by Dizzy Girl
Sunny grinned. He held out his arms and I snuggled in for a hug. I could hear his heart beat, and it felt like music. I found myself telling him about how Patrick had scared me. He sat back and looked at me. “Are you sure he didn’t hurt you?”
“No, he didn’t. He just confirmed what a good decision it was to leave” I assured him.
He looked me up and down, as if making sure with his own eyes that I wasn’t injured.
“Honestly” I told him. “I’m ok, just shaken. But I handled it, and that felt good.”
“Maybe I’ll ring my colleagues at his local station. Get them to keep an eye on him. He sounds like he’s going to get himself into trouble one of these days.”
“I fear you’re right” I said. “And if you could persuade them to stop him for speeding, search him a few times, as intimately as possible, or just knock on his door at three am and pretend they’d had phone calls to check him out, that would be great.”
“I wish I could babe” he said. “Apart from that did you have a nice weekend?”
“I did. But I missed you. And that run in was just one more piece of stress than I had the energy for. Lucy said I was moping too much to be good company anyway so I thought I’d come home and come and see you” I said.
“It’s lucky I happened to come round when I did then” Sunny said. “My shift starts in an hour and we’ve seen each other so little this week I thought I’d come on the off chance that you were back.”
“So your mum didn’t tell you that I knocked round earlier?” I asked, even though it was clear that she hadn’t.
Sunny shook his head.
“I don’t think she likes me” I said.
“Not this again” Sunny said, taking his arm from around me and standing up off the bed.
“I asked for you but she didn’t say a word, just stared at me til I left.”
“She is just jetlagged still” he said.
“She’s been here a week” I countered, feeling petulant and defensive.
“And her English is rusty, you know that.”
“She was fluent enough before she went away, and she was only gone a few years. You weren’t rusty when you came home were you?”
I knew I was putting him in an awkward position, wanting to defend his mum but not wanting to fight with me. I just couldn’t let go of it though, Pamela had only been back a week and we were at each other’s throats. Did this mean we weren’t as perfect for each other as I’d thought?
Chapter Twenty One
Monday morning dragged, and no amount of coffee could get me feeling energetic. I’d almost fallen asleep in team meeting, and my boss called me aside afterwards to ask if I was ok. I hated how much I was letting the stress get to me, and resolved to try and be stronger.
I went for a walk at lunchtime, taking in the new buildings that had gone up since I’d first worked here. My first Saturday job, when I was seventeen, had been in a bakery only five minutes around the corner from where I worked now. It had been awful, rubbish pay, lots of running round and being told that I wasn’t working hard enough by my boss. But at least I’d been allowed to take the unsold cakes home at the end of the day. Mark had been a frequent visitor on days I’d worked there. Of course, Sunny by then was long gone.
There were more high rise apartment blocks in the distance, but otherwise the people looked similar, and life seemed to have carried on as it ever had here. I felt changed inside though, weary and worn down.
The exercise helped. Fresh air always did, though I think what I’d breathed in might well have been ninety per cent bus exhaust. I sat at my desk and opened the draft partnership agreement I’d been working on earlier. I typed a few more words, then called up the word count. One hundred and fifty words in an hour. At least I’d doubled the word count that I’d managed in three hours that morning.
My mobile rang, and I didn’t feel my usual excitement that it might have been Sunny calling. Lucky really, as it wasn’t. I could feel Charlie’s happiness, it felt like being bathed in sunshine, and I found myself actually smiling.
“So they’ve got a cancellation and they’ve offered us it for in three weeks’ time. What do you think?”
“Start again” I told her. I could sense her joy but I’d missed everything she’d told me up til that point.
“The hotel Mark and I wanted to get married in, they were booked solid for the next year and we’d started to look for somewhere else. I was gutted, but they just rang me. They’ve had someone pull out, cold feet or something. Well sad for them for yay for me.” She giggled. “They’re offering a fat discount if we book it, but the problem is it’s in three weeks’ time.”
“That’s good isn’t it?” I asked. “You guys really want to get married.”
I heard her take a deep breath and she started from the top, as if I was slow. And in fairness, I was when it came to weddings.
“We do want to get married, but it helps if you have things like a cake, or invites so your guests know where to go, or a bloody dress.”
I started to understand why she sounded so hyper. “That sounds like a lot of work.”
“It bloody is” she said, “Mark thinks I’m mad, but I said we’d do it.”
“Congratulations” I said.
“Thanks, but that’s why I’m ringing. I remember from school how organised you used to be, and Mark says you’re good with money.” I stared at the spreadsheets on my desk that I should have sent to my boss yesterday.
“Can you help us?” she asked.
“I’d be honoured” I said.
“Great” Charlie said. “We’re having a planning meeting at Sunny’s at seven, his mum is cooking. See you there.” And she hung up. I started to look forward to another evening with the joy of Pamela’s company. I decided to buy some ice cream to take with me. I could claim I was being kind by providing dessert, and then if nothing else I knew I’d have comfort food on hand.
I only got another seventy five words written that afternoon, but I did manage to find a few websites and print out lists of things that were apparently essential to weddings. I’d always enjoyed going to weddings, but I’d never appreciated before how much thought must have gone into planning them. I looked back with a new found sense of respect to the last one I’d been to, and wondered just how many hours had gone in to finding just the right ice sculpture to act as a centre piece. And what a shame the romantic recreation of the place where he had proposed, on top of the Eiffel Tower, had ended up looking quite so phallic as the ice had melted.
The newsagents on the high street didn’t have much of a choice of wedding magazines so I detoured on the way to Sunny’s and stopped in at the village on the way to grab a couple. I knew Mark wanted to make sure that Charlie had the wedding she dreamt of, I just wondered how helpful Sunny was going to be.
He opened the door to me and gave me a polite, but restrained, kiss on the cheek. I walked into the living room to it the centre of operations. There were piles of papers on every surface. I could only imagine how Sunny was handling the chaos.
Charlie greeted me with a huge hug. “Thank goodness you’re here” she told me. And I was relieved that someone was pleased to see me. Pamela was cooking in the kitchen and didn’t come out to say hello. Maybe she was busy. Still, she could have popped her head out to say hi when I tried to speak to her.
I walked back into the living room. Mark and Sunny were deep in conversation about where to go on Mark’s stag night and were completely oblivious, but I saw Charlie watching me. I smiled at her, and she picked up one of the magazines I’d brought.
“So where are you up to so far?” I asked her.
“Square one and nervous” she told me. “I think this might be crazy to try and get it together this quickly. It’s just when they rang they offered such a good rate, I figured that this way we could squeeze it in before the baby comes, but now I think there is so much to do. My mum has Jason for a few hours so we can plan, but every time I pick something up t
o look at I think of three more things I haven’t sorted out yet.”
“Ok” I told her, walking to the table and opening my laptop. “I found this spreadsheet online, it’s a standard list of things you might want, like favours and flowers. Then in this column you add your budget, and in this one what you’ve actually spent.”
“Ah good” Mark said, coming over to see what we were doing. “Now we can see how much over we go.” He kissed Charlie on the head and ducked out of the way as she tried to swat him.
“Just kidding, my love” he added, clearly trying to save himself from a bollocking later.
Charlie looked at my list. “I’ve got the first few of those items sorted, I’ve picked the meal out already, and the hotel have said that they have will provide all the flowers as part of our package, I just need to choose my bouquet.”
“Why don’t you start looking through the magazines” I told her, “choose one and we’ll email them a photo in a minute,” I turned to Sunny and Mark. “I know you guys had a very successful attempt at choosing clothes already.” Sunny at least had the grace to look a little sheepish at the memory. “Mark,” I continued, “isn’t your mum Scottish? Have you thought about wearing a kilt? It is smart but not quite so stuffy as a full three piece suit. I saw a really nice photo in the magazine Charlie has.”
“My gran is, yeah” Mark said, grinning. “You know, I think you might have an idea there.”
Sunny looked a bit nervous. “You mean, wear a skirt to a wedding?”
“Not a skirt, you plonker, a kilt” Mark said, “this is much, much cooler.”
Sunny didn’t look convinced, but Mark did. He opened Sunny’s laptop and starting clicking away. Within five minutes he’d found something he liked and emailed them.
“The dress is probably the biggest thing to sort” Charlie said. “It says in here,” she thrust a page of the magazine at me, “that these ones can take a year to make.”
“Maybe you can go to a few shops tomorrow and try some on?” Mark suggested. “They might have a few that they keep for last minute weddings, we can’t be the only couple to arrange things quickly.”
“Good idea” Charlie said, not looking convinced. “But how many do you think they’ll have to fit over a baby bump?” And she stretched out, showing me the rounded swell of her tummy. Though I smiled back at her, I felt a lump forming in my throat.
“I saw some nice dresses in Monsoon” I said. “Not that I was looking at wedding dresses” I added quickly. I looked at Sunny but he looked away. “I was looking for smart outfit for my event a few weeks back. They had some beautiful gowns, they looked elegant and floaty. I’m sure they’d have something that would fit over a bump.” I hoped I’d managed to word that carefully enough not to make Charlie think I’d called her big. I loaded up their website and showed Charlie a few photos. Mark walked over to have a look at Charlie turned the screen away from him.
“No peeking” she warned him, as she pointed at a beautiful dress to show me. It was ivory, lacy with thin straps. She would look beautiful in it. I nodded to her, and she winked at me.
“Invites” I shouted loudly.
“Taken care of” Mark said. It isn’t quite the same, but given the short notice we’ve had to compromise there and just ring and email people. We didn’t have time to print anything and post them.” He rested his hand on Charlie’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.
She said “but we thought we’d maybe print some nice thank you cards after wards, when we have more time, just to have something pretty to keep.”
“And you can add what you’ve saved to the dress budget.” Charlie smiled at the suggestion. “Music?” I asked.
“I’ll get that covered” Mark said. “One of my lads is a DJ, he’ll sort us out.”
Charlie stared at him. “I’m not having my first dance to any gangsta rap” she warned him. He kissed the top of her head again.
“Don’t worry. I’ll brief him carefully.”
“Ok” I said, that is a lot of the items covered pretty quickly. “Favours.”
Sunny looked up from the magazine he’d picked up. “How about these?” he said, and we all turned to look at him in surprise. He’d found a picture of a wedding table, set with small candles. There were tea lights in frosted glass holders, with elegant script detailing the names and dates of the wedding party. They were beautiful.
“Do you think they could have them ready so quickly?” Mark asked.
“They are perfect” Charlie said, until she saw the price. “Maybe we’ll go with bubbles though.”
“I’ll ring them tomorrow” Sunny said. “If they can do it, this can be my gift to you. “
Charlie beamed at him. “I needed to get you something anyway” he muttered, looking embarrassed.
There was a loud clatter of pans in the kitchen, and Pamela stuck her head round the door. “Dinner” she called.
Chapter Twenty Two
Mark and Charlie seemed much happier now that the plans for the wedding seemed more manageable. They chatted away cheerfully over dinner. Charlie told us all about how well Jason was getting on at school. It was funny to think that he was at the same one I’d gone to. Pamela ate with us, and seemed to be happier than I’d seen her so far. She even asked Charlie a few questions about how her pregnancy was going. She was obviously having no problems with language tonight, but in the interests of keeping the peace I didn’t point this out to Sunny.
I asked Pamela if she was enjoying her trip, and she nodded, then turned back to Charlie and asked if she had any name ideas picked out. I don’t know if Sunny noticed, but I know Charlie did. I saw her watching me and frowning.
At the end of the meal we arranged another planning session. Sunny had Wednesday off and we agreed to meet at seven again to compare notes. I nipped into the bedroom to pack another load of clothes to take back to my parents’ house. I half filled my rucksack with underwear and starting lifting out my t-shirts. They were ironed and folded perfectly. I undid them and stuffed them into balls in my bag. It was almost full when I realised that after this load, I’d have no more clothes left here. I took out one t-shirt and one pair of knickers, folded them and put them back in the drawer.
“Do you need some help?” Sunny said, and I jumped.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in” I said. “It’s ok. I think I’m done.”
“You had a lot of your stuff here, didn’t you” Sunny commented, as he saw me lift the heavy bag onto my back.
I started crying, and he looked lost. Unsure what to say or do. “Yes” I said, tears dripping down my face. “I did. I guess I was here a lot. It had almost felt like home. I can’t believe that was only a couple of weeks ago.”
I thought he was about to say something, but he couldn’t quite put the words together. I fiddled with the straps on my bag, then headed to the front door. I shouted a quick “bye” to Mark and Charlie, and left quickly.
I was quite relieved to find that my parents weren’t home. I didn’t feel like explaining why I was coming home yet again with a bag of clothes and tears in my eyes. I had laid on my bed with a magazine. I’d bought myself a fashion mag when I stopped in for the wedding ones for Charlie. I didn’t often get very often anymore. All the articles on what body shape women ought to aspire, and the implied critique if you didn’t fit the narrow perception of beauty, not to mention the circles of shame on any female celebrity who had dared to eat an actual meal, usually made me too angry, but this one had come with some free nail polishes and I decided that I’d deserved a treat.
I read articles about how you knew if your boyfriend was “the one,” and felt hollow. I knew Sunny was the one for me. I knew it. He was my best friend, he knew me better than anyone in the world, and yet two weeks with his mum around had almost broken us. I tried to think of what I could do to try and see him again. I picked up my mobile to text him, but put it back on the bed again, unsure what exactly I wanted to say.
I folded the corner ove
r on a few of the pages that had nice clothes on. I knew I wouldn’t buy them, they cost a small fortune, but it was fun to day dream. I picked up the nail polish and was just starting to paint my nails when I heard the door slam and my mum shout a “hello” up the stairs.
I called back, and she offered to bring me up a cup of tea. I started painting my toe nails. The magazine came with a complex two bottle system, one was a bright red polish. Not what I’d usually choose, but it was free so I figured that I might as well try it. The second bottle held some kind of glitter that you sprinkled on to the wet gloss.
I painted both the bright red on both feet then opened the glitter bottle. They’d obviously tried to cut costs on their freebies by failing to build in any kind of pouring system. I tried to sprinkle on a light dusting but ended up using half the bottle on first toe. I waddled about my room to get some paper to put under my feet. I should probably have thought of that before I glittered my carpet, but never mind.
Waddling like a penguin, I took as few shuffles as I could to get near my desk. I leaned over to grab some paper, and fell, face first onto the floor. I found myself crying, more in frustration than pain. There was a knock on my door, and I shouted “come in.” I was hoping for one of those hugs from my mum. The kind that leaves you feeling that there is no problem your parents don’t know how to solve. Instead, I felt a pair of arms lift me from behind and gently set me on the bed.
Sunny brushed the hair from my eyes. For the first time in weeks he kissed my lips. He looked so concerned, in stark contrast to the jumbled mess I presented. I sniffed, trying to get my tears under control.
“I owe you an apology” he said, taking my hands in his. “After you left Charlie had a go at me. She wanted to know what had happened with us, and why my mum was ignoring you. I’m sorry, I hadn’t realised it was as bad as that.”
“I tried to say” I pointed out. “But I didn’t want to come between you. I know it was hard, with what your dad was like. You had a lot of time to make up for with your mum too and I didn’t want to be another person getting in the way of that.”