I go out for the pass, jumping up and over the safety who hung deep.
I catch the ball, my feet touching the ground right before I’m tackled, but the pass was successful and that’s a touchdown for the Spartans.
And because there’s something twisted about me I can’t control, I look at the poor excuse of a man in the bleachers, telling myself all I want to do is prove him wrong in life while refusing to believe any part of me still wishes to please him.
My frustration is only fueled more by my dad’s lack of response, even though it was fully expected.
He sits there in his slacks and button-down, arms folded over his chest.
Piece of shit.
“What’s the matter, Nico? Daddy not impressed?” Alex taunts.
I lose it.
I shove the punk, yanking his helmet off in the process before the ref blows his whistle in warning.
Before I can be ejected and risk having to sit out the next two games, Coach pulls me, sending me straight to the fucking locker room.
Once inside, I slam my helmet against the wall several times before dropping to the bench. I run my hands over my face, then fall back and close my eyes.
Fuck. This. Day.
I tug my shit off, not bothering to shower before putting my gym clothes on.
I try Demi for the millionth fuckin’ time and when she doesn’t answer, I toss my phone across the room.
Where the fuck is she? She agreed to be with me and being at my games comes along with that.
This is bullshit.
With a deep breath, I move for the door, picking up my phone along the way, and glare at the shattered screen.
The last thing I want to do is go home to a dark house, and everyone I hang with is still on the fucking field, so I head for the rooftop. Straight to the fucking edge.
The game is about over, and we’re gonna win, but I can’t find it in me to care.
Why isn’t Demi here?
And what the fuck is she trippin’ on anyway?
I told her I didn’t do a damn thing, but what if I did?
I could have easily fucked Miranda again. Shit, the first day I walked in the gym I saw the want on her face, noticed her watching Demi and me more than she was the others, but I thought she was being a professional, perfecting her shit.
I should have walked my ass out yesterday morning when ten minutes passed, and I was still the only one there.
Stupid fuckin’ me, I thought I could get ahead, already know the moves before Demi had the chance to show them to me. She’d be impressed.
I groan, dropping my chin to my chest.
“Suck it the fuck up, Nico. You sound like a bitch.” I shake my head at myself, turning to lean my elbows and back against the bricks.
A shine of blue catches my eyes and I freeze.
Slowly, I make my way over to pick it up.
A blue Gatorade.
Still cold.
She’s here.
I over exaggerate every move, locking my hips fully with each pop, flipping my hair and using my hands to add more sensuality.
I spin around, my chin lifted as I sassily walk toward the mirror and grip the barre attached to it, slowly swaying from right to left.
My eyes close, giving my body full control as I freestyle through the rest of the track.
With a tight hold on the glazed wood, I slowly butterfly to the floor, bouncing lightly on my tippy toes, and then make a slow and provocative rise.
My hands lift into my hair only to trail right back down the length of my neck.
The air in the room shifts in the next moment and my skin prickles as my eyes fly open, instantly connecting with a pair of dark, wild ones.
I gasp, falling against the glass slightly, but I don’t look away.
Nico stands in the open doorway, lips pressed in a firm line as he makes slow and deliberate strides inside, each one causing my pulse to pound harder.
It only gets worse when he pauses an arm’s length away.
He stands there unmoving, not so much as a blink, but his gaze grows ten shades darker and I know what he wants.
Unhurriedly, I begin moving again, hesitant at first, but when his tongue touches his lips, his focus falling to my ass, I give more.
He snaps instantly.
With a quickness I couldn’t prepare for if I tried, he rushes forward, his chest now pushing into my back as his eyes remain glued to mine in the mirror.
His gentle yet firm tug to my arm has me spinning to face him, my hair sticking to my lip gloss when I do.
I lick my lips, blowing it off lightly, and he follows the movement.
Suddenly his eyes pop up to mine.
So eager.
The vein in his neck tics angrily against his skin and I can’t help myself, I move in, running my lips across it.
It hits harder.
What are you doing, Neek?
His hands are quick to find my ass, and without warning and zero effort, he dips, lifting me with ease.
My grip flies to his shoulders to help steady myself, but in the same second, my back is pushed to the mirror, my ass now perched on the small barre as his palms trail around, up my stomach until he’s cupping the underside of my breast.
He steps closer, tugging me to the edge so he’s pressed against me, nothing but both our workout shorts between us.
My eyes cling to his, a rapid, throbbing, unbearable ache taking over my body.
And I can’t help myself, not when his hard-on is resting on me with a subtleness that should be forbidden.
I grind into him.
A tiny bit at first, almost enough to be considered a shift of my body, but then his forehead tightens.
A sign of slipping control?
I do it again, harder, longer, with a deeper sway, and a small whimper escapes from my own actions.
Nico’s response is a reckless growl.
His lips crash into mine with a hard and heavy need, and all I can think is fucking finally.
I moan instantly, and when he pushes his dick against me, shifting his hips the smallest bit, I gasp into his mouth.
As if expecting it, Nico is ready, his tongue delving inside my mouth, his hand coming up to force me impossibly close and leaving no room for air to breathe, nothing but him to fill my lungs.
My legs lift, sliding across his thighs, before wrapping across his back and locking.
He groans, ripping his mouth from mine as he gives a strong squeeze to my thighs. “I’ve been dying to feel these around me again.”
He nips my lips and my head falls back, gently knocking into the mirror.
Nico slides his mouth down my throat, and my eyes squeeze tighter. I grind harder into him, my hands sliding along his biceps.
When he bites at my neck, my toes curl, and my eyes pop open.
My entire body grows stiff in an instant, a shrill coldness filling me to the core.
No.
Alex stands there, phone at his side, bag over his shoulder. With a subtle shake of his head, he keeps walking past, and I wish I could disappear just the same.
I am such a fucking fool.
It takes Nico a second to realize I’ve locked up on him, his head lifting as he does.
I refuse to meet his treacherous gaze, not when I know my unrestrained desire is written across my face while all he was doing was driving a point home.
I drop my legs from around him, and he doesn’t relent right away, but finally releases me, allowing me to fall back to my feet.
I try my hardest not to touch a single inch of him as I squeeze away, quickly moving for the sound system to turn it off.
My shaky hand misses the button twice, and I take a deep breath, steadying myself a moment before trying again.
God, I’m an idiot!
“Demi.” His voice strained as he attempts to catch his breath.
I don’t reply, hastily slipping into my track pants.
“Should I be apologizing right now?” he e
dges. “‘Cause I don’t fuckin’ want to.”
“No.” My response comes out quick and raspier than I had expected, so I clear my throat and try again. “No, it’s fine. Everything is fine.”
I slip my shoes on, then tug my sweater over my head, pulling my hair out.
It takes all my will, but I manage a forced blank stare and turn to him.
Nico’s face is drawn up tight, his chest rising and falling in quick spurts as he studies my every move.
“You did what I asked.” My shrug is rigid.
Why the hell did I ask him to make me want it first?
Nico’s head jerks back.
“I wouldn’t worry about having to do that again.”
“Having to do that again,” he drawls slowly.
“He, uh.” I look away. “Caught the entire show, so I’d say we’re good for a while.”
“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” Nico shouts.
“Look, I’m going to Carley’s tonight, we’re going out of town in the morning to visit her grandparents,” I lie, moving for the door. “So I’ll just... see you Monday.”
Or never, that would be awesome.
I go to walk away, but he calls me out.
“You’re lying,” he accuses flatly.
I tense, turning around. “Excuse me?”
“Carley, like the rest of us, has been trying to call you all day. When she couldn’t get ahold of you, she asked me to let you know she was leaving right after the game, going with Krista and Trent to go get his brother from the airport.”
Shit.
He tips his head back slightly. “Why you lying, D? Got plans you don’t wanna share?” He glares.
Oh, fuck him.
“I was trying to be nice,” I shout, taking him off guard, but only the subtle lift of his brows would tell you so. “But, fine, since it seems we’re going all out, how about because I don’t want to see you tonight, or for the rest of the shitty fucking weekend for that matter.”
“Why the fuck not?” He takes a step toward me, and this time unexpected turmoil stares back. “What the hell just happened here, D?”
My anger is kicking higher the longer I stand here, and the hinted hurt in his eyes only confuses and pisses me off more. “I’m not really yours, Nico, so stop acting entitled to things you aren’t. If I don’t want to tell you something, I don’t have to, so go ahead, feel free to lie to me all you want, too, because I don’t really give a shit.”
He eyes me a moment, licking his lips as he nods. “Right. Fake it ‘til you make it, huh, D?”
“Learned from the master, huh, Neek?” I mock him. Moisture fights its way into my eyes, so I end the conversation with, “Awesome acting.”
That felt pretty fucking real to me.
I walk out, afraid I left a part of me behind and unsure of how the hell to get it back.
I thought he kissed me for us.
I thought wrong.
What. The. Fuck.
Awesome acting?
What the hell just happened?
I kissed her, a real fuckin’ kiss, like I’d been waiting to do for a long ass time. Shit, I’ve been fighting against myself since the second she agreed to this stupid ass lie, since I let my hands touch her that night in the hotel hallway.
There’ve been several times when we were alone, so there was no hiding what it would be like, when I was sure she wanted it, wanted me, but I waited. Until I couldn’t anymore.
I knew she’d like it, knew she’d respond to my every move with one of her own.
I fuckin’ knew we’d fit.
She pushed back harder than I did. Sought out what she needed more than I allowed myself to. Then boom, a bucket of fucking ice dropped, and she flipped her switch, walked out like nothing happened.
She’s not mine, she said.
Ain’t that some bullshit?
I have no fucking clue what she’s truly been thinking the last few weeks. All I know is what’s going on in my damn head, and it’s not easy to admit when I can’t positively say she’s not on the same page. Still...
When I think of her, I want more.
When I touch her, I hate to stop.
When I look at her, I see mine.
I need her to feel the same.
A half hour passes before my phone rings and I finally find myself walking out of the studio and toward the parking lot.
I answer Trent’s call.
“Your truck’s still here. Where you at?” he asks, right as I step through the double doors.
“I’m coming,” I tell him, hanging up.
His eyes travel over all the exit points of the school until they land on me, and he leans back against my hood.
“What up, man?” he asks when I make it to him. “Where’d you go?”
I scoff, shaking my head and nodding at the cab. I hit the unlock button, and he follows my lead, climbing in the passenger seat while I slide into the driver’s.
“Thought you were going to get your brother?” I ask him, leaning back.
He shrugs, looking away.
I turn toward him. “She called them, didn’t she?”
He hesitates a moment before looking my way. “She didn’t have to. Dem walked out when we were getting in the car. Girls got one look at her and off they went.”
I nod, then put the truck in drive. “Lock up, we’ll go get him.”
“You sure?” He eyes me. “I can go by myself, call you later?”
“Yeah, bro. I could use the drive. He’ll have to sit bitch, but...” I trail, and we both laugh lightly.
He pushes the button on his keys and off we go.
“So what’s going on, Nic? Why was she cryin’?” he asks once we’re on the highway.
She was cryin’?
“Fuck if I know.” My grip tightens on the wheel. “She flipped out. She...” I cut a quick glance his way, and he tilts his head expectantly.
Fuck it.
I break down all the bullshit that happened with Miranda, the switch of partners, and how her and Alex showed up together that next morning, catching us in a fucked up looking position.
“Damn,” he draws out, looking away. “So you really didn’t touch her this time, Miranda?”
My glare snaps to his a moment before I focus on the road.
“Are you for real?”
“What? Don’t act surprised. I’m the one person aware this shit between you and Dem is fake, remember? I had to ask.” He lifts his hands. “Keep going.”
I flip him off and he chuckles.
“Every time we’ve kissed it’s been when others are around, played off as all part of the deal, you know? But man, I know that’s bullshit.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what I’ve been telling you – I can fucking read her, bro. She’s wanted me to kiss her, touch her, something, several times, and not so people would see. It hasn’t been easy, but I held myself back every fuckin’ time when it was the last thing I wanted to do.”
He thinks on that a second before he says, “You kissed her when you were alone.”
“I fucking kissed her, and I wasn’t subtle or gentle, and she turned to putty in my arms, Trent. She was into it. Fully. Fuckin’ completely.” I know it.
I fuckin’ felt it.
“I’m not really seeing the problem here, Nic.”
“My point exactly. She just froze, and that was it. She talked some shit and took off.”
“Maybe she freaked out. Too much too quick? This was supposed to be fake. Maybe she’s not looking for more?”
You don’t have to be looking to find the best fucking thing for you.
Sometimes all you have to do is open your eyes and realize it found you first.
I glare out the front window.
“You got a thing for her?” I ask him point blank.
“What?! No!”
His answer is instant and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“I love Krista. I’m happy with Krista and
plan to follow her ass around like a little bitch after graduation.” He laughs lightly. “I like Demi, and I care about her, but no...” He trails off, and I cut a glance his way.
“What?”
A heavy tension lines his eyes, and he curses under his breath. “I gotta tell you something.”
“Tell me what?” I ask, merging over and turning down the road that leads to the airport.
He shakes his head, blowing out a long breath. “Look, this—”
Trent’s phone beeps.
With a sigh, he pulls it from his pocket, frowning at the screen.
“Goddamn this girl.” He shakes his head.
“That was Krista?”
“Yeah.”
“What did she say?”
He lifts the phone for me to glance at the screen.
A picture of the inside of a liquor store bag full of junk food and a bottle of Hennessey, he scrolls up to show the other one that came with it.
It’s of the girls walking, a near empty bottle at Krista’s lips.
“They’re walking?”
In the fuckin’ dark?
He types away. “She don’t listen.”
I chuckle, turning into the terminal that leads to the pickup line. “They never do.”
Trent laughs, looking out the window.
“We gotta talk, Nic,” he says.
I shake my head, not up for this. “Not right now, your brother’s coming out in a minute.”
He turns to me, an overwrought expression on his face. He nods. “Yeah, all right, man, but later, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I agree, when I have no desire to hear him tell me for the tenth time this is a bad idea.
We’re so fuckin’ far past that.
I lean over, sticking my tongue out and touching it to Macy’s while Krista takes a picture, laughing.
Carley plops down beside us, but slides off the bench, falling to her ass on the grass and the two of us drop with her.
“Hey, don’t leave me out!” Krista whines and throws herself onto the pile.
We giggle, letting our empty snack containers tumble to our sides, and lay there silently.
After our first few shots, we decided to walk along the green strip that leads to the golf course. Halfway through, though, the Hennessey kicked in and the snacks ran low, so we sat down, drank some more and here we are – a mile from the golf course one way, and a mile from Macy’s house the other.
Fake It 'Til You Break It Page 20