See? If that ain’t proof yore notions about Logan Chance are clouding yore vision, nothin’ will be.
She heard a heavy pounding on the door and walked around to the front of the house to find out who was causing the ruckus. She tried to ignore the flutter of hope that Logan had come back, but her heart clenched when she saw Nate Rucker instead.
“It’s time, Hattie!” Nate grabbed hold of her shoulder with one powerful hand and scooted her through the door Daisy had opened. His eyes were wide and frantic. “Abigail’s havin’ the babe!”
“It’s all right, Abby,” Miz Willow crooned. “Breathe in and out, long and slow. That’s it. The cramps’ll let up in jist a minute.”
“Hoo.” Abigail let out a shaky breath, her eyes screwed tightly shut. “Ooh.” She fell back against the chair as the pangs subsided. “That one were powerful fierce.”
“You’ve got a bit afore the next one will come on.” Hattie laid clean towels on the bed before pulling up the sheets and laying more towels for good measure. She went to the kettle to pour some motherwort tea.
Abigail sipped some of it before handing the mug back. “I’d like to walk a bit.”
“Whatever makes you more comfortable,” Miz Willow agreed.
“I’ve given up on comfortable,” Abigail gritted out before doubling over with another onset of cramps.
“Yore doin’ jist fine.” Hattie held Abigail’s arm to support her. “Think on yore precious babe. Yore gonna make a fine mother, Abby.”
“I hope so.” Abigail straightened up and paced around the cabin, letting gravity do its work.
“I know so,” Miz Willow declared. Awhile later, Abigail’s cramps were coming on much faster. She’d been in labor for nearly nine hours.
“I reckon it’s time we git you to the bed, Abby.” Hattie helped Abigail out of the rocking chair and winced at how tightly Abby clenched her hand as a spasm rocked her body. “Won’t be long now.”
“It’s already been long enough,” Abby moaned as she was put in bed. “Did Nate bring the ax?”
“Yes, Abby. It’s under yore bed already to holp cut the pain.” Hattie didn’t know exactly how having an ax under the bed would help, but the thought seemed to comfort women in labor.
“Now, Abby,” Miz Willow instructed after she examined the woman, “when the next one comes, I want you to push. Do you hear me?”
“Yes.” Abby gritted her teeth and bore down immediately. The pain lasted longer, but the babe hadn’t come yet.
“Now keep on pushing as hard as you cain every time you git the urge.” Hattie mopped Abby’s brow as she spoke.
About an hour later, Abigail’s strength was flagging. “I don’t think I cain push anymore,” she wailed, tears trailing down her cheeks and splashing onto her nightgown.
“Shore you cain, honey!” Li’l Nate roared his encouragement through the shut door. From the sound of it, he’d been pacing back and forth the whole time, letting out groans when Abby yelled with the pain.
“You don’t know what yore talkin’ ’bout, Nathaniel Rucker.” Abigail sat up and bellowed back. “Jist hobble yore mouth!”
“Yes, dear.” Nate obeyed meekly. Hattie heard the sound of his boots as he started pacing again.
“One more time, Abby,” Hattie encouraged. “Push as hard as you cain and don’t stop until we say.”
“AAARRRGGGH!” Abigail hollered as she pushed through the pain. The babe’s cry hovered in the air.
A few minutes later, Abigail leaned back against the pillows, panting from exertion, her eyes closed. She smiled when Hattie laid the baby in her arms.
“I’m comin’ in!” Nate pounded on the door.
“No yore not, Nate. You know the rule. New father waits half an hour before comin’ in.” Miz Willow’s dictum gave the midwives enough time to clean up the mother and the baby and gave the woman some time to rest up before her man saw her. Only then would he find out whether he’d been given a son or daughter. That was the mother’s news to tell.
Abigail will fill my old home with love and laughter and children, Hattie thought. It’s only right to celebrate that. I won’t think about how I never had the joy of telling my husband I’d given him a baby lad or lass. ’Twasn’t to be so and never will be.
Chapter 21
Logan stood at the counter of the biggest mercantile he’d ever seen. He’d been walking around the place for almost an hour now. The checker sets and nativities had sold in the two days, and Jack had ordered more. Logan would be coming back with good news for Otis, Asa, and the twins. But first he needed to pick up a few things to help get them going.
“What’ve you got here?” The proprietor wheezed and rubbed his hands together, like he was counting his money in his mind before Logan even gave it to him.
“Two whittling knives, one extra-large leather apron, four traps, a bolt of blue cotton, two cans of varnish, and a sack of peppermint sticks.” Logan looked at the items and checked the list he and Bryce had thought up.
Asa and Otis would get a knife and can of varnish each. Li’l Nate needed a bigger leather apron, and the traps would go to the Trevor twins. He’d added the peppermint sticks for Hattie—she liked to use them to stir her tea. He figured that Hattie’s friend whose house had burned down could put the fabric to good use. That made him think of all the things Lovejoy and the women had bought back in Reliable.
“Can I get a comb, a brush, a pack of needles, and a few spools of your finest thread in white, black, and blue?” Logan knew he probably hadn’t thought of everything, but it was the best he could do at the moment.
“Sure. Anything else?”
“Yeah.” Logan took a deep breath. “Do you carry wedding rings?”
Two hours later he sat in yet another train car, heading back to Salt Lick Holler. He kept sticking his hand in his shirtfront pocket to finger the small gold band inside, making sure it was still there. In a matter of days, he’d be back in Salt Lick Holler, where he could get down on one knee and ask Hattie to become his bride.
“I’m home!” Logan all but shouted it through the front door.
No, you’re not, Logan Chance. This isn’t yore real home, and I have to remember it even if you don’t.
“Well, git on in here so we cain see iff ’n you still look the same!” Miz Willow called back.
Hattie had forgotten how tall he was until he had to stoop a little to get through the doorway. Had he been so handsome and dynamic the last time she saw him? Surely not. Hattie grabbed the fennel seed tea she’d put together for Abigail Rucker. It would help her milk to come after yesterday’s birthing.
“Hello, Hattie.” The nerve of that man to smile at her like that after he’d up and left without a word of explanation! No scapegrace smile was going to make up for his leaving her and abandoning the people she’d entrusted to him.
“Welcome back, Logan.” She gave him a perfunctory smile. “Miz Willow will introduce you to Daisy and Jamie while I run over to the Ruckers’. Abigail delivered her son yesterday.” She slipped through the door without waiting for anyone to stop her.
She all but stomped in her frustration as she made her way to Abigail’s home. It wasn’t as though she’d expected him to frown when he got back, but to smile as though all was right in the world was too much.
That’s not what’s really upsetting me, she admitted to herself. Even after what he did, after he let me down for a pleasure trip to Charleston, I still responded to his smile. It warmed me clear down to my toes before I pulled myself together. Logan Chance is downright dangerous. How could I have forgotten how charming he is? I’ll have to guard myself against him until he leaves for good.
Hattie ignored the sharp pang in her chest at the thought. I’m jist winded. I’ve been walking so fast. That’s all. Nothing more. She could already see the Rucker place! Hattie took a calming breath before knocking on the door and giving Nate the tea. She stayed to chat with Abby and make sure everything was going well.
“He’s sleepin’ awful deep. Not very hungry,” the new mother said worriedly.
“That’s normal. It usually takes a day or so, Abby,” Hattie reassured her. “I brung you some fennel seed tea to holp you make plenty of milk.”
“Thankee, Hattie.” Abigail turned to Nate. “Nate, let Hattie hold Bitty Nate.” She smiled happily. “His papa will hardly put him down for a minute.”
“That’s right.” Nate cuddled his son close for a second before carefully handing him to Hattie.
She nestled the tiny babe close to her heart. He smelled like just-dried laundry and newness. His tiny hands and even tinier fingernails were perfect and pink and clean. Dark swirls of hair wisped over the top of his head, and he let out a big yawn from his tiny mouth before dropping off to sleep.
Hattie cherished the moment, snuggling close to the baby and feeling his warm weight in her arms. She’d never have a babe of her own, but she’d been a part of bringing this precious child into the world yesterday. It was enough. It had to be.
Logan waited for Hattie to come back from the Rucker place. He’d walked a ways up so they’d be able to talk in private, but he wasn’t sure how well the meeting was going to go.
She didn’t seem glad to see me. Why did she leave the second I got back, like she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as me? Is she nursing the grievance that I left? Did it hurt her so badly? Wouldn’t that mean she cared for me, if she missed me that much? Will she let me make it up to her?
The questions flooded his mind as he held the ring, warming it in his hands while he waited for Hattie to walk down the road—hopefully into his arms. If felt as though he’d waited for months when he finally saw her coming along the path. She stopped for a moment when she caught sight of him, and something flickered across her face before she kept walking.
“I’ve been waiting for you, Hattie.” Logan’s voice sounded gruff to his own ears, but the words had a double meaning. He hadn’t just waited for her today by the side of the road—he’d been waiting to love her for his entire life.
“I cain see that.” Hattie didn’t look at him, and she kept walking.
“Hey, hold up a minute!” He fell into step beside her. “There’s something I need to talk with you about.”
“Right now?”
“Yes. Now.” He guided her over to a fallen log so they could sit down. “Why are you trying to get away from me, Hattie?”
“I…” She sighed. “Why don’t you say what you have to say, Logan?”
“I know you don’t understand why I left,” he began.
“No, I don’t,” she stated flatly.
“And I can’t tell you yet,” Logan continued.
“I didn’t ask you to.”
“It’s a matter of honor,” he tried to explain. “I can’t tell you until I’ve told the others first. I gave my word.”
“And what of yore promise to me, Logan?” She spoke the question softly, but it demanded an answer. “I entrusted you with the holler while I was away.”
“Hattie.” He took her hands in his. “You have to believe me. I didn’t leave from the holler. I left for the holler. I can see now that my leaving hurt you, Hattie.” He looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry for that.”
“You couldn’t have waited one day?” The small whisper nearly broke his heart.
“No. It would have meant waiting for more than a week. I had to follow through with my responsibilities.”
“Fine, Logan.” She tried to stand up, but he held on tight.
“I came back to you, Hattie.” Silently he begged for her to understand. “I love you. I want you to become my wife.” He brought out the ring and tried to slide it onto her finger.
“No!” She pushed him away. “I cared for you. I trusted you to keep yore word to me, to take care of the others I love. Instead, you went hieing off to Charleston. I cain’t give my hand and heart to a man who gallivants off whenever the notion takes him.” She wiped furiously at her tears. “You spoke of responsibilities. I have many. Even if I did trust that you wouldn’t take off and leave me, I cain’t marry you and leave my people.”
“Hattie!” He tried to stop her, but she ran off. He sank down onto the log.
How did I mess everything up so badly? How can she think I would willingly hurt her and abandon the people she loves? Should I explain myself, or is this Your answer, Lord? I can’t wed a woman who doesn’t trust me. I thought Hattie and I shared something special. Where do we go from here, Lord? I love her.
Hattie ran until she had no more breath and sank down underneath a white pine, sobs wracking her body.
He wants to marry me, and I said no! I love him, and still I said no! Lord, I cain’t leave the holler. I know the work and purpose You’ve given me. But I ache, Jesus. I love him, but I cain’t rely on him. He’s not grown enough to truly understand responsibility. I cain’t wed a boy with a wandering spirit and a charming smile. How soon would that smile fade and take him away forever—especially when he found out I’d bear him no children?
Father, I’ve done my level best to make peace and be content with what You give me. Why do You put temptation in my path? Why put this love in my heart if I cain’t do anything about it? I yearn for a family, Lord. Why am I to be denied a husband? My first marriage held precious little love, and here a man is promising to care for me. And I love him, too. Why do I love the one man who will leave me or force me to leave the place You’ve given me? I don’t understand, but I’m trying so hard to follow Yore will. I love him, but it cain never be. Why?
She whispered again in a broken sob that carried away on the wind, “Why?”
Chapter 22
So how’d it go?” Bryce asked later that night as they were heading back to the barn.
Worse than I ever could have imagined. Logan realized there was no possible way Bryce could know he’d proposed to Hattie—and been rejected.
“What?” He shook his head to clear it.
“Charleston? Frank Tarhill?” Bryce looked at him strangely. “You know, the whole trip. You took off for a walk right after you got back, so you haven’t told me what happened.”
“It went well.” Logan managed a smile at the thought of telling the guys tomorrow. “Frank wants more checker sets and nativities. Bart will take the furs on an ongoing basis for an appreciable fee increase. I also got everything on the list so they could get started. Frank and Bart already paid me for the first installment.”
“That’s the best news I’ve heard all week.” Bryce grinned. “Do we get to tell everybody tomorrow?”
Logan thought about how upset he’d made Hattie that evening. It’d be a good idea to give her some space and give them both time to think. He nodded at Bryce.
The next morning they set out to see Otis Nye. They found him squinting at a carved owl, which was squinting right back.
“If you’re in the middle of a staring contest, I have to tell you, Otis, I don’t think you’re going to win.” Bryce grinned as he said it.
“Listen up, whippersnapper,” Otis growled. “I could out-stare you anytime, anyplace.”
“I’ll have to take you up on that someday.” Bryce laughed. “But for now, Logan here came to talk business.”
“Oh?” Otis raised one scraggly white eyebrow.
“How many of those checkerboards do you think you can make, Otis?”
“I’ll be.” A smile broke out across the old man’s craggy face.
“This is your cut for the first two—they both already sold.” Logan handed him a small bag.
Otis opened it with shaky hands, and his mouth dropped open in disbelief. He peered at Logan suspiciously.
“What are you tryin’ to pull?” He pulled himself up and flung the bag back at Logan. “You tryin’ to make me a charity case? Git out.”
“No.” Logan tossed the bag back. “Take that, divide it by two. That’s how much you get for every checkerboard that you make and Frank Tarhill sells. He’s getting just as much profit as
you are—more, in fact, since you put in all the time. He’ll pay for the freight costs.”
“Glory be.” The old man turned the coins over in his blue-veined hands. “Thankee, Logan Chance. You, too, Bryce. You tell that Frank fella he jist has to tell me how many he needs.”
After giving Otis his new whittling knife and a can of varnish, Logan and Bryce took their leave. They still had to visit the Pleasants and the Trevors. They came across Asa first.
“Mornin’, Asa.” Logan tried to sound happy in spite of his busted heart.
“Good to see you, Logan. Bryce.” Asa gestured for them to come closer. “What’s the word?” Cautious hope flickered in the man’s eyes as Logan and Bryce grinned at him.
“Frank Tarhill’s customers loved the nativities. He sold two in three days and had another woman come in asking after them.” Logan handed him his money. “She paid in advance, so you’ve already got an order to fill. This is your share of the profits off the three sets.”
“You wouldn’t be pulling my leg, would you, boys?” Asa looked at the cash in shock.
“Nope.” Logan clapped him on the back. “Frank wants to know how many you can make per month and still have them be of the same quality.”
“I don’t know.” Asa shook his head in disbelief. “It were jist a hobby afore. He wants more? At this price?”
“That’s right. Frank thinks they’ll sell particularly well around Christmas, so he wants you to be ready to fill a big order by winter.” Logan grinned. “He says that since you put in all the work for half the profit, he’ll pay for the freight costs.”
“By the way,” Bryce added, “Otis Nye carves mighty fine checkerboards. Frank’s put in an order for those, too.” He handed Asa another whittling knife and can of varnish, just as they’d given to Otis. “We figure you two might keep each other company while you work sometime.”
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