“Huh. A little alligator lizard caused all this trouble?” I said quietly. The tail was missing - the stump was red and raw. Without moving, I quietly asked Fin for a glass. He crawled across the floor and poked his head out from the other side of the island counter. He pushed a tall glass in my direction.
I smiled, laying the glass near the lizards head, “It's okay little buddy. Let’s go outside.” I nudged its hind legs in the direction of the glass until it scuttled inside. When I stood up, I topped the container off with my palm and squinted at him. “I think it’s alright, but it lost its tail.”
“It’s lucky that’s all it lost.” Fin grumbled. “Look what it did to my kitchen!”
“You’re the gimp that threw an open bag of flour at it!” Connor said with a chuckle.
I looked at Fin, and bit down on my lower lip to keep from giggling again.
“Damn thing ran across the counter, knocking shit over!” He glared at me, and then Connor before continuing with a slight slur. “I burned the damn cupcakes while we ran all over this kitchen trying to catch it.”
“Well, you’re safe now, boys.” I said, before I walked out the front door. I gently slid the lizard out of the glass into the dirt under the porch. It sat still for a moment, and then ran off when I nudged its back leg again.
I returned the glass to the kitchen. “What a mess.”
I smiled at Fin, who was using a rag on the counters. Connor was shaking his hair out over the sink, making white clouds dance around his head in a flurry.
“Exactly how much did you drink before deciding to make cupcakes?”
“Not enough.” Fin answered.
“Right.” I laughed.
Connor took the broom and started sweeping, stopping every few seconds to pick up a pan or utensil. I sat on a stool and rested my elbows on the counter to watch.
“So, did your friend get boring already?” Fin asked.
“Now that you mention it, I did have a reason for coming over.” I paused to push the tipped over mixing bowls across the counter to him.
Connor stopped sweeping and leaned into the sink. “Yeah?” He asked. His eyes were glossed over.
“Um. I helped everyone get settled into rooms. So you’ll have new neighbors.” I paused to gauge their expressions before Fin cut me off.
“Yeah, we know, it was like rush hour out there.” He said sarcastically.
“You have new roommates now?” Connor asked me, as he pulled his flour-dusted t-shirt over his head. The curves of his chest beckoned to me and I found my gaze travelling across his upper body and down his navel, following the thin trail of dark, downy hair that led inside his jeans. Fin walked between us and dumped a handful of dishes into the sink, breaking my gaze.
“Yeah, I have a new roommate.” I cleared my throat, and tried to clear my mind.
I figured he would find out by the end of the day that Jacks wasn’t staying with me, but I wasn’t going to stop him from making assumptions since he seemed more willing to do that than have a conversation with me.
“Anyway,” I struggled to focus on Connor’s face, and not his bare chest. “A few of us thought it would be nice to have dinner together later.” I stood up, and brushed flour from my hands. “The rec room, at 4:00...if you’re up for it.” I smiled and walked away, closing the front door behind me.
Once outside, I let the fake smile plastered to my face fade and shoved my hands into my pockets as I walked back to my cabin. My chest felt heavy, despite the deep mountain air I tried to fill my lungs with. It hurt to see Connor drinking and baking with Fin...without me. I knew he was mad, but deciding to move out without discussing it with me first made me…sad. I walked slowly, and pushed my hair out of my face with irritation as the wind twirled it up and around in the air. I kicked at a stone and watched it bounce down the trail, and forced a smile as Zoey rushed after it with abandon.
If only Connor had waited, and let me explain who Jacks was to me before he took off to get drunk. I wanted to tell him what Jacks had meant to me in the past. I hoped that no matter how upset Fin and Connor were, they would go up to the main grounds for dinner later.
I kind of missed them.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
It felt good to dress up for dinner. Not that I had any dresses. But I showered, blew my hair almost dry and dabbed on a bit of Kris’s mascara. After putting on a cute tank top and clean skinny jeans...well, I felt womanly, more feminine. Definitely more presentable then I was to the group first thing that morning.
There were leaves in my hair when I washed it, which meant I had been walking around all day with foliage on my head. And no one thought it pertinent to tell me. I had also skinned a knee and scraped up my right arm, though I didn’t remember exactly how, but I guessed it must have been from crawling and running through the woods.
Kris sat on the edge of my bed while she watched me get ready. I smiled at her in the bedroom vanity mirror and she smiled faintly back.
“Is Kris short for something?” I asked while I twisted large sections of my hair.
“Yeah...Kristina. But no one’s called me that in years.” She picked at the chipped dark polish on her nails. “Did you have kids?” She asked suddenly.
I looked at her in the mirror. “I did.” I turned around to study her face. “I can’t imagine going through this, at your age. You’re very brave, you know.” I paused, and sighed heavily, fighting the urge to tear up. She shrugged, and pulled her knees up to her chest.
I smiled again, and turned back towards the mirror. “So, why did you ask?”
“Cuz you have that way of looking at people like mom’s do.”
I laughed. “Well, that’s better than saying you thought I looked like a mom.”
She smiled again, and absentmindedly traced the scar on her face with a finger. When she caught me watching, she quickly took her hand away and tucked her chin in between her knees.
I got up and sat down on the bed next to her while she looked at her feet nervously. “Kris, I know you just met me, and this has all been hard. On all of us.” I paused, choosing my next words carefully. “But, if you ever want to talk, I’m here. Okay?” I put my hand gently on her shoulder and she looked up at me quickly and nodded. “Are you okay, I mean...is everything okay?” I asked her, while I looked at her scars.
“I’ll be fine.” She smiled weakly. I nodded and stood up and she said almost under her breath, “But thanks.”
Not knowing what else to say, I leaned down and hugged her tight before returning to the vanity. I ran my fingers along the edge of the folded picture of the kids that I had tucked up against the base of the mirror, where only someone looking for it would see it. I didn’t want to share it, not yet.
When I was finished getting ready, Kris followed me downstairs and we gathered up our coats. I had slipped a thin sweater over my tank, and ran my fingers through the waves in my hair.
“You ready?” I asked Kris. She nodded that she was, and we let Zoey run out the door first. I had her leash tucked into the pocket of my coat, in case we needed it, and as we walked up the trail I glanced casually at Fin and Connor’s cabin, but the door was still closed, and unlike earlier in the day, it was quiet.
As our feet made indents in the dirt and crunched softly on the twigs and leaves, Kris suddenly stopped and grabbed at my arm. Zoey turned to face the woods, her ears forward, and her back rigid.
“Look.” Kris said, just barely above a whisper.
I squinted into the tree line and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, until one of the trees appeared to move. As I stared harder, a light brown flick of color moved behind another tree and stopped. We took several steps up the trail until we could see the area from a different angle. Standing not more than thirty feet away was a young deer. It was watching us, her large brown eyes open wide and alert, but she didn’t appear to be afraid. She flicked her ears several times, and then bent down to forage from the forest floor. Even though the deer we had seen before
had been further away, I was sure the one off the trail was the same one.
I smiled as Kris stared at it with fascination. “She’s our resident deer. Young, but obviously healthy. This is the closest I’ve seen her.” I said quietly to Kris.
She whispered back, “I’ve never seen one up close like this before.”
We stood on the trail for almost ten minutes until the sound of music floated through the trees from the lodge. The deer flicked her ears forward, and looked at us before dodging into the dense woods. The graceful spring in her step was delicate and deliberate.
“Come on, let’s go.” I nudged Kris’s arm but she didn’t move. She kept her eyes on the trees. “Don’t worry, she’ll be back.” I said with a smile.
I slapped my leg and Zoey rushed up to me, and passed us, where she paused at the fork in the trail and barked impatiently. Kris ran ahead and chased the dog around the bend. I laughed softly at the happy smile that filled her face as the dog dashed playfully away from her and bounced around the awkward teen’s feet.
As the lawn area opened up, the steady beat of the music drifted down to me. The sounds of Lenny Kravitz spilled through the grass, circled the trees and danced along the soft breeze. I walked up the graveled part of the trail and followed it along to the Rec room pathway. The large bungalow style building was tucked tightly up against the tree line on its north side, and elevated up high enough to see the mountains behind the lake. It was the perfect viewing spot for sunsets.
I took the six steps up two at a time, and as I reached the landing, It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over faded out and Katy Perry’s, E.T. boomed through the speakers. The beat thudded in my chest and I all but danced into the pavilion. As I passed through the doorway, an arm grabbed me from behind and spun me in a circle. Jacks grinned as he pulled me into him and danced me around the room. He lifted my arms around his neck and swung his hips in sync with mine and trailed a finger along my collar bone when I leaned my head back and laughed. He spun me away from him, and pulled me back in an exaggerated fashion, mouthing the words to the song. It was obvious he had showered - his thick hair was smoothed down, but was making a valiant effort to curl on the ends regardless of the hair product he had slicked it down with. And he smelled lovely…his familiar Cedar smell was replaced with something fresh...I was sure it was an Ocean smell of some sort. When the song ended, he dipped me over his leg and I heard the sounds of hollering from the far side of the room where Skip and Winchester stood with Alan. I let go of Jacks, my cheeks flushed warm from activity and ran my hands down my jeans nervously. As Train’s, Hey Soul Sister started, I grabbed Jacks’ hand and did my best curtsy at our small but enthusiastic crowd.
We laughed our way across the room, and Winchester turned the music volume down so we didn’t have to yell at each other to be heard.
“I plugged my iPod in...hope you don’t mind?” Jacks asked, slightly out of breath.
I smiled up at him and laughed. “That explains the playlist.”
“It’s on shuffle, so don’t hold me responsible for what comes on next.” He said and casually put an arm around my shoulders, squeezing me gently.
Alan, still in his grungy arrival clothes, and Skip moved around the room, pushing open the large windows and raising the canvas curtains up to let in the late afternoon light and fresh breeze. The fireplace had been started and the sofas were turned sideways, slightly facing each other, so anyone sitting in them could not only enjoy the fire, but also the view of the rest of the room.
Skip came up to me with a basket of canned foods. “So, this is what I scrounged up from the kitchen. We’ve got peas, green beans and carrots. Rice, pasta, tomato sauce...what sounds good to you?”
I clapped him on the shoulder and said, “Come with me, I’ve got something better.”
He shrugged and followed me back outside and I wound him through the trees until we found the pathway that led to the rear of the main building.
“What’s back here?” He said, as he carried the empty basket I had dumped onto one of the tables in the Rec room. I could hear the country twang of a guitar coming from behind us as a Keith Urban song started. I smiled, grateful that Jacks still had a wide range of taste in music.
“You’ll see.” I realized that Fin had taken me back here almost the same way, secretive, hoping to save the surprise for the last minute.
As soon as the greenhouse came into view, Skip knew instantly what it was. “Alright!” He said, and picked up his pace on the trail. I smiled when we stepped inside and Skip’s eyes widened with delight.
I wandered down the first aisle, touching each plant gingerly. “How about some fresh green beans, a salad and tomatoes for spaghetti sauce?” I looked at Skip who was still staring at the rows of fresh food in disbelief.
“Wow, sounds great to me!” He said.
We picked several handfuls of beans, what seemed like over a pound of tomatoes and filled the rest of the basket with vegetables for the salad. I laid a handful of herbs on the top and Skip happily carried the basket back to the Rec room. By the time we returned, Aerosmith was playing and the men were huddled by the fire, looking out the windows at the view, each with an open beer in their hand.
“Hey! There you are!” Jacks said, and strolled across the room. He peered down at the basket Skip had set on the table and said, “Holy shit. Where’d this come from?”
“We have our own greenhouse.” Skip said happily. “I’ll take these to the kitchen and start cleaning them.”
“Thanks Skip.” I smiled at his back and turned to face Jacks. He was wearing jeans and a dark pullover sweatshirt with frayed edges and every time he raised the beer bottle to his mouth I could see the trim of his green t-shirt underneath.
“So, thanks for taking Kris in at your place.” He looked at me from over the lip of the bottle before taking another long swallow. “She needs to be around another woman. And Ana doesn’t count.”
I nodded. “It’s nice having her around actually. Where is Ana by the way?”
He shrugged. “Her and Matt disappeared somewhere a while ago.” He winked. I felt like puking.
“I should go help Skip.” I smiled and left Jacks to go to the small kitchen in the back of the building. The vegetables had all been rinsed and Skip was cutting the ends off of the green beans. We worked side by side cutting veggies, pureeing the tomatoes, chopping herbs and waiting for the water to boil.
As I lightly sautéed the beans, I looked at the open kitchen door to make sure it was empty.
“Skip, what happened to Kris?” I asked it quietly, not wanting the others to hear from the other room.
“Ahh. You mean the cuts?” He paused and then stirred the sauce before turning to face me. “She hasn’t told me the story, but Jacks knows it. He found her hiding out in a gas station somewhere in Los Angeles. All I know is that she ran into the wrong people when everything started falling apart. From the way Jacks said it, she barely got away with her life.” He turned to face the simmering sauce again.
I looked at the doorway. “Poor kid.” I sighed and slid the beans out of the pan into a large bowl, drizzled them with olive oil and sprinkled some coarse sea salt and cracked pepper all over. “I didn’t leave my house for a long time. Not until I needed to get water. By then, well...everyone in my part of town was gone.” I twirled the ends of a cheesecloth kitchen towel in between my fingers.
“It still doesn’t seem real, does it?” Skip’s voice was huskier than usual, emotional.
We stood next to each other, staring down at the rolling pasta as it boiled. Skip put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. I looked up at his round and whiskered face, only a few inches from mine and tried to smile.
“It’s going to be okay. You have to believe that, Riley.”
I nodded, but I didn’t say to him how much I disagreed with his statement at the time.
Kris walked into the kitchen with Zoey at her feet. “Do you need any help?” She asked with a hesitant smile on h
er face.
“Feel like taking the beans and salad out to one of the tables?” I smiled at her.
“Sure.” She picked the two large bowls up off the counter and said over her shoulder on her way into the next room, “Oh, your friends just got here.”
***
Dinner was full of amazing conversation and even better food…spreading out over an hour to finish. Three large, rectangular tables were lined up next to each other by the kitchen and with all of us sitting together, we filled two of them. Matt and Ana had showed up just as we all sat down to eat. He seemed to avoid looking in my direction either to please Ana or keep from upsetting Jacks, who had taken one of the seats beside me. Connor and Fin sat across from me, visibly drunk but in good spirits, and Kris sat to my right. Skip was on the far end of our table, and the rest of the group took up the table next to us.
When the food was gone, and the dishes were cleared, we stretched out on the couches, some of us with beers, the rest of us with glasses of wine. Most of the group was gathered around Connor, who seemed more than willing in his drunken state to talk about his movie career. Ana sat perched like a vulture on the armrest of the couch next to him, continuously licking her full lips as if waiting for the right time to pounce on him. Matt sat in a lone chair off in the corner, glaring at the group while he took long sips of a dark liquid he had poured into a small tumbler. His hair was mused, and his clothes seemed thrown on, like he didn’t care what he looked like…not at all like the Matt I met downtown, who seemed overly vain.
The room smelled strongly of burning wood, and a whisper of Italian food. I cuddled into the cushions of the couch and stared into the fire, listening to the pop of the engulfed logs. The wine swished in my glass as Fin plopped down heavily beside me.
I Hope You Find Me Page 20