by Vicki Tharp
Which brought Demetri to the now shirtless man kneeling in a puddle of water in his guest bath, wrenching on the stubborn valve.
“Sorry about that,” Demetri said as he retrieved the bucket and mop from the hall closet and started sopping up the mess. It could have been worse. Instead of clean water, he could be mopping up sewage. “I turned it on this morning to take a shower and forgot to turn it off again.”
Joss grunted as the rusty valve finally broke free. “Don’t worry about it. It comes with the territory on remodels.”
“I appreciate you helping me out. I needed to start the remodel process somewhere. The leaky valve pushed me to stop putting it off.”
“Yeah, well, it’s you I should be thanking.” A flush of crimson rolled up the back of Joss’s neck, and he glanced over his shoulder at Demetri but couldn’t or wouldn’t make eye contact. “When the Santa Anas kick up, and I’m grounded, I need a distraction, something to keep me from reliving Dan’s accident over and over again. The supplemental income doesn’t hurt either.”
Demetri didn’t know Joss well, and only knew the basics about how Joss’s partner, Dan, had died some years before in a skydiving accident.
“I’m sorry.”
Joss shrugged but didn’t turn around. “I’m pretty much over it now. It was a long time ago.”
If Joss was so over it, why did he need a distraction every time the wind kicked up? “That’s not what Vin says.”
“I love the guy, but Vin needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.”
“Love?” Demetri poked, mostly teasing.
Joss pivoted, the replacement valve in his hand with some sort of white tape wrapped around the threads. This time, Joss met his eyes, and Demetri stopped mopping. “It’s not like that. Vin had his eyes on your cousin for a long damn time, way before the two of us ever got together. We were never meant to last. I’m glad he finally got the man he wanted. It’s good to see him happy.”
Demetri couldn’t argue with that, so he started mopping again, trying to get as much water as he could out of the bathroom so Joss would have a dry space to work.
Joss picked up his wrench and started tightening the valve. “You going to take that guy up on his offer?”
“Who? Collin?”
“You have another naked guy out there propositioning you? Because if you do, maybe I need to move closer to town. That never happens to me out there in the foothills.”
“To answer your question. No. And no.” Demetri wrung out the mop for what seemed like the hundredth time, feeling like he was trying to sop up the overflow of the Hoover Dam with a kitchen sponge. “You on the dating apps?”
Demetri wanted the question back as soon as he’d asked it because the natural follow up to that was, are you?
“Occasionally.” Joss shrugged as he stood and wiped his hands on a red shop towel. “The apps fill a need. But I’m not expecting anything more out of those one-and-done encounters.”
Then came the question Demetri had dreaded.
“How about you?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Isn’t it always?”
Demetri hated being so vague, especially when Joss had opened up a bit to him as they negotiated the corners and boundaries of their budding friendship. Demetri’s diagnosis wasn’t a strict secret, but it also wasn’t something he disclosed to just anybody.
Hence the it’s complicated answer to Joss’s question.
And while Demetri applauded the way some men on the apps didn’t shy away from putting their similar diagnoses on their profiles, Demetri had reasons to conduct his life with a little more caution and care.
Besides, as difficult and heart-pounding as it was, he preferred to deliver that kind of personal information face to face.
If his truth became general knowledge, he worried it would affect his bid at tenure at Winston College. And he wasn’t at a point in his life where he wanted to find out.
“Well, maybe someone completely unexpected will drop into your life,” Demetri said, pivoting the attention away from himself. “App or no app. All I’m saying is maybe you should be open to it.”
“Good advice.” Joss planted his hands on his hips. He was a big guy, and there was hardly enough room in the bathroom for two grown men. “Maybe you should take it.”
“Fuck that,” Demetri said with a grin.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Demetri’s front door closed, and at first, he thought Collin had left something behind, but then his cousin, Niko Stavros, called out. “You ready?”
Niko came around the corner of the den. The water had seeped out of the hall. Before Demetri could call out a warning, Niko stepped into the puddle in a pair of Louboutins that probably would have cost Demetri a month’s pay. But then again, when you owned Black Stallion Studios, one of the premier producers of gay porn, you could afford a lot of the finer things in life.
“Why are you so dressed up?” Demetri took his cousin in from his water-splashed dress shoes to his custom-tailored suit in a light charcoal gray. The thin material probably worked well with the summer heat.
“Why aren’t you?” Niko stuffed his hands into the front pockets of his suit pants and lifted that dark brow that always seemed to have too much to say.
Because... “Oh, shit.” The answer hit him. He dug his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. “The art exhibit is tonight.”
“Bingo.”
A noise came from the bathroom down the hall. From where Niko stood, he wouldn’t be able to see who was inside.
“You’re not alone?” It came out more as a statement than a question because unless his house had suddenly become haunted, the answer to that was obvious. And the way Niko said alone, with that upward tilt to one side of his mouth, it had a conspiratory spill the deets kind of tone to it. As if Niko had walked in on Demetri sucking a guy off in his bathroom.
Wouldn’t have been beyond the realm of possibility.
Before.
Joss must have stepped out of the bathroom because Niko’s brows knitted together, and a deep line formed between them. “What the hell is he doing here?”
2
Roman dressed in his black slacks and white dress shirt for his shift with the catering company. His experience as a bartender was one of the things that helped him land the job with the company his roommate, and best friend from high school, worked for.
Work being the operative word. Moses Padillo did as little work as he could get away with. But then again, he could afford to. Roman wasn’t as lucky to have a parent sliding him money for rent every month. He had to hustle for every dollar. Sometimes that meant making sacrifices, but he was determined to do what it took to graduate and get on with his life.
He grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter on his way to the front door. In the den, Moses sat on the couch playing video games.
Over the back of the couch, Roman lifted one of the earpieces of Moses’ headset. “I’m out of here.”
“Wait. What?” Moses scrambled to pause his game and twisted on the couch to give Roman his full attention. Moses was a small guy with big eyes, black hair, and sweetly dark sense of humor. “I thought we were going to Exeter tonight.”
“Chris needed me to take his shift. My wallet is running on empty. I need all the shifts I can get before school starts up.”
“But—”
“But nothing. You don’t need me to help you pick up guys. You can get laid without my help.”
Moses rolled his guyliner-enhanced eyes. “I know that. I wanted you there in case I picked up more than one. We haven’t had a foursome in—”
“That was one time.”
“One fun time.” Moses pouted. “Besides, I worry about you. You haven’t gotten laid since you’ve been here and—”
“I get laid plenty.”
Moses laughed. “Since when did plenty become synonymous with hardly any? Do you think anyone told Merriam-Webster? Or do you think it’s
an Urban Dictionary kind of thing?”
“Remind me again why I thought it was a good idea to room with you?”
“Because you love me?”
“Like a diabetic loves chocolate, maybe. Besides, not everyone can be as slutty as you. And I mean slutty in the best, most sex-positive way. Go get you some. Don’t wait on me.”
“I won’t.” Moses grinned. He had the best grin. All teeth that always added a shine to his eyes. It was one of the first things Roman had noticed about him on his first day of algebra class back in middle school. They’d bonded over the fact that they both couldn’t get enough of Mr. Levitt’s ass as he wrote on the whiteboard.
“Besides,” Moses continued, “you like that old, dried up dick. You won’t find those guys at Exeter. They’re all up in Palm Springs with—”
“Just because sometimes I dig guys who are a bit older—”
“Don’t look now, Roman, but I think your daddy issues are showing.”
Roman swatted him up the backside of his head, but Moses only laughed. What did Moses know about daddy issues anyway?
And liking older men, that didn’t mean Roman had daddy issues.
Probably.
What the hell is he doing here?
Niko’s words echoed in Demetri’s head, and he wondered if he was going to have to break up a fight. “Back off, Niko.”
Joss pulled his still-damp shirt on over his head, the wet patches clinging to his broad chest. He had a good four or five inches on Niko, but when you were as big as Joss, you towered over most people. Sometimes Demetri wondered how Joss ever fit behind the yoke of his plane. Did they make cockpits in jumbo sizes?
“You’re not still cross with me, are you?” Joss didn’t seem annoyed with Niko’s open hostility. If anything, Joss seemed amused. “You won. You got Vin. I’m not a threat here. And honestly, hindsight and all, I never really was.”
Niko took a step back, making a move as if he were about to run his hand through his hair, but he must have thought better of it since he’d gone through the trouble of gelling his dark hair. Instead, he raised his hands in surrender. “You’re right.”
Those two words... it sounded as if someone had reached deep down into Niko’s throat and pulled them out with a barbed hook. It looked painful.
“Look,” Joss said to Demetri, “I’m going to get out of here. I replaced the valve and can turn the water back on for now.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Joss bumped his chin toward the front of the house. “You hiding Vin in the car?”
“No. He’s working on some film edits. He’s meeting us there.”
“Be sure to tell him I said hello.”
“I’ll do that.” Niko sounded sincere enough, but Demetri knew better. Despite the fact Joss wasn’t a threat to Niko and Vin’s new relationship, Demetri figured Niko had zero intention of passing on the greeting.
Demetri walked Joss to his Jeep and returned to find Niko with his suit coat off, his sleeves rolled up, and the mop in his hand.
“Go get a shower. We’re running late.”
Which was Niko’s sly way of changing the subject from his blatant jealousy to Demetri’s inconvenient forgetfulness.
“Can’t you give Grant, Bass, and Tavi my excuses and—”
“No. I can’t. You promised you’d be there. It’s not every day Grant and Sebastian’s foster kid has his first art exhibit. You need to be there to support them. And if you don’t want Bass on your ass at every family dinner from now until eternity, you’ll keep that promise.”
“Look, the kid’s got talent, but today’s not a good day. I don’t see why—”
Niko took Demetri by the shoulders and turned him down the hall and gave him a light shove. “Grant and Tavi are family now. That’s why.”
Fuuuck.
Demetri loved his big extended family, but that didn’t mean he liked it when Niko was right.
After a quick shower, Demetri stood at his sink, a towel wrapped around his waist as he lathered his face with shaving cream.
Niko came into his bedroom and leaned a shoulder against the door jamb of the bathroom. “Oh, and by the way, I volunteered you to help Grant with his community project. You know, the one with the vacant lot and—”
Their eyes locked in the mirror, Demetri’s hand stilling, mid-stroke. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right?”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?”
This was why Demetri was sometimes glad he didn’t have an older brother. Niko could be overbearing enough.
“Well, I told them you would, so...”
Demetri rinsed his razor and continued shaving. At this point, the event would be over before they got there. He stretched his neck out to shave underneath his jaw. “Then I guess you’ll have to un-volunteer me. I’ve got classes starting up next week. I don’t have the time.”
“They’d only need you on the weekends. Besides, it’s not like you’ve got anything else going on in your life.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t change the situation any. If I could draw something more than a stick figure, I’d have volunteered myself, but you’re the artist of the family, and you know how important it is for this project of Grant’s to make a good impression on the city council. If he can get the council behind him, it will be that much easier for him to bring additional services to his Center.”
With a final swipe, Demetri rinsed his razor and wiped the remaining shaving cream off with a hand towel. He turned to Niko. “If I’m volunteering my time, then you’re ponying up the money for the supplies.”
“That’ll run into the thousands.”
Demetri looked his cousin up and down. “Or the price of one tailored suit.”
Niko barked out a laugh. “Fuck, you’re grumpy today. But it’s a deal.”
They didn’t shake on it. Niko was as good as his word.
Demetri disappeared into his closet to get dressed. Through the open door, he said, “And I’m not grumpy. I would appreciate a heads up before I’m being voluntold to do something.”
Niko sat on the bench at the foot of Demetri’s bed. He had a direct line of sight into Demetri’s closet. Being a porn director, Niko didn’t think twice about privacy, and Demetri had gotten so used to Niko’s lack of boundaries that he didn’t even turn around as he dressed.
“Maybe you just need to get laid.”
Demetri sifted through the clothes in his closet. He located a summer weight, light gray suit he usually saved for spring graduations. “You know damn well why I haven’t.”
“You’re more than your diagnosis, Dem.” Niko’s voice dropped, and the compassion in his words made Demetri’s throat tight.
Niko had been there when Demetri had received the news and had metaphorically held his hand the entire way through the early, uncertain days and the start of treatment. Demetri couldn’t have asked for him to be more supportive.
He wished Niko would now mind his damn business and stay out of his sex life. Or the shredded remains of it.
“I know that.” Demetri didn’t know if he said it loud enough for Niko to hear. Didn’t matter. Maybe he was the one who needed to hear it most.
Demetri slipped into a light pink dress shirt and knotted a dark purple silk tie around his throat and called it good. “Let’s go already.”
They drove in Niko’s car. Now that Niko had a captive audience, he wouldn’t let Demetri’s sex life drop. “There are plenty of guys out there living full lives with HIV. You’re no different.”
Easy to say when you weren’t poz.
“I tried getting back into dating after I became undetectable.”
Niko took his eyes off the road, and Demetri had to tell him to go when the light changed. “You never told me that.”
“That’s because my sex life isn’t your business. I keep trying to tell you that, but you don’t listen.”
“Well?”
“Well, what?”
“How did it go?”
“Let’s just say that people are less forgiving and less willing to educate themselves that undetectable equals untransmittable than I’d given them credit for.”
“You disclosed?”
Demetri stared at Niko as if he’d lost every last one of his marbles. “Of course, I disclosed.”
“On the first date?”
“Well, yeah, I don’t want—”
“Maybe you shouldn’t. You take your meds religiously. You’re undetectable. You are a safer guy to have sex with than someone who doesn’t get tested and know their status. Maybe you don’t need to disclose anything.”
“I know some guys who don’t. And I get it. I’ve been tempted so many damn times. But I can’t. I don’t have a problem kissing or jacking a guy off or giving him a blowjob. He wouldn’t contract it through that kind of contact even if I were detectable, but I’m not going to have penetrative sex or let someone suck me off without disclosing. I think my sex partners have a right to know, so that’s a personal hard line I’ve drawn.”
“Okay,” Niko said, drawing the word out as he thought. He pulled into the parking lot of the art gallery and shoved the gearshift into park. “Have you thought about maybe waiting to disclose until a guy gets to know you first? Maybe once he’s a little invested in you, he won’t be so quick to run.”
“I don’t want to be dishonest.”
“It’s not dishonest. There’s nothing wrong with not hooking up on a first date. It might be boring, but—”
“Fuck you,” Demetri said with a laugh.
“Give it a try, will you?”
Demetri hated to admit that Niko might be right twice in one night. A wide grin spread across Niko’s face. He knew it, too.
“Fine. I’ll give it a try. But if this blows up in my face—”
“You can blame me.”
Damn right, he would.
3