by Vicki Tharp
But he couldn’t sit there all night looking at Demetri and not want him. He needed to leave before he did or said anything he shouldn’t. He stood and backed away, intending to leave the way he’d come. “I’ll see you in class on Wednesday?”
Demetri stood as well. “You’re allowed to leave through the front. Come on.”
At the back door, Demetri cut off the pool lights, and Roman followed him through the dim house, a hall light providing some illumination. At the front door, he willed himself to grab the handle and leave, but he couldn’t do it.
“I’ll see you this weekend at the community lot, right?” Demetri asked.
“I’ll be there.” Roman leaned in one last time, brushing his lips against Demetri’s. He tasted of the beer they’d shared.
Light from the streetlight down the road highlighted the relief on Demetri’s face. Or was that desire?
Fuck.
No.
Leave.
“Stay.”
If Roman had taken a breath, he wouldn’t have heard it.
Even though the house remained silent, Roman wondered if he’d heard correctly. That one word had to be a figment of Roman’s over-indulgent imagination. He hadn’t even seen Demetri’s lips move.
“Stay,” Demetri said again, louder, surer, and more forceful this time.
Damn him.
The only thing in recent memory that Roman had wanted more had been getting out of Utah and finding a new life in California. A new life with room for a man like Demetri.
Roman’s heart couldn’t take the pull and the push, the no and then yes. But his heart also couldn’t stand to leave. Time for a few honest words before he got in too deep.
“I can only imagine how scary today must have been for you. I’m falling hard, and I’m falling fast, and as much as I want to be with you, I’ll wait until the end of the semester if I have to. But you can’t keep coming at me and then backing off. You choose once and for all, and I’ll abide by your decision. But I can’t stay tonight and have you act like you don’t know me tomorrow. That’s not going to work.”
“First, you didn’t deserve the way I treated you today. Second, I’m so fucking sorry.” Demetri stepped closer and cupped the back of Roman’s neck, pressing their foreheads together. “And third, I’m done pushing you away. I’m not sure I know how to balance us against my career. But I know I don’t want to stop seeing you. Not even for a few months.”
Roman leaned back so he could see Demetri’s face, the sincerity and vulnerability staring back at him clogged his throat. His voice croaked, but he had no desire to hide his emotions. “What if it’s you they’re coming after the next time they call a meeting?”
“We’ll be careful. That’s all we can do. If there’s fallout, I’ll deal with that when it comes.”
“We’ll deal with that.”
“We...” Demetri’s sweet, shy, sexy grin wrapped around Roman’s heart like a warm hug. “I like the sound of that.”
Demetri took Roman’s hand, tugged at it, and started walking backward. Toward the bedroom, Roman assumed. He didn’t need any encouragement, not when the invitation came from Demetri. If Roman were a good man, he’d remind Demetri of everything he stood to lose, of the bullet he’d dodged.
If Roman were a good man, he’d refuse.
12
One light tug had Roman silently following Demetri.
What Roman saw in him, Demetri didn’t know, but he wouldn’t question that now.
As sure as Demetri had been when he’d sat out by his pool that he had to break things off with Roman, having him in his house, trailing behind him toward the darkened bedroom, Demetri tossed all logic away, grinding it into the tile floors with the heel of his shoe as he passed.
Logic had no place where sex was concerned.
And even though no neighbors could see in through the sliding glass door in his bedroom that led out to the pool deck from his bedroom, his concern with being caught with a student had him closing the blinds. He’d never bothered to close them before when men had come over, and doing so now felt wrong.
A naughty secret he had to hide from the world.
Roman bumped against the corner of the bed in the dark, tripping and falling onto the mattress. In his mind, Demetri had imagined a slow seduction as they both stood in front of each other, taking off their clothes item by item, but he could adapt.
And crawling on his knees until Roman’s hips lay bracketed by Demetri’s thighs, that worked too.
Roman wasted no time stripping off his shirt and shorts, taking his underwear with them. Two thunks came next as Roman’s running shoes hit the floor. “Your turn.”
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Demetri said, as Roman’s muscles flexed and quivered beneath Demetri’s hands.
“You can’t even see me.”
“I don’t have to see you, or even feel you, to know you’re beautiful.” Demetri put his hand to the center of Roman’s chest. “Not here. Where it counts.”
Roman pulled Demetri in for a kiss, their lips brushing before Roman nipped and licked Demetri’s bottom lip. “Are you telling me I could have skipped all the workouts?”
Chuckling, Demetri said, “Not gonna lie. As an artist, I can appreciate all your hard work.”
“As an artist.” Clearly, Roman saw through Demetri’s bullshit. But it wasn’t all bullshit.
If Roman were only a hot body, Demetri would never have put his career in jeopardy, but so much more than firm muscles and a thick dick made the man. His compassion, his passion, shined bright.
Roman would have been the kind of man Demetri could have looked up to as a kid. Grant and the Center were so lucky to have found him.
With open-mouthed kisses, Demetri worked his way from the hollow of Roman’s neck down between the thick slabs of pectoral muscles. “I would love to draw you in my den as the afternoon sun sets over my fence, painting your body with golden light.”
“R-really?”
The hesitation came not from disbelief, but from his words catching as Demetri’s hand brushed a broad stroke across Roman’s lower abdomen. He continued that movement down to the base of that sumptuous cock.
Between Roman’s legs, Demetri sat on his haunches, his fingers skimming down muscled thighs. “Besides what I’m doing now, it’s hard to think of much else.”
“You gotta get naked.” Roman reached down and tugged at the shirt still tucked into Demetri’s waistband. “It’s way past my turn to get my hands on you.”
If Roman noticed Demetri’s moment of hesitation, he didn’t comment on it before Demetri pushed off the bed and took off all his clothes. When Demetri went to get back on the bed, Roman said, “We need light. I want to see you.”
Whatever Roman wanted, Demetri couldn’t deny him. At least when it came to something as simple as turning on a light.
What about when he wants to blow you?
Or fuck you?
Are you going to deny him then?
Demetri’s secret wasn’t sustainable. Not if he hoped their relationship would be going anywhere.
Demetri walked around the bed and turned on his bedside lamp. It had a rheostat on the wall, and he turned down the brightness until it cast the room in a soft glow. “Better?”
Roman rolled to his side, propping his head on his hand. “Daaumn.”
Demetri grinned. “Is that good?”
“Get over here. I need to get my hands on you.”
The head of Demetri’s dick glistened with precum as he crawled over the side of the bed. Roman wasted no time getting his hand on Demetri. Demetri nearly collapsed at the intimate touch, his head dropping between his shoulders as Roman stroked his cock with a strong, sure hand.
But Demetri couldn’t take the chance that Roman would replace his hand with his tongue, so he shifted out of reach and took Roman into his mouth.
Roman bucked. The harsh guttural sound made Demetri’s balls buzz as he took Roman to the back of his throat. He took a
dvantage of Roman’s distraction and moved back between his legs.
Demetri couldn’t get enough of this man. His scent, his taste, the way he muttered unintelligible curses as Demetri sucked and licked and worked the full length of that girthy shaft.
Slicking his fingers with spit, Demetri skimmed a finger down Roman’s taint and across his hole. Roman shivered. Goosebumps broke out over his skin.
“You like that?”
“Fuck me.”
Demetri chuckled, loving Roman’s responsiveness.
Roman braced himself on his elbows. “That wasn’t rhetorical. That was a command.”
Demetri gently bit Roman’s inner thigh, along that sexy muscle that joined his leg to his groin, and worked his way up from there. He laid on top of Roman, their cocks aligned, his hands going beneath Roman so he could hook his hands over Roman’s shoulders for leverage as he ground against him.
He nipped at Roman’s jaw and licked away the pain. “Did you bring condoms?”
The hands Roman had on Demetri’s ass stilled. “I didn’t come here to fuck you. I came here to make sure you were okay.”
Roman blew out an exasperated breath. “You seriously don’t have any condoms?”
Demetri ducked his head and flicked his tongue across Roman’s nipple so that Roman wouldn’t see the lie in his eyes. “No.”
“What gay man doesn’t have condoms?”
“It’s been a while since I’ve hooked up with anyone.” Which wasn’t a lie, and he had no problem meeting Roman’s curious gaze.
A half-smile slid across Roman’s face. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Does it matter that I haven’t?”
Roman hesitated. Demetri saw the question in his eyes, the one that asked why not. “I guess not.”
“But if I can’t use my dick, I can still use my mouth and my fingers.”
Or you could tell him the fucking truth.
Demetri needed to tell him. But not right then when they were naked and enjoying each other’s bodies. “If you’re game.”
Roman thrust up against him. “I won’t say no to that.”
Demetri kissed him on the lips and leaned across him, opening the nightstand drawer, reaching past the unopened box of condoms that had been sitting in his drawer for months, and grabbed the bottle of lube.
Sitting up, he laid the bottle of lube by his leg so it would be handy when he needed it. Then Demetri lifted Roman’s legs over his shoulders and licked and tasted his way from Roman’s heavy balls to his taint, and finally to that pucker of muscle Demetri had been dying to get his mouth on.
Roman grunted, his legs quivering at the contact as he reached down and stroked his own dick. The sight down Roman’s body from between his legs over the short-cropped pubes, the hills and valleys of his abdominals, to the puckered peaks of his nipples had Demetri almost confessing the truth.
He wanted this man.
And as much as he loved his taste, loved the way he groaned and the unabashed way he pleasured himself, Demetri wanted to be balls deep, pounding away at that glorious ass. Instead, his tongue did all the work. Roman’s musk working its way into his nose, making Demetri’s dick ache.
Reaching for the lube, he slicked up the fingers of one hand and worked it down the crease of Roman’s ass, teasing his hole while he sucked on those balls. He let Roman’s legs fall to the bed on either side of him as one finger breached the tight ring of muscle.
Roman’s head fell back, and he pushed against the intrusion begging for more. “Is that all you’ve got?”
When Roman relaxed around his finger, Demetri added a second and thrust his fingers in and out. Roman’s hand stroked faster on his cock. His balls drew up tight, his breath short, and his moans long.
He was close.
But not close enough.
Demetri found Roman’s prostate.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” The words ripped from Roman’s throat—an epitaph or a prayer?—as Roman fucked himself on Demetri’s fingers, hitting that sweet spot over and over again until Roman’s head thrashed side to side and air sawed in and out of his lungs.
He loved seeing Roman like this, at his wit’s end, hanging on that cliff. He wanted to go with him, but he wanted to give Roman his pleasure more. There would be plenty of time for Demetri to come later because he wasn’t inclined to let Roman go.
Not tonight.
Or any night?
Forever wasn’t guaranteed. Or even a likely possibility. Demetri pushed that thought out of his mind and let his fingers do what his dick wanted to.
“More.” Roman pushed back against Demetri, the muscles in Demetri’s forearm strained and fatigued in the best, most amazing way.
He added a third finger to Roman’s greedy hole, stretching him wide before knocking Roman’s hand away from his own dick and taking Roman into his mouth and shoving him off the cliff.
Glancing up, he watched Roman’s epic fall, felt the pulsing tightness around his fingers, felt the first strains of Roman’s orgasm as he sucked.
Roman held Demetri’s head in his hands, thrusting into his mouth, once, twice, before that saltiness hit Demetri’s tongue, and he swallowed and swallowed. Slowly, he eased his fingers out as Roman landed, a low, harsh chuckle rumbling from Roman’s chest.
Roman panted, sweat slicking his body, his chest heaving as his legs flopped and splayed out on the bed. On all fours now, Demetri leaned over Roman. Roman pulled him in tight, laying lazy kisses across his jaw, his cheeks, the slight stubble raking beneath Roman’s teeth.
Then Roman shifted and had the lube in his hand. “Squirt some in my palm.”
Demetri obeyed. When he finished and tossed the bottle aside, Roman used his strength to flip them. Demetri landed on his back with a bounce and a grin. The grin turned into a moan as soon as Roman’s hand went around Demetri’s dick.
Having Roman’s hands on him felt like heaven in a touch. He’d denied himself long enough.
Concentrating his attention on Demetri’s cock and nipples, Roman licked and nibbled, the taut flesh sending lightning strikes straight to his dick. It had been so long since someone had taken him in his hand or even touched him more than casually that Demetri lost himself in the sensation.
Blood quickly pooled in his groin, Roman’s fingers working Demetri’s dick like a maestro, expertly reading his body cues, his shivers and quivers and sighs. For a man who’d jacked off more in the past couple weeks than he had since puberty, it surprisingly only took seconds to drive Demetri to the precipice.
Cupping a hand behind Roman’s neck, Demetri pulled him in for a kiss. He needed to taste him and let their tongues do what his dick wanted to.
Roman’s slow ministrations turned into exquisite torture. A touch too light to ignite. The devilish grin on Roman’s sweet face catastrophic to Demetri’s control.
“You’re such a fucking tease.” Demetri fisted his hand around Roman’s and took over, thrusting into their joined hands, Roman’s fingers and palm working Demetri’s sensitive head.
Demetri bucked, the pulses building at the base of his cock. Roman had to have felt it as he teased Demetri’s nipple between his teeth.
Lost.
Utterly. Completely.
And he had no map to find his way back.
And didn’t care to either.
He shot his load, his nerves singing, the lights flashing behind his tightly closed lids. Warm, wetness landed on his abdomen and chest. He shouldn’t have been able to shoot that far, not with the number of loads he’d wasted on himself, but then that’s what Roman did to him. He took him to the edge...
…and destroyed him.
Roman stretched out beside Demetri, settling into the crook of Demetri’s arm while Demetri tried to catch his breath. The air felt rough in his lungs, and his heart kicked and punched.
He pulled Roman in and pressed a kiss to his temple. “That was amazing.”
“The only thing that would have made this better was hav
ing you inside me.”
Demetri grunted in agreement, but he must not have sounded convincing because Roman rolled up on his elbow and said, “If that’s something you’re into. I mean, we don’t have to. I know not everyone is into it. And if you’re not, it’s not a deal-breaker. It’s—”
Demetri shut him up with another kiss. “It’s not that.”
With his finger, Roman drew a small circle through the drying cum on Demetri’s skin. “Then what is it?”
Roman waited for Demetri to respond, his heart rate kicking up the longer it took Demetri to form the words. Way, way back in a deep dark corner of Roman’s mind, he heard that grating whisper. The one that said he wasn’t good enough, wasn’t worthy enough, wasn’t deserving enough.
All those inconvenient truths his father’s lies had taught him came bubbling up. Those stupid insecurities. Slippery bastards that resisted any strategy to tie them down or drown them with confidence.
Then what is it?
Demetri took a deep breath. Why was that such a difficult question to answer? “For once, I’d like to take things slow.”
Not a lie, but it certainly wasn’t the whole truth. What was Demetri hiding?
A steel door shuttered over Roman’s heart. Above all else, he had to protect himself. “Yeah. I heard you the first time you said that. But you’re the one who asked me to stay.”
“I meant it. Though that was great,” Demetri quickly added. “Just having you here, laying in my arms, would have been more than I could have imagined for myself a few weeks ago.”
“You make it sound like you’re some antisocial troll that no one in their right mind would want in their life. I don’t get it. You’re sexy as fuck. You’re smart. You’re not always an asshole...”
Demetri chuckled like Roman hoped he would, then the smile fell from Demetri’s lips. “I feel like I owe you an apology.”
“For not dicking me down, maybe. Though as soon as I can run by the pharmacy, I’ll let you make it up to me.”
Something flashed behind Demetri’s eyes as he said, “Very generous of you.”
Roman took another swipe through the jizz on Demetri’s belly, already getting aroused again at the thought of Demetri fucking him. He brought his finger to his lips to get a taste of Demetri, but Demetri caught his hand.