“Nope,” he replied as he peeled potatoes.
“That’s not fair.”
His eyes crinkled, but he didn’t crack a smile. She might just make it her mission in life to make him smile.
He reached over and tapped her nose with his finger. “I let you cook; we’ll probably be eating fish sticks with a side of gummy worms.”
He wasn’t wrong.
“I can cook,” she told him. She’d had to learn how. She didn’t much like it, though. And now that she no longer had younger siblings to take care of, she had figured she didn’t much have to worry about creating balanced meals.
“Babe, can tell from your voice you don’t much like cooking, am I right?”
“I pretty much detest it,” she replied. “I cooked dinner every night for years, with vegetables. Then once Brad and Sylvie left me, I figured I didn’t have to bother anymore. So, I don’t.”
“Left you?” he asked quietly.
Danger. Danger. Back away from that one.
“I mean when they moved out.”
“What about your mom? Where was she?” he asked.
“She bailed on us soon after we left.”
“How come you guys didn’t get taken into foster care after she bailed?” He didn’t look at her. If he did, he probably would have noticed the way she’d frozen. She thought he didn’t want to talk about the past. Nerves fluttered in her stomach making her feel ill.
“I told everyone I was twenty,” she told him. “I got a fake ID and we made sure we stayed out of trouble so no one paid much attention.”
He nodded and changed the subject. “You don’t like cooking, luckily I do. Don’t always get the chance and I won’t always be here to do it. But I got you some frozen meals. When I have more time, I’ll cook some meals to go in the freezer.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she whispered.
“Babe, you’re living on sugar and caffeine, if I don’t do something, you’re going to get sick. It’s a wonder you have any immune system left.”
“I don’t really go anywhere to get sick,” she protested.
Crap. When was she going to learn to guard what she said?
“You were out last night, weren’t you?”
Took every ounce of courage she had to do that and then she’d nearly chickened out several times.
“Why don’t you like going out?” he asked in a soft voice. “Daisy? Look at me, please.”
It was the ‘please’ that did it. Then when she glanced up and saw the soft look on his face, she kind of melted. Total and utter goo.
“Yes?”
“Why don’t you like going out? You got a phobia about leaving the house?”
“Not that.” She sighed. “It’s just a bit scary, I guess.” She glanced down at her finger as she drew a pattern on the kitchen counter.
“Scary?” he prompted.
She shrugged, wishing she hadn’t admitted that. She was such a wimp.
Little whore. You’ll never amount to anything.
Crap. Crap.
“Daisy. Daisy,” he said more sharply. She looked up into his hazel eyes which were filled with concern. “That’s better. Where did you just go?”
“Nowhere.”
“All right. We need to get a few things straight. Thought I made things clear last night, seems I didn’t.” He was putting food on both plates and her stomach actually growled. It looked pretty good. Except for the spinach. Gross.
“Come on, grab some cutlery and let’s eat at the dining table and we can chat.”
“Do we have to chat?”
Jed snorted as they both took a seat. “Think I’ve spoken more to you tonight than I have to anyone else in the past week.”
That didn’t surprise her. He didn’t strike her as the verbose type. But he had no problem talking to her.
She picked up her fork and dug into the mashed potatoes. Damn, they were cooked perfect. Light, fluffy and buttery.
“Want me to cut up your steak for you?” he asked suddenly.
She froze. Stared at him with another forkful of mashed potatoes halfway to her mouth. Her mouth was open. She slammed it shut. That probably looked real attractive, Daisy. The potatoes slid off the fork and landed on her lap. Shit.
She sighed. “Crap.”
But instead of looking disgusted by her or making a smart-assed comment, Jed just stood.
“Don’t swear,” he scolded mildly. “Wait there, I’ll get a cloth.”
He returned quickly with a cloth, but when she reached for it, he pulled it back. She looked up at him with hurt. Was he playing some kind of game?
“Hey,” he said gently, reaching out to take hold of her chin. “I’ll clean you up, all right?”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I want to take care of you.” He used the cloth to tidy her up. “I enjoy it.”
Her heart raced. “You used to take care of me.”
He sat with a nod, putting the cloth down on the table. “I did.”
“Not like that.”
“Not sure we ever ate mashed potatoes together.”
“You know what I mean.”
He stared at her straight on. “I do know what you mean. Back then we were kids, but I always knew I wanted to look after you. Nobody else ever did.”
She flinched at that, even though it was nothing less than the truth. He reached out again and gently raised her chin so she had to look at him. “Didn’t say that to hurt you, sugar.”
“I know.” She tried to smile, but failed miserably. “It’s just the truth. My mom never even noticed I existed and I spent most of my time looking after Brad and Sylvie. You were the only person who ever watched out for me.”
And then she left him. And nothing had been the same since.
She saw something flash through his eyes and his hand dropped. Her heart raced with fear. Was he remembering too? Remembering the promises they’d made to each other? Promises she’d broken.
“Jed—”
“Eat your dinner,” he said abruptly.
“Jed—”
“Daisy, eat.”
A lump developed in her throat. Suddenly, her appetite was gone.
“Eat your dinner, Daisy.”
“I can’t. I don’t feel so great.”
He stared at her for a moment, she expected him to scold her or maybe get a bit impatient. Instead, he surprised her by reaching over and pulling her into his lap. She froze. She’d been in his lap before, as a teenager. But this Jed was a whole different experience. He was firm, large, and hard. She wiggled around.
He gave her a light slap on the side of her thigh that had her stilling. “Sit still.”
“I’m on your lap.”
“So you are,” he said in a lighter voice.
“Why?”
“I wanted you close.” He reached over and pulled her plate towards him. He’d eaten everything on his plate. He started cutting up her steak.
“I can do that,” she said quickly, reaching for the knife and fork. He gave her hand a light slap.
“Put your hands down.”
“But—”
“I caused you to get upset so you lost your appetite, now it’s my job to settle you down so you can eat.”
She wasn’t sure how she felt about that statement. Except, if he thought holding her on his lap would settle her down, he was delusional.
“I can sit in my own chair,” she said a little desperately.
“Nope, you can sit right here.”
Her temper stirred. “Anybody ever tell you that you’re far too bossy?”
“Yep,” he said with a grin. “Now, open up.” He held up a fork with a small piece of steak and some potatoes on it to her mouth. Now this was going too far. She reached for the fork and he drew it back with a sigh.
Then he stood and set her down on her seat. “Okay, this is the way it’s going to go. You’re going to keep your hands palm up on your thighs while I feed you dinner. Each time you move your hands, it’s
two spanks.”
Umm, what? Seriously?
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not. You up for it?”
She just stared at him. He didn’t smile or wink like it was a joke and she remembered what he’d said last night. “Do you like doing that, spanking women?”
“Sometimes, I do.”
“And you think I need that? To be. . .spanked.”
“I think for too long you’ve been the one in charge. Doing everything. Making the decisions. For right or wrong. And now you’re on your own. And you need watching over so you don’t eat yourself into a sugar coma or go out with complete strangers to dangerous bars. Remember how I said there was gonna be rules? Well, with rules there are always consequences for breaking them, otherwise what’s to hold you to them, right? And the consequences have to be such that it will make you think twice before breaking those rules.”
“And the consequence is a spanking?”
“You ever been spanked?”
“No. Never.” Her mother would have had to notice her to do that. “I don’t think there were ever any rules, other than don’t interrupt her while she was working.” She made a face.
“There were rules for your siblings, though, right? That you made.”
“Yeah.”
“And you enforced those rules.”
She wrinkled her nose as she thought back. “Not very well.”
“I can see how that would be hard for you.” He studied her. “Taking a disciplinarian role wouldn’t come naturally to you. Being in charge is what I need. While we’re together, keeping you safe and healthy is my job. I take that very seriously.”
While they were together?
She felt ill at the thought that he didn’t think this would last.
How would she ever lose him again? She was already falling fast and hard. Hell, she’d never really fallen out of love with him. Sylvie thought she was crazy. That her feelings for him couldn’t be real. That she’d made him into something in her head that wasn’t real. In part, she was right. In her head, he’d been someone else. But he was also so much more than she’d imagined.
There were no promises. All she could do was hope. Hope that he might find that love for her that he’d once had. Although part of her worried he never would. Not when he didn’t know everything.
But maybe he was right and it was for the best the past stayed there.
He ran his thumb along her lower lip. “Hey, look at me. If you can’t do this, we can think of other consequences. It’s important that you don’t fear me. I would never do anything to hurt you or scare you, you believe that right?”
“I know you wouldn’t.” If anything, he was too protective, her dragon.
“You followed my lead in the past. Maybe not to this extent and I know we’re both different. I’m more dominant, more take-charge.” He tilted his head, studying her. “And I almost think you’re more in need of guidance than you were before.”
He wasn’t wrong. She felt lost. Adrift. She had since Sylvie and Brad left.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He glanced down at her plate. “While I feed you this, you think about whether or not you want to accept my consequences.”
Wow. Generous of him to give her a minute or two to think. But was there much to think about? He was the only person she’d ever truly trusted, but she’d been taught over and over that people were assholes.
Not Jed.
Still, she wasn’t sure about all this. She didn’t know this Jed well.
“Baby, in order to eat you need to open your mouth.”
She opened her mouth slowly and he slipped the piece inside.
“And now you chew.”
She chewed obediently.
“It was too soon, wasn’t it?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she breathed out, glad he understood.
The skin around his eyes crinkled and she felt the tension in her drain away. “Yeah. I get that. You don’t know me well and I’m comin’ on strong.”
That was it exactly.
She nodded her head.
“So, we’ll defer punishment.”
What did that mean? As she opened her mouth to ask, he fed her another forkful of steak.
“You misbehave, earn yourself punishment, then I’ll keep a tally. When you’re ready to submit to my discipline then we’ll deal with it. Might be one hell of a spanking, though. Unless you got a real problem with being spanked.”
She thought that over for a moment. Her over his lap, her butt bare, feeling his hand crack down on the spare skin. She’d edited a few books with spanking scenes and they never failed to turn her on. Her heart raced with nerves and excited and shockingly she felt her clit throb. She pressed her thighs together. That just made it ache even more.
He grinned. “You ain’t got a problem with being spanked.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Part of my job is being observant.” He tapped her nose. “You might want to remember that next time you try to lie to me.”
“I don’t lie,” she muttered.
He stiffened for a moment then the tension eased out of him. “Evasive answers are something I consider a lie. When I ask a question, I like an answer in return. Or if you can’t answer for some reason, I want you to tell me that. I probably won’t like that, but it’s better than saying nothing is wrong when something is. All right?”
“All right.” She guessed she could deal with that. The rest of it. . .shit, he’d given her a lot to think over.
He fed her a forkful of potatoes. Some of them smeared on her lip and she reached over to grab the cloth.
“Uh-uh, where is your hand meant to be,” he chided.
Her hand slammed down to her thigh. Shoot. She glanced up at him, but instead of looking annoyed, his eyes were dancing.
“Relax, baby. This isn’t serious. It’s a game. When it’s serious, you’ll know.”
A game?
“So, you’re not really going to spank me?”
“Oh no, you just earned yourself two. But whatever the tally reaches by the end of the meal, it won’t be a hard spanking. Course, break my other rules and that’s a different story.”
He wiped her mouth himself. Jeez, when was the last time someone had done that?
She took another bite. She was starting to get full and she wasn’t even a fourth of the way through the plate of food.
This time he held up a forkful of spinach. He looked from the fork he held to her and she swore this devilish look crossed his face. “Want me to do the choo-choo train?”
Her eyes widened. “You wouldn’t.”
Oh, she should have known better than to say that.
He pulled his hand back. “Here comes the choo-choo train. Choo! Choo!”
She tried to frown at him, she really did. But it was so ridiculous. This big, serious man who probably knew thirty ways to kill a person and get away with it, was doing the choo-choo train. She found herself bursting into laughter.
And she finally got that smile she’d been waiting for. It was fleeting. There one second, gone the next. But it had been there, and her heart grew lighter. She even ate a mouthful of the damn spinach. Then wished she could spit them out. With a grimace, she swallowed them down then jumped up and raced into the kitchen to grab a can of pop from the fridge to wash down the slimy taste.
“Getting out of your seat is ten,” he called out.
Damn it.
7
If anyone had told him a week ago that he’d be sitting on a couch with Daisy tucked up against him, watching some reality TV cooking show, he’d have thought them delusional. But he was here. With her.
His girl.
After she’d jumped up to grab some pop to wash down the spinach, he hadn’t made her eat anymore. He had insisted on a few more mouthfuls of steak and potatoes, though. He’d even let her have some ice cream. He’d have to watch or she’d have him wrapped around his little finger if he wasn’t careful.
Although, she’d moaned so much about the small amount he’d given her, that he’d ended up tacking on ten more to her tally. Hmm, seemed his girl wouldn’t sit well for a while come reckoning day if she kept this up.
He ran his hand up and down her arm. He didn’t want to push her too hard too fast, last thing he wanted was for her to run. His body tightened at the thought. She’d done it before. Could do it again.
But he wasn’t the boy he once was. He was going into this with his eyes wide open. This was about working her out of his system. And he also knew how to track things down. There was no where she could hide that he wouldn’t find her. If he wanted to chase her.
“Jed? You all right?”
He stared down into those deep, gray eyes. His body stirred. The thought of lying down and pulling her over him, of getting those tight jeans off her, of stripping her naked and having her ride him or sit on his face so he could eat her out. . .fuck, he needed to stop. It was too soon.
“Need a bit of your sugar.”
Her eyes widened.
“Right here.” He pointed to his lips.
She licked her own lips. Looked hesitant. More hesitant than he would have thought. He narrowed his gaze. “You scared of kissing me?”
“I’m just not used to. . .” she trailed off, looking away.
Used to what? Surely Bobby had kissed her. He tensed, pushing that thought away. He was starting to have his doubts about how long Bobby had stuck around.
“I’m sorry I’m not very good at this. I’ll try harder,” she said in a rush, staring at him worriedly. He realized he was scowling and no doubt scaring her half to death.
“Sh, I’m not mad at you. I was thinking of something else. Come here.” He tapped his lap then helped her climb over so she was facing him, her thighs straddling his. He ran his thumbs up her inner thighs, felt her shiver. Reaching up, he wrapped his hand around the back of her head and pulled her in for a light, gentle kiss.
Sugar and strawberries.
He moved his hands down her back, digging into tight spots he found.
“Jesus, you’re wound up tight. When was the last time you had a massage?”
“Uh, I’ve never had one.”
That bastard never gave her a massage?
“You must get sore working on a computer for long hours.” He dug his fingers into her neck.
Daddy’s Lost Love Page 8