Nora came to her feet, turned to look down at him. “Would you ever have told me?”
Eli met her narrowed gaze. The hurt staring back at him was like a kick to the gut. He’d never seen this side of Nora and he knew all the pain she was feeling could’ve somewhat been cushioned had he told her the truth in the beginning.
“No,” he answered honestly. “I didn’t want to cause you more pain.”
On a broken sigh, she closed her eyes and rested a hand on her stomach.
Eli came to his feet. “Are you hurting?”
She laughed as she looked up at him. “You lost all rights to worry about me and this baby when you opted to lie to me. We’re done, Eli.”
“Nora, please, if you’re in pain let me help. Think of the baby.”
She brushed a strand of hair off her face. “I am thinking of my baby. I’m thinking of how I’ll move forward and welcome this child into the world alone. I’m thinking of how we are done and it’s time I realized that there’s a reason we never worked out. I’m not in any more pain than I have been, and if I need help I’ll call my actual doctor.”
She’d shut him out, and he had no one to blame but himself. But he never would’ve told her. Ever. She didn’t need to have her final memories of Todd tainted knowing he’d cheated on her. He knew she was way angrier with Eli than Todd. Eli was alive, able to disclose the truth, and yet he’d chosen to keep it to himself.
“You need to go.”
Her whispered words combined with a fresh batch of tears forming in her eyes broke him. She’d erected a wall around herself and there was no way he would be able to scale it.
“No matter what you think of me,” he told her, fighting the urge to touch her, to hold her, “I do love you, Nora. I love your baby and I love us. I never once lied about my feelings. If you think this through, you’ll understand why I didn’t tell you about Todd.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she didn’t even bother to swipe them away. Her chin quivered as she spoke.
“I assume it’s because you two were best friends,” she whispered. “Which only tells me that if you thought it was okay to keep the secret, then what’s to stop you from doing it yourself?”
A pain like he’d never known sliced right through him. He swallowed through the tears clogging his own throat.
“If that’s how you feel, then we don’t belong together. I would never, ever cause you more hurt or purposely ruin our relationship. Love means everything to me, Nora. Our love means everything to me.”
Without asking, he rested his hand on her stomach one last time before walking from the room and out of her life.
The ring in his pocket meant nothing now.
Chapter Seventeen
Thank God for the long weekend that spilled over into Christmas. The last thing Eli wanted was to come out of his apartment for Christmas dinner. He wasn’t feeling too festive.
His family always celebrated on Christmas Eve, but Eli was perfectly content cozying up to his beer. Not that he had taken the first sip. He’d been sitting on his couch, holding the bottle up on the arm and staring at the label.
There were a couple of times in the army when he’d wished he were one of those guys who lost themselves for a few hours in the bottom of a bottle, but he hadn’t been raised that way.
But right now, Eli would give anything to numb the pain, even if for a few minutes.
The condensation slid down the amber-colored glass and onto his fingers. Footsteps pounded up from the garage just before his apartment door flew open.
“What the hell is going on?”
Eli eyed his brother Drake across the room. Great, as if one pissy brother wasn’t enough, Cameron stood just over his shoulder, too.
“Come in if you’re coming in,” Eli told them. “If not, go away.”
“Well, you’re in a mood and Nora is not speaking.” Cameron stepped in, leaned against the small dinette table and crossed his arms over his chest. “What did you do?”
Eli snapped his gaze to his brother. “What makes you think I did anything?”
Drake took the time to take off his coat and toss it over the chair by the door. Cameron remained in his and shrugged, eyeing Eli.
“I’m a cop,” Cam said. “I’m pretty good at reading people. She’s got hurt written all over her and you’re being a recluse up here at Christmas of all times, which means you’re blaming yourself for something.”
Eli set his full longneck on the coffee table. Resting his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands, he stared at the gray rug beneath his bare feet.
“I hurt her,” Eli admitted, rubbing a hand over his bedhead. “I betrayed her trust just like Todd, and I can’t blame her for not wanting to be with me.”
Drake remained by the chair, hands on his hips. “Nora is down at Mom and Dad’s. They insisted she come over and eat. We really didn’t know anything was wrong until we saw her. She looks as if she’s been crying for days, man. You’ve got to fix this.”
Eli jerked his head up. “You don’t think I want to fix this? You think I enjoy knowing I’ve hurt someone I love? I was ready to stay here, settle down and make a life with her. I even bought her a damn ring.”
Drake and Cameron exchanged a look before Cameron crossed the room and took a seat at the end of the couch.
“I have no idea what happened, but you two can’t go on like this.”
“We won’t,” Eli stated. “I’m going to have to tell Dad I can’t stay and take over his practice. I’ll go back to Atlanta. I should know soon if that promotion is mine or not.”
“So because you’re too much of a coward to face this issue with Nora, you’re leaving Dad in a bind and the only woman you’ve ever loved all alone?” Cameron asked. “You’re a jerk.”
Eli came to his feet. “Shut the hell up. You have no idea what went on. None. So don’t come in here and start spewing relationship advice. What do you know, anyway? You’re married to your job.”
Drake came to his feet. “Calm down, Eli. You know we’re both here to try to help. Do you want to tell us what happened or do you want us to leave you alone on Christmas Eve so you can cozy back up to your beer?”
Sinking back down to the couch, Eli sighed and started from the beginning. He told them about the time he’d planned on coming home for good, he told them about the affair and then he told them how he really got that scar on his face.
Eli had a feeling this wouldn’t be the last time he told this story. Somehow, Nora would have to hear it. But he truly didn’t think he could talk to her, not when she’d been convinced that since he kept the secret it meant he was capable of infidelity, too.
That hurt worse than anything else she’d said. She obviously didn’t know him at all and everything he’d said and done to prove his love up to that point had been moot because she didn’t believe it.
By the time he’d bared his soul to his brothers, it was late and he couldn’t make himself go downstairs to dinner.
“Tell them I’m not feeling well. I don’t care what you say, but if Nora’s down there I don’t want her more uncomfortable.”
Cameron rolled his eyes. “You’re going to have to tell her everything. And you better do it soon before this tears Mom up. She’s worried about both of you.”
Eli nodded. “I can’t right now. I just... I can’t. Okay? Tell Mom I’ll be down first thing in the morning.”
“Don’t be surprised if Mom comes storming up here,” Drake joked. “But we’ll tell her.”
Cameron walked out and Drake gripped the door, turning around to meet Eli’s gaze across the small room. “I lost the love of my life, Eli. I can’t get her back. You still have a chance to go after happiness.”
And with that he was gone. Eli knew Drake lived with that hell every day of losing his fia
ncée in such a tragic way. He was right, though. Eli still did have a chance and maybe Nora wouldn’t listen to him, but maybe she would.
Once Eli was alone again he took his beer to the small kitchen and dumped it. When he turned back around he had the strongest urge to throw something. He hadn’t seen Nora for almost two days, hadn’t seen her smile, hadn’t tasted her lips, held her body against his...felt her baby kick.
Glancing around the small space almost depressed him more. No Christmas tree, no family, no dinner and laughter and sharing stories. But if he went down to the main house he’d only make Nora feel awkward and he’d be in a foul mood. No need in making the family dinner a miserable experience for everyone.
Besides, Nora needed family more right now. And when he returned to Atlanta, his family would continue to watch over her just like they always had. At least he had that comfort.
Damn it, he didn’t want her to be watched over and cared for by his brothers and parents. He wanted to be the one she leaned on, the one who shared everything with her.
Eli went to the dinette table and booted up his laptop. Since he had nothing else to do, he went to check his work email from Atlanta. He’d been off the radar a couple of days.
And the first message he saw was the one he’d been waiting for. He’d gotten the promotion.
* * *
When Drake and Cameron had pulled her aside after dinner she’d been afraid of what they’d say. But she had no idea the bombshell they had in store.
Her nerves were on edge, her hormones were all over the place and she honestly didn’t have a clue what to do next.
She rested her hands on the countertop in the galley kitchen and sighed.
“I’m making Eli a plate,” Bev said, bustling into the kitchen as if she didn’t know about or wasn’t commenting on all the turmoil. “Would you care to run it up to him, dear?”
“Bev,” Nora said, turning around. “I know you mean well, but I doubt you know what you’re asking.”
Setting a stack of dirty dishes on the counter, Bev crossed to Nora and took her hands in hers. “I know exactly what I’m asking,” Bev said softly. “I know two people I dearly love are hurting and the only way to get past that is to talk. Communication is the key to any relationship.”
Nora swallowed, praying she didn’t start sobbing here. She’d been tear-free for two hours. A record for her after the past couple days.
“We don’t have a relationship,” Nora whispered. “I know you wanted—”
“It doesn’t matter what I want or don’t want,” Bev interrupted. “What matters is there are two broken hearts and I can’t sit back and let this happen. Now, I’m making a plate. Do you want to take it or do you want me to have Eli come down here?”
Nora closed her eyes and sighed. “I’ll take it.”
There was so much pain, so much anguish. The damage was too great to even get back to a friendship status—how could they ever repair what had been done?
Nora bundled herself up in her coat and scarf while Bev fixed the plate. This was the dead last thing she wanted to do, but she knew she and Eli needed to talk, no matter how much hurt lay wedged between them.
“Drake put a little salt on the walk with that fresh dusting we got, but be careful.” Bev held the door open. “Take your time.”
Nora knew the woman meant “take your time in the apartment,” not “take your time getting to the apartment.”
She didn’t stop to think about what she was doing; she just set out toward the garage and up the steps, gripping the wooden rail for support as she went. But she did stop to knock. When he didn’t answer, she tried the knob.
Nora held the plate and eased the door open. Eli sat at his small table with his back to the door.
“I told Cam and Drake to tell you I’d come down and see you and Dad tomorrow.”
Nora cleared her throat. “Um... She sent me.”
Eli jerked around, shooting out of his seat. And Nora froze. He’d been crying. His eyes were red, moist, and when he realized she was staring, he swiped a hand down his face.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “Your mom sent this up and...”
This was beyond awkward. Nora crossed to the kitchen, purposely avoiding eye contact with Eli. She knew he would never want anyone to see him vulnerable, let alone her.
After she set the plate on the kitchen counter she turned, meeting his gaze from across the open room.
“I’m surprised you brought dinner to me,” he said, his voice husky with emotion. “Thanks.”
Nora nodded. “I...I needed to talk to you.”
He didn’t say anything, merely crossed his arms, resting his fingers along thick biceps that filled out his thin navy sweater.
“Which brother got ahold of you?” he asked.
He had to have known when he spilled the full truth to his siblings that one of them would rush to tell her.
“It doesn’t matter which one, Eli. The point is you didn’t tell me everything.”
His eyes raked over her, then he shook his head. “Might as well take off your coat.”
Nora unbuttoned her coat and laid it and her scarf over the back of the chair by the door. Tugging her shirt down to cover her bump, she crossed the room and took a seat on the sofa.
When he came closer she couldn’t help but look right at the scar. That was the part Cam and Drake had refused to tell her about. They both told her to ask Eli, but they did tell her enough to know that it would possibly change her mind.
“What all did you hear?” he asked as he stayed still by the table.
“Your brothers defending you,” she told him. “They were plenty mad at you, but they believed you had a good reason for keeping something so monumental from me.”
Eli nodded. “And what do you think?”
“That I want to hear your reasons. They seem to think I’ll be surprised at your side of the story.”
Eli’s brows rose. “The other day it didn’t matter. You even went so far as to practically accuse me of thinking infidelity was okay.”
Nora looked down at her clasped hands over her belly. “I’m sorry, Eli. I didn’t know what to think. To be honest, I still don’t.”
When she looked back up to him and saw his jaw clenching, she knew she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Now that they’d both had time to let everything settle, they had so much to discuss.
“My husband is gone, Eli,” she went on. “But even when he was here, he was gone. Nothing about his missions was discussed. He never wanted to let me into that part of his life. And not only did he die, he’d sent me divorce papers while I was carrying his child. To top off all of that, I find out he’d been unfaithful and you knew about it. How could I not be angry? You were always the one person I could count on, Eli.”
Anger started bubbling in her the more she talked. Unable to remain seated, she got back up and started crossing the room as she spoke.
“No matter what happened years ago, you were always the one person I swore would always be honest. You were always the one to do the right thing in the end.”
“The right thing?” he demanded, staring down at her. “I tried doing the right thing years ago, Nora. I got out of the army with intentions of going to medical school and coming home to be with you. I wanted to see if we could have a life together.”
Nora gasped. “I never knew this,” she whispered.
“Yeah, that’s because when I got done with school, you and Todd were engaged. What the hell could I do at that point but watch my best friend and the love of my life live happily ever after? Only I couldn’t stay here. So I reenlisted.”
Nora gripped the back of one of the chairs at the table. She needed stability because she had a feeling he wasn’t done pouring out all of his emotions.
“
But then I had to hear Todd talk about the two of you,” he went on. “At first he discussed the wedded bliss and how lucky he was. Then he started wondering if you two rushed into marriage and toward the end he knew you two had made a mistake and he was afraid to hurt you.”
“For a man who was afraid to hurt me, he sure did do a lot on purpose to do just that.”
Eli nodded. “We were at a bar one night when we were overseas. We had both drank way too much. He disappeared for a while and when he came back with a woman, I knew. I just knew.”
Nora steeled herself for the details she wasn’t sure she was ready to hear. But she needed to know, needed to hear what Eli had to say.
“We got into a fight,” Eli went on. “I told him he wasn’t worthy of you and he told me that he knew he’d never measure up to me where you were concerned. He kept saying over and over that I should’ve married you, that you never looked at him the way you did me.”
Nora’s eyes darted to the scar.
“Yeah, that was from the fight.” Eli muttered a curse. “We tore that bar up fighting and my face met the glass on a mirror.”
Over her. Nora couldn’t imagine the fact that halfway around the world those two men had been fighting over her.
“I told him if he didn’t come clean with you, then I would.” Eli raked his hands through his hair and met her gaze. “I hated the thought of you being hurt, Nora, but I also knew you deserved to know. He swore he’d tell you, and when he came home on leave I assumed he was going to. By the time he came back, my tour was nearly up and he told me not to say anything. That he was writing you a letter because he couldn’t do it face-to-face.”
Nora bit her lip, trying to keep her emotions under control.
“I honestly had no idea about the divorce papers,” he whispered. “I swear to you.”
A tear slipped down his cheek. The image of this big strong man, a man who’d fought in a war, a man who cared for wounded and dying, was crying...for her, for them.
“I’ve decided to leave at the end of dad’s medical leave,” he went on, swiping the tear as if it meant nothing. “There’s a job I’ve been waiting to hear on in Atlanta and I just found out I got it.”
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