He felt the world around him disappear, and all that was left was this woman…this sexy and beautiful woman…making love to him.
When Riley collapsed next to him, he rolled onto his side and buried his face into her hair, kissing the freckles splattered finely across one of her bare shoulders. He didn't realize what he wanted to say, until after the words spilled out of his mouth.
“Riley, I love you.”
***
“It was there, I know it was.” Fin's voice rose with anger.
“Man, whatever.” Matt said snidely and turned away. Fin grabbed his arm as he tried to walk by.
“Get the fuck off me.” Matt gritted through his teeth.
Connor stood next to me in the open doorway of the lodge store room. Winchester was a good ten feet away, clearly not wanting to put himself between Fin and Matt. Jacks practically filled the room with his large frame. His coat hung open, a small revolver tucked into his waistband, which seemed like a foreign accessory for him. He had always been the peacemaker, but it seemed the lodge had turned him into a referee.
“I know you took it, no one else has been in here.” Fin growled.
Matt shoved Fin, causing him to slid back a foot but still he kept his grip tightly on Matt's arm.
“Whoa now. What is it you think he took, Fin?” Jacks moved closer to the men, his hands up in a form of surrender.
Fin glared at him. “The Springfield is gone.” Matt jerked his arm free, but with no way to edge past Fin and Jacks, he smoothed his clothes out, and leaned against the small gun safe with his arms crossed at his chest. Even though his body language became cool and relaxed, tiny beads of sweat had formed above his brow.
Alan and Bobby materialized behind us. Bobby's red face was stony, while Alan's gaunt face was pinched in irritation. Neither of the men looked happy. For a brief moment I wondered if the group would suddenly be split in two if a fight between Fin and Matt broke out. I glanced at Connor, who stepped closer to me without meeting my gaze. Winchester hovered in the background, clearly nervous, and I was certain in a fight or flight moment, he would absolutely hit the ground…running.
“I have no idea what you're talking about.” Matt said calmly.
“You're a damn liar! I saw you in here earlier this morning. And now it's gone.” Fin tapped Matt's chest with his finger while he spoke.
Matt stared ahead of him, his expression cool. “Maybe your drunk ass took it somewhere.”
“What?!” Fin lunged at Matt and again Jacks stepped between the men. He put his palms on their chests and pushed each aside, muttering something under his breath.
“What's going on?” I finally asked.
“The Springfield is gone, and I know he took it.” Fin's face was flushed.
“What's that?” I asked him.
“The .30-.06.”
“Huh?”
“The damn rifle.” He glared at me before turning back to face Jacks.
I felt two things at that moment. My skin went clammy and broke out in goose bumps, and immediately my heart plummeted into my stomach with a hollow thud. Because I knew Fin was probably right. Who else would have gone into the gun safe and taken the hunting rifle? It seemed most if not everyone had pistols of some sort; but a rifle? What would any of us need with a rifle?
“What do you need it for?” I aimed the question at Matt.
“It doesn't matter what he wants it for, the fucker shouldn't have it.” Fin spat the words out.
“Okay, so let's assume you're right Fin, that Matt took the rifle.” Matt narrowed his eyes at Jacks and even from several feet away I could see the muscles in his jaw twitch. “Why would he do that?” Jacks spoke calmly but kept his stance wide, and never relaxed his hands, as if just waiting for a fight to start.
Fin dragged his hands over his face and cursed loudly. He shoved past Jacks and forced his way between Connor and I. The back door bounced in its framed when he swung it shut behind him.
“I bet the bastard has it tucked under his bed, or propped up in a closet somewhere.” Matt said in a mocking voice.
Alan snickered behind me, making the goose bumps return and the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I glanced at him and he shoved something into his pocket, a guilty look on his face just brief enough for me to notice. I stared at him until he looked away and nervously pushed his thick glasses far up onto his nose.
“I'll go talk to him.” I said to the room, and ignored Connor's look of surprise as I left them and stepped outside into the fresh spring air.
I could see Fin taking the lawn in long strides, so I jogged to catch up to him.
“Fin, wait.”
“Go away, Riley.”
“No.” I reached out to his arm and gently grabbed at his elbow but he shook me off. I matched his fast pace on the trail, though I had to skip a bit to keep up. When the cabins came into view, I thought he would turn to the left and take the steps up to his own place, but instead he stayed on the rocky dirt path until it turned into the weathered planks leading onto the pier.
He didn't stop until the toes of his boots literally dangled over the edge of the last wooden board. We hadn't had any snow in weeks, and the ice had long ago melted away from the lake's border, but it was almost April and I was sure the water was still freezing. I stood behind him with my hands shoved into my jeans until he spoke.
“Do you love him?”
I blinked at his shoulder in confusion. “Who?”
He turned to look at me. His normally spiked straw-colored hair had flattened in the last week or so on account of him not having a haircut for the last couple of months. “Connor. Do you love him?”
“Oh.” I paused and looked away from his hazel eyes; afraid they would penetrate into my mind and read my thoughts before I could process them. “I do.”
“Good.” I could feel that he was still staring at me.
“It is good.”
“What about Jacks? Connor seems like a good guy. He shouldn't have to compete with Jacks.”
I looked at Fin and held his gaze. “I loved Jacks a long time ago. He's a special friend, but we don't really complement each other. It always gets messy between us and I don't want that again...none of us need that.”
Fin nodded slowly and then shoved his hands in his back pockets, trying to hide his discomfort. “So, someone like me? You would never love someone like me?” His voice was small, almost juvenile.
“What do you mean someone like you?” I laughed softly. “What's wrong with you?”
He chewed on his lower lip and looked out over the lake. When he answered his voice was just above a murmur. “No one like you has ever loved someone like me. That's all.”
I stared at him, dumbstruck. “Fin, look at me.”
I waited for him to inhale deeply before he brought his eyes to mine. “There's nothing wrong with you. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I can't be what you need, because the truth is I think you’re great. But me being with Connor has nothing to do with something being wrong with you. Okay?” I touched his arm gently and he nodded with a small laugh.
“Right, it's not me...it's you, huh?”
“Exactly.”
We both laughed quietly. The pier creaked and moaned slightly and the sound of water gently slapping against the pillars below us was relaxing. I stood next to Fin and stared out at the water of the small lake, watching the treetops on the other side sway.
“You know what’s funny? In my life before all…this…I would never have fallen for a guy like Connor. In fact, you’re more my type than he is.”
Fin turned and looked at me sharply. “Shit, that is not what I need to hear from you.”
“Well, it’s true. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”
He looked back over the water and nodded. “Maybe in the next life? You and me?”
I laughed, “Maybe. But for now just friends, okay?” I said it gently, hoping he knew how hard it was for me to have this conversation out loud. Never in my lif
e did I have to make a choice between two totally different men. And part of me thought what Jacks had said was true, there was something about Fin that just seemed to fit with me. I wondered what it would have been like to meet Fin before the virus; what could have happened between us. But the connection I had with Connor wasn’t something I could explain in words…he felt right. I didn’t want to lose that.
Fin looked down at me solemnly before playfully elbowing me in the arm. “Friends.” He smiled, and I nodded, hopeful that we could move on without any more hurt exchanging between us. We watched the lake for another few minutes, listening to the water lap below our feet until Fin leaned down against the pier railing and sighed heavily.
“I know he took it, Riley.” He sounded tired. “I know Matt took that rifle.”
“Okay. I believe you.” And I did. “Does it matter so much, though? I mean, we all have some sort of gun now.” I kept my voice as gentle as possible, trying not to fuel the fire that burned between Matt and basically everyone else. But the last thing I wanted was for Fin to think I sided with Matt.
He turned around to face me before answering. “Yeah, but does anyone else have a long-range rifle with a scope?”
I felt the blood drain from my face at his implication. He pursed his lips into a crooked smile and laughed hollowly.
“See, now you get it.”
***
A shrill scream startled me awake. I sat upright, my heart thudding and my head still heavy with sleep. Was it Kris? I listened, waiting for a sound to come from her room at the other end of the hallway. Connor was still asleep next to me. When nothing but the sounds of his relaxed breathing filled the room, I lowered my shoulders and rubbed the back of my neck. Perhaps I was dreaming? I slowly leaned back into my pillow and stared up at the ceiling at the lightly stained oak beams that ran lengthwise across the room. It hurt to blink. My dry eyes hurt so I held the heel of my palms to them, hoping to push the brewing headache away.
The scream pierced the night again, from somewhere distant, and Zoey barked from the stair way. I sat up and pulled a shirt over my head and a loose fitting pair of sweats before I pushed my door open and stood quietly in the hallway. The scream couldn't have come from inside the cabin but I checked Kris's room anyway. When I opened her door, she was sitting with her knee's bent up under her chin, the covers pulled up high.
“Did you hear that too?” She whispered. Her brown eyes looked like empty caves in the dark.
“It wasn't you, then?” I whispered back. She didn't answer, only shook her head vigorously side to side. Zoey barked again, but this time from the lower level of the cabin.
Whoever screamed was outside.
***
Connor was dressing by the time I rushed back into the room. He already had his jeans on and was pulling a sweat-shirt over his head when he saw me.
“Thank God! I thought something happened to you.” He rushed forward with his arms still caught in his sleeves, and reached out to touch my face with his fingers.
“Someone's screaming.” I said to him, my heart thumping.
“What? You mean that was real?” He stiffened and looked past me, through the doorway.
I shook my head and said, “Kris is fine. It's someone outside.”
“Shit.” He murmured.
We stumbled around the room, kicking aside pieces of the clothing we wore from the day before and the extra comforter that had slid off the bed sometime during the night, until we found our shoes. Neither of us bothered to put socks on before shoving our feet inside them.
On our way out of the room I saw that Kris was standing in her doorway, a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders, her fuzzy hair sticking out like a helmet around her head.
“You aren't both leaving are you?” Her voice was shaky. She didn't seem surprised at all to see Connor coming out of my room in the middle of the night.
“Kris, it's okay. We have to see who that was.” I whistled for Zoey and heard her nails clacking rhythmically across the wood floor below us and then padding up the stairs. She greeted all three of us with sniffs.
“Can she stay here?” Kris pleaded.
I looked at Zoey before nodding at Kris. “Okay. Stay inside and lock the door. We'll be right back.”
She followed us down the stairs and I heard the click of the lock sliding into place as we ran down the porch steps. The front light flickered on at Skip's place and we met him on the path and stood still for a moment. The screams had stopped but we still weren't sure exactly where they had come from. Jacks stumbled out of his cabin, half-dressed and obviously half-asleep as well. Winchester was the last outside and the sight of him made me want to laugh. His hair was uncombed and tousled wildly on top of his head and his normally baby-smooth face sprouted dark stubble, which surprisingly made him look more attractive than his usual clean and put together countenance.
“It wasn't from down here.” I jumped when Fin's husky voice drifted towards us on the cool midnight breeze.
“The lodge.” I said, and Skip nodded at me.
“Let's go.” Connor said quietly, walking briskly ahead, closing the gap between us and Fin's dark silhouette.
***
We found Ana standing on the back porch in her pajamas, leaning into Alan. She was visibly shaking and choking down sobs. Her black hair was tangled from sleep, her face clean of makeup. I had never seen her not done up.
“I said, shut up!” A voice hissed from inside the open doorway. Matt stepped out of the dark into the glow of the porch light. “Get a damn grip, Ana!”
Fin and Connor were ahead of the rest of us by only a handful of paces and approached the trio warily, leaving a wide berth between them and Matt, who was unshaven, and had dark circles under his eyes.
Ana hiccupped and said something in Spanish to Matt. “Speak English, woman.” He growled.
Connor and Fin spoke at the same time.
“What's going on?”
“What's wrong?”
Ana seem to finally realize she was in Alan's embrace and pushed him away, rubbing her arms as if she was cold. Alan looked hurt for a second, but ran his hand through his greasy hair and smirked at her.
“Chick is crazy.”
She spat out a rapid slur of Spanish words again, while moving further away from him. She had on a short Victoria's Secret number and sandals. She crossed her arms over the sheer top and hugged herself.
Jacks stepped forward and tugged his shirt off. He handed it to Ana, who quickly put it on.
“Gracias.” She said quietly.
“What happened, Ana? Are you alright?” I asked her. Rubbing at my eyes where the headache was in full form...throbbing behind the bridge of my nose.
She nodded and began in Spanish before stopping to glare at Matt. When she started talking again, she spoke to us only in English.
“There was a man in the room. I swear it! He grabbed my leg and tried to pull me from the bed.”
Matt stood with his arms crossed over his bare chest, a look of either disgust or extreme irritation on his face. His pectoral muscles were shiny with sweat; something I found curious for a guy who supposedly was just woken up.
“The only man in our room was me.” Everyone stared at him.
“What did you do?” I said just above a whisper.
Ana's eyes got wide as Matt's chest muscles twitched from my implication. “No, no, no...not Matt. Another man. He grabbed me. I swear.” She inhaled sharply before continuing, “He was there one minute, then just gone.” She gestured to Matt. “He doesn't believe me.”
“Of course not! You're saying some damn ghost was in our room. What the hell is wrong with you, bitch?” His words seemed to cut Ana like a knife.
Fin turned his back away from them and looked in my direction. “Now you know why I said those rooms ain't empty.” He walked away from the group, toward the cabins without saying anything else.
Ana started arguing with Matt about how she wasn't going back up to their
room. He stomped inside and slammed the door shut behind him. Alan stood awkwardly by the door, unsure what to do. He finally followed Matt, closing the door behind him as well.
“I'm not going back in there. And I'm not crazy.” She sniffled.
“You don't have to.” Jacks put his arm around her and gestured toward the cabins. “We've got another room at our place or you can have your own cabin if you want.”
“And sleep alone?” She looked at him, her eyes wide, on the brink of panic but then she inhaled deeply and calmly smoothed her hair back from her face. “Maybe just for tonight, I'll stay at your place.” She started walking down the trail, with Jacks next to her, but sent a curious look over her shoulder at me. I tried to smile, but the pressure behind my eyes threatened to split my head in half. Something unpleasant twitched inside my stomach as I watched them walk away together, so I turned away from them and rubbed my temples.
“Ghosts, huh?” Skip murmured.
Winchester shifted and looked down at his feet. I didn't have to look at Connor to feel his penetrating stare.
***
“I’m just saying, it’s worth discussing…don’t’ you think?” I looked around the Rec room at the group, hoping they didn’t all think I was crazy. Clouds blocked out most of the morning sun which cast a dark glow throughout the room.
Connor cleared his throat and when he spoke, Kris finally looked up. “I think we should at least talk about it. Maybe it would help us understand what’s happening.” He leaned back into the couch and crossed his arms loosely around his chest.
I Hope You Find Me Page 22