Slowly Luke nodded. Yes, he liked being in control of himself and over Krish. Inhaling deeply, he exhaled heavily. Now that he had admitted it to himself he needed to know where this would take them.
Would Krish expect this every time they had sex? Was it a one-off? Would there be scenes that they would need to sit down and discuss before they played together?
He understood BDSM. Ben and Geoff enjoyed that lifestyle, even going to a club where they were members. Ben had surprised Luke originally when he'd admitted that he enjoyed giving up control and handing it over to Geoff.
In a way, Luke could understand. The life they'd had on the streets had been stressful and difficult. Doing things to survive and being someone you weren't. For him, he wanted to be in control. More control than he'd ever been in before. Even though he and Ben had experienced similar situations on the street, they both came away from it wanting different experiences.
Ben wanted to give up control, whereas Luke wanted to gain it. Ben had found that with Geoff, and now almost four years later, their relationship was still going strong and showing no signs of deteriorating, for which Luke was grateful. Ben had been through so much, and now to see him happy and content made Luke happy for him.
But he wanted that for himself as well. Glancing down at Krish, where he lay sleeping on his chest, he lifted his hand, running his fingers through his hair again and enjoying the sensation of it between them. Could he have that with Krish? After last night, Luke came away knowing two things. Krish liked to submit, and he liked to dominate.
As he thought before, a revelation, a part of himself he'd never known existed had been revealed.
Thinking back to the BDSM aspect, Luke again stared up at the ceiling. Would they need a contract and safe words?
He shook his head again. There was so much he didn't know, and the only way he was going to find out would be to talk to Krish. Lying here in bed and thinking about all the situations and scenarios that may occur wouldn't help him at all. Only Krish could provide him with the information he needed.
What had really surprised him was the fact that he'd been able to give Krish a blow job. He'd never expected to be able to go through with it, but he'd wanted to try. And he was glad that he had. Nothing was better than seeing Krish in the throes of passion.
He lay quietly, stroking his fingers through Krish's hair, waiting patiently for him to wake up, and it wasn't long before he did. He heard the change in his breathing and his body as it moved slightly and Luke dropped his hand from Krish's hair.
Krish's head slowly lifted, and he opened his eyes, blinking up at Luke. He saw the relaxed smile Krish gave him, and when he didn't immediately smile back, he saw the tension creep into his face.
Lifting his hand again, he palmed Krish's cheek. "Morning."
Krish breathed out. "Hi," he whispered back.
"Do you want to go out for some breakfast?"
Krish nodded and rolled onto his back, away from Luke before stretching his arms above his head. Luke watched him wince slightly, then glance back up at him, smiling ruefully.
"You feeling okay?"
Krish blushed. "Just a little sore, that's all."
Luke frowned, his eyebrows drawing down. "Did I hurt you?"
"No!" Krish shook his head rapidly. "It was what I wanted, and I enjoyed every second of it."
Luke exhaled heavily. "Thank God."
"You haven't been lying there thinking about it, have you?"
Luke snorted, glancing away, feeling his face flushed with heat. "Maybe," he mumbled.
Krish rolled onto his side, his head on his hand, staring down at Luke. "Okay. It's all right. You gave me what I wanted. In fact, I was a little worried that you wouldn't be able to." Luke watched Krish run his hand over his chest, and Luke's muscles clenched in response. "We never really discussed it, except the fact that you knew I like to bottom and I like to give up control. You probably thought I meant something else. We should have talked properly."
"Maybe." Luke smiled in return. "I wasn't quite expecting that, but my friend, Ben, he likes that, so I do know a little about it."
"Let's have a shower, get dressed, and go get some breakfast. There's a pub down the road that makes a great breakfast. We can find a spot and talk about last night. What do you say?"
Luke nodded and sat up when Krish did. "Shower together or separate?"
Krish smiled, glancing over at Luke. "Oh, I think together, don't you?" Krish waggled his eyebrows. "Imagine all the fun we can have, both of us all wet and slippery."
Luke laughed, shaking his head. "Okay."
They both got out of bed, Krish grabbing a couple of towels, and Luke followed him into the bathroom. Once the water was nice and hot, they both stepped in, and Luke realised how small it was. It was a tight squeeze for them both to fit in it.
As the water cascaded over them, Krish lowered his head, biting and kissing Luke's neck, sucking on the skin. Luke's eyes closed, and he moaned, enjoying the sensation. He heard Krish move around and then felt his hands on him, all wet and slippery, covering him in shower gel. Krish's hands moved over Luke's body, and he stepped closer to him. His hand moved around to the front and grabbed both of their dicks in a tight grip. Luke moaned again when Krish stroked them slowly. Krish's other hand began fondling Luke's balls, moving them around with his fingers.
Luke leaned back in the shower stall, the cold tiles against his warm, wet back, and he shivered slightly at the contrast in temperature, goosebumps appearing on his skin.
Luke tilted his head, giving Krish more access as he continued to kiss and bite his neck. Krish's grip tightened on his hard cock and Luke groaned loudly, the strokes gaining speed.
His balls tightened, pulling up, and he could feel a tingling in his balls spreading up his shaft. "I'm close," he whispered. "Make me come."
Krish obeyed, gripping them tighter, his hand moving faster. As the tingling erupted up his shaft, Luke arched his back, standing up on tiptoe. Ropes of come erupted from his cock, splashing up his abdomen and chest, and he groaned harshly, his legs shaking as his orgasm flowed over him.
He was dimly aware of Krish groaning too and Krish's hand tightening almost painfully on their dicks as he continued to stroke them through their orgasm. As his orgasm ended, Luke panted, slumping back on the shower wall. His legs still shook, and for a second, Luke wasn't sure if they would hold him up, but then Krish leaned forward, letting go of their dicks and wrapping his arms around Luke's waist, pulling his body towards him, holding him tight. Luke lifted his arms up and wrapped them around Krish's shoulders, his fingers threading through Krish's hair.
They stood like that for a minute, enjoying the closeness until eventually Luke pulled back and looked up into Krish's face. "Come on, Krish. Let's get clean, and then we can go and have some breakfast and talk."
Krish smiled slightly at him and then reached past him to grab the shower gel again. Luke stood as Krish washed them both and then rinsed them. When he switched the shower off, Krish stepped out first, grabbed a towel and handed it to Luke before getting one himself. Luke smiled to himself. It was almost like Krish was taking care of him.
In the bedroom, they quickly changed, and it wasn't long before they were outside the house walking down the street towards the pub Krish had mentioned. As it was a Saturday, there were a few people already sat eating when they entered, but they were able to find a table out of the way where they would be able to talk.
Krish went up to the bar and ordered breakfast and drinks for them both. When he sat down, they both stared at each other for a few seconds before Krish chuckled. He leaned forward on the table, looking at Luke. "I guess I surprised you last night?"
Luke swallowed and smiled. "Just a little."
"I should have said something before we got this far, but to be honest, I never thought we would." Krish shrugged.
Luke nodded. "Yeah, I know." Mirroring Krish's action, Luke also leaned forward on the table. "You know about my t
ime on the streets." He waited until Krish nodded. "That was the reason why I swore off men. I was never going to be involved with a man again. I was never going to let one fuck me." Luke glanced around the pub for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts. "This is a surprise to me too. I never expected to be sat here with you." Luke then muttered, "The morning after the night before."
"Was it too much?"
Chapter Twenty
Please don't let it be too much.
Krish bit his lip, waiting for Luke to respond. Luke was avoiding his gaze, glancing around the pub. Krish watched Luke take a few deep breaths before his eyes finally looked back in his direction.
"No, it's not too much. Just... I never thought I would be in this position, you know? With everything I've been through, I had signed myself off to men. I was never going to be with a man again, and then you came along, and it surprised me." Luke stopped talking, glancing past Krish and Krish glanced over his shoulder, seeing a waitress appear with their food. They waited as she put the plates on the table and walked away.
Krish looked back at Luke, who was staring at the food on his plate and fiddling with his cutlery. "I want this. I just don't know what this is," Luke admitted.
Krish nodded. He should have spoken more in depth before starting this, before having sex. "What do you want to do then?"
"I need to know what your likes and dislikes are, what your boundaries are so I don't overstep them. I mean, do you want me to tie you up and beat you, or do you want to invite people in to watch or join us? I know certain aspects of the scene but not a lot."
"You're talking about BDSM, aren't you?"
Luke nodded. "Yeah, I am."
"I'm not into that. I'll admit that I like to give up control to my partner in bed, and I like to be tied up, and I like toys," Krish whispered, glancing away and rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. He could feel his face flush. He was embarrassed talking about this, but he knew they needed to. "I don't want to be tied up and whipped or flogged or whatever you want to call it. I'm not into pain at all or public scenes. Whatever I want to do will be between my partner and me and only us."
"So you like to give up control, you like to be tied up, and you like toys. Yeah?"
Krish nodded. "Yeah, that's about it."
Luke nodded, picked up his cutlery and began eating his food. Krish did the same, glancing up occasionally at Luke and watching his reactions. Luke continued to eat his food, and after a few minutes, he put his knife and fork down, resting his elbows on the table and putting his chin in his hands. "Control, toys and bondage. What about cock rings, plugs, sounding, docking?"
Krish paused, his fork hanging in the air, his mouth slightly open. "Er, what?"
"Sounding, docking. That kind of thing."
Krish shook his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Luke nodded, picking up his cutlery. "Okay, it gives me something to look into."
"The...What... Okay?"
"Is this something you'll want every time we have sex?"
"No, but I do prefer it. Sometimes you could just tell me to strip and fuck me, no play involved. I like that too."
Krish continued to watch Luke, trying to judge his mood by the expressions on his face. Once Luke had finished, he put his cutlery down on his plate, pushed the plate to one side, and leaned on the table.
Krish did the same, and they sat staring at each other. "Tell me now if this is something you can't do. I don't want this to progress, and eventually, at some point, you say to me that you only did it to please me and you never enjoyed it." Krish mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands.
"No, I can do this."
Krish looked up, his mouth falling open. Luke sounded so positive, so sure, and that surprised him. "You sure?"
"Absolutely. I did what I had to do on the streets, and at times, I felt like the man... He was in control like I had no choice but to do those things. Here, I'm in control, and I like that. I also admire the way that you can just hand over control to me, and I promise you, Krish, I will never betray that trust. I know what it feels like..." Luke looked away, and Krish reached forward to grip Luke's hand in his own. "There was this punter, bigger than me, but they all were. He wanted to fist me, but I said no, and he didn't want to take that as an answer. We fought, and I thought he was going to... He stopped. I never knew why. He pushed me out the car, slammed the door and drove off quickly, leaving me on the ground." Luke took a few deep breaths, and then continued. "I was so scared. I knew he was going to do things to me that I didn't want him to do. I thought he was going to rape me. I wouldn't have been able to report it. Because I was a rent boy and they can't be raped, can they?"
Krish squeezed Luke's hand, trying to offer some small amount of comfort. "I'm so sorry, Luke. I don't know what to say."
"It doesn't matter now. It's gone. It's history and I'm in a new, better place now. I only told you because I wanted you to understand why I feel the way that I do and why I appreciate what you're offering me."
Krish sighed, closing his eyes. Luke understood, and it didn't disgust him. "So, you'll be able to do this for me?"
Luke nodded. "Yeah, we can go online and buy things, you know?" Luke smirked at Krish.
Krish felt his face heat up, and he knew he was blushing. "That wouldn't bother you?"
"No." Luke shook his head. "Not at all."
"We won't dive straight in. We can take it slow and go at a pace that you're happy with."
"You really are something, aren't you? Even though you'll be the one giving up control, you want to make sure that I'll be all right with it."
"I just don't want you to do something you won't feel comfortable doing. After everything you've experienced, I just want you to be happy with this."
Luke gave him one of his bright smiles, and Krish knew that everything would be all right between them. "Just answer me one question. When did you realise that you needed to give up control?"
Krish sat back in his chair, rubbing his chin with his hand. He wasn't sure how to answer that question. There hadn't been a specific time when he'd become aware. He'd just known that it was there.
He shook his head, looking at Luke. "I don't know. I just knew when I was with my first real boyfriend that what we were doing wasn't enough for me and that I needed something more. But we were young, so we didn't know what we were doing. I mean, at that age, you're not even sure how to do anal sex properly, and I'll be honest, the first time hurt." Krish winced, remembering his first, fumbled and painful attempts at anal sex. "But, I think I slowly figured things out with my next boyfriend. We were together for eighteen months, and I think by the end of it, I knew that I liked giving up control in the bedroom. That I liked someone else being dominant."
Krish trailed off, not knowing what else to say. He was glad Luke understood and wasn't repulsed by the need he had to be dominated.
"Want to go shopping?" Luke asked.
Krish chuckled. "Right. We've just been talking about tying me up, and you want to go shopping?"
"Not for that!" Luke smiled. "I thought we could go out into the city and spend a few hours together."
Krish nodded. "Are we still on for tonight as well?"
"Yeah. Do you want me to stay tonight?" Luke asked, glancing away.
Krish smiled. After what they'd done together last night, it was nice to see Luke's shyness. It was one of the things that had first drawn him. And now knowing his past, Krish admired the fact that Luke had been able to retain some of his innocence. Innocence wasn't the right word under the circumstances, but he still had the ability to be shy and unsure, and it drew Krish.
"Of course I do."
Luke glanced up at him and smiled again, and they sat watching each other for a few seconds before they both chuckled.
Standing, Krish reached out his hand, and Luke stood, taking it. "Come on, let's go into the city."
❊❊❊
They spent the rest of the morning walking around the city ce
ntre window shopping. When it became too busy for them, they decided to leave. They said goodbye, knowing they would be meeting later, and Luke walked towards his. He glanced over his shoulder frequently, seeing Krish watching him as he too walked away.
Today had been another revelation. Being open with himself and admitting what he liked made Luke feel more comfortable in his skin. He definitely needed to talk to Ben more, just for his own peace of mind. He knew he was happy with Krish and was happy with what Krish wanted from their relationship. He wanted to be in control. He liked being in control.
In his bedroom, Luke lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, a place he found himself regularly. He had some work to get done, assignments to complete, and then he would be spending the night at Krish's. His stomach was full of butterflies when he thought of the time they would spend together, knowing that they are going to have sex. His cock hardened in his jeans and Luke adjusted it, trying to push it into a more comfortable position. He contemplated jacking off but decided to wait.
A smile formed on his face. He would make Krish do it for him. He was certain that Krish would enjoy it, being ordered to make him come.
He sat up and walked over to his desk, pulling out his assignments. Sighing heavily at the amount of work he had, Luke thought about the night ahead. He gripped his pen in his hand, breathing heavily. He couldn't wait. He couldn't wait to be with Krish. But he needed to make a call first. Leaving a message, Luke started on the pile of work sat on his desk.
He found it difficult to concentrate on his work, his thoughts constantly straying to Krish and his plans for that night, but after a few hours work, he'd finally done what he needed to and he stood, stretching his arms above his head. His shoulders and back ached from being bent over his desk, and he rolled them backwards, tilting his neck from side to side to ease the stiffness.
He quickly packed a bag for the night and left his bedroom. In the living room, he found Seb, Tom, Matt, and Josh all watching TV. Now that things were more settled between the four of them, they regularly spent a Saturday night together or with Ben and Geoff. Either at one another's house, or going out for a meal, or to the cinema.
Breaking Free (Second Chances Book 4) Page 12