I crawled forward, spotting the door on my left. My hand slipped, slick with sweat. It trickled down my brow but I forged forward on my elbows until the air blowing beneath the doorframe grazed my fingertips. I reached for the handle, snapping it down just as the nurse and security guards stormed back through the emergency exit door and into the corridor.
I heaved the door open with my shoulder before falling inside. It fell closed behind me and then I just stayed there, my face pressed to the cool linoleum until my vision wasn’t speckled black anymore. I crawled to my elbows and then my knees. When I looked up so did he. Dark bruises bled out from beneath the restraints. He clenched his fists, eyes tracking my every move.
“Calvin?” I whispered.
I moved closer to the bed, letting him see my face. He honed in on the familiar bruises instead, my forearms marked with the shadow of the restraints too.
“You shouldn’t be in here,” he said. “They’ll find you.”
“I know,” I answered.
He shivered. “What do you want?”
I shrunk, not sure how to start. I looked from his restraints to his hands, his fingernails ripped and ragged and bloody. Specks of it stained the sheets and his gown beneath them.
“How long have you been trying to escape?” I asked.
He paused, examining me. “What do you really want?”
I looked away, the thin grey lines against the shared wall between our rooms catching my attention for the first time. At first glance they looked like scribbles, the shapes sometimes geometric and sometimes manic, the layers sprawling from floor to ceiling nonsensical until Calvin lifted a hand. It cut the light, his fingers flexed and dancing in the sunset as it streamed through the window. Shadows moved against the wall as he twisted his hands, puzzle pieces locking in place between the other lines and shapes. There were stars and trees, silent faces of ghosts peering out from behind the leaves.
“You’ve seen the shadows,” I finally said.
He looked up at the ceiling. “That’s why I’m here.”
“Because they think you’re crazy…” My face fell. “What is this place?”
Calvin studied me again, brow furrowed. “No.”
I watched him, waiting for an explanation.
“You don’t understand,” he said. “I’m not here because I’ve seen the shadows. I’m here because I dreamed them.” He lay flat, staring at the ceiling again. “I’m not here because I’m crazy. I’m here because I was. Because they drove me here.”
I leaned against the bed railing, my legs wanting to give out again. “What do you mean?”
His voice hardened, words coming faster this time. “I mean, they found me in the real world, trapped me in a nightmare, and are now in the process of driving me out of my mind.”
“This…this isn’t the real world,” I said.
He lifted his head, a tremor travelling from his jaw to his clenched fists. “Have you been listening to anything I’ve been saying? This isn’t real. It’s a nightmare.”
My mouth quavered. “…yours?”
He settled against the mattress, thinking. “I don’t know. If I were in my own head, I would have found a way out by now.”
Out. My heart raced at the word. I immediately turned my attention to Calvin’s restraints, loosening them a notch at a time until he could slip his arms through. He bent forward, just as dizzy as I’d been as we each worked on his foot restraints. Once he was free, I backed away, careful of not touching his skin before we could find a way out.
I faced the door but his voice stopped me.
“Not that way.” He stepped to the wall between our rooms, swiping his hand an inch from the surface, feeling for something. He glanced back to the window. “Once the sun goes down.”
“What happens then?”
I heard the click of the doorknob and then it slammed against the wall. The guards who’d been searching for me earlier rushed inside, torn between which one of us to grab first. One of the guards lurched for Calvin and I jumped in his path, grabbing Calvin first.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, mostly because I didn’t know what was going to happen to him after I took his dreams. I didn’t know if he’d be free or dead. Maybe he’d been trapped here so long that they were somehow the same.
Calvin twitched, fighting off a vision that played in both our heads. I saw the day Calvin arrived at the hospital, everything washed in a rose-colored tint. The blood on his hands was bright and he stared down at where it gushed from a wound in his side. He was soaking wet, towels draped around him and flapping against the wheels of the gurney as he was pushed into an empty room.
The vision zoomed in, slipping straight into his right iris like a syringe until I could see the thoughts racing through his head. As Calvin was dragged into that hospital room, driven there by the shadows and his own fears, he wasn’t thinking about the pain or even the numbing shock. He wasn’t thinking about the wound or what had caused it. He was thinking about her smile, something he’d never really seen up close. Something he’d never gotten to taste even though he’d woken up every morning aching for some piece of her he could take with him from the dream. But the girl wasn’t just in Calvin’s dreams. She was one of them.
Shay.
Her phosphorescent skin had led him out of the shadow’s grasp and into safety before. She’d been his beacon. His safe haven. He honed in on her face, forcing out every other memory except her eyes. His reflection floated in them, face warped behind a single tear.
As Calvin replayed the memory of the last time he’d seen her I couldn’t help but begin to sift through his desires instead. Because I knew that whatever he’d wanted to say to Shay just before disappearing were the words she’d always wanted to say to him too.
I imagined those words floating up from his lungs, echoing inside his head until they were just right. I amplified them, burning the memory to his soul as if it were real, giving them both the goodbye they deserved. Their first kiss. Their last. Calvin absorbed the moment. He flinched, relieved, and then he smiled.
Before letting go, I tried his words in my own voice, imagining that Roman was in front of me, that we were both okay. But then Calvin’s memories flickered to black and I remembered that I was not okay. As Calvin slipped to the floor, disintegrating in my hands, I wasn’t sure if he would be either.
I was snatched up by the arm, the skin of the guard’s hand sizzling as he let go with a scream. I stared down at my arms, at the glow swirling up like fog. The next guard tread carefully, baton outstretched as he coaxed the nurse forward. She gripped the syringe like a knife, long needle exposed.
I backed against the wall, Calvin’s drawings like thin veins against my back. The glow from my skin stretched, reaching for the wall, and then I felt those veins begin to pulse.
The nurse was the first one to stop at the sound. It hummed in and out, so low I could only sense it in my skin. The pulse grew louder until I couldn’t tell if the beating was coming from the walls or inside me. It quickened, muffled like the way it used to sound when one of Dr. Sabine’s nurses would draw too much blood and I was on the verge of passing out. The guards looked nauseous too. The nurse gripped the bed railing, just as faint.
One of the guards shot a hand to his hip as if there’d be some weapon there more powerful than his trusty baton. There wasn’t. And when the wall stretched, coming apart in pieces that were half shadow and half flesh, all he could do was cower. The guard next to him was straight as a rod, staring at the shadows as they slipped in and out of bodies he recognized.
I scrambled to my feet, still weak but stronger than I’d been before taking Calvin’s dreams. The shadows sensed me move and then they converged, climbing into a monster I’d never seen before. It was all mouth, a gaping black hole that screamed pain into every bone in my body. I thrust out a hand, trying to draw out the light again. It sparked. Just a spark. I screamed, shaking as the mouth widened. And then it swallowed me.
66
<
br /> Dani
I bolted for the stairs, almost slamming into Vogle who was trying to keep the Rogues calm. Cole and Adham followed, the sight of Bryn’s body stopping all of us in the doorway. Stassi’s arms were limp, her skin a sallow shade of purple, the color blooming darkest under her eyes.
I knelt in front of her. “You’re drained.”
She smiled and it almost broke her. “She’s breathing.”
I didn’t move, afraid to see what stirred beneath the blankets. Stassi had been alone in this room more than anyone. Now she was sick. What if that was all she’d seen? Her weakness conjuring delusions instead of memories.
“The snow,” Stassi said. “She’s in it. I could feel it falling against her skin.”
Snowflakes settled against the blankets; drifting down over our heads. They stuck to me, soft and cold, the crystals refusing to melt. Instead, they built castles, covering the furniture in white, clinging to one another in intricate shapes.
Bryn was covered in them, my eyes desperately searching for what was waking underneath. At first there was nothing, the stillness just as heart wrenching as it had been the day Roman carried in Bryn’s body. But then Stassi reached for my hand, her thumb tapping out the rhythm of Bryn’s breaths, the slight rise and fall of her chest sending a single snowflake tumbling.
I gripped Stassi’s hand, my heart pounding. “She’s…alive?”
Stassi sighed. “Not yet. But we’re close.” She squeezed back. “We’re close.”
My hand inched across the quilt, the only one of us who could actually reach for her. I brushed the snow from Bryn’s fingers, tangling them with mine. And then I saw her.
“The snow…” The sound came out in tufts of fog. “I can feel Roman too.”
I felt the warmth of his arms around her and then I felt Stassi too, her hold on me tightening. My sight tangled with her dreams the same way my fingers were tangled with Bryn’s. But I was only watching, seeing what she’d seen. Not putting her back together. Not bringing her back to life.
“Bryn…” I waited for my voice to swell between the trees the same way it had manifested in the car with Felix and Adham. But even if she could hear me, I wasn’t sure what I would tell her. To keep fighting the same way we were. To come home… “Bryn…”
She collapsed, Roman rushing to her side. I thought she’d been startled by the sound but then I saw what had sent her to the ground instead. Sebastían. He saw me too.
Heat hurled me out of the vision and I let go of Bryn’s body just before the flame raced from my skin to hers. The floor beneath me was scorched, the part of the bed I’d been leaning against just barely smoking. Everyone checked me for burns too.
“I’m okay.” I coughed up smoke.
“You were almost fried like an egg.” Cole gripped me in handfuls. He paused, stripping the memories from my skin. His eyes narrowed. “Sebastían…”
My face fell. “I couldn’t get to her in time.”
Cole’s shoulders heaved.
“What happened?” Adham asked.
“Sebastían attacked Bryn and then he forced me out of the vision.”
“He saw you?”
I nodded. “Bryn didn’t.”
“I have an idea.” Cole had barely composed himself but beneath the crazy he looked…certain.
Adham tread carefully. “What are you thinking?”
Cole let out a breath. “I’m thinking it’s time…”
Stassi took my hand, Cole gripping my forearm as my fingers inched towards Bryn’s body again. We were sucked in immediately, Cole sifting through Bryn’s memories. And then mine. He flipped through page after page of Oswald’s notes, the word KEY burning bright. Then he carried that vision like a torch. Back through Bryn’s nightmares, back through hospital after hospital, back through Germany and our grandmother’s childhood.
I heard the low rumble of stone, of something breaking. Or breathing. But it wasn’t in Bryn’s memories. The sound was outside, scratching at the vision like a needle teasing the skin of a balloon. Through Bryn’s eyes I watched Anso vanish with our great-grandmother. I watched her fall in the empty space they’d left behind, her fingers unfurling as something small glinted in the dark.
The rumbling grew louder, the needle pressing deeper into the balloon. And then it popped, the vision disintegrating as the walls began to shake. When I opened my eyes Bryn’s body was glowing, the light Anso had extinguished in her draining from Cole and slipping beneath her skin. She was alive the same way that stars were, Stassi, Cole, and I orbiting around her like planets around the sun.
The table lamp next to the bed shattered as cracks raced up the walls. The hardwood broke apart, planks loose and rattling. Dust glittered down from the ceiling, mixing with the snow. But I just held her, watching her breathe, watching her dream.
“We have to get downstairs.” Adham forced Cole to break his hold, Bryn dimming.
“No!”
Something like a scream sounded from downstairs.
“Dani…” Cole pleaded, pointing.
The locket my great-grandmother had been holding was strung around Bryn’s neck. It glinted, cracked just enough for me to see the black and white photo inside. The walls quaked again, a crash making us all jump. I rushed to snatch the locket from her throat just as the light vanished.
67
Roman
My hands caught the floor. It was still spattered with the water that had dripped from her hair, the puddles cold as they bled into the grout. I searched for another piece of my mother but there weren’t any. Because she wasn’t in pieces.
She was safe. Somewhere, she was safe.
The puddles burst, racing across the bathroom floor like tiny rivers until my jeans were soaked through. I turned at the slap of water. It poured over the side of the bathtub, running so cold it stung. The sink faucet twisted on with a groan, water spilling over the edge of it too.
I crawled towards the door, slipping and coming down on my elbows. My clothes hung from me like ice. When I finally reached the doorknob it spun in my fist but the door wouldn’t open. Even when I threw myself against it. Even when I tried to burn through the wood. The metal handle melted, the door burning to the frame.
My back pressed against it as the cold gripped my lungs and squeezed. The water grazed my waist, trying to lift me off the ground. It splashed against my shoulder. My chin. It lapped against my lips and I took one last breath before slipping under.
Everything was black, the water murky and thick as mud. I raised a glowing hand, fanning the light out in front of me until I could see the reeds drifting in the current and the algae covered stones. And the blood. It swam up from the gash in my hand, streaking the water like scroll.
The wound throbbed, the quarry water running through it making it sting even more. I knew I was in the quarry because it was Carlisle who’d lured me here and nailed me to the side of the bridge. Which meant that, somewhere, he was here too.
The current swept past my fingertips, changing direction. My chest clenched, insides burning as the blood flowing through my veins changed direction too. The shadow thrashed against my insides, the force igniting bubbles. But it wasn’t trying to escape. It was trying to make me ignite.
Carlisle dove for me from behind the murky mess. He caught me in the cheek, the blade in his fist swiping at my ear.
I kicked back, trying to dodge him, trying to ignore the ache for air. But he lunged for me again, our bodies twisting, my hands clutching his wrists. I finally got behind him, my arms wrapped around his throat. I tried to climb toward the surface but he swung back, the blade burying itself in my thigh.
He kicked, swimming out from my grip. The current sent me tumbling and I snatched up a stone just as he found my legs. He pinned them down and then I swung, the stone carving into his forehead.
The current tugged him forward and this time I knew for certain that he wasn’t fighting it. This time I knew there was no way he still could. It let go of him, the
mud settling, and as my body convulsed, desperate for air, all I could see was his silhouette. I blinked, the darkness bleeding into my vision, into every part of me. I strained to open my eyes one last time and then I watched him sink.
Grass scraped my stomach but this time there were no ambulance lights. There were no paramedics or squad cars. No hiss of running engines, steam from the exhaust pipes falling into the quarry like smoke.
This time there was only darkness.
There was only me.
I rolled over the side of the bank, my head still hanging over the edge. I let the water drip into my eyes, stinging. I let the cold prick like needles across my skin.
The water was so black it blinked back at me, warped by my reflection. Not the way I wanted to be. But the way I was. This was the face Carlisle had seen just before I cut him open. The face Bryn had seen the night I attacked Drew. The face I’d shown my dad in that split-second he’d been in my crosshairs, the wall taking the blow I’d meant for him.
A drop of water broke the center, ripples expanding and shielding the monster from sight. But then the water settled again, those same eyes staring back at me.
The moist grass beneath me sizzled, the bank scorched as I swung. My fist collided with the water, spray blinding me as something yanked me over the edge. My body broke the surface, the current dragging me straight down. I scrambled, trying to clear the bubbles.
The blade caught my cheek before I could brace myself. Carlisle clawed at me, my hands thrusting him back just far enough for me to see his face. It was alive, unchanged. Not like the one I wore.
He examined me too, bubbles trailing from his lips as he growled. Angry that I wasn’t fighting back. Was I supposed to be? Between the two of us, I was the only ghost. The only dead thing. If I let go of Carlisle, if I gave up, maybe it would stay that way.
The Girl In Between series: Books 1-4 Page 135