Connor eased the truck slowly down the gravel road and we stared, wide-eyed, like children, at the smoky remains of the main structure. All of the shrubbery around it was gone and the trail that Fin had taken me down as a surprise was scorched. The greenhouse was a melted heap of glass and concrete. I couldn’t keep my chin from trembling.
Winchester and Skip jogged toward the truck, both covered in soot and soaking wet. Their happy smiles turned to concern when they got close enough to see the state of me.
“Oh, sweet Jesus.” Skip said as he opened my door.
“Where's the cart, Skip?” Connor asked as he hopped out of the truck. “She can't walk very well.”
He pointed to the Recreation building, where the cart was parked in front of it. Skip walked with Connor across the lawn while Winchester leaned in to help me stand.
“Did you put this out with just a garden hose?” I had noticed two green hoses curled up in heaps at the front of the building, and another stretched out from the Rec room, pointing at the back of the main house.
His hands were black, the nails gritty and cracked. His hair was messy and ashy. It was the first time I had ever seen Winchester dirty but he beamed with pride.
“Yep.” Then his face fell. “We lost the greenhouse though. Skip was able to grab a few things, but most of it is gone.” I nodded curtly.
“Is everyone okay?” I looked around for the others, but didn't see them. My damaged voice cracked with emotion.
“Yes. Kris, Ana and Jacks went down to the cabins and started packing up our stuff. For a while there we thought the fire was going to spread out. They just took a bunch of bags back down there, actually.”
I looked around at the trees that encroached the entire area. “Yeah, it's amazing it wasn't worse.” I paused before asking, “Where was Jacks?”
“What?”
“When the fire started…where was he?” I waited for him to look at me.
“Uh, he was with Ana, on the other side of the lake. They didn’t make it back here till after Fin and Connor left.” He looked down at his feet and slid his shoe along the ground, making a crescent moon shape in the dirt.
“Oh.” I said it with a sigh. So much for Jacks’ promise. When we actually needed him, he was off fooling around with Ana. Why didn’t that surprise me?
Winchester blinked, and asked, “Speaking of Fin, where is he?”
I looked at him sadly, tears filling my tired eyes. “He didn't...I mean, Matt...” I couldn't finish the sentence and collapsed into his arms, crying into fistfuls of his shirt.
***
The warm wind whipped around my face, tugging strands of hair out of my pony-tail and carrying the dry scent of summer with it. I sat cross-legged in the dirt, twisting a single yellow rose bud in between my fingers. Inhaling deeply, I leaned into the grassy mound with my right hand, and stretched my left arm back and forth. It wasn't completely healed yet, neither was the pain in my shin. Winchester had done a meticulous job of sewing the eight inch long gash up. It had healed nicely on the outside, but the slashed muscle was taking much longer to recover. I worried the limp in my gait would never go away, but considering how badly banged up the accident had left me, it could’ve been much worse.
The wind changed direction and pushed at my back, causing the pale blue gauzy top I wore to flutter around my waist and a familiar male smell came with it. Connor. I smiled over my shoulder at him and he sat down in the grass beside me. His jeans brushed against my thin, cotton shorts and he playfully banged our knees together.
“Hey baby, thought you might be here.” He said after tenderly kissing my cheek.
“It's a good spot, isn't it?” I rested my head on his shoulder and looked down at the yellow rose. Even though it hadn't fully opened, its fragrant essence fanned out around it, gracing nature with its aroma as only a rose can. Most of the potted roses had burned with the lodge but a few were salvageable. It took several weeks longer than usual for one particular rose bush to bloom and I held the first bud in my hand.
“It's perfect. You know he would love it here, right?” Connor said quietly.
I nodded.
The lake opened up in front of us, contrasting perfectly with the dark pine trees in the background and the tips of the mountains even further away. He put an arm around my shoulder and hugged me tightly. “Kris made an early dinner for everyone but come back whenever you're ready, okay?” I nodded again and smiled at him as he stood and walked away. I watched the breeze push against his shirt, flattening it to his upper body. He had let his hair grow out and the long, wispy dark waves reached just below his ears. At first he complained about the growing length of his hair, but with my assurance that it only made him sexier, he vowed not to cut it. I sighed heavily as he headed back toward the cabins where the others would be waiting. Skip and Winchester. Jacks and Ana...with the small bulge that was showing in her lower abdomen. Kris and Connor. My friends. My family.
A small, fuzzy rabbit hopped out from behind a tree but quickly dashed back under cover when it saw me. I smiled, happy that life had started anew...in the forest, at least. It had taken a while, but even our deer returned to the lake, sometimes coming as close as the cabin steps to say hello. She had filled out, losing her juvenile markings and was spotted most regularly by Kris, who spent at least two hours of each day hiking the trails around the lodge with the dog. In a way, I suppose the deer was a part of the family too.
I carefully dug my painted toes into the soft dirt and wild grass, trying not to badly mess up the pedicure that Kris had given me the day before, while the earth cooled my warm feet and I noticed movement in the sky. A sleek white bird flew in low over the water and dragged an elegant foot along the surface. Zoey raised her head and quietly huffed at the aviary display that rippled the lake water from the center out. Before the water's edge, the bird lifted with the breeze and floated into a nearby tree, timing its landing with rehearsed perfection.
“Fin.” I sighed. “We miss you.”
I looked at the mound of dirt encircled with dozens of smooth, round stones to my right and laid the flower delicately on top.
“I hope you find me again in the next life.” I whispered, as I rested my hand on his grave. “The first yellow rose is for you.”
THE END of BOOK ONE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
There are simply too many people to consider in this section, so I will keep my 'thanks' as short and sweet as possible! It took me over thirty-two years to write my first book; which is funny, because the actual 'act' of writing it took less than four months. It's been a dream I've had since I was fifteen years old, so just completing this project is a major accomplishment for me. And it would never have been possible without the ongoing support of my closest family and friends over the years. You have all been a part of my creative process in some shape or form. I thank each and every one of the people I've encountered over the last three decades or so. Each one of you has touched my life in a way that has made it possible for me to be where I am today. There are a few people I need to mention by name, so let's get that started!
Mom. I love you, and appreciate each sacrifice you have made in your life to ensure I was brought up the best way you could manage as a single parent. I don't say Thank You enough, so now it's in print: Thank You for everything! I love you, like you, and care about you, always.
To my own little family: Shane, not only are you my husband and partner, but you have been a constant support of this writing dream I've had since we've met. I don't think you could ever know how valuable this has been to me. Life has given us challenges, but you chose me and you're still here…for that I thank you and I love you. Rory and Foxx - you two are my rays of sunshine. I love your creative spirit, Rory. I hope you reach for the stars and find your dreams up there waiting for you. Foxx, you are my special little man and without you our family would not be complete. Your goofy smiles make everything better. Thanks for being so patient as Mommy works hard during nap times and
stays up late at night to write; I'm doing this for you guys. Love you both to the moon and back. And Zoey, you drive me nuts with your neurotic canine behavior but I love you anyway.
Thank you for the push Grandma Dawson. I've appreciated your feedback and interest in my short stories over the years. I love that you have shared my writings with your friends, and that you have encouraged me to actually DO something with it all. Love you lots.
You aren't with us anymore Teresa, but your spirit never leaves me. Even in death you are my personal cheerleader. When I doubt myself, I look at your pictures. It's really that simple, because when I see your smiling face I remember your laugh and know that if you were here you would give me that extra push - no questions asked, no judgments passed. You were like my second mom, I miss you dearly.
Thank you SO MUCH to the amazing ladies and friends that helped Edit this book! You made an exceptional Editing Team: Jennifer Peterson, Kerry Bigelow and Stephanie Perry Aguirre. You are all special friends, and your time and effort to help me make this story the best it can be is invaluable. I thank you all dearly!
To my Beta Readers: You were the first and you loved it! Without your insight, your patience, your questions and suggestions, I would never have made a second draft, a third, or even a fourth. This book is here in large part because YOU loved it. Thank you!
The cover art, one of the most important parts of any book, was done by my good friend Deborah Rogers. Thank you so much for your friendship and for your artistic abilities! I feel blessed to know a woman like you. Thanks for everything, sister!
Gladys Selfridge: You Rock! Thank you for not only being a part of the Beta Reader experience, but for following me on my researching adventures. Thank you for surviving the wilderness with me: muddy bare-feet and all. I appreciate your feedback and help with the eBook conversion too! I know so many keyboard shortcuts now! I have to thank your hubby, Sean Selfridge as well, for driving out into the mountains at night to pick us up from that last researching adventure. I'm glad he thought it was funny.
Hector Aguirre you must remember the total panic on my face when I thought for sure my computer crashed and I lost all of the work that preceded this section of the book. If not for your helpful, calm and always cool demeanor, I would surely have had some sort of massive coronary failure and dropped dead to the floor of my office. But since you fixed my computer, and made it better than it was before, I owe you…well, everything. Thank you, big bro.
Irene Aranda: thanks for being such a dear and long-time friend. I appreciate your patience over the years listening to my crazy dreams and story ideas. Look at what all that talk has amounted to! Thanks for being one of my best friends. Love you.
A very special THANK YOU must go out to the Mt. Laguna Fire Station 49 crew. I have learned that a Ford Focus has absolutely NO business being on a back country dirt road because you never know when a mud puddle is going to try and swallow up your car. Thank you for rescuing me and my friend from the muck and cold weather (Yes, this was a true story). Ty, Joe and Joel - you guys are all awesome, and I'm proud to know you wear the uniform. Can I also thank you…again…for not making me feel like an idiot when you saw exactly what I did to my car. Thank you guys for being amazing, and for laughing with me, not at me!
To DCBR: you ladies are all amazing and have been nothing but a constant support for me over the last several years. I am proud to call each and every one of you my friend.
Thank you to my fellow Book Club Ladies! I love what we have together as a group. I hope this book makes you proud! Thanks for your love, support and friendship.
To my San Diego Family: I grew up here and have spent the majority of my life in our beautiful City. I did take some liberties with this book however, and feel the need to explain. For starters, Connor's hotel is not real, neither is the Lodge. And anyone that has hiked the Laguna area knows that the lake is not really as big as I make it sound in this book. It's Fiction, after-all. BUT with that said, I hope I did our City proud.
I really don't think I would have gotten far if it weren't for Thesaurus.com. The site is amazing, and helped me tremendously!
Finally…if you've read this book and you are now a fan- thank you! I could have written this story just for myself and kept it hidden away in a folder on my laptop named 'ONLY IN MY DREAMS' but when I chose to share it I was happily surprised that people actually wanted to read it! So this is for you! I 'hope' you like it.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Trish was born and mostly raised in San Diego, California where she lives now with her family and pets. She's been writing short stories and poetry since high school, and began her first book, 'I Hope You Find Me' in December of 2011. When Trish isn't writing, she's homeschooling her amazing daughter and mildly autistic son, reading whatever she can get her hands on, or enjoying the Southern California sun. As a strict Vegetarian, Trish holds a special place in her heart for animal rights.
You can follow Trish here:
Twitter at https://twitter.com/Trish_Dawson
Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/WriterTrishMarieDawson
I Hope You Find Me Page 26