‘An ambulance! But surely Charlie isn’t so ill that he needs to go to the hospital?’
‘I’m afraid he is, Melanie,’ Rachel replied quietly. ‘He’s extremely dehydrated and it’s very dangerous in a baby this young. He needs to be rehydrated as quickly as possible so he’ll be put on an intravenous drip when you reach the hospital.’
‘But I thought you’d just give me some medicine to stop him being sick,’ Melanie wailed, tears pouring down her face.
‘I wish it was that simple.’ Rachel struggled to her feet and hobbled around the desk. She placed a comforting arm around the young mother’s shoulders. ‘The doctor at the hospital will also do a blood test to check Charlie’s fluid and salt levels. Once an infant becomes severely dehydrated, it’s essential to ensure that the right balance is maintained.’
‘I wish I’d known all this before,’ Melanie sniffed. ‘I’d have brought Charlie in to see you last night if I’d thought he was in any danger.’
‘Do you have anyone to help you with him?’ Rachel asked and Melanie shook her head.
‘No. I was brought up in care. I don’t know where my parents are—they never came to visit me while I was in the children’s home. And as for Charlie’s dad, well, he didn’t want to know when I told him I was pregnant.’
‘I see.’ It was an all too familiar tale and Rachel’s heart went out to her. She had been so fortunate to have her parents there to help her through the first difficult years following Ross’s birth, she thought.
There wasn’t time to dwell on it then, however. The ambulance had arrived so she saw Melanie and baby Charlie out to Reception then went back to her room. However, as she worked through her list, Rachel decided that something needed to be done to help other young mums like Melanie. If they had somewhere they could go for advice it could prevent another situation like this from occurring.
She decided to mention it to Matt and see what he thought about the idea. If they put their heads together, she was confident that they could come up with some sort of a plan. A smile curved her mouth. It may mean extra work for her but working with Matt was always a pleasure and never a chore.
Matt went straight to Rachel’s room after his last patient left. He had found himself clock-watching, willing the time to pass so he could check up on her. She was sitting at her desk, her head bowed as she jotted down some notes on a pad.
Matt felt a rush of heat erupt in the centre of his chest. She had no idea he was there so he could study her at his leisure and he made the most of the opportunity. Her hair was a riot of rich chestnut curls as it tumbled around her face. It looked so silky and so soft that once again he was struck by the urge to touch it. Then there was her skin, so smooth and satiny that he ached to touch that too. Everything about her was appealing, seductive, and he couldn’t understand why he had never realised it before. Had he been walking around with his eyes closed for the past few years? Or had he been afraid to notice how beautiful she was because of what it could mean? By admitting that he was attracted to her, it meant that he was getting over Claire.
The thought shook him. He had never considered the idea that he had been deliberately clinging on to the past but it was true. He had been afraid to let it go when he had been scared of what the future held. Until Claire had died his life had been mapped out and mapped out in a way he had wanted it to be. He’d had a job he loved, a child he adored and a happy marriage. However, Claire’s untimely death had changed everything. He had been cast adrift, his future sent spinning out of his control, and the only way he had been able to cope had been through clinging onto what he’d had—especially his love for Claire.
Deep down he knew it wasn’t enough any longer. He needed more than just his memories. But having more meant taking risks and he couldn’t imagine placing himself in the position of getting hurt. Even supposing he found someone else to love, did he have the courage to risk his heart again?
Thoughts tumbled around his head and Matt realised that he needed time to deal with his inner turmoil. He quietly backed out of the room but just as that moment Rachel looked up and saw him. Her face broke into a smile and his heart clenched in fear. Even now it might be too late. He already felt far more for Rachel than he should have done.
‘Ah, just the person I wanted to see.’ Rachel smiled at Matt across the desk, her mind still busy with the plans she had made for the new teenage pregnancy advisory service she was hoping to set up. She glanced at her notes again and nodded. Yes, it was do-able. Just.
She looked up, eager to share her ideas with him, and frowned when she realised that he hadn’t moved an inch. He was still standing in the doorway, looking to all intents and purposes as though he wished he was anywhere but there. What on earth was wrong with him?
‘Are you all right, Matt?’ she began, but he didn’t let her finish.
‘I’m sorry, Rachel, but I can’t stop right now. I’ve an urgent call to go to. I’ll catch up with you later. OK?’
‘I…um…yes, of course,’ she murmured, although he couldn’t possibly have heard her seeing as he had already left.
Rachel grimaced as she struggled to her feet. It must be something really important if Matt couldn’t spare even a couple of minutes to talk to her. She gathered up her case notes and made her way to the office. Carol leapt up from her desk when she saw Rachel coming in and rushed over to the door.
‘You should have buzzed me,’ the receptionist admonished her. ‘I’d have come and got those notes off you. Here, sit yourself down and take the weight off that knee.’
‘Thanks.’ Rachel gratefully subsided onto a chair. ‘I never realised before just how long that corridor is,’ she joked, easing her leg onto a handy cardboard box full of stationery.
‘And it’ll feel even longer by the end of the day,’ Carol retorted, taking the cushion off her chair and placing it under Rachel’s swollen knee. ‘You should be at home, resting, instead of galloping around this place.’
‘I’m not sure galloping is the right way to describe it. More like a hop, skip and hobble. All I need is a parrot on my shoulder and I could double for Long John Silver!’
Carol laughed. ‘At least you can see the funny side, that’s something.’
‘That’s probably all,’ Rachel replied pithily. She looked round when Ross poked his head round the door, putting up her hand when she saw his expression change as he spotted her injured leg. She had managed to avoid telling him what had happened by going straight to her room when she had arrived that morning. However, there was no way she could avoid it any longer. ‘There’s no need to panic, darling. I just slipped and bumped my knee getting out of the car last night. It looks far worse than it is.’
‘Why on earth didn’t you phone me, Mum?’ He came into the room and crouched down in front of her, shaking his head when he saw the bruising. ‘I’d have come straight round.’
‘I know you would but I didn’t want to bother you. Anyway, there was no need for you to come haring round,’ she added, deliberately distorting the truth a little. The last thing Ross needed at the moment was to have to worry about her. ‘Matt sorted me out. He even came round to make breakfast for me this morning and drove me to work.’
‘Oh, right. I see. Well, that was good of him but you still should have phoned me and let me know.’
Rachel breathed a sigh of relief when Ross accepted her explanation at face value. He wasn’t to know that she had struggled on by herself the previous night, neither did she intend him to know. She smiled at him, her heart aching when she saw the shadows in his eyes. There was no doubt at all that recent events had taken their toll on him, despite his attempts to carry on as normal. ‘I feel suitably rebuked. I’m sorry, darling.’
‘I’ll let you off this time so long as it doesn’t happen again,’ he told her with mock severity, and she laughed. He gave her a peck on the cheek and straightened up. ‘Have you got that list of calls ready, Carol?’ he asked, turning to the receptionist.
‘
Here it is. There’s nothing urgent. Most folk seem to be suffering from that wretched tummy bug.’
Carol handed over the list of house calls that needed doing along with a printout of the relevant case notes, and Rachel frowned. Nothing urgent? But what about the call that Matt had gone rushing off to? She waited until Ross had left before broaching the subject.
‘Matt mentioned something about an urgent call. Who’s he gone to see?’
‘Matt?’ Carol looked blankly at her. ‘Sorry, I don’t know what you mean. Ross is on call today, not Matt, and there’s been nothing urgent, as I said.’
‘My mistake. I must have got the wrong end of the stick. Blame it on the painkillers.’
Rachel passed it off although she couldn’t help feeling puzzled. Matt had been very clear about being called out, so what on earth was going on? If he needed to go somewhere then why not say so…? Unless it had had something to do with Heather and he hadn’t wanted her to know.
Rachel sighed sadly. She had never known Matt to prevaricate before and it was upsetting to know that he felt he needed to do so now. She must make it clear to him that she had no intention of taking sides when it came to their respective children. She certainly didn’t want it to have a detrimental effect on their relationship—whatever that relationship was nowadays.
Once again the uncertainty caused a rush of panic. Mere days ago she had been happy to call Matt her friend but friend wasn’t enough any longer, neither was colleague. Matt seemed to have assumed a new role in her life, one that demanded a great deal of her attention, too.
How did he view her? she wondered, harking back to the question that had troubled her the previous night. Was she still just the same person he had worked with all these years or did he now see her differently too?
One part of her preferred the security of thinking that nothing had changed so far as Matt was concerned while another part knew that it had. The trouble was that she had no idea if it made the situation easier or more complicated. It all depended on how Matt felt about her and only time would tell her that.
Matt drove round for almost an hour before he went back to the surgery. By then his initial panic had subsided and had been replaced by a definite feeling of embarrassment. What on earth had he been thinking, rushing off like that after only the flimsiest excuse? he thought grimly as he parked his car. Rachel only needed to check with Carol and she would soon discover that there’d been no emergency and then he would have some explaining to do.
His mouth compressed as he pushed open the surgery door and went inside. He wasn’t used to making a fool of himself and he didn’t enjoy the experience. From now on he had to stop acting like an idiot and behave like the rational and responsible person he was.
‘Matt, hi!’
Rachel’s voice brought him to an abrupt halt. He turned slowly around, steeling himself for the questions and the answers as well. How the hell was he going to explain his abrupt departure if she asked him outright where he had been? He may have resorted to a small white lie before but he couldn’t lie to her again. He would have to tell her the truth, yet the truth was so terrifying that he didn’t dare to imagine her reaction. Could he really see himself confessing that he was attracted to her and that was why he had made such a rapid exit?
‘If you have a few minutes to spare any time this afternoon, can we get together? There’s something I want to discuss with you.’
She hobbled unsteadily over to the desk and Matt immediately forgot about himself as he grasped hold of her arm. ‘You need to sit down and rest that leg. Come on, let’s get you back to your room before you do yourself any further damage.’
He held onto her arm as they made their way along the corridor. Rachel sank down onto her chair with a groan of relief that spoke volumes and he shook his head. ‘You need to slow down, Rachel, instead of rushing about the place.’
‘If only I could rush.’
She smiled up at him, her eyes filled with amusement and just the tiniest smidgen of concern. Matt knew without a word being exchanged that she had found out that he hadn’t been to see a patient, only she was too polite to say so. The thought made him feel guiltier than ever as he sat down on the edge of the desk.
‘Well, whatever speed you’re moving at it’s too fast for you. If you need someone to fetch and carry for you then ask, Rachel. That’s all it takes.’
‘I know, and thank you.’ She looked up at him so trustingly that he knew he had to confess, although how he should go about it was another matter entirely.
‘About before, when I went rushing off,’ he began, but she held up her hand.
‘You don’t have to explain, Matt. I understand.’
‘You do?’ He could barely hide his dismay and she sighed softly.
‘Yes. You didn’t want to upset me, but it’s all right. Really it is. I’m not going to take sides. They have to work this out themselves.’
‘They do?’ Matt murmured, because he had no idea what she was talking about.
‘Yes.’ She leant forward and he could see the sympathy in her eyes. ‘If Heather has contacted you then it’s only natural that you should want to see her. I promise I won’t say a word to Ross. For one thing I don’t intend to interfere and for another I don’t want to raise his hopes unnecessarily.’
‘Oh. Right. I see.’ Matt didn’t know what to do. He knew that he should explain that Heather hadn’t contacted him but that meant opening up a whole new can of worms. He mentally argued with himself about the rights and wrongs of keeping quiet but still hadn’t decided when Rachel changed the subject.
‘If you’ve got a few minutes to spare now, can we talk about this idea I’ve had?’
She launched into her proposal for a teenage pregnancy advisory service and he didn’t interrupt her. Maybe it was cowardly to take the easy way out but it was a lot less stressful for both of them. Admitting that he was attracted to her would alter the dynamics of their relationship and he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. What it all boiled down to was one simple question: was he willing to risk losing Rachel as a friend when he wasn’t sure if he was ready for any other kind of a relationship?
CHAPTER SIX
‘I KNOW it will mean extra work for us all, but after what happened today with Melanie and baby Charlie, I honestly feel that it would be worth it. If we can prevent another near-tragedy from happening, it has to be a good thing, don’t you agree?’
Rachel waited for Matt to answer, hoping that he would see the benefits of her proposal. She hadn’t realised how passionately she felt about the idea until she had explained it to him. Now she could only hope that he would share her enthusiasm.
‘I think it makes an awful lot of sense,’ he said slowly. ‘Yes, it will entail extra work, especially while we set everything up, but the flip side is that we may not get so many callouts or visits to the surgery. Once the younger mums gain more confidence, they will be less likely to call us in unnecessarily.’
‘Exactly!’ Rachel beamed at him, delighted that he had taken her ideas on board. Not that Matt had a closed mind when it came to any new ventures; he was always open to fresh ideas that would benefit their patients. It was one of the things she had always admired about him, his willingness to listen and learn, but there again there were so many other things to admire that it was hard to select just one from the whole delicious package.
She cleared her throat, aware how easily her mind could run off at a tangent if she let it. ‘There may be funding available too. I’ll need to check on that. But if we could get some sort of a grant, we could buy in extra help as and when it’s needed—a midwife to speak to the mums before they give birth, maybe a health visitor or even one of the more experienced mothers to offer practical day-to-day advice—that type of thing. I know some of those services are available already but I get the impression that the younger mums in particular don’t feel there is enough help on offer to them.’
‘I get the same impression. In fact, one of my patient
s mentioned only the other day that all the new mums get nowadays by way of guidance are three one-hour sessions before their babies are born. They’re supposed to cover everything during that time from the birth right through to the end of the baby’s first year.’
‘Is that all?’ Rachel exclaimed. ‘It definitely isn’t enough, especially not for the very young mums like Melanie. They need a lot more support than that to prepare them for motherhood.’
‘They do. I imagine you’re particularly keen to help them because of your own experiences,’ Matt suggested quietly.
‘You’re right, I am. I know what it’s like to feel out of your depth, even though I was one of the lucky ones and had my parents to help me.’
‘Then if you feel so strongly about it, Rachel, we’ll see about setting it up as soon as possible.’ He glanced at his watch and grimaced. ‘Now I’m afraid I’ll have to cut and run. It’s my turn for the antenatal clinic so maybe we can continue this discussion later. There’s still a lot of ground we need to cover.’
Rachel checked her desk diary and shook her head. ‘I won’t be able to fit it in today, I’m afraid. I’ve got the anti-smoking clinic this afternoon so I’ll be tied up until evening surgery begins. That clinic always seems to run over time for some reason.’
‘How about tonight, then?’ Matt stood up to leave. ‘If we hope to secure sufficient funding for this scheme to go ahead, we need to work the costs into next year’s budget. The figures are due in at the end of January so we’ll have to get a move on.’
‘If you’re sure you don’t mind,’ she began hesitantly, not wanting him to suspect how much the idea appealed to her. Spending another evening with him was something she hadn’t anticipated and her heart was kicking up a storm at the prospect.
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