professional, and the only person he knew was a doctor.
“Go into the sitting room. I’m going to finish cleaning the dishes. I want you to kneel beside the coffee table and present to me.” She got to her feet, and he caught her wrist before she could leave. “This is not a punishment, Dawn.” He pressed her hand to his cock. “I want you. I’m not repulsed by you, but I’m concerned like any other mate would be.”
“There’s nothing to be concerned about, Sir.” She dropped her head showing her submission.
“Let me be the judge of that.” He placed a kiss to her head, inhaling her scent.
Daniel watched her leave, pulling out his cell phone. He left the house, going out the door that led into the garden. Dialing Jake’s number, he waited for his friend to answer his call.
“Hello,” Jake said, groaning.
“It’s nearly eight. Why are you still in bed?”
“Well, my alpha kicked my ass out of the house and I don’t need to worry about getting up early.”
He laughed. “I need you to get the Doc here.”
“What did you do?” Jake asked. All the sounds of sleep disappeared from his voice. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” He looked through the kitchen. “Dawn’s not okay, and no, I didn’t do anything. I think something happened to her during the transition.”
“What?”
“Dawn can’t feel pain.”
“How is that possible?” Jake asked. “You’ve been spanking her for the last year. Surely you would have seen something by now.”
He heard sounds over the line and imagined his friend moving around. “I missed this. I don’t know how it happened, but I gave her a coffee this morning. It was steaming, Jake, and she drank it down as if it was cold. When I asked her about it she told me she always drank hot liquids.”
“That’s not so strange.”
“She put her finger inside the cup. Her skin burned, and not a sound came from her. She looked like she’d put it in body temperature water. Also, last night, I caused a lot of pain, and she only gasped and cried out. Not once were any of her moans coming from the ability to feel pain. She also doesn’t look shocked by her lack of pain. Dawn is scared of me being repulsed by her.”
“Alpha, this is bad.”
“I know it’s bad, but I need you to get the Doc here and to make sure no one knows the truth.”
Jake was silent.
“What do you want to tell me?” Daniel asked.
“I heard some guys talking at the club last night. They were talking about some kind of dog fight or some shit. There’s a guy who can’t feel pain and is taking on dogs in the ring. I don’t know if it was true or if they were bullshitting. Do you think it can be a wolf with this same problem?”
Daniel cursed. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. I’m not having anyone putting Dawn in danger because she can’t feel. Check out the gossip and get back to me. In the meantime, get the Doc here. I want him to talk to him and see what I can find out.”
“What if she can’t be fixed?” Jake asked.
“I don’t need her to be fixed. I just need to keep her safe.”
Jake hung up letting him know that he wouldn’t talk about Dawn’s problem. Entering the house, Daniel placed the phone back on the kitchen counter. He ran his fingers through his hair trying to focus on Dawn rather than the fear of what her condition could mean. If she was trying to find someone to give her pain then she could have encountered all kinds of sick fucks. There were men, like him, who liked to cause a little pain, sadists, but they trained hard not to push too hard.
Some men and women, however, didn’t care how much they pushed. They didn’t believe in any boundary and simply pushed.
In her quest to find a sadist had she found this kind of men?
The very thought sickened him. Something had happened to her, but he didn’t know what it was.
He walked toward the sitting room, finding her in the nearest one. She was kneeling on the floor with her dark thighs spread open for him to see the naked lips of her sex. Her head was bowed in submission. Daniel wanted to touch her body. Her dark skin called to him, leaving him in need to feel her, to taste.
“You please me, pet,” he said, entering the room. He pushed the coffee table out of the way and circled her body. She released a little gasp as he moved the table with ease. Stroking her head, he stared at the curves of her body. She was perfect. He took a seat on the sofa. “Move to face me.”
She shuffled on the floor, her head still bowed, but she settled between his thighs. Her naked, curvy body was on display for him to touch.
She’s not ours yet.
He cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. “You can’t feel pain, Dawn.”
The change inside her was instant. He held her chin even as she made to pull away from him.
“Yo
u don’t know that. It will happen soon.”
“Sticking your finger into a steaming cup of liquid tells me all I need to know. You didn’t make a sound. Last night, you didn’t respond to my bites. I turned you on, but I didn’t cause you pain.”
“I like a lot of pain.”
He stared at her, seeing the denial within her depths, and the lies spilling from her mouth.
“I don’t know what you like to feel. If you can’t feel pain then in certain cases, the person starts to feel like they need pain. You’re not craving pain, Dawn. You’re hunting for it because the idea of not feeling it scares you.” She stared at him with tears in her eyes. He released her face and reached down to haul her up into his lap.
Dawn didn’t fight him as he settled her onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her body, holding her tight against him so she couldn’t move.
“We’re going to talk about this, and you’re not going to argue with me.” He infused his alpha voice as he spoke. She stopped struggling. The hairs on her arms stood on end letting him know he was winning their little dispute. He rested a hand on her stomach while the other he placed on her thigh. “Something happened during your transition. Most young wolves have a family or a pack that cares about them. They’re nursed during their transition into their first turning. During that time the body goes through a lot of stuff. In rare cases, wires get crossed, and something bad happens.” He was using all of his own knowledge to tell her this. The only reason he needed the doctor was for him to assess if there was anything they could do to stop the wires from being crossed. “These bad things turn an ordinary wolf into someone who can’t process pain. When people find out about their lack of pain threshold it makes them vulnerable to predators.” He licked his lips. “For you, you’re a natural submissive, so you’re open to men or women who’d want a toy to play with. They’re sadists of the worst kind, Dawn.”
He looked to her side and saw the tears glistening in her eyes. How much had she endured in the last few years before she met him? No one had looked deep enough to see the need she was suffering.
“Have you dealt with this?”
She gasped and turned her head away.
“Baby, I can’t help you until you tell me the truth.”
“How do you know I’m like this?” she asked, looking at him. “I didn’t react to the liquid or to your bites, but why does it have to mean anything?”
“Because you’re broken a little. Your wolf is scared to trust you.” He rubbed circles against her stomach soothing her. “The only reason for your wolf to be scared is because you’ve put her in a situation that scares her. She doesn’t trust your judgment, which makes her nervous. It’s why you can’t sense the truth of me being your mate.” He kissed the side of her neck. “It’s time for you to realize you can trust me.” He pressed another kiss to her neck. “I’m here to stay, and no matter what you say, I’m always going to be here. I love you, and you’re not getting rid of me.” He held her tight against him, showing her the love and care he felt through touch.
“You’re going to leave,” she said.
“I’m not going to go anywhere. It’s time for you to share these problems.”
She didn’t talk about her mother or any part of her past. How far back did this abuse go?
“Where do you want me to start?” she asked seconds later.
“From wherever you feel comfortable.”
She stayed silent for several minutes, not talking. Her heart was racing, and her wolf was pacing in wait. Calm down, baby. I’m not going to let her go.
“I killed a human male and cleaned the mess up.” The words were not what he expected and yet they were. She was a wolf, suitable to be his mate.
“Tell me what happened.” He continued to stroke her body. “Why did you kill that man?”
“I liked pain, or I thought I liked pain. The guy I lost my virginity to he wasn’t clean about it or nice. It hurt a little. I don’t know if it hurt or if it was supposed to hurt.”
“I get it,” he said, kissing her shoulder.
“It was before my transition. I was eighteen, and I wanted to have sex as a human. I heard that some wolves couldn’t have sex without turning. If I got a human mate I didn’t want to risk killing him so I decided to have sex before. There was a little pain, but I didn’t have an orgasm. That was the last time I ever felt pain.”
He listened to her talk, finally opening up to him. Her wolf stopped pacing and simply rested, clearly happy that she was trusting someone with the truth.
****
“Afterward I thought I needed the pain to get off. I couldn’t enjoy sex any other way, and so I did a little research and I found people who felt the same. Before my transition, I could feel pain, and all of a sudden, it was gone. I figured I had to go looking for it.” Dawn opened up telling Daniel everything about herself. She’d never thought telling the truth would make her feel safe, yet it did. “The first BDSM club I went to was for humans. There were no wolves present. In my father’s pack, there’s no relationship of this kind. I doubt they even know it exists.”
“You’d be surprised what goes on behind closed doors, baby. It happens more than you think.” He kept stroking her stomach and thigh, calming her.
Her wolf was relaxed, happy even.
“You went home with a man?” Daniel asked.
“Yes, he was the first man I went home with. I spent the weekend with him. He was…” She stopped thinking as the memory crashed over her. “I don’t know his name. He was disgusting, filthy. He tied me to ropes he had coming from the ceiling and kept me that way for the time we were together.” She closed her eyes, reaching down to touch Daniel. The feel of his flesh calmed her nerves.
“I’m here, Dawn. I’m not going anywhere.”
Knowing he wasn’t going to leave her filled her with joy.
“He used knives, whips, wax, and sometimes he used flame. There was no end to what he did. I made the noises suitable even though I felt nothing, and only when he started to talk about another woman he’d had in the same spot—” Her mouth went dry at the cruelty of his actions. “He’d killed another woman in that same spot. I hadn’t smelled it because of all the scented candles and bleach he used to mop everything up. He talked how he’d tortured her for days, doing to me what he’d done to her.”
“What happened?”
“My wolf pounced.” She held her hand up for him to see. “My hand turned into the claws of a wolf. I tore the restraints with so much ease, and I killed him. I liked it, Daniel. He was a murdering bastard and had caused so much pain, and I liked causing him pain. I’m not normal.”
He cupped her cheek, turning to her to look at him. His dark brown eyes stared back at her. “You saved other women. If you’d not been a wolf he’d have killed you and done it to other women.”
“I spent three days cleaning up the mess and disposing of the body. For weeks afterwards I thought all I could smell was his blood. Every second I spent with my pack I thought they knew the truth. No one said anything, and after a little time passed I went out. Don’t get me wrong. There were men who tried to give me what I wanted, but it always ended in rejection and disaster.” She wiped the tears leaking from her eyes.
“How many people did you kill?” he asked.
“I only killed one man.”
“The world is an awful place, Dawn. You’ve been unlucky to have encountered men who were bad, and didn’t know how to handle your problem. We’re not all like that.” He caressed her body, soothing her.
“That’s it. I heard about Kinkster’s after my last failed relationship, and I met you.”
“There’s only one man on your list?” he asked.
“Yes, isn’t that bad enough?” She sniffled, trying to wipe the tears away.
“It’s bad, but it’s not as bad as I thought. I don’t know how you could have thought I’d be repulsed by you.” He kept touching her. Her wolf relaxed, stretching out as if she needed to sleep.
<
br /> “You don’t believe in violence.”
“I don’t believe in violence being the only answer. It doesn’t mean I’ve not struggled in my life before. Taking a life takes part of us with them, Dawn. The man you’ve taken, he’s with you no matter what kind of scum he was.”
“I want him to go away,” she said.
“I can’t make him go away.” He turned her so she was sat on the sofa. “You’ve not talked about your mother. Everything you’ve told me wouldn’t have affected your ability to feel pain. You had sex before your transition, and that made you believe you needed pain to get off. You’ve not talked about her mother or your transition.”
Her mother was always off topic as far as she was concerned. “I don’t want to talk about my mom.”
Daniel stroked a finger across her lips. He settled between her thighs, pressing his body on top of hers. Her wolf moaned within her mind, bowing down to his presence. “How does your pack feel to having me as your mate?” she asked, changing the subject.
“You finally believe we’re mates now?”
“I can’t deny it. Not many men would put up with what I’ve put you through.”
He smiled. “We’re mates, and in time you’re going to see how bonded we are.” He leaned down, pressing his lips against hers.
She closed her eyes, whimpering as his lips touched hers. The instant shot of pleasure thrilled her.
“Open your eyes, pet. Your Master demands it.”
Dawn did as he asked, staring into his brown eyes. “My pack wants me to be happy. Being around you, even with the blue balls you’ve given me, gives me pleasure.” He rubbed his nose against hers then caressed down to inhale the scent of her neck. “Do you feel pleasure?”
“What do you mean?” She arched up to his touch, wanting to touch him.
“Last night, did you orgasm, or was that all a lie?” he asked.
“No, I feel pleasure. Last night was not a lie. I gave you everything that I am. I don’t hide from physical feelings. I’ve tried to feel pain, searched for it, and I always come back disappointed.” She wouldn’t lie about experiencing her first true orgasm by her mate.