by Gary Smalley
Her cell buzzed, a reply from Julie: Thanks for praying. Just got to the hospital. Haven’t even seen Ray yet. Will call you if I think of something. Right now, job one is trying to keep the kids from freaking out about his surgery. LOL. Just pray. Talk soon.
The patio door opened.
Allan stepped past her and into the kitchen, set the cream on the counter. “I had an idea on the way home. Why don’t I put this in the fridge, and we go out for breakfast? Then we can swing by and visit the hospital.”
She walked toward him. “We can go someplace that has good coffee. How about Panera?”
“Sounds great. Are you ready to go?”
“I can be. Just give me a few minutes.” She headed toward the stairs. “By the way, I just texted Julie. She just got to the hospital. From the sound of it, she’s alone.”
“Then we should definitely go. And I’ll give her this,” he said, holding up the manila folder.”
They were almost to the hospital now. Michele glanced toward the backseat at the folder. “Is that the report about the orphanage?”
Allan nodded. “I know Ray won’t be in any shape to look at it today, but I’m guessing they’ll be keeping him a few days. He’ll probably be bored stiff.”
Neither one of them said anything for a few moments. Allan didn’t want to bring up what he was thinking. He’d been working on not talking about the orphanage very much. Every time he did, he’d use it as a reminder to take an interest in their baby challenges. It was starting to work. Now, only about half his daydreams took him back to Korah and to thoughts of little Ayana.
When he did go there, he’d see the same thing: an image of her squatting by a pile of garbage three times her size, poking through it with a stick. She’d hear him call, turn, and look up at him with those big brown eyes and bright smile.
“What do you think is going to happen now?”
Allan turned toward her voice. “What?”
“Wasn’t Ray supposed to leave for Africa on Tuesday?” she said.
“Yeah. He was. No chance of that now.”
“Wasn’t this kind of an important trip?”
Ridiculously important, he wanted to say. In fact, he had no idea what they were going to do now. “Pretty much. Ray was going to set everything up. Sign all the forms, pay all the up-front fees. Even get with Henok to select the first six children for the orphanage.”
“Is that little girl supposed to be one of them? What was her name?”
“Ayana.”
“Yeah, Ayana.”
“I hope so, but we put Henok in charge of selecting the children. I don’t think he’s talked to any of their legal guardians yet, including Ayana’s grandmother. He was waiting for Ray to get there.” They pulled into the hospital parking lot. “Wonder where we should park?” Signs pointed to the ER.
“Isn’t he there, in the ER?” Michele said.
“I don’t think so. That’s probably where they brought him at first. But I don’t think they’d do surgery there.”
“Well, it’s not that big of a place.”
“I’ll just park near the main entrance. Won’t hurt us to walk a little.” They parked, got out of the car, and headed toward the door.
“Allan, your folder.” They stopped walking. “You left it in the backseat.”
“Oh, right.” He headed back to the car, leaving Michele on the sidewalk. He wondered why she was suddenly taking such an interest in Africa.
47
A woman at the information desk had given them directions to the surgical waiting room. They were heading there now. Michele wasn’t sure where she was going with all these questions about Africa. Since their big talk a month ago, when Allan had agreed to shift his focus toward starting a family, she had tried to help by not taking an active interest in the orphanage plans.
But she was still using the children’s ministry notebook in her devotional time. This morning she was writing down memory verses about loving others. One that stuck out to her was from Philippians 2. She forgot which verse but not what it said: “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
That pretty much contradicted her plan to avoid any discussions about Africa. It was definitely something Allan was interested in. And he’d shown he really did care about her and her desire to focus more effort on starting a family. She didn’t feel alone anymore. Based on what that verse said, it was time to care about Allan’s world a little. He had been working so hard on this orphanage proposal, trying to help Ray get ready for this trip.
Up ahead, she saw the waiting room sign sticking out above a doorway. When they got inside, the room was mostly empty. A scattering of people here and there, some watching the news on a television hanging in the corner, others reading magazines or talking quietly on their cell phones. Julie was in the far corner by herself.
“Good thing we came,” Allan whispered. “She’s still alone.”
They held hands and walked toward her. She looked up as they came near. Michele could tell she had been crying. She sat beside her and gave her a hug. “How are you doing?”
“I guess I’m okay. They took him into surgery a few minutes ago. I know this isn’t a life-threatening thing, but it still got me when they wheeled him away.”
Allan sat on the other side. “They give you any idea how long he’d be in there?”
“They said maybe a few hours, if they didn’t run into any complications.” She sighed. “I wish they hadn’t said that last part.”
“It doesn’t mean anything,” Allan said. “I’m sure he’s going to be fine. I’ll bet the whole church is praying for him by now.”
“That’s what one of the other pastors said. They’re all on their way here.”
“Did the kids get to see their dad before surgery?”
“Just for a minute, before they rolled him away. They were so worried. All they wanted to know was how much it hurt.” She smiled. “He said, ‘I’m feeling no pain.’ They had already given him some kind of sedative. After they took him, my mom took the kids home for me.”
“I’m glad he’s not suffering,” Allan said.
“You saw the break?”
“By the time I got there, he was already on the gurney, his legs wrapped loosely in a blanket. But you could see—” He looked over at Michele. “I’m sorry, she doesn’t do well with these kinds of conversations.”
Julie reached for Michele’s hands. “That’s okay. Before Ray and I had children, I was an RN. Ray always wants me to be careful how I talk around the kids.”
“I don’t know why it bothers me,” Michele said. “It’s like nails on a chalkboard. I can’t even watch those scenes on CSI-type shows.”
“Ray can’t either. We have to watch them on the DVR, and he fast-forwards through them.”
No one said anything for a few moments. Michele wanted to keep Julie’s mind distracted. “Oh Julie, I almost forgot. I never got back to you about the children’s ministry notebook.”
“Oh, that’s okay. We still have awhile before we need to order anything. Did you get a chance to look it over?”
“I read it all the way through.”
“Really? So, what did you think?”
“Mostly, I loved it. I started reading it just thinking about the kids, but I really get what you mean about the section for the parents. I’m not a parent yet, but I learned a lot. I’m still getting a lot out of it.”
“Did you think the parts for the kids were too complicated? Think it might go over their heads?”
“No, I don’t think so. I think maybe the only weakness, if you’re thinking of it for a Sunday-morning curriculum, is you might need someone to come up with some creative games and activities that tie back to the material. But I’m sure there are all kinds of creative people in the church who could work on that.”
“I was thinking the same thing. But the content seemed so good to me. I figured we could work out something to make it fit the age group
we have in mind.”
“Definitely,” Michele said.
Julie turned a little in her chair. She looked at the manila folder in Allan’s hand. “Is that the orphanage report?”
“You know about that?” Allan said.
She nodded. “Ray told me that’s why you were at the house yesterday. To give him some kind of report.”
Allan held it out. “I don’t know when he’ll get to look at it, but I thought I’d bring it over anyway.”
“I’m sure he’ll want to see it, but you might want to hold on to it for now. At least until you can make a copy.”
Allan didn’t seem to get what she meant.
“He asked me to ask you—and he made sure that I tell you, you don’t have to do it—but he was wondering if you might share what he was gonna share with the church tomorrow.”
“What?”
Oh no, Michele thought. Allan hated talking in front of large crowds.
“He wants me to talk with the whole church?”
“That’s what he said. He knows you prefer to be a behind-the-scenes guy, but he’d really like the church to get this update.”
“But I wouldn’t know what to say.”
“He said you’d say that. He said to tell you he already wrote out everything last night. He just had a few blanks to fill in once he got your report.”
Poor Allan. He was trying to look open-minded, but Michele knew better.
“Is that really a good idea now?” he said. “I mean, with this accident . . . the trip’s going to have to be postponed now anyway, isn’t it?”
Julie looked at him. Then she reached into her purse, pulled out a handwritten note that was folded in half. “He asked me to give you this. The handwriting’s a little shaky. He wrote it before they gave him the pain meds.”
Michele’s eyes instantly locked on the note. Where was this leading?
Allan took it from Julie and unfolded it.
Michele stood up and walked over to Allan’s side so she could read it along with him.
Allan,
Hate to bring this up, my friend, but with this accident, I’m kind of stuck. As you know, I’m supposed to get on a plane this Tuesday and head over to Ethiopia, make this presentation to the government and get everything all set up. I doubt that can happen now. But we can’t cancel this meeting in Addis Ababa. We just can’t. Too much riding on it. I’ll explain why when I get out of surgery and I’m thinking straight again. In the meantime, would you please pray about taking my place? Maybe talk to Michele about it, see what she thinks? Maybe it can’t work, but I had to ask.
—Ray
48
Michele tensed up as she read the note over Allan’s shoulder. She noticed his hands gripping the note tighter by the time he was through. They both stood there a few moments.
Julie broke the ice. “Ray asked me to read the note before I gave it to you. I don’t think he expected Michele to be here when you got this.” She looked at Michele. “I’m not sure why, but I got the impression he thought you wouldn’t be too happy about the idea. Is it because the last trip wasn’t that long ago? I know it’s really hard when they go. It’s still hard on me, and Ray’s been on a bunch of these trips.”
Michele walked back to the chair. “Allan’s been on five since we met. But that’s only part of it.” This didn’t seem like the time or the place to have this kind of talk.
Allan spoke up. “I explained a little of this to Ray last month when he asked me to go with him. Did he tell you I said I couldn’t go?”
She nodded. “But he didn’t get into why.”
“I guess it’s really more a question of timing and priorities.”
“You don’t need to explain, Allan. That’s really between you and Michele. I know Ray wasn’t upset when he said it, so I’m sure he understands.”
Maybe so, Michele thought. But here he was, asking Allan to go again. She dreaded the thought, but she also felt the tug from that passage in Philippians this morning, about looking out for others’ interests not just your own. “There isn’t any way they can postpone this trip? Seems like they have a great excuse with Ray’s accident.”
“They may have to. But I could tell, the thought of cancelling was causing him more stress than the surgery on his leg.”
“Any idea why?” Allan asked.
“You’ll have to ask him for the details. He said something about losing the facility Henok picked out for the orphanage. Apparently some local businessmen are ready to buy it, even willing to pay more for it. He’s afraid the government will give it to them if someone doesn’t show up for that meeting.”
Michele looked at Allan. “That sounds pretty serious.”
He rubbed his hand through his hair. “Ray and I didn’t talk much about this. I thought it was a done deal. All my budget figures are based on this facility.”
Just then they heard some noise behind them. She turned to find two of the pastors and their wives coming into the waiting room. They rushed over toward Julie, hugged her, and greeted Allan and Michele.
“Well, look,” Allan said, “we’ll let you guys visit awhile together. I’ll check in on Ray in a few hours. Julie, you let us know if there’s anything we can do.”
“I will. And thank you guys so much for coming.”
Allan and Michele started walking toward the door.
Julie called out, “And Allan, don’t worry about that note. You guys just talk it out and pray. Ray will be fine with whatever you decide.”
They held hands but didn’t talk much on the way out to the car. Allan felt backed into a corner by Ray’s note. Especially reading it with Michele standing right there. Obviously, he would have told her about it, and they would decide together how to respond. The way it came about just added an extra layer of tension he didn’t need.
They got in the car. Allan turned it on. “That was a little awkward.”
“Are you okay?” she asked.
The gentleness in her voice surprised him. He pulled out of the parking space. “I’m fine. I have no idea what to do. What we should do.”
They drove out of the hospital parking lot. She reached over and massaged his right shoulder. “I guess it’s not possible for one of the other guys on the team to go?”
He didn’t want to answer this too strongly, but the truth was they couldn’t. The guys were completely committed to this vision, but none of them had been involved in this thing as much as him or Ray. “I wish they could. Don’t get me wrong, they’re great guys. But they’ve only been doing things like fund-raising so far. It would take more time than we have to get any of them up to speed enough to take Ray’s place.”
“But you’re ready now, aren’t you? You could go there Tuesday and take care of everything, just like Ray.”
Allan looked over at her. She was serious. “Well, not just like Ray. He’s way better with people than I am. Especially people he doesn’t know. On this trip, that would pretty much include everybody except Henok.”
“But you could do this if you went, couldn’t you?”
“I guess so. To be honest, I’m more nervous about the thought of getting up in front of the whole church tomorrow to talk about this.”
They drove in silence the rest of the way home. Allan turned on some pleasant, romantic music. One of Michele’s favorite CDs. He couldn’t believe her reaction to all this. It sounded like she was seriously thinking he should go. He hadn’t let his mind go there as he read the note. He wasn’t even sure what he thought about it. He’d never been to Africa without Ray. He’d never been there alone. Certainly sounded like he’d be alone on this trip if he went. And the stakes were so high.
They pulled into the one-lane road that ran behind the townhomes.
“Does the thought of doing this alone make you nervous?” she asked.
Man, did she know him. He pushed the garage door button. “Totally. On all these trips, I’ve been like the sergeant. But Ray’s not been the lieutenant, more like the general
. He handles everything.” He pulled the car in, he stopped, turned it off and looked at her. “Are you seriously thinking I should do this?”
“I’m seriously going to pray about it. I don’t want you to go. I really don’t want you to go. But, I also don’t know what God’s doing here, why he allowed this to happen.”
“What if I mess it up, Michele?”
“I don’t know, Allan. If God wants you to do this, we have to believe he’ll go before you and give you the wisdom you need when the time comes. Can we get out of the car? It’s starting to get stuffy.”
When she was halfway across the sidewalk, she said, “Do we have enough money for you to go? You do the bills. Is there enough in the new baby account?”
He couldn’t even believe his ears. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
“What? Why?”
He found the key to unlock the back door. “Because you know we don’t have money for both of these things, and having a child means more to you than anything else in the world. We’ve just started building the fund, and just like that, you’re offering it to me for another trip to Africa?” He was actually getting a little choked up. He left the keys in the doorknob, put his arms around her, and drew her in.
After the hug, she said, “Well, do we?”
“I’ll have to crunch the numbers, but . . . I think so.” Mentally, he did a few quick calculations. If he was adding it right, they did have enough. But this trip would use up almost all the money they had saved. At most, there’d be a few hundred dollars left.
49
Allan was driving back to the hospital a few hours after dinner. Julie had texted him, saying Ray’s surgery had gone well. He was recovering nicely and was actually asking to see Allan. She’d added she was just conveying the message, not trying to pressure him in any way.
Off and on over the last few hours, he and Michele had continued talking about this Africa trip. To his surprise, her support of the idea never wavered. She had even suggested he look at the financial picture before meeting with Ray, in case there was a gap and they needed a little help from the church to close it.